As my friend and I read about Urithiru and learned it was the home of what were essentially a bunch of gods in human form, we realized how hard it would be to manage that many people. Therefore we created our patented:
List of Urithiru PSAs That Must Have Happened:
-To the lightweaver who put an illusion of a chasmfiend in the oathgate entrance, a foreign emissary was coming on a diplomatic mission, and suffice to say relations are now…strained.
-Windrunners, while sticking someone to the ceiling might be an excellent way to stop a fight, please remember to let the participants down gently afterward, particularly in rooms with high ceilings.
-We understand that the hallways might be twisted and confusing to many, but please refrain from soul casting the walls, even if you are quote “late for a meeting.” Particularly do not soulcast any walls into blood. What is wrong with you? There were children nearby!
-Edgedancers, slicking the floor for a “fun prank” is not acceptable, particularly in public hallways. We have a laundress with a broken hip, and she’s threatening to sue.
-This is a general reminder to those of you with a gravitation surge, please keep track of your altitude and stormlight. We’ve had three accidents already this month.
-This is a general notice to all knights radiant. We ask that you use the stairs to get down from the top floor and refrain from jumping off the balcony. The ground is full of cracks and the bondsmith are getting irritated.
-Please remember that there are people here who are not knights radiant and therefore possess no special abilities or healing factor. There are currently eight people in the hospital due to negligence in this area.
-Since there are still many of you who refuse to refer to the Dustbringers by their preferred name, Releasers, mandatory sensitivity training will be held within the week. Please check the notice board for your order’s scheduled date and time.
There it is. Feel free to add more.
Some of the other good ones from my tumblr post on this:
- Stonewards, please refrain from creating handholds and staircases in the walls. The city planning committee is in an uproar and the traffic congestion is immense.
- Lightweavers, please remember to remove your illusions after you’re done practicing. We have multiple falling injuries from people assuming that the holes in the floor are illusions and not actually scheduled maintenance.
- To whomever Lashed the barracks doorway shut, we understand you are not on speaking terms with other members of your order. However, they do have a right to be able to sleep in their own bed. And no, you can’t Lash them to the ceiling as a substitute.
- Skybreakers, we know you’re all about the rules, but covertly rerolling a saving throw doesn’t warrant an out-of-character death penalty.
- Windrunners, please stop going up to visiting dignitaries and offering to “show them the world”.
- Stonewards, we know your herald is the best, please stop getting in shouting matches with the skybreakers in the hallways.
- Edgedancers, please stop talking the skybreakers in circles. Their Highspren have filed complaints.
- Lightweavers, while your practice is certainly important, please stop sending images screaming salacious rumors through the halls. On a similar note, please stop making fake dead ends, the ambassador was lost for nearly two days.