AonEne

50 minutes ago, Ookla the Rōnin said:

I usually don't like fan fiction,

Says the girl who started one of the longest-running RPs on the Shard?  

4 minutes ago, CalanoCorvus said:

you're like, archangel. powerful servant of God.

I'll take that  (being a good mod and moving from the intro thread) 

On 6/18/2019 at 7:31 PM, AonEne said:

This is a bit off-topic, but I just realized I recognize the people in that meme now! That's Captain America and Iron Man! *is proud of self* *should probably not be proud of that*

I got nine upvotes for this.

I'm certainly not protesting, but someone explain.

3 minutes ago, Archer said:

This post is sure accumulating a lot of links, isn't it? For aesthetic reasons, I'm going to plop one last one in right here.

Can you just never die please? Keep being funny for the rest of your life. No pressure. 

Just now, Lunamor said:

Without looking it up, name all of the alkali metals.

Are you trying to kill me

Quote

[escort agency] fully understands your feelings and brings you a wide class of dating buddies for a true girlfriend experience in Ludhiana. 

"dating buddies" 

Quote

You may only enter this website if you are at least 18 years old- if not, you cannot enter the site. If you are accessing this website from a country that prohibits access to adult content or any associated activities, you do so at your own risk. It is your responsibility to comply with local laws. 

Says the spambot advertising sex on a book fansite lmao 

Quote

I, acutely, do care for [brand removed] Oil. 

What are we doing wrong here? Oil is loathed by experts. I actually didn't enjoy Oil. It lately occurred to me that a large number of comrades don't like Oil. I see this Oil hasn't made them happy. 

I think this applies, "He who lives by the sword shall die by the sword." 

That's rather a gadget. I surely wouldn't sneeze at that. As we know, that should be a show stopper in that case. I fully defer to that notorious suspicion. I reckon that is not too far from the road. 

I'm not so sure this bot does, acutely, care for it when it has those next sentences in the same post...like, are you trying to advertise or not

And then the rest I just left in because I thought it was funny. (I did rearrange the order to put absolutely random statements together and the negative statements together.) 

Anyway idk how the quote is relevant but I'm happy to see it XD 

Quote

• that hat that jaidenanimations wore in her aroace video (i want it)

I just rewatched the video and I can't find the hat am I blind ajakdhahdlhl 

(Hello, nice to meet you ) 

Quote

also noooo not his shirt 

Jac, I just needed to let you know that you are amazing. 

Questioner

So, the Shardplate, are those also spren or <specific> spren?

Brandon Sanderson

It's a RAFO!

Footnote: The attentive reader will notice that Brandon's response suggests that Shardplate is made of RAFO. This is, in fact, unlikely to be the case.
Shadows of Self Chicago signing (Oct. 12, 2015)

That footnote though 

97 here. Think I'll keep a count of how many I get today - I haven't for the last year, which I mildly regret just cause it'd be funny to have a count, but w/e 

:D:D:D I seek validation 

I just want you all to know, before I begin, that I’ve been hyped about writing this literally since I posted the last one. I’ve mulled over what to say, tried to remember parts...yeah. So that’s fun.  (Despite this, I’m still managing to write most of this way too late at night.) 

I’m posting it both in a status update and in my blog as a way of transitioning this tradition to my blog in the future. I’ve only done it once before, so does it need a transition and can I call it a tradition yet? Who knows. 

With that out of the way...another year happened. Which is a decently big deal on the Shard, for those of us who haven’t been around for ages, at least. It’s now been two years since I read the Sanderson Memes and Sanderfan threads during school, then decided this place was pretty cool. 

In the last year I’ve gone from thirty-one followers to fifty-four, thirteen days won to fifty-seven, and 1,038 reputation points to 3,904 of them. I made a blog and submitted my crappy art to the gallery. (Be glad I never submitted my Inquisitor sculpture...) I started some more forum games and some more roleplays too - who’s surprised - and the old ones have been just as fun. I even participated in a few discussions about the actual books.  

(I also joined Discord, which in my case is essentially an extension of the Shard, and that let me meet and talk to even more wonderful people. I don’t regret that choice.) 

This means it’s also been two years since I started gradually meeting some of the best people in the world. Because really, you are. Again, I can’t list all of you because I will literally run out of original compliments, and it’ll end up as something like “you’re cool! And you can write! I like what you write and how you talk!” for everyone and that’s not very nice of me, so to everyone I didn’t mention - that does not mean I don’t enjoy talking with you, laugh when I read your RP, and overanalyze your member titles. It just means I’m running out of ways to say those things without saying the same thing to all of you and feeling guilty about it. 

I’m going to begin by saying that it wouldn’t be fair to mention the people I focused on last time again, but also I can’t not because they are amazing too, so consider yourselves mentioned! Archer continued to help me through some emotional death sessions and Mist saved my butt recently. Also Po is Po and I really don’t have words for her. (@Archer, @Mistspren, @Blessing of Potency) 

Sorana is another storming awesome human being who must be talked about. If someone had told me a couple years ago that I would eventually be friends with a literal angel who also is an adult in Europe, I would have been very confused. But I am! And you are! You’re one of the nicest people I’ve ever met in my entire life, and everything you spend your time on, from sewing/quilting/doing magic with cloth to alltypes of roleplay, is just so grand. Your writing style is so beautiful and also you’re one of those cool smart people who’s bilingual. I know there are a lot of them, especially in countries that don’t speak English, but that doesn’t make them any less smart. So yeah, you’re awesome. (@Sorana, @bilingual people) 

Guess who else rocks? Meta. Meta does. You’re so witty that you should be Ene! Also, you write well. No arguments - you do. In addition, I have come and died in your inbox and you just causally revive me and send me off again to keep living in the world. How do you do this? No idea, but I’m convinced you’re a Feelings Sorcerer. Thanks for the Rioting and recommendations; you’re hilarious and way smarter than anyone has a right to be. Please do not stop being these things. If you do I will make sad puppy eyes at you. (@MetaTerminal) 

Next up on our list of Extremely Fantastic Human Beings is Stick! DoomStick, I will clarify, because this site has a trillion of them! Stick, we’ve been talking for ages and I would like to not stop, because you’re always super fun and clever and interesting. Like seriously, always. You can cook and bake and play an instrument and speak Latin and make epic rainbow loom things...the world is running out of things you haven’t conquered, dude.  Every time we chat, whether on the Longest Status Update or in the plethora of other updates or TLPW or our AMAs or anywhere else, you’re a delight to talk to, and RPing with Tourmaline and Olivia is no different. Thank you. (@DoomStick) 

WYN. YOU’RE A PERSON. A great person who has heartwarming RP, sweet things to say to everyone, and palpable love just...emanating from you. You and your stories are fantastic. James is fantastic - thank you so much for being in TKND. I hope that girl at your school learns how awesome the “janitor man” is. Your faith and humor deserve accolades. (@Wyndlerunner) 

Silva, for all y’all’s information, is also incredible. I mean, how many named NPCs do you have? And you keep them all organized and write awesomely with them! At this point you can’t convince me your brain could make words go together badly. Maybe if you had a concussion. No matter what we’re talking about, religion or magic dreams or cute deer, you are consistently amazing. (@Silva) 

Getting on Discord introduced me to Storm, and I am eternally grateful. I already knew you were fairly cool from our small Shard interactions and the fact that you founded TUBA, but now I know your coolness in detail! You’re funny and an epic storyteller, and I really like our conversations. I look forward to RPing with you. (@Stormblessed Dolphin) 

Lunaaaaaaaaa!!! I’m not sure why I typed your name like that, but! Whatever! You’re exciting! Having adventures with you is a highlight of my Sharding experience, and you seem to be able to just make fun nonsense happen through sheer force of being you. Also you can write! “Well I’ve never RPed before” *proceeds to make characters who I fall in love with instantly* (@Lunamor) 

(You can probably tell I’m tired by now, and this is getting long, but spike it I’m gonna rapid-fire verbally hug you all in no particular order fight me) 

Invo, you are obviously The Cool Kid but also you’re really thoughtful and you give smart advice. I’m glad I know you. (@Invocation) 

Salad, you are literally the best in every way! I love talking with you, and also we are the same in like fifteen different ways. Everything you say, I can relate to or agree with, with the sole exception of your British spelling. You’re a writing ace. hahahahaha worst pun ever we’re gonna pretend that didn’t happen okayyyyy I am so sorry but also I’m leaving it in so how sorry am I really (but seriously you are a good writer) (@The Awakened Salad) 

Ele, you were the first person to welcome me to the Shard, but I only really got to know you on Discord. You’re friendly and funny and I’m sorry I haven’t watched that one general man’s video you gave me yet, but I’m happy to know it’s there if I need encouraging. (@ElephantEarwax) 

Per, you’re supportive and cool and I am so sorry I haven’t been around to watching RWBY with you, it was fun! Jay, it’s great talking to you and I’m going to buy your books someday! (@Emperor Stick, @Jaywalk) 

Lith, you break my brain with your creativity! Zinc, your art and writing are frighteningly good! Star, your enthusiasm for your art is inspiring! Xino, you know how great you are at worldbuilding! (@ShadowLord_Lith, @ZincAboutIt, @Shard of Thought, @xinoehp512) 

Venture, you are steadfastly amazing and brave! Jac, you have really great ideas and chatting with you is a pleasure! Rebecca, I love talking with you in TUBA PMs and thank you for being a great Maid of Honor, even though it went nowhere! Same goes to Ash, who also killed me with her ships! (Condor will never be resolved...nooooooo...) (@Butt Ad Venture, @bees?, @Rebecca, @Ashspren) 

Mac, I marvel at your advice and wisdom! Truthless, I’m sorry I left HAHAR (hold up, that was its acronym? Ha har, a laugh? That’s gold lol) but RPing with you was fun! Honorless, your discussions are always great! (@MacThorstenson, @Truthless of Shinovar, @Dreamer) 

To everyone I have ever roleplayed with, I sincerely thank you. 

Let me get really serious for a sec. A common phrase when people are expressing love is “I love you to death.” Which makes some sense: “I’ll love you even past death.” “I’d kill for you.” It could also be interpreted as “I love you so much I want to kill you.” (Let’s hope not.) And...”I would die for you.” 

The thing is, I do love all of you, as friends, sometimes as much as family. Honestly, more than my own family in some cases. And I will continue loving you in the afterlife that I believe in. I would not, however, kill for you in most cases, nor would I kill you. Or die for you. 

But the last year or so has just hit me so hard that I don’t even want to think of a good enough metaphor. Sometimes the Shard was the problem, or made the problem worse. But most of the time, you guys have saved me. I’m not suicidal, that’s not part of my depression portfolio. But I’m living emotionally and mentally as well as I am because of some of you people. 

So I don’t love you to death. I love you to life, because that’s what your love did for me. 

*hopes that wasn’t as stupid as it sounds in her head as she pulls out a root beer and proposes a toast to another year* 

!!!!! Got a great book yesterday for a great price due to it being secondhand and me working at the bookstore, and it's SO COOL and I thought I have to show youuuu! 

...wait, why'd you start following a banned spambot?

...why are you Fadran

"As hilarious as this is, I think I got my username in 2003. (13 year old me is dumb.)" - Chaos

That's the year I was born. The age gap here scares me.

"If states could declare war we'd have declared war on Nevada a long time ago. We could take Nevada. Utah could take Nevada in a fight." "We'd have declared war on Canada. Canada's too polite, we can take 'em." - my government teacher 

We're coming for you, Tesh... 

"Why not both?  Though your list of RP ships is probably going to go out the door..." - Ashspren

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

These are not in order, they're just as I think of them.

[REDACTED].

Smokestone.

OOSOOM.

Condor.

Juneo.

Flashbacks Squared.

Cole x We-Don't-Know-Her-Name.

Shalcatraz (kidding) (maybe).

More that I'm surely forgetting.

Fire, were you gonna answer what Ink said in my AMA? You don't have to, just wondering.

“My Author did some reading once on what crimes got you respected in prison. Not because there was any chance she’d go, of course...” Her voice derailed into a chuckle before she began again. “She found that anyone who preyed on children was heavily disrespected, and in fact often attacked if they weren’t kept separate. Even criminals have their standards.” 

Her finger tapped the rock she sat on idly, then automatically tapped five more times, but before she could make it a seventh she noticed what she was doing and stilled the finger. Wincing, she continued, “One of the crimes which was often respected was drug dealing, or being found in possession of drugs. I never understood that.” She blinked once, slowly. “Taking drugs makes you dependent on them. You itch for them constantly. You think about them. You want them, even knowing how they hinder you, knowing the bad effects...even hating them, you want them. You are dependent on them.” 

Her hand clenched into a fist, hard, the offending finger crushed up into the movement like all the rest of them. “And I understand that, intimately...but I refuse to be dependent on this.” 

~-~-~-~ In other words, this popped into my head and screamed at me. I keep telling myself I don’t have time to write a CBST character, but she’s in my head guuuuyyyyyys ahhhhh. 

*causally reading Firefight*

OH

OHHHHHHHH

THAT'S WHERE YOUR NAME AND RANK COME FROM

HOLY STORMS, A MYSTERY THAT'S BEEN CONFUSING ME FROM THE DAY I JOINED THE SHARD JUST GOT SOLVED

AHHHHHHHHHHH MY BRAIN

*dangerous rumbling* Hᴇʟʟᴏ, ᴍᴇʀᴇ ᴍᴏʀᴛᴀʟs. I ᴀᴍ ᴛʜᴇ Sᴛᴏʀᴍғᴀᴛʜᴇʀ, Gᴏᴅ ᴏғ sᴘʀᴇɴ ᴀɴᴅ Sᴘʟɪɴᴛᴇʀ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ Aʟᴍɪɢʜᴛʏ. FEAR ME.

boom boom lightning *crAcKLe* clouds z o o m wheeeee

*DND group gets in a longer-than-you'd-think discussion about sticky notes vs pop-up sticky notes and which is normal* 
"These are normal, those are pop-up" - Po after doing research 
"Those are cool, yours are lame papers with glue!" (paraphrased) 

"The average human is like ten HP right" (this is just funny out of context) 

My character: "Hi can I play cards with you -" 
Other character: *promptly grabs my character and yeets them at the kobolds* 
DM: "do you resist this, Ene" 
Me: "no" 
*the kobold dies on impact* 

Okay now the session has devolved into incorrect quotes generator and I'm loving it. Most of these are randomly generated, with me just inputting names: 

Ene: Stick and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us
Truth: *sighing* What did Stick do?
Ene: He chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and - 
Stick: Who wants a steering wheel? 

Ene: Come on, I wasn’t that drunk last night.
Stick: You were flirting with Truth.
Ene: So what? They're my partner.
Stick: You asked them if they were single. 
Ene: 
Stick: And then you cried when they said they weren't. 

Ene: If I die, my funeral is going to be the biggest party ever and you’re all invited
Star: If? 
Xino: Great, the only party I’ve ever been invited to and she might not even die. 

Tesh, in a high voice, holding barbie: hey ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!
Salad, in a deep voice, holding ken: nonsense, barbie. you’re staying home and having my kids
Knight: what the frick are you guys doing?
Tesh: playing systemic oppression

Ene: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?
Salad: The car takes a screenshot.

Mist: I think we're missing something.
Goat: Teamwork?
Vapor: Cohesion?
Fadran: A general sense of what we’re doing?

Fadran, setting down a card: Ace of spades
Queen, pulling out an Uno card: +4
Kindness, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you
Connie, trembling: What are we playing

Safire: You know those things will kill you, right?
June, pouring another glass of whiskey: That’s the point.
Luna, smoking a cigarette: We’re trying to speed up the process.
Beram: *nods while eating raw cookie dough* 

Ene: Well, aren’t you all a rag-tag group of adventurers with unclear goals and good hearts! Oh, let me guess: you’re out to save the world!
Witless: Well, actually, that sounds like a pretty fair assessment.
Po: More or less, I guess...
Archer: That sounds awesome! Let’s do that!
Ink: I’m new here, but I am open to the concept.
Tesh: I thought that’s what we were doing, guys, come on! 

*the squad right before Ene's wedding*
Ink: Well I have to go, I have a wedding to attend.
Po: Wait... Oh! I have a wedding to attend too!
Archer: Oh, I have a wedding to attend as well
Tesh: I THINK WE ALL HAVE WEDDINGS TO ATTEND
Witless, panicked: I THINK I HAVE A WEDDING TO OFFICIATE

Maybe I should have Witless officiate my wedding... 

Fritz: What does 'take out' mean?
Stick: Food 
Ene: Dating
Truth: Murder
Hen: IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOURE NOT A COWARD. 

Adilie: Good responses for being stabbed with a knife?
Eryn: Rude.
Drae: That’s fair.
Ladashwy: Not again.
Marie: Are you going to want this back? 

Marie: Okay okay stop asking me if I'm straight, gay, bi, whatever. I identify as a RUSTING THREAT. 

Marie: *Stubs their toe* RUSTS! 
Adilie: Mind your language!
Marie: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”???
Adilie: ... 
Marie: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes. 

Marie: Go to Hell
Kelsier, tearing up: I wish I could

Po: What are your goals?
Ene: To pet all the dogs.
Po: No, fitness goals.
Ene: To be able to run fast enough to pet all the dogs.

Cassie, standing with her back turned: I’ve been expecting you, James.
James: How did you do that without turning around?
Cassie: ...to be perfectly honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you.

Ben: I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.
Shana: You're like 15 years old
Ben: I MIGHT DIE AT 30! 

Jace: What time is it?
Ax: I don’t know; pass me that saxophone and we’ll find out
Ax: *plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune*
Doc: WHO THE STORMS IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING
Ax: It’s 2 am

Mist: WHY. why did you give Emi a KNIFE?! 
Star: I’m sorry. They said they felt unsafe. 
Mist: Now I feel unsafe! 
Star: I’m sorry. 
Star: ...would you like a knife? 

@theTruthshaper @AonDii @Shard of Thought @xinoehp512 @Tesh @The Awakened Salad @Knight of Iron @Mist ill tag the rest of you later it about to die