Necessary Eagle

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329 Stormwarden

About Necessary Eagle

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    The King's Witless

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    Well, Sanderson, obviously.

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  1. What if Jasnah had prosthetic arms? Hilarious, brilliant crack.
  2. I assume you mean "couldn't" there, right? Anyway, I don't understand why there's "no reason". "He actively destroyed her body" or for that matter "he passively destroyed her body, because it's just too much Investiture for a mortal to safely handle" fits the evidence just as well. It doesn't need to be true, it just needs to be what people think happened or is happening. And Amaram was himself and relatively sane, or at least claimed to be, but Aesudan was full-on deranged. Imagine someone trying to describe what happened to Aesudan, and imagine the story in its third- or fourth-hand iteration. And Hessi is writing this down centuries after anyone's seen Yelig-nar, when many people don't necessarily believe the Unmade existed.
  3. I don't think Hessi was conversant with Realmatic Theory. I wouldn't assume that "devours souls" means "destroys a person's Spiritual Aspect". Given what we've seen of Y-n so far, it seems quite plausible that Mythica is talking about how he takes over a host and there's less and less of the original person left. And even if he's literally talking about souls as the Cosmere understands them, that doesn't mean he's right. It just means that the Rosharans (or Hessi's scholarly reconstructions thereof) thought he ate souls. We've seen how literal and precise their collective memory is. In short, I don't see any reason to think Hessi is any more of a reliable narrator than the other in-world scholars and authors we've seen. I personally have strong doubts that Spiritual Aspects can be destroyed like that.
  4. They have been forgotten even by the Edgedancers. They have gone unseen by the Truthwatchers. But now they have come out of the shadows to take their rightful place. Edgewaters. Stringers. Towards. Lightsabers. Elsecallefs. Wallpapers. They are the Knights Autocorrect. also, really? Elsecallef? Go home, autocorrect, you drunk
  5. A-gold or F-gold?
  6. Yeah, I'll bet you an emerald broam that there's more to it than we've been told.
  7. Knight Radiants online! Bondsmith: after starting a horrific Tumblr flame war, he comes to deeply regret his past online persona and blogs his resolve to unite instead of divide. To which the trolls say, "Challenge accepted." Elsecaller: "Citation needed." Lightweaver: joins a message board with twelve of her suspiciously similar friends, gets banned for sock puppeting. Dustbringer: joins a message board, gets banned for incessant flaming. Edgedancer: joins a message board, gets a warning for necro'ing threads threads that have been forgotten. Skybreaker: swears an Ideal of Crusade to cleanse the internet of bad grammar, misspellings, and incorrect use of the word 'literally'. Has not been seen since. Stoneward: wins all his online arguments by refusing to back down or change his mind on anything, until his opponents just give up out of frustration. Willshaper: passionately involved in the Homestuck fandom, and has written a 30,000-word AU on, which fortunately does not seem to have been found by the Skybreaker yet. Truthwatcher: plays games on Kongregate all day. Knows the RNG. Is one with the RNG. Is rumored to have compromising photos of the RNG, because no one is that lucky.
  8. The Knight Radiants volunteer at an animal shelter: The Windrunner plays with all the dogs, even the ones that growl or pee on him, so long as they have had their shots. The Skybreaker hovers over the shoulders of potential adopters, making sure they fill out everything on their forms correctly. The Dustbringer reaches through the bars to pet a pretty calico and gets badly scratched. She pulls back her hand, swears for a bit, then gets a glint in her eye and says, "Playing hard to get, are you?" She spends the next several hours trying to befriend the cranky kitty, and leaves the shelter bloodied but triumphant. The Edgedancer remembers an elderly black tom that has been forgotten, and starts a Facebook campaign to find him his forever home. The Truthwatcher uses his visions to match which pets would do best with which people. The Lightweaver picks up the laser pointer, looks at it, grins, puts it down, and says, "I can do better." An hour later, as they're trying to guide a confused kitten out of the airducts, she shrugs apologetically and says, "Okay, maybe I overdid it a little." The Elsecaller sighs and soulcasts a hole big enough to reach in and grab the kitten. The Stoneward is rammed in the crotch at about forty miles an hour by an overly-friendly Great Dane, but he still stands where others would have fallen. The Bondsmith reunites a lost labradoodle with its grateful owners. The Willshaper is seen leaving the premises with suspicious kitten-sized bulges in her pockets.
  9. Lift extends Wyndle's repertoire to include sporks, spoons, chopsticks, and a replica of Dalinar's pork-knife.
  10. Dungeons & Dawnsingers? I can't pass up a good chicken joke, however. EDIT: or Laits & Larkins
  11. Actually I think I feel a fanfic coming on... on the one day I don't have access to my computer. Well, in lieu of actually getting writing done, what do you think edgy\"goth" Alethi teenagers wear? And is there an SA name generator somewhere?
  12. If dungeons&dragons (or chickens&chasmfiends or whatever) existed in Roshar, it would be a women's thing. Because you can do it with one hand and there's lots of writing. Also, it would be considered edgy because of how the dice control what happens. That's close enough to fortune-telling to make that sort of moral guardian Think Of The Children.
  13. Nale is basically Inspector Javert with a magic sword.
  14. Crossover confirmed.
  15. This is like a wannabe ficwriter's dream come true. Hand over those lovely plot bunnies to someone else and watch them do the real work! My most coherent plot-bunnycremling is a post-Oathbringer story, working title: "cracks are what lets the light shine through". POV: an OC Sadeas soldier at the battle of Thaylen City. At this point the Sadeases are pretty much the Slytherin House of Stormlight, so I suspect a redemption arc is coming up. Part one: the story opens in the grip of the turbo-Thrill berserker rage. Red red slide the spear in out forward red red, that sort of thing, I dunno. And then the Thrill is suddenly gone, and POV Dude (let's call him Urb, that seems like a solid darkeyes name) is awake and he's standing in front of Thaylen City and he's covered in blood and guts and wounds and there's a guy he knows impaled on his spear, and he breaks down. He falls to his knees and throws up and freaks the eff out. I think Part One would be about half in Thrill-mode and half angsty aftermath. Part two: Urb deals with his PSTD over the next day or two... badly. He gets wanders around like a zombie and tries to get drunk enough to forget being mindraped by Uber-Nergoual. It doesn't particularly work. Urb doesn't particularly work either. Actually, do the soldiers in Urithiru have day jobs when they're not soldiering? Even if they don't, not showing up for roll call because you're passed out on the floor isn't likely to impress your commanding officer. Part three: Urb is sitting alone in his house, having a think. He's been taught all his life that fighting is the highest Calling, that war equals glory, etc. But he can't stop thinking about the blood, the bodies, the dreadful emptiness that was left when the Thrill went away. Even his memories of previous fights and normal-strength Thrill now feel tainted, sickening. He's starting to have heretical thoughts about preserving lives being more praiseworthy, more right, than taking them away. He struggles for a way to put these new feelings into words, and he finds himself whispering "Life before death..." Maybe this is stupid or maybe it's good or maybe it's part stupid and part good, I dunno. But if anyone wants to use this outline, or bits of it, or constructively criticize it, feel free.