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About industrialistDragon

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  1. with a primer on singular they: It’s OK To Use “They” To Describe One Person: Here’s Why
  2. Everything is mostly cleaned and I finger-fitted the parts into what I think is the right order. I still haven't had time to look at the detailed walkthroughs or the pages listing the recommended mods (i'm not entirely certain about some of those joints). There's no way I'm going to be able to actually press these parts together with just my fingers, so now I need to find something to wrap my pliers in so I can safely use them...
  3. So I've been thinking about this a bit and I think maybe it's the accretion that's sabotaging these most recent chapters, rather than the chapters themselves. Like, there's been so much back-and-forth in the timeline that even a little more seems like too much; or like, there's been so much travel that even necessary bits feel like overkill. If that makes sense? There're also genre expectations that I think are not really being addressed, maybe. We're in chapter 14 of this murder mystery and we haven't even seen the body yet, and that usually happens first, to set the story in motion. I'm sort of starting to get exhausted, because it feels like I'm still waiting for things to happen, or for the reason why they won't happen to be addressed. Taken on its own, there's not a lot of issues with this chapter. It could be tightened and trimmed a little in places, like any draft, but it moves the plot, it provides tension, it's perfectly fine. Taken with the rest, though, and it's more oddly disjointed inaction from Q&M. I'm just so tired of watching them eat and drive and make phone calls while everyone from the cops to the newspeople to random dudes who die in plane crashes do a better job of investigating than our main protagonists, the professional investigators... As i go: "yet" is used 3 times in the first 4 sentences of the first paragraph. This is more musings from Q, but they are striking me better than last chapter's. I think maybe because they're at least new information, and more in-character for him. Last chapter the introspection felt off and treading water-ish. These don't so much. I feel like this newscast could be cut down a lot. I'm not sure why the local politics matter yet (or if they do at all) and I skimmed them until I got to the attack. I am sort of unclear what new information I-as-a-reader get out of this, but I'm super happy Q and M are FINALLY catching up to what I know. I think, maybe, I wouldn't mind Q and M being so far behind the rest of the story if it was more like this chapter, where they are at least making good progress and not rehashing a ton of things. I loved M's section but I do think it could be tightened up a bit. There were a few sections where some of her thoughts felt a bit flat and the whole thing is a bit, sort of, jittery to me. I am not sure the Blues Brothers reference is landing quite the way it was intended to, especially with M's upbringing muddying the waters, and double especially as a weight-bearing portion of the plot. That's still a decently obscure film, I feel like, and Q really only makes sense if you know the reference. Otherwise, it sort of looks to me like Q thinks Canadians are really, really gullible.
  4. lol, That ain't even half of it! But most days, it's not that bad anymore. I have physical therapy stretches, strength training exercises, -- *cough*whichIreallyshouldbebetteraboutdoing*cough* -- sorry, something in my throat there, more ergonomic peripherals than you can shake a stick at (I think I keep the Microsoft Naturals 4000 in production all on my own with the way I burn through them), and I like to think I've gotten better about getting over my ego and either planning more time to do things, or simply asking for help when I need it. It's mostly jar openings, pulling heavy cake pans out of the oven, and the odd grippy, fiddly thing like cleaning doll parts. And shopping bags. Can't put shopping bags (or anything, really) on my forearms. It's like instant death, since a lot of the tendons in your hand actually attach up on your forearm or elbow! I'll never be a pro gamer, digital artist, or 100WPM typist, but I can do almost everything I want to with enough preparation, workarounds, and breaks.
  5. lol, I'll take those shocked faces as a compliment! But yeah, if you computer at all, hand-and-wrist-health is super important. I did not learn this until after I'd wrecked mine -- heck, there was a span of 5 or 6 years there where I couldn't even curl my fingers into half a fist! (I've since regained almost all my range of motion at least.) Luckily, it's not difficult to maintain your hands and wrists, since primarily all you need to do is remember to take breaks (and stretch, but if all you can manage is breaks, that's still a lot), and if things in your hands and wrists are twanging, pinging, or twitching, stop if it is at all possible.
  6. Well, my nippers finally arrived and I started trimming up the big sprues and flashings. As expected, my wrists and hands only lasted through about 20 minutes of work before I had to go ice them. (Take breaks when you game and use your compy, kids, don't end up like me!) The cheap nippers I got went through the plastic easily, at least; I was a little worried about that. I think I'm going to have to buy the specialized tool for removing seam lines from Games Workshop, though. I tried it with the X-acto and it was not good for my hands at all (tendons should not twang like rubber bands). Ah well. Incremental progress is still progress.
  7. I agree with the others regarding the lack of specificity. Overall I knew what was going on, but I had to make a lot of logical jumps and untangle a lot of details myself before I got there and having to do work like that to parse a tense section can kill tension and immersion for me. The dialogue in this section is sounding particularly stilted to me. It almost reminds me of villains from an anime, which is not necessarily a bad thing, but I feel like the dialogue here isn't consistently stilted in the same way, if that makes sense? So if, say, M always talked like a fantasy anime villainess, that would make sense to me, but if she's sometimes like that and sometimes just awkward and stilted then it feels like it's not a part of her character and just awkward dialogue, if that makes sense? It feels unintentional right now to me, I think, and I think I want it to feel intentional, if the dialogue is going to be that way. There was some good tension on the run through the house, with the items being thrown around, but the net just killed it for me. Where does a normal house even come up with a net like that? Like, up to now, the objects being used against the kids were either related to the ghost/mannequin connection, or something that one could imagine would be found in an average, lived-in house (maybe a hoarder's house, but still. House stuff. Toys. Yard decorations). But a net, at that size? The struggle to free the moms brought some of the tension back for me. I had a decent idea of the blocking, but it did get confusing in places. A sure has a lot more power now! I was confused about which ghost was doing what, though. Is the ghost of B the one blocking the basement stairway access while M is upstairs waiting with the moms-equins? Are they working together? It seemed to me that the bones in the dresser were B's bones? But if that's the case, why were the chains there? If they were M's bones, why was B around them? (If they were M's bones, why hasn't she done something more secure with them, instead of just shoving them in a basement where she then dropped the people who most want to get a hold of them?) I liked the scene with B, I was just confused how he and the bones got there.
  8. So, I had a lot written about where the sense of urgency went, because I feel like it's mostly vanished and the story is just sort of glooping around in a gooey morass right now, but I don't think the whole long paragraphs amount to much useful critique here. Q feels oddly detached to me right now, and I don't think hanging a lantern on the questions around his motivation is quite enough to get over the problems they cause. Basically, I'm just so super ready to get to what feels to me like the point of the novel and start doing mystery stuff. The traveling, the introspection, like @Mandamon says, it feels disconnected from the rest of things. Like, is this a travelogue, or a conundrum? Q doesn't even get to a satisfying conclusion to all his musings. He's already decided to see this through to the end, that's how he got here, after all. The talk with TOM is interesting, but I also don't think it's really ... doing a whole lot for the plot. TOM is using his apparently godlike powers to bend the rules of the world just to make a few vague threats. I don't feel particularly threatened by him, though, because, to me, all of the danger and peril so far seems like it has come from either Mor or Q&M themselves. It's like he's just randomly stopped Q and M in order to give the mommyvan time to arrive. The mom is giving me super creepy Stepford Wives vibes. Did TOM send her? Did she sneak his DNA with the hug? Are the kids remote-operated undercover androids? I agree with @kais that the descriptions of her and the kids need a bit of work. They're not super cringey, but they could be a whole lot better. This twitter thread doesn't involve puffs, but it's a great visual reference. It's talking about styles, what is involved in maintaining them, and why people would choose a certain style, which could be useful to think about from a character standpoint. Iron_spike on Twitter: Black Hair for Non-Black Artists
  9. Lol, it's not actually that difficult, it's basically just a human form. You can mostly tell which parts go where from their shape. The doll is made up of a jointed inner skeleton and an outer shell, which is common for a doll of this type. The shell parts are the ones that look like the outside of a person, the bust, the torso, the upper thighs, etc. This is a "ball joint" style doll, so the inner skeleton peeks through the shell at elbows, wrists, and ankles (shoulders, hips, and knees, due to the jointing types being used there, usually end up covered by the shell), and those joints are round (or bean-shaped like the double-jointed elbow). I have to assemble the skeleton (which is the complicated part), grease up the joints, then fit the skeleton pieces into their respective shells. Less complicated than a giant spaceship, for sure (but more potential for horrifying photos, I like to think). I've already sent her head off to be stripped and repainted. :3
  10. Well, since someone else posted his assembly-required puzzle toy, I'll post mine. This is a Boss Grade Mirai Cortex and unlike certain spaceships, she doesn't come with instructions (there're a bunch of fan-made walkthroughs, though, so it's not totally uncharted territory). I'm still waiting for my nippers and extra-tiny drill bits to arrive, and then I'll have to wait for a weekend when I'm not working two or three jobs, but I'm super excited to play plastic Frankenstein.
  11. Pretty much everything @Mandamon said is the same for me, including where I started to skim. I'm not sure I buy that things are getting out of hand from Mor's perspective. It's seemed like so far everything's gone just about the way he wanted it, with the exception of T (maybe) still being alive (maybe).
  12. I distinctly remember giving that exact same critique during that book too.
  13. This is a lot choppier than the previous section and I am having a hard time figuring out what's happening. It feels like the information is all jumbled up and out of order. For instance, I expected E to talk about how they knew of the barn when they first mentioned it looked familiar, but that information doesn't come until almost half a page later. I am also very unclear on where the house comes from. I feel like the info about M and her powers and her wanting to come back to life should be hinted at earlier. Right now it feels to me like it's coming from nowhere. It does a good job of giving the villain a reason to be kidnapping people, so I like it. It just needs a bit more support from earlier. I also have some issues with the use of poison ivy in the ghost repellent. It feels a little... hmm... direct? for metaphysical uses. For a ghost repellent in this world, I'd expect, like, plants and herbs associated with forgetting, or warding off bad dreams or bad memories, discouraging unwanted guests... or like... peaceful rest... sleep... I could even see plants with antiseptic properties... I can't really describe exactly why, but poison ivy doesn't seem to fit where it's being used to me. The last time I touched something that had touched poison ivy, I had to have multiple rounds of those steroids that make you go a little loopy. Z-packs? I can't imagine what would happen to me if I had to collect bags of the stuff! It's odd that after all that attention, the bags of poison ivy just sort disappear from the story once they get into the house. If it was as powerful as all that, wouldn't just having the plants in their bags repel some of M's attacks? What about A? Would he be repelled from his doll for sharing a backpack with the stuff? Could, like, entire forests be cut off from ghosts if the ivy made a complete circuit around an area? I'm overthinking, I know, I know. The scenes in the house itself were good and spooky, but also slightly confusing in the way things are described and the order they happen. Also, as an aside, if you neglect your lawn long enough, most municipalities will mow it for you! It'll be stupidly, ridiculously expensive and you can get a citation or even a lien, be fined (on top of the bill), and other not-great things, but make it look bad enough for somebody to complain and the "city" can and will fix it.
  14. Overall: This chapter seemed a little more scattered than usual to me. I'm back to being confused, too. As I go: Well, I have lost whatever momentum I'd gained from the Q and M action chapter. I have also completely forgotten why E was in such a rush, and I'm totally lost in the timeline with all of these back-and-forth skips. Is this before or after she talked with the sheriff? I like the idea of heels with actual traction! lol walking across ice in the irl versions is an exercise is bravado and balance. Okay, I guess it's after. I am also confused by the use of more top-secret chimeras out in public for the search. I can believe animals used to track animals (though honestly, scent is just molecules so in theory couldn't a sensitive android track by scent too?), but it seems counter-productive to use animals the public isn't supposed to know about out in places where the public news drones (and numerous actual people) are already canvassing... While this is yet more travel from Q and M, and I am getting very heartily tired of travel from them, I feel like this is important travel, and I don't really think it should be all the way cut? It's even relatively brief and it ends with M explaining herself so that is very good. I just wish I hadn't had so much travel from them earlier so I wouldn't be so done with it right now. It's a nice, quiet scene. Thinking about it a little bit, I do wonder about where their sense of urgency went, though. It was all run-run break-laws-for-the-greater-good and now they're just like "ah well. we'll pick up the desperate race to save a life and exculpate ourselves again in the morning."
  15. Like the others, the casual discarding of such an important piece of clothing as that suit didn't sit right with me. At the very least, i feel like I need more support for the decision. Likewise, I'm still unclear what is driving Q to pursue this, especially when it's been one disaster after another for him. M's motives seem to be sheer cussedness and a minor's inability to agree to binding contracts, and I'm fine with those. Q, being the driving force of that section, I feel like needs a bit more than that. M & Q have a lot of action in their chapters, and it's good action, but I feel like not a lot really is going on in them, if that makes sense? They've done a very large amount of traveling and called each other a number of amusing names, but we're 9 chapters in and I'm really wondering what they're doing with the plot? It doesn't feel to me like they're very connected at all. Maybe they only need to show up, Columbo-style, at the halfway point, so that the villains can have more uninterrupted chapter space to set the stage for them? I don't know. They're on-model in a way they weren't in previous versions, and that's a very large improvement that I've been noticing and appreciating. My problem now is, mostly, that they don't seem to be the protagonists, or part of the main plot of the novel. They just keep retreading things I-as-a-reader already know.