Captains Domon

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Everything posted by Captains Domon

  1. The series is kind of wonky but is incredibly interesting. The concept is pretty well-used. P.S. The best characters in the series are a couple of toothpicks.
  2. It would take a bit too long to write down my mixed feelings so I will just write a brief summary of my thoughts on the ends of certain character arcs. Tyrion Lannister: Peter Dinklage is one of the best actors today so it's really disappointing that they are giving him this material to work with. Since Season 7, they've done some strange things with Tyrion and unfortunately, nothing paid off for me in this season. Tyrion is my favourite character but he is not given much substance in this season. Furthermore, I'm pretty surprised that he suggested Bran. Would not have expected that from him. Cersei and Jaime Lannister: When Cersei first started out, I didn't like her that much. But by Season 3, I felt that they had come to the point where she had become an actually intriguing character. Cersei's arc is completed on a note that I feel is true to her character. Jaime, on the other hand..... yeesh. WHAT A LETDOWN. He had so much going his way but then he's pulled back so he can get back with Cersei. Jaime deserved better, honestly. Daenerys Targaryen: STORMFATHER. WHAT. WERE. THEY. THINKING? The twist for Dany's character does make sense to a degree but the problem is that they never justify her reasons for doing so. This change was so rushed yet so drawn-out that it came out of nowhere. It was too shocking for me and it was thoroughly disappointing. Jon Snow: Besides Cersei, Jon's character arc was the one that I had the least problems with. Part of me really wishes that he claimed the throne. They had built up to something but passed us some salt instead. I actually liked how he was the one who killed Daenerys. BUT STILL. He could have totally claimed it. Why didn't Tyrion suggest him? Any of Daenerys' supporters probably would have just left or been killed or something but I really see no major problems with Jon getting the throne. Sansa Stark: This may just be me but I feel like Sansa has never been given a lot of focus, compared to other arcs. I believe she's a great character and she does get what she wants in the end, but I feel like there's something missing. I really can't put my finger on it. Arya Stark: WHAT A WASTE. What a waste of potential! Arya has such an incredible power yet she never uses it in Season 8. I've really enjoyed Arya's character and I felt like they were turning it up to 11, but then changed their minds and dialled it down. A lot. It was so disappointing. Bran Stark: Ummm. Yup. So that happened. I've never liked Bran. To me, his story was never interesting. They had the chance to do so but never did. I feel like they should have put Bran and Jaime against each other in this season. That would have been entertaining. But they didn't. He just continues to sit in his wheelchair, complaining about his crippling depression. Others: Brienne got knighted which made me happy. I didn't like how the Hound died (or the Mountain for that matter). What they did with Melisandre was pretty weird. And I wish Davos had done something awesome. Feel free to disagree.
  3. They could do that and just say that Snoke was a malformed clone or something
  4. I love the fact that Ian McDiarmid is returning as the Emperor. If they do this correctly, they can fix almost all the plot problems in The Force Awakens and to a lesser degree, The Last Jedi. There's a story in Star Wars Legends where Palpatine is revealed to have survived by possessing bodies with his spirit until he finally decays. If JJ canonizes this, he could explain why Snoke exists. And how Starkiller Base was built. And how the First Order exists. Let's say Palpatine ordered the construction of not just the first two Death Stars, but Starkiller Base in the prequel trilogy. After his death, his spirit just possesses another body, Snoke. Snoke/Palpatine would then oversee the finishing constructions on Starkiller Base as well as gather the remaining Empire forces to create the First Order. I really hope this is the case. (Also LANDO HYPE)
  5. Mine is Winter Soldier, but here's my overall ranking! 21. Thor: The Dark World 20. Iron Man 2 19. Avengers: Age of Ultron 18. Ant-Man and the Wasp 17. Iron Man 3 16. Captain Marvel 15. Doctor Strange 14. Thor 13. The Incredible Hulk 12. Captain America: The First Avenger 11. Spider-Man: Homecoming 10. Ant-Man 9. Black Panther 8. The Avengers 7. Guardians of the Galaxy 6. Captain America: Civil War 5. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 4. Avengers: Infinity War 3. Thor: Ragnarok 2. Iron Man 1. Captain America: The Winter Soldier
  6. Another thought about Captain Marvel: The release of this movie seems ill-timed. Not from a commercial standpoint, but from a storytelling standpoint. You see, if Captain Marvel had been released in Phase One or Phase Two, with no other mention of her, we would have been aware that A. the Avengers Initiative was named after her and B. her character was out there. Everyone would have been asking, "Where's Captain Marvel? When is she coming back?", creating anticipation for her return. This makes the logo reveal on Fury's pager more satisfying because it confirms she is coming back. However, Captain Marvel has been released only several weeks ahead of Avengers: Endgame which makes her inclusion seem more forced. It doesn't help that her movie seemed to push the message that she is one of the most powerful characters in the MCU. I understand that they need the character, but it seems too quick and too soon before Endgame to do so. They should have released this film much earlier so that A. there is an age difference in her appearance, B. it wouldn't seem so rushed and C. there is anticipation for her appearance in Endgame. The empty performance we got from Brie Larson doesn't raise any hopes either. Hopefully, she's better in Endgame.
  7. Answers in order: Ant-Man, The Dark Knight, Unbreakable, WarGames, Dirty Harry and Taxi Driver
  8. So I just saw Captain Marvel. Eehhhh. It was fine. I don't think it was great. First off, I don't think Brie Larson pulls off the character of Carol Danvers. None of the trailers really impressed me, and one line, in particular, made me roll my eyes. "I'm not going to fight your war. I'm gonna end it." It just sounded so dumb and I couldn't take it seriously at all. Did I have fun watching the movie? Yeah. Is it the best Marvel movie? No. The writing for Carol Danvers is pretty weak and I got the feeling that she was only presented as a really powerful character to be set up for Endgame. Larson's performance felt... empty. Knowing that the Skrulls were in it, I thought I knew exactly how Fury lost his eye. The movie proved me wrong, kind of. It was kind of funny, but also underwhelming. I liked the cat though. Goose was pretty awesome. Overall, I have to disagree with Pagliacci and say that I enjoyed Aquaman much more than Captain Marvel. It's not terrible, just average.
  9. In this topic, you can vent your feelings about any movie, tv show, actor, etc. I tried this in a topic in @Quiver's Spider-Man: Homecoming and worked pretty well. (I got a downvote.) Here, you can vent your feelings and I'll make a rule. Don't give people downvotes. It is their honest opinion and if they hate something in a movie you people like, you can counteract their claim with whatever you come up with. This is officially the Entertainment Discussion debate topic. It'll basically be a negative review. Let's begin with one of the worst superhero movies ever. X-Men Origins: Wolverine. I have a lot of problems with this movie. First and foremost, DEADPOOL!! 20TH CENTURY FOX, WHAT THE $%#@ WERE YOU THINKING???!!! DEADPOOL HAS NONE OF THE POWERS SHOWN IN THAT STUPID MOVIE!! SHOOTING LASERS?? KATANAS IN HIS ARMS?? GETTING CONTROLLED BY A COMPUTER?? FREAKING HAVING HIS MOUTH STITCHED UP???!! There is a reason Deadpool is called the Merc with a Mouth, and looking like a cheesy knockoff of Slender Man isn't it! Second, Gambit. I'm not saying he wasn't good, it's just that he's barely in it. He's one of the best parts of the movie, but his screen time is way too short. Thirdly, the CGI. All of the CGI is poorly done in this film, especially Wolverine's claws, the fake Patrick Stewart, and that part when Logan is chopping up the ladder. Fourthly, Agent Zero. Out of all the terrible characters in this film, he was the cheesiest and the most annoying and I'm glad he died. Finally, the continuity issues. In future films, they manage to fix errors pretty well. But there are two major ones not fixed. One, STUPID STRYKER. The guy who played him was a terrible actor to begin with, but in Days of Future Past, he looks younger and it's a little confusing, because Logan hasn't changed the timeline yet. Second, if Logan and Sabretooth fought in the Vietnam War, and were sentenced to death, what happened to Sabretooth? Stryker apparently doesn't find them, but Logan is shown in the U.S. later, in 1973. Sabretooth's fate in the X-Men Universe is left unexplained, which is disappointing, because I thought he was good. (They announced he might appear in Logan which would've been amazing but he never did.) Anybody is welcome to respond to me but please. This is an opinion, so either read and leave it or debate it. Have at it.
  10. A little defence against my boi Jean-Claude, I do like Hard Target and Timecop, but yeah the rest of his movies are pretty unbearable.
  11. Things that Made Me Happy About the Oscars: Spike Lee winning his first competitive Oscar and Samuel L. Jackson's enthusiasm in announcing and awarding him. Olivia Colman's acceptance speech for winning Best Actress. Rami Malek's win and acceptance speech. Guillermo del Toro presenting Best Director to his close friend, Alfonso Cuaron. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse winning Best Animated Feature. First Man winning Best Visual Effects. Mirai being nominated for Best Animated Feature. No cringy host this year. Thank all things holy. Things that Made Me Angry (or Cringe) About the Oscars: Bohemian Rhapsody winning all the Editing awards. The fact that Mission: Impossible-Fallout was not nominated for anything. Maya Rudolph, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler presenting Best Supporting Actress. Black Panther winning Best Original Score. The Favourite only won 1 Oscar out of the ten nominations it received. Won't You Be My Neighbor? was snubbed by the Academy for Best Documentary. Black Panther winning 3 Oscars. Bohemian Rhapsody led the ceremony with 4 Oscars. (What??) Serena Williams presenting A Star Is Born.
  12. Sounds like you need a reboot. If you'd like any suggestions of anime that might cleanse your palette. just say the word. Happy to help. Quick thought on The Girl Who Leapt Through Time: It's a great film, but I do think the pacing could be better. And the ending could be a little more satisfying.
  13. Some Brandon characters described by anime themes: Kelsier: Battlecry by Nujabes from Samurai Champloo Szeth-son-son-Vallano: Debilman no Uta by kensuke ushio from Devilman Crybaby Stephen Leeds/Legion: A Cruel Angel's Thesis by Yoko Takahashi from Neon Genesis Evangelion Wayne: Tank! by Yoko Kanno from Cowboy Bebop Waxillium Ladrian: Rain by Yoko Kanno from Cowboy Bebop Vivenna: Styx Helix by Myth & Roid from Re:Zero Bridge Four: Guren no Yumiya by Linked Horizon from Attack on Titan Vasher and Nightblood: the WORLD by Nightmare from Death Note Hoid: Space Lion by Yoko Kanno from Cowboy Bebop
  14. What's the meaning of life? Whose pyjamas are these? Why so serious? I heard Master Yoda talking about midi-chlorians, and I was just wondering, what are midi-chlorians? How many days in your life have you been sick? Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper? Shall we play a game? You've gotta ask yourself a question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well do ya, punk? You talkin' to me? Who ya gonna call? Who's on first? Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes? (Bonus: If you can determine what movies these questions are from, you have our eternal respect)
  15. So Brandon mentioned you in his acknowledgements for Skyward. I can't remember it off the top of my head, but you were a beta reader and advised him about some physics...if that's correct. That's really cool. Are you doing the same for Starsight?
  16. Glass is the newest film by M. Night Shyamalan and is nearly twenty years in the making. This is a movie that I have been looking forward to for a long time. I think Unbreakable is one of the best films ever, and Split was awesome, albeit a bit disturbing. The third entry in this trilogy combines both casts of the films, except for Robin Wright, because she's way too expensive these days (or she just said no). To see Bruce Willis return is great and is made even better because he is actually acting. Samuel L. Jackson doesn't much except sit there for the first hour or so, but once the plot kicks into gear, he's awesome. And of course, James McAvoy just blows it through the roof as "The Horde". In Glass, he plays 21 of his 24 personalities and adds enough to set them apart as different characters. Spencer Treat Clark and Charlayne Woodard return from Unbreakable, and Anya Taylor-Joy returns from Split. They all give great performances, but especially Spencer Treat Clark. His arc in the movie is really good. Do not believe the Rotten Tomatoes percentage for this movie. I encourage everyone to decide for themselves. I really enjoyed the movie, until an event in the third act. After that, it sort of fell apart for me. But overall, I highly recommend you see this movie because it is really good until what happens. SPOILERS:
  17. From what I understand, Series 5 is split into 4 parts, with each part featuring an encounter with a Master. So she's not facing all of them at once. (I would like River Song to confront the Valeyard, personally)
  18. I recommend Violet Evergarden, a beautiful anime on Netflix. It takes its time, but it is a great sci-fi-ish anime. Another one is A Place Further than the Universe. This one is more of a slice-of-life, but it's so charming. Action-wise, I recommend Megalobox, which is awesome. (Note: All of these came out in 2018)
  19. Alright, so the Academy announced the Oscar nominations... let's just say I'm a little annoyed. This post will be going through the major categories and some of the other film ones, like Best Documentary. Another post shall cover my thoughts on the production ones. But first, let's get started with Best Picture! Best Picture: Black Panther, BlacKkKlansman, Bohemian Rhapsody, The Favourite, Green Book, Roma, A Star Is Born, and Vice First off, I must question why Black Panther was nominated. I know that it was a massive hit everywhere, audience and critics, but....there are some major storytelling flaws, and some of the CGI is terrible. I'm not trying to sound racist, but the main reason Black Panther was such a huge hit was because of the African-American cast. I mean, Crazy Rich Asians was the first mainstream film to have a prominent Asian-American cast, but did it get recognized? No. Black Panther is a good movie, but is it that good? Eeeehhh, not really. I still really like it, but it has some flaws that I cannot forgive. I have to applaud the Academy this year, because they actually have films this year that everyone went and saw, films that were successful both critically and commercially. This includes the aforementioned Black Panther, Bohemian Rhapsody and Green Book. I hope that this lets the Academy realize not everybody likes arthouse films. Should Have Been Nominated: If Beale Street Could Talk Will Win: Roma or A Star Is Born Should Win: The Favourite Best Director: Spike Lee for BlacKkKlansman, Pawel Pawlikowski for Cold War, Yorgos Lanthimos for The Favourite, Alfonso Cuaron for Roma and Adam McKay for Vice I don't really have any problems here, though there are some directors missing when people thought they would surely get a nod. Should Have Been Nominated: Damien Chazelle for First Man, Peter Farrelly for Green Book and Bradley Cooper for A Star Is Born Will Win: Alfonso Cuaron for Roma Should Win: Spike Lee for BlacKkKlansman Best Actor: Christian Bale for Vice, Bradley Cooper for A Star Is Born, Willem Dafoe for At Eternity's Gate, Rami Malek for Bohemian Rhapsody and Viggo Mortensen for Green Book This is one of the categories where I honestly don't who will win. I would be fine with anyone winning in this one. Should Have Been Nominated: Ethan Hawke for First Reformed, Robert Redford for The Old Man & the Gun and Nicolas Cage for Mandy Will Win: Rami Malek for Bohemian Rhapsody or Viggo Mortensen for Green Book Should Win: Willem Dafoe for At Eternity's Gate Best Actress: Yalitza Aparicio for Roma, Glenn Close for The Wife, Olivia Colman for The Favourite, Lady Gaga for A Star Is Born, and Melissa McCarthy for Can You Ever Forgive Me? I think everyone thought Lady Gaga was going to win all across the board, but then Glenn Close snuck up at the Golden Globes and snatched it away. So now, I'm kind of wondering who will win this. Should Have Been Nominated: Toni Collette for Hereditary Will Win: Glenn Close for The Wife or Lady Gaga for A Star Is Born Should Win: Olivia Colman for The Favourite or Melissa McCarthy for Can You Ever Forgive Me? Best Supporting Actor: Mahershala Ali for Green Book, Adam Driver for BlacKkKlansman, Sam Elliott for A Star Is Born, Richard E. Grant for Can You Ever Forgive Me? and Sam Rockwell for Vice Nothing to say here. Should Have Been Nominated: Timothee Chalamet for Beautiful Boy, Steve Carell for Vice and Michael B. Jordan for Black Panther Will Win: Mahershala Ali for Green Book Should Win: Sam Elliott for A Star Is Born or Richard E. Grant for Can You Ever Forgive Me? Best Supporting Actress: Amy Adams for Vice, Marina de Tavira for Roma, Regina King for If Beale Street Could Talk, Emma Stone for The Favourite and Rachel Weisz for The Favourite Having two actresses from The Favourite is an unfair advantage, but they should have found a way to put them together and give them one reward for their performances, because neither one works without the other. Should Have Been Nominated: Cynthia Erivo for Bad Times at the El Royale Will Win: Regina King for If Beale Street Could Talk Should Win: Regina King for If Beale Street Could Talk I'm going to skip over the screenplay awards, but I am really happy that The Ballad of Buster Scruggs got nominated for Best Adapted Screenplay. It's a really fun movie, and it's on Netflix. Go check it out. Best Animated Feature Film: Incredibles 2, Isle of Dogs, Mirai, Ralph Breaks the Internet and Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse Hopefully, you all know what's going to win, and I totally agree with it. (Hopefully, the Academy doesn't screw up) However, I'm really glad that the Academy and the Globes nominated Mirai, directed by Mamoru Hosoda, one of the best directors working in anime today. This gives me hope that the Academy will acknowledge great anime films besides Studio Ghibli, because there are a lot of films that could have been recognized that weren't. Mirai does not have the chance of winning this year, but hopefully anime will have its chance to make a mark in the Academy. Should Have Been Nominated: The Night Is Short, Walk On Girl Will Win: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse Should Win: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse Best Foreign Language Film: Capernaum (Lebanon), Cold War (Poland), Never Look Away (Germany), Roma (Mexico) and Shoplifters (Japan) If Roma wins Best Picture, they should give this award to a different film. But if not, Roma will probably win this one. Should Have Been Nominated: Burning (South Korea) Will Win: Roma (Mexico) Should Win: Cold War (Poland) or Never Look Away (Germany) Best Documentary-Feature: Free Solo, Hale County This Morning, Minding the Gap, Of Fathers and Sons and RBG Okay, I'm really mad about this, because the Academy snubbed the biggest documentary of the year, and the only one that people bothered to go see, and to top it off, was FREAKING AMAZING. This is why the Oscars annoy me so much. Should Have Been Nominated: Won't You Be My Neighbor? Will Win: Free Solo Should Win: RBG or Minding the Gap That's it for now. Production awards will be coming soon.
  20. My Top 10 films of 2018: Honorable Mentions: Bohemian Rhapsody, Isle of Dogs, Roma, The Other Side of the Wind 10. Green Book 9. Paddington 2 8. Avengers: Infinity War 7. The Favourite 6. Aquaman 5. Won't You Be My Neighbor? 4. Creed II 3. First Man 2. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse 1. Mission: Impossible-Fallout
  21. Aquaman is the newest movie in the DC Universe, and it is by far my favorite DC movie. I had a blast with this movie. It has great action and amazing visual effects, the best in any DC movie so far. I'm actually really mad at the Academy Awards right now, because they put Black Panther on the shortlist for Best Visual Effects but not Aquaman! Which is a sin. Jason Momoa is awesome as Aquaman. He enjoys every moment on the camera. My man Willem Dafoe is in the movie too, though he is subject to the movie's only bad effects, that being de-aging his face. (Why'd they do that??) The script has some issues, it really hams up the cheesiness, but that is exactly what they're going for. This movie is going to really cheesy to some people, but just know that it's the filmmakers' intention. There's also a romance between the two leads that feels so forced, that I just laughed whenever they brought it up. Aquaman may not be the best DC film, but it is definitely my favorite one. Go watch it. It's worth it.
  22. I'm still working on my reviews for A Certain Magical Index. To stew everyone over before they come, here's my opinion on the acclaimed anime Neon Genesis Evangelion. (Warning: SPOILERS) Neon Genesis Evangelion is notable for being a deconstruction of the mecha genre, and for its Christian imagery. Also, as a plus, it has incredible three-dimensional characters. My favorite aspect of this show is that while the mechas, or Evas, are a big part of the story and the action, the main focus is on the characters. In particular is the main protagonist, Shinji Ikari. Shinji is a straight-up coward, which at some points, really bothered me. I would sometimes growl in frustration at his reluctance to fight, or his generally wimpy manner when trying to reconnect with people, particularly his father, Gendo. (Gendo, by the way, is one of the worst dads ever.) Shinji's arc comes to a head at the series finale. (Which we will talk about momentarily.) I also really liked how the show developed every character, even the side ones that we don't really care about. Some characters, like Shinji's classmates, just disappear near the end, but their arcs are pretty much completed before then. My favorite side characters included Rei Ayanami, Asuka Langley Sohryu and Gendo Ikari. The animation is really good for a nineties anime. Besides Cowboy Bebop, this probably has the best animation from the nineties era of anime. The music is alright, but the opening theme is iconic. A Cruel Angel's Thesis is one of the best. Go listen to it. Alright, the ending. Oh boy, the ending. There are two endings to the show. One is the series finale, and one is the film The End of Evangelion. The series finale opts to focus on Shinji as a character. It breaks down his psyche and really pounds him down. But it comes to an emotional peak, and ends his character in a very satisfying way. However, this finale does not answer any of our questions. It doesn't reveal what SEELE's motives are, or what exactly Rei is, or Asuka's fate. This made fans of the show extremely angry. Hideaki Anno, the creator, received death threats. And so The End of Evangelion was made. This is the actual conclusion to the series, physically showing what happens, while the series finale is the emotional end. The End of Evangelion is both satisfying and confusing. It answers a lot of questions, such as SEELE's motives, Rei, and why the heck Eva-01 is super important. It also gives a great revelation of why Gendo was a terrible father to Shinji. Also, it has one of the best action sequences of Evangelion, that being Asuka beating the trash out of the new Eva models with Eva-02. However, the actual conclusion did not satisfy me as much as the series finale. I really like the emotional end to Shinji's character, but The End of Evangelion left me empty inside. It answers the questions, but fails to be emotionally satisfying. Despite the controversial ending, I highly recommend this show. If you read this entirely and haven't seen it, then I apologize. I just dropped some major spoilers. But watch anyways. It's worth it. (Mostly)
  23. Favorite Movie: Mission: Impossible-Fallout or Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse Favorite Book: Skyward Favorite Game: Spider-Man PS4 Favorite Hero: Adonis Creed in Creed II Favorite Villain: Killmonger, of course Favorite Music: The Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse soundtrack, both of them
  24. I think it's time we blow this thing. Get everybody and the stuff together. Ok, 3, 2, 1, let's jam! Cowboy Bebop is one of the greatest things I have ever seen. For those who aren't knowledgeable about anime, the premise is quite simple. A group of bounty hunters wander the solar system in the year 2071, looking for possible bounties on a ship they call the Bebop. But the end result is a whopper, hitting you from all sides with all kinds of emotions. And it is great. While the show has four main characters, there really is only one main protagonist. That is Spike Spiegel, who is a great character. He is modeled after many different people, including Bruce Lee. You can compare a lot of people to Spike, such as Star-Lord. But the thing that makes him so intriguing is his past, which is slowly revealed to us through beautifully animated flashbacks done in noir style. You receive more and more information about him, and the character in the present becomes more entertaining. He is also very laid back, and has a lack of sympathy for others. Sometimes he comes off as insensitive, but it's always played for comedy. The other three are great characters as well. Even though the main focus is Spike, the others should not be ignored. The first is Jet Black, who actually is in charge. While Spike is the main focus, Jet takes care of the ship, cooks, finds new bounties and trims his bonsai. He's basically the mom. But he's also an ex-cop with a metal arm and a short temper. We do get to see more of Jet as the series plays out, and all great series develop all their characters. Then there is Faye Valentine, a no-nonsense, gambling con artist. She has a great dynamic with Spike and Jet. The scenes in which she clashes with them are among the best. She is very cynical on the outside, but the show has a way of peeling off the layers and revealing what she really is. Faye's story arc is very powerful in that it teaches us to look back and find ourselves. But this turns out to be quite difficult for Faye. Lastly, there's Edward. Her full name is Edward Wong Hau Pepelu Tivrusky IV. (She made it up herself.) She represents the goofy side of the show. There never really is a scene where she is actually serious. (Except once, but that's a spoiler.) While she is goofy, she never bogs down the ride. She is never annoying. In fact, Ed nearly is adorable. While Edward is meant to be taken lightly, her intelligence is quite sharp, because she's a computer hacker. Then there's Ein, a Welsh Corgi with near-human intelligence. He's usually just there, but the show does give him moments to shine. All of these characters (except Ein) represent the overall themes of Cowboy Bebop, which is loneliness and the difficulty of escaping the past. It's very sobering to think about, because the show is usually a lot of fun. However, it is a very thoughtful way of doing so. Another thing I must mention is the music, composed by Yoko Kanno. This woman is a genius. I never thought jazz would fit into the space genre, or any genre besides.....I don't know, jazz, but it really works here. If you click the link above, you can get a small taste of this great music. There are no bad episodes of Cowboy Bebop, but there are some that feel less important, or feel like fluff, especially in the last half of the series. The first half has some of my favorite episodes, and while the second half is good, it does dwindle slightly. Some of my favorite episodes include: Ballad of Fallen Angels Sympathy for the Devil Gateway Shuffle Black Dog Serenade Pierrot le Fou If you have not seen Cowboy Bebop, please do. It is worth your time, and if you aren't an anime person, it still is a great way to get into it. I highly suggest the English dub, which is actually better than the original Japanese. While the original is good, the English dub really captures the essence of who and what the characters are. Go watch Cowboy Bebop. If you don't, well, you're gonna carry that weight.
  25. Here's a humorous story I wrote a while back. It's pretty fun. The Uses of an Epiphany It has become clear to me that life can’t get much worse when you’re an Language Arts schoolteacher. Children always have questions. They have terrible grammar. Parents are always calling. My boss comes in to watch. “Mr. Moffat, please explain to me what a gerund is for the billionth time.” “Mr. Moffat, I’ve brung the presentation!” “Mr. Moffat, my kid came home crying! What the hell are you teaching in there??” “Mr. Moffat, I think that you could be doing a little more of this certain subject to help your students in the learning environment.” Everyone should just shut up. I mean it. I am sick and tired of all these kids asking me how subordinate clauses are used. They are in the eighth grade!! They should know already! *Sigh* Forgive me. I’ve had a hard time. Every teacher does, but for a subject like Language Arts, they expect you to know everything about it or none at all. Unfortunately for me, people have chosen the latter. And let me tell you, my financial situation right now is the only thing that is stopping me from walking. But that changed. Let me tell you how. My name is Eric Moffat. I’m a middle-aged, thirty-two year old man. I’m a bachelor living in a five room apartment with only my cat, Douglas Adams, to keep me company. Please do not judge me. I would like the idea of getting married. Really, I would. But something just stops me. I don’t know what. Don’t get me wrong. The perfect person lives right across the hall. Her name is Charity Freeman, and she’s twenty-nine. She’s dated a lot of weirdos over the two years I’ve been here, but she appreciates literature just as much as I do. She has a goldfish named Mark Twain, for Pete’s sake. Mrs. Duncan, the landlady, doesn’t help. She’s always trying to set us up. Every time I’m invited for dinner, I just say I have a hangover or something, because I know it’s just a plot. Have I gone on a date with Charity? Yeah. Once. We showed up at a decent restaurant and it so happens that one of my students was there. It happened to be the one who thought they knew everything about Language Arts. She saw me and immediately started pestering me. Did the parents bother doing anything? No. It was almost as if they wanted to see me suffer. Goodness. If parents like to watch teachers suffer, then you should see the damnation kids. Kids are always drawing pictures of their teacher on the noose, or getting run over or something messed up. Those are the kids who usually get sent to the local penitentiary. Which means most of them. Anyway, I ended up leaving early, making an excuse that my aunt was giving birth. (She was due but not at that moment. That ended up being in the middle of the same night.) And the next day, I gave that student an F on their quiz. She had failed, and I just relish the fact of writing “FAIL” in large letters on the paper of a student I despise. But today started out like any normal day. I woke up, took a shower, and gave Douglas some breakfast. I cut myself shaving, which didn’t help my sour mood, and I was out of milk. Now I had to go to the store. I exited my apartment, only to run into Charity. “Oh!” she exclaimed. “Hi, Eric!” “Hullo.” I replied. “Did you have a nice sleep?” she asked. “Yeah.” I lied. “You excited to teach today?” “Yeah.” Another lie. “Ready to face new challenges?” she asked. She is really good at rapid-fire questions. “Yeah.” Not only was I good at lying, I was a master at one word answers. “Well, have a great day!” I didn’t even answer. I grunted noncommittally. Smooth. I trudged down the stairs. Charity was so lucky. She had a job that let her work at home. She didn’t have to tolerate the little swine that walked through school. Oh, did I say swine? I meant communists. I left the building, careful to avoid Mrs. Duncan. The last thing I needed was an invitation to teatime. I approached my car. I climbed in, started it, and drove over to the market. ***** After getting my milk, I had a slightly rushed breakfast. Then I combed my hair, grabbed a tie, and drove to the school. The school where I teach is not a public one, it’s a private one, which makes it worse. That means I have to teach the spoiled brats whose only future is Parliament or the inside of a prison cell. Probably both. I parked in the faculty area, then entered the building. I checked in, and went to the lounge. I’m usually one of the first ones there, but since I had to get milk, I was late. David MacBrewer, the Algebra teacher, came over. “Eric! You’re late!” He smiled, patting me on the shoulder. I couldn't help but smile back. Dave is just one of those optimists who are great at cheering up despondent companions. “I ran out of milk,” I replied. “Had to grab some.” I walked over to the coffee maker and poured some in. I took a swig, and immediately choked. “Whose ******* idea was it to put decaf in here!?” I spluttered. David laughed. “Language, my friend,” he said happily. “You work at a children’s school, you know.” I scowled at him, then threw the cup of coffee in the trash. If there’s something worse than annoying students, it’s decaffeinated coffee. To make things worse, the headmaster, Ms. Brown came over. That woman is a viper. It is no wonder she’s single. “Mr. Moffat,” she said. “It’s come to my attention that you have been harsh to your students.” I raised an eyebrow. “In what way?” I inquired. “A parent complained that you were yelling at his son for-” “Sticking a pen in the pencil sharpener?” I finished. “He had it coming. The boy’s been taunting me for days, sticking the pen in there like it’s some big joke.” “I don’t think that is a good reason to yell at a student.” Ms. Brown interjected indignantly. “Yeah, well, yesterday he actually started cranking the handle! Those sharpeners don’t come cheap and sticking a pen down the gullet is definitely going to do something.” As I spoke, an edge of sarcasm creeped into my voice. Unfortunately, Brown picked up on it. “Be serious about this, Eric,” she snapped. “Do you want to lose your job?” I raised both eyebrows at this. “That was uncalled for,” I said calmly. “I will reprimand my students the way I see fit.” David, who was standing behind Brown now, shook his head violently. He pointed at Brown, mouthing the words, “She’s mad today.” Brown’s nostrils flared. “Mr. Moffat, if an incident like this happens again, I cannot stand by.” “You won’t have to,” I replied. “If my students continue to treat me with disrespect, I will leave.” I turned away and exited the lounge, heading toward my classroom. The clatter of footsteps followed me, and David was at my side. “What in the name of George are you thinking?” he cried. “You should’ve seen her face! She’s furious!” I continued to stride down the hall. I was angry. I was tired. I was sick of everything. I was-. I stopped in the middle of the hall. It had hit me. “Eric?” David asked. “What’s wrong?” “Dave,” I said. “I’ve had an epiphany.” David’s eyebrows knit together. “A what??” “An epiphany,” I repeated. “A moment of sudden revelation.” I faced the wall, which had one of those stupid anti-bullying posters on the wall. “I’m going to get out of here.” ***** If there is one class of students I like, it is my second hour. Most of the kids in there take reading and writing seriously. The minority who don’t just don’t. They’re not troublemakers. I have five hours straight full of students. The first hour and lunch are my only preparations. But today, I decided to do something different in my classes. And that started with my second hour. “Class,” I announced. “We are having an oral quiz!” A large groan went through the class. I expected this. No student likes a surprise quiz. Everyone began to put away their things. I stood in front of the classroom. I smiled. I would miss this class. ***** Now the class I was waiting for was fourth hour. It was perfectly obvious to me that this was the worst class. It was chock full to the brim with future criminals. For example, Terry Harcourt. He was suspended for two weeks for having cigarettes in his locker. Eleanor was a shoplifter. Jennifer, it was rumored, had set fire to the chemistry lab. And Joseph. That little sh-. Nope. Sorry. I almost forgot that other people will read this. But a message to Joseph, if he ever comes across this. If you ever figure out your life, I’ll be very surprised. Were all the students in my fourth hour bad? No. There were three girls and a boy that I was quite impressed with. Other than that, the students were actual demons of hell. Anyway, the reaction I received for the quiz was exactly as I expected. A large chorus of yells of outrage and protest. “Oh, come on!” yelled Terry. “We had one two weeks ago!” I cocked my head. “Yes, you did,” I noted, sounding slightly amused. “But that was two weeks ago.” I held Terry’s vicious stare, counterattacking with my own. Students began to grumble and put away their books. Well, almost all of them. Lisa, who sat in the back, did not put away her book. She thought that if she left it on her desk, covered by a jacket, I wouldn’t see it. She was wrong. I came over. “Well,” I said, lifting the jacket. “I never saw you as one to cheat. But then again, you missed no questions last quiz.” I picked up the book and set it on my desk. “You may retrieve this when we are done.” I brought the book over to my desk, and dropped it unceremoniously onto the surface. It made a loud sound, and everyone jumped. I walked up to the front of the classroom. “This quiz is oral,” I proclaimed. “Each student is required to answer two questions each, and if you fail to do so, I will deduct your grade.” Another large protest ensued, until I smacked the wall so hard, my meter stick broke in half. The room fell silent. I looked at the half I still held and smiled widely. “That hasn’t worked before,” I noted. “Let’s get this quiz started.” But then Joseph unwisely opened his big mouth. “Well, stop blabbing, Mr. Moffat,” he drawled. “Let’s get on with this stupid quiz.” I raised an eyebrow. It was time to set the second phase of my epiphany into motion. “Another comment like that, Joey,” I said. “And you’ll be seeing Ms. Brown.” That was it. I was at the point of no return. Either Joseph took the bait, or I’d have to get someone else to snatch up. But luckily for me, that wasn’t the case. Joseph hated being called Joey. I had seen three kids beat up because of the dreadful mistake of calling him Joey. Joseph tilted his head, facing me. His cheeks were the slightest tinge of red. “What did you call me?” “It’s not a concern of what I call you, Joey,” I said, allowing contempt to creep into my voice. “Your concern should be how well you do in this class.” Joseph looked even more angry, most likely because I called him Joey. It was like how that Marty McFly kid got triggered because some dork called him chicken. Then, Joseph made the worst decision ever. He stood up, walked to me, and laid both hands on my collar. “Don’t call me Joey,” he growled. “Mr. Moffat.” he added with a sneer. I stared right into his eyes. Then I tore his grip from my collar. I walked over to my desk and pulled out a detention slip. “Manhandling a teacher, Joey,” I noted. “I doubt that’s a first, but everyone’s gotta start somewhere.” I handed him the slip. “Go see Ms. Brown. Right now.” I opened the door with a flourish, like that smarmy doorman in front of a Hilton. I gestured down the hall. “Right this way.” Joseph left, glaring at me as he did. I beamed and waved at him. But he wasn’t the only one that class. In my third hour, I had sent a total of two to Ms. Brown. For fourth, well, let’s see, I have thirty-four in that class, so……..take the number of Doctors and double that. I am not even joshing this time. I sent almost everyone in that class to Ms. Brown. All except the four good students. Fifth hour was also productive. I sent eighteen of that class to her. It would do Ms. Brown a lot of work to do, instead of drinking decaf and looking up photos of Rupert Grint. (Seriously, that’s what she does. Don’t ask.) At the end of the day, Patricia the secretary called me. “Eric,” she said, almost a whisper. “Is there anything wrong? You’ve sent almost every student of yours to the office!” “Oh, no, everything’s fine, Patricia,” I chuckled. “I expect Brown wants to see me?” Patricia confirmed this, and I practically skipped out the door and down the hall. I got many looks from fellow colleagues, but at this point, I didn’t care. Wasn’t like I’d see them again. Except David. I entered Brown’s office with a grin from ear to ear. “Hello there!” I said. “You wanted to see me?” Brown looked in no mood to play, which she rarely does. (Except for the time Rupert Grint visited the school.) Tight-lipped, she gestured to the seat in front of her. “Please take a seat, Eric.” she said. I did so, bouncing on the cushions. She leaned forward, and began to berate me in a fierce undertone. “What the hell is wrong with you, Eric?” she hissed. “You’ve sent every damned student to me and I don’t appreciate it. Do you realize how many calls I’ll get?” I had vaguely contemplated the fact that Brown would take the beating, but I honestly didn’t care much. What was that quote from that one movie? Oh, yeah. “Better her than me!” -Han Solo I shrugged nonchalantly, and tried to look neutral. “My students are very rebellious.” I said, as it should’ve been obvious. (Which it is.) Brown slammed a fist on the table. “I don’t care about the students,” she scowled. “I care about your performance as a teacher in the learning environment. You’ve been slacking off for the past few months. I could have you fired.” I pursed my lips. “You won’t need to,” I replied. “I quit. I’m getting out of this hellhole.” I stood up and left, not even waiting for a response. It was then that I entered the zone. Any external sounds were extinguished. I could hear faint yelling, probably Brown, but I took no heed. I exited the building for the last time. I started the car and began to drive home. I turned on the radio. It was playing Queen’s “Don’t Stop Me Now”. How fitting. My epiphany had consisted of basically two parts. One: get fired and/or quit. Two: Well, I was doing that right now. The half hour it usually takes to get to my apartment felt like seconds. Like the Flash, I was out of my car and entering the complex. I ran into Mrs. Duncan. “Why, hello, Eric,” she greeted. “Could I interest you in-” “No thank you, Mrs. Duncan,” I interrupted. “I’m already on that.” I squeezed past her and took the stairs three at a time. I found myself in front of the door of Charity Freeman. I paused momentarily to catch my breath, then knocked. Charity, beautiful as ever, opened the door. She looked genuinely surprised. “Eric?” she asked. “What are you doing back early?” “I was just wondering,” I blurted. “If you’d like to come to dinner with me tonight.” To my great disbelief and pleasure, she blushed a deep red. “I’d love to,” she said. “But Eric, why so….abrupt?” I slowly grinned and smiled. “Well, let’s just call it the uses of an epiphany.”