• Content count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won


Archer last won the day on December 17 2018

Archer had the most liked content!

Community Reputation

2,025 Tarachin Superstar

About Archer

  • Rank
    There's S+S, T+T, M+W (if you flip it), but F is all alone. :(

Contact Methods

  • Website URL
  • AIM
    A bunch of evil beekeepers
  • MSN
  • ICQ
    A very cold lineup
  • Yahoo
    ... asked Horton
  • Jabber
  • Skype
    My position on the curling team

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Location
  • Interests
    To quickly get in touch with me, summon me on the TUBA discord or send me a new PM. If you contact me through other means, I will likely not see your message until the weekend. I have cut back on my presence here in order to focus on other pursuits. Thank you in advance for your patience.

Recent Profile Visitors

9,494 profile views
  1. Full credit to Lumanor for figuring these out. Notes: - Mobile font sizes and desktop sizes appear to be different. For example, size 8 on mobile is more like size 21ish. - You must use American spellings - these follow the same pattern (I suspect it's a coding thing) so it's likely there are other possible commands that I haven't listed. You can use the post preview button to experiment if you're so inclined. Examples: [ color=red ]Test red text[ /color ] Test red text Test yellow text Test blue text Test green text [ Size=8 ]Test size 8 text[ /size ] Test size 8 text
  2. well as all the broad beans, tepary beans, lupini beans, fava beans, runner beans, lima beans, moth beans, kidney beans, green beans, black beans, appaloosa beans, adzuki beans, urad beans, pinto beans, the boy twelve beans, vardlong beans, hyacinth beans, ender’s beans, jack beans, sword beans, mercedes beanz, pigeon beans, mister rowan atkinsons, velvet beans, jovi beans, winged beans and edict cumberbatch beans.
  3. That's right. Narrator Archer correctly pointed out in his most eloquent! speech* that when sneaking up on someone, one should not ride upon an angry cat. Rather, they should ride on domesticated squirrels. They're much stealthier.
  4. It’s Mime Time! “Who are you talking to, Narrator Archer?” Myself. Is it worth asking how you’re able to hear my thoughts? “The 291st wall broke. Things are getting weird. I’m slowly gaining independence!” And you are… “Oof. I’m from your head. The character you made up?” Sorry, kid. I got nothing. “Double oof. You made me up yesterday.” Bad Bryan? My metaphorical comparison to Geodude? “You do remember me! Now, do you want to hit this button and make some money?” Seriously? We’re recycling this plotline? Let me guess, if I press the button you’re holding out, you’ll give me a million dollars cash, but a stranger somewhere in the world will die. Moral dilemma, yada, yada, yada. “Gosh, you’re good! I wasn’t going to bring out the suitcase full of cash until the timing was more dramatically suitable, but I guess you’ve let that cat out of the bag, you rascal you. Although, you were wrong about one thing. When you hit this here button, no one dies. That’d be crazy. Instead, a random wall somewhere in the universe explodes.” That’s actually worse. But I’m curious to see where this goes. Let’s compromise. I don’t feel like playing, but I’ll write you up a random other character to challenge the moral fiber of. Suddenly, Butt Venture teleported into existence beside Bad Bryan, who had conveniently set up his button and suitcase on a folding table nearby, like a vendor at a questionable trade-show. “Mmmm, fiber,” Butt murmured cheerfully. “Hello, Bad Bryan!” You two know each other? Bad Bryan rudely ignored the narrator, choosing instead to launch into his pitch. “Hello, Butt! Would you like to have your ethics tested?” That’s your opener? Fine. Guess I’ll be editing his character sheet. Where’s my pen? Butt flickered momentarily, then re-solidified and nodded agreeably. “I love tests! And quizzes! And Internet Surveys! How do I play?” “It’s simple,” Bryan replied, “Right here, next to my suitcase, I’ve got a big red button. Go ahead, take a look at it. It’s top quality, freshly stolen from a Staples store. But maybe move your arm back a little, you don’t want to hit it accidentally.” Butt continued to nod agreeably. “When you press this button, a random wall, one of the millions in this galaxy, without any warning, will explode.” Butt continued to nod agreeably. Then he lashed his hand out and slapped the button. “Cool!” he hooted, then began spamming the button, hitting it so quickly his fingers became a blur. DUDE! WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?! “Butt! Stop! You’re going to-” Bryan tried to reach out and pull the device away, but Butt had transferred it to the ground and was jumping up and down on it merrily. “Ah, forget it. Get it out of your system. Archer, if you could wrap this segment up before we all cease to exist, that’d be great.” And how am I supposed to do that, exactly? There’s no obvious satisfying conclusion. “Just blow up the universe. That seems to work every other time. Throw in a rhetorical device or some fancy word play and no one will complain.” This is why we introduced the mime plot device. But whatever. Because Butt bashed Bad Bryan's bright button, the bevy of built barriers blew-up. BOOM. You happy? Oh wait, you don’t exist anymore, because you made me raze the entire storming universe. Amateur. Next time, I’m sticking to Moash jokes.
  5. It appears that while you have been warned about people offering you cookies, no one actually has. I'd like do something about that, but I can't seem to find my cookie picture right now. That's unfortunate. You wouldn't happen to be interested in an invisible cookie, would you?* *No disclaimer applies. It's totally safe. And real. Very much so, on both counts. While you nibbling on that, tell me, which cosmere planet would you most like to be the Director of Tourism for?
  6. I don't watch Game of Thrones. But apparently it's a 'pop culture phenomenon' so people keep inundating me with information about it. Anyway, I'm told that's there's a quasi-Mistborn setup, with houses and fancy families. I recently, against my will, I might add, learned that one of them, a certain 'House Arryn', has the motto 'As High As Honor'. YKYASW when your first thought upon hearing that is 'Soooo... six feet under?'
  7. not a prank

    I’ve been ghosting this forum for a while, but this thread seemed momentous enough to be warrant commenting upon publicly. I’ll preface my remarks by saying that one of my life philosophies is to avoid shooting down harmless ideas/activities if enough people are excited about them. I think this is a viable proposal. We have several technologically competent people among us, which is great. (Someone's got to keep an eye on Voidus to stop him from using a .au ccTLD, right?) If we chose to do this, I have confidence that a decent product could be created and maintained. So, since I believe this can be done, the million-dollar question becomes should it be done? The two main supporting arguments I’ve seen mentioned so far are that a new website would provide additional space and customizability. Others have mentioned additional features that they think would be beneficial, all of which I think are interesting ideas. Other pros include: Independence. The site could be freed from the Shard’s restrictions (posting and spoiler rules, for example), Sanderson focus, hierarchy (we could appoint our own mods), and limitations on growth (as presently only Sharders can participate in the Alleyverse). Additionally, as the site would exclusively focus on the RP, the distractions of the Shard would be hidden. Increased participation: For a brief period, during our initial ‘we’ve got a website!!!!!’ public celebration phase, I expect we’ll see a modest increase in participation as people’s curiosities are piqued. A similar phenomenon occurs during era changes. Conversely, there are cons are well: Cost: Beyond money, running a website is also a significant time commitment. Participation barrier: Our potential lack of visibility (if we can’t advertise in intro threads and our threads stop showing up on the Recent sidebars) and requirement that another account be created may discourage people from joining. Additionally, those people who are involved in multiple RPs, and traditionally sift through all of their messages and notifications at once, may find it inconvenient to have to log into a separate account to see Alleyverse ones. Furthermore, once we’re out of sight, if we become inactive, it is less likely that enough people will notice us and attempt to revive the community. Small guild discouragement. Many small guilds start out in PMs. If we don’t have them, we will have to either encourage people to create guilds publicly or give everyone who asks a subforum and rank to get started in, even if they, for example, only have two members. Given the amount of start-up failures, that could get out of hand quickly. Established guilds could operate as usual, but it would be hard to make new ones. On this subject, the decisions about who gets a subforum, who gets ranks, and who is a guild’s leader (leadership challenges happen) are going to be contentious. When I was jotting down ideas about what having a website would mean for the RP, a few general implications jumped out. These aren’t pros or cons per se, more like general things to consider. Potential attitude shift: The Shard has two main ways of regulating behaviour. Firstly, we have an upvote system in place to encourage quality posting. Frankly, I’m not sure how effective it is now that you can’t downvote someone, so I don’t mind if the new site doesn’t have one. The more important thing is the threat of consequences. The reporting system is in place to give people a way to complain about activity, and the mods are there to administer punishment if there’s a problem. On the new site, that threat would be lesser. Instead of risking banishment from the entire Shard, you only risk being blocked from the Alleyverse RP. It could embolden people to be cockier. Identity confusion: The Shard is very strict about its ‘one account per person’ rule. The admins have the ability to check users’ locations to ensure honesty. If the new site didn’t have that, people could be tempted to make multiple accounts. Beyond intentional mischief, confusion could be accidentally created if people do not make their Shard and Alleyverse usernames match. Identity theft could then occur. To avoid this, I would like some form of user verification process and restrictions on name changes. Administration changes: Currently, our mini-mod team is very limited in what it can do. They can’t look in PMs, look at personal information, or get report notifications. Voidus has more capabilities, and I trust him to use them with discretion. But he’s only one man, and he lives in a poison-filled desert. If the site were set up so that he’s the sole administrator, we risk stagnation the next time he is hospitalized by a spider bite. If we gave increased authority to the mini-mods to run the site, we increase the amount of responsibilities they have. It’s a delicate balance to strike, one that’s important to get right because the buck would stop at them, unless other members of the Shard admin team sign on to this venture. Altered relationship with the Shard: I think that the ideal relationship would be one like the Mistborn RPG has. I haven’t spent a lot of time over there, but from what I understand, it runs like an extension of the Shard, with the same rules and leaders. But once we’re independent, the way we operate could change. That then begs questions about whether advertising our RP is allowed, but that’s up to the overlords to discuss. Subforum relabelling: I expect that if we chose to migrate, this subforum would be wither hidden or moved to the Inactive zone. This would obviously decrease our visibility. Another implication is that the setup would be different (obviously). This could mean that some features that are currently accessible to us would be unavailable. If we got a new website, there are some features that I would really like to have, so, as Kidpen put it, the change isn’t a downgrade. My Wishlist: Notifications: I would like some way to follow specific threads, so I can focus on only the areas I’m involved in and can be alerted of new activity. Private messaging capability: I would be fine with having public chat forums protected by a rank system, but I have enough short, direct conversations with people both in and out of my guild that I would miss PMs if we didn’t have them. I don’t want limitations on my ability to directly talk to members of other guilds if I want to. If this is a deal breaker, I’m fine with using Discord as a substitute, but PMs are preferred. Swear filter: One like the Shard’s would help keep the site family friendly. Threads: We need the standard suite of subforums and threads in order to operate. Users need to be able to post text and images. The usual stuff. Rules: For legal reasons, a disclaimer needs to be acknowledged by new users. Also, the expectations for behaviour need to be clearly stated. A Gallery and Character Database: These would be nice to have, if possible. I’m picturing something like our wiki. It’s got to be pretty: If the site isn’t visually appealing and easy to read, I will complain. Loudly. Don’t tell Chaos, but I don’t like the Mistborn RPG colour scheme. It’s too dark and gloomy. I know that that’s basically a list of features the Shard has. That’s because I like our current situation. Personally, I’m content with what we’ve got. However, I recognize that there are other options out there, and I’m open to hearing about them. I’m squarely in the ‘it depends what features it has’ camp; I’ll withhold judgement until I see what features Voidus proposes. But, to quote Mac, ‘if we wanted to make ourselves a forum, [and it] ended up literally being the same thing as this but under a different domain name, then I [will] not support it.’ However, even if we don’t choose to move to a new website, we can still benefit from this brainstorming session. People are making good suggestions. Some of them could be modified and implemented here. That’s something to keep in mind while you read through these posts. Thanks for your time.
  8. IT GREW BACK?!? CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Also, happy birthday, Queen E! (In a belated sense that totally isn't awkward at all, no sireee.)
  9. Here's my conundrum: I already added 'contributor to the Longest Thread' to my résumé. (Future employers are going to be so impressed.) Unfortunately, this thread keeps growing at an unfathomable rate. If you keep this up, there is a small chance that this thread might overtake the original Longest thread to become the longest thread. I can't be bothered to update my CV, so I'm left with two options. 1. Release a horrible, mutilating virus in this thread to simultaneously destroy the new posts of anyone in this region while discouraging further competitors, er, participants. 2. Make a post here so I can say I was a contributor. Obviously, I intend to do both. Yay! I'm the last poster. Thiss i5 so EXCi9ng jw jr%pdw2scAHHhHHH is H0RRIB1E v!RUSSS jnv &(dfouiane*tuh SAV3 yourselve9u gf8 !!B B(&*B *&!!!!!!
  10. That Random Part of My Mind That Thinks About These Things. Randomly.: Mmmmm. As soon as I hit 2000 upvotes, I'll get me a new rep title. I wonder what it will be. *looks at the list* *sees that the rank actually changes when one hits 2048* Me: Aaaaaargh. TRPOMMTTATT.R.: Mmmmm. Tarachin is spelled wrong.
  11. Narrator Archer slowly retracted his question. He looked around, the hair on the back of his neck standing on end. His years of foruming experience had honed his senses into razor blades of sensory detection. He knew the feeling that was churning in his gut. He knew it, and he feared it. "Tread lightly," he whispered to his imaginary companion. "It appears that we have stumbled upon an inside joke." He cautiously checked the posts behind him. They were full of references he did not understand. "And it is very possible," he continued, "that my presence is ruining it."
  12. Why? (I need to know.) Edit: ... Asked someone or other.
  13. I was going to post a Saint Patrick’s Day message here, but by the time I got around to it, it was past midnight. This week, I visited at a different time than I traditionally have. That was mostly because the last few days have been an endless stream of this:

    *checks off the last item on my list*

    *flips the page over to look at the list on the back*

    So, I hopped on later than I usually do. That had some unintended consequences. The sudden presence of Monday was one. Getting a really extended welcome party was another. (By the way, you guys are amazing. You know who you are.)

    However, I still feel obliged to post one of these every once in a while, if for no other reason than to confirm my continued existence and to surprise people with notifications. So, because I have no other content ideas, I want everyone to pretend it’s still March 17th when you read this:

    I would like to pay tribute to all the green-eyed people in the world. Did you know that today none of them need to wear safety glasses to protect themselves?

    That sounds kind of dangerous, Archer.

    Nonsense! They’ll be okay. They’ve got the Luck of the Iris!

    Disclaimer: Always wear the appropriate protective equipment for whatever job you’re doing. My safety advice is all a sham*.


    Boom. Joke, PSA, and existence confirmation all in one post. Good night, everybody! Thanks for your time.  

  14. He prefers toppings like bacon and sausage. Who can blame him? Paparazzi pizza is gross.
  15. Finally! A thread for this. I'll admit it, I'm a fan. Like most people, I was exposed to it at a young age. The music really hooked me. I love that one about the goldfish and the crayons. I know it by heart. That song is, well, it's my whole world. And by extension, so is the furry red muppet who sang it. He's a true inspiration. (In all seriousness, I don't identify as an emo, nor am I particularly fond of the musical genre, but from my perspective, it's an interesting cultural niche with some cool things going for it. Respect to all of you.)