AonEne

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SULE! 

DND With Ene and @Blessing of Potency: (and @Ninjacraig721 and @VolatileMagnesium, but they're never on) 

"For all we know non-exploding kobolds are a government rumor!" 
"Look I'm just saying we've never seen an exploding kobold and a non-exploding kobold in the same room" 

"Are you the sane tiefling or the insane tiefling?" 
"I'm not a tiefling..." 

Me: I need water 
Friend: I have eight water bottles! 
Me: ??? nah I'm good - 
Friend: no like new plastic ones. I wouldn't just offer you my hydroflask 
*friend proceeds to pull eight water bottles out of his backpack and chuck one at me* 

"You don't have to look or act like a femboy to get me to see you as a femboy" 

I tried to say "I don't think I can physically do that" 
What came out: "I don't think I'm physically possible" 

"Let me demonstrate my ability to lethally throw this. Luna, cover your face" 
"don't throw it at my face, throw it over there" 
"but that makes noise. you absorb sound." 

*throws a candy at someone* 
"What was that for?" 
"He was being mean" 
"So you gave him candy?" 
"I gave him ATTEMPTED PAIN." 

"You were over there and the wolf just went nom on your back" 
"uh oh you gonna get chomped again" 
"noooooo i dont wanna get chomped" 

The one thing you never want to hear the DM say: Oh goody, I just rolled max damage! 

1: "I'm getting as much meat from these wolf carcasses as I can" 
2: "Okay where are you storing it, this is perishable meat" 
1: "I'll figure that out later" 
2: "...it'll be rotten by then. okay." 
3: "Your perished meat is perishable" 

"I was going to say I can't make a fire cause I don't have the equipment for it. Then I remembered I'm a wildfire druid. Fire's kinda my thing..." - Ene 

"I do that thing you do when there's multiple people moving really slow in the hallway and they take up the hall and you can't get past them so you just tiny-steps speedwalk behind them really annoyed, you know like that *makes little arm motions*" 

"I can't even move!...wait, I can if I treat someone as Difficult Terrain!" "new rule we treat walls as difficult terrain and I can phase through them" 

"Hey Ene have you seen my rulerstick?" 
*looks down at it on the ground right next to him* "...no." 

*discussion of how you'd throw said ruler stick as a weapon* 

"If states could declare war we'd have declared war on Nevada a long time ago. We could take Nevada. Utah could take Nevada in a fight." "We'd have declared war on Canada. Canada's too polite, we can take 'em." - my government teacher 

We're coming for you, Tesh... 

me too

So I'm just going about my day. I decide to look up Rise of the Guardians fanfic (TIL that it was a book series first; might have to check those out). I'm using AO3's wonderful handy-dandy filters to narrow my search down from the shockingly large amount that came up. And I see an...unexpected ship listed.

If you need something to read, or even if you don't but you're taking recs for the list, or whatever - I quite possibly enjoyed Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality more than Rhythm of War. It is on par with Brandon in writing quality, tone, characters, plot, everything really. It's long but it's good. It gets your soul and it knows it has your soul and it knows what to do to make you Feel Things and they are all of the things and my joy and hope and sentence structure like wow yeah. Yeah? Cool? Go read https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5782108/1/Harry-Potter-and-the-Methods-of-Rationality

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

I claim you all as my platonic Valentines, so there. I love you all dearly and if mailing things wasn't expensive, I'd mail you all treats.

Except for Truth who I'm claiming as my non-platonic Valentine - every day is a Happy Day with you. I love you.

*groups hugs everyone except the people who don't like hugs* You're not alone, this day or any other! Ene is here to be a friend if you need one! I love you all!

Me: *talking about how you strangle someone with a friend while writing a murder post* 

Friend: "I'd offer to show you by doing it on you but then I realized wait no" 

Huh, apparently my subconscious ships Kaladin and Kelsier, despite how much I tell it that wouldn't work at all.  I dreamed of training montages and having a minor hero-worship-crush on your teacher. Not gonna lie though, Kaladin dying, becoming a Cognitive Shadow after Kelsier rushes him to Stormlight, having a Dramatic Moment with Syl ("You're not my Knight Radiant anymore, Kal, but I will always be your spren"), and then having training montages in a swimming pool (no, I don't know either) trying to outwit Kell and his Avengers team RoW 

all sounds like a crack-taken-somewhat-seriously fanfic that I'd absolutely read. 

DM: "there's a sign that says do not disturb [...] what do you do" 

Me: "I disturb" 

Feeling pretty might have a mental breakdown later

Happy birthday!

Wow, I'm interested in that too, spambot! 

Hey McWafy! Could you possibly rearrange your signature, or move some of it to your About Me? We're trying to keep them shorter.  

The fire, don't bring me back to the fire, don't make me go back I can't go back I can't Roshar no not Roshar please don't don't bring me to Braize I'll kill you I'll spit on your bones I'll die a thousand times again don't take me don't put me under their knives don't BRING ME BACK TO THAT AGONY 

The others, where are the other Heralds? I...I'm safe here, right? The Shard isn't one of their delusions rasping red and trickling black their mouths promise we can be safe if we just. let. go. ...right? 

Wait, that "Brandon, why do you write like you're running out of time" joke I've heard is from Hamilton? "You fight like you're running out of time" this is the first time I've really listened to the soundtrack lol

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU INCREDIBLE HUMAN BEING  

Adulthood's weird... 

Aw man, the dream I was having about Rysn and I protecting Hoid from Odium so he could read RoW memes wasn't real life...

Happy birthday, Kidpen!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAAAAYYYYYYYYY 

Sometimes I just want to hug everyone and give you all hot choc because I is sadness

*hugs the Shard*

One hundred human beings saw my +Follow Member button and thought, "aight". I'm...still somewhat in shock. I have a following. I have a,,,we don't have a term for a group of 100, but I have 100 peoples who could theoretically see this - or more likely, let's say half are active, half of those click the notification, that's still 25 people who are likely to see whatever I say. Wow.

Every single one of you is awesome and I feel like I should do something for @TheMothLord as a celebration but what do you do for this stuff...?

Here, have 100 smiley faces and a puppy, thanks for thinking I'm interesting or cool or have nice content or whatever, I love you all a ton!

:lol::D:lol::D:lol::D:lol::D:lol::D:lol::D:lol::D:lol::D:lol::D:lol::D:lol::D:lol::D:lol:

HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYY, ily fren  

Happy shared birthday tomorrow that the Shard thinks is today!

Happy birthday, Isaac! You're awesome!