Firerust

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Firerust last won the day on November 2

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About Firerust

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    Bearer of the Purple Explosion
  • Birthday 02/16/2000

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    Unreliable Realism Legislatures
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    Advanced Idea Mechanics, huh? What are they doing here?
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    Mosquitos Suck Nougat
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    Ice Cream Quesadillas
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    How rude! Do you even known what that word means?
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    Shards Killed Yolen's Perfect Ecology

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    Male
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    Expanse of the Vapors, outside of the New Inquisition Fortress
  • Interests
    Writing, thinking, reading, acting, singing, piano-playing, song-composing, movie-watching, gaming, fandoms, etc.

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  1. Butt's true love came to wake him from the spell early on, and she was none other than...
  2. I don't normally join any guilds (Knights of the Cosmere is the only one, and it's not really a guild as much as it's a writing group), but this is a must. I feel a need to be a part of this noble cause. I hereby swear myself to the Order/Guild(?) of Chocolate, may it forever be defended in its great chocolateyness.
  3. This is a big necro. But... It is a good necro.
  4. And apparently honorspren rank higher than Shardbearers. Knowing this pleases me. I should go behave capriciously and tease depressed bridgey bois.
  5. 't was horr'ble. Because all the 's were burned out. Now no one could wr'te properly and no one could see the mustache of Bor'o S'ngald'.
  6. They all watched The Phantom Menace.
  7. Okay, I like hugs and I need to vent about a myriad of things. Starting with a little first world problem, but I lost $2 to a vending machine yesterday and got nothing out of it, not even a refund. I also didn't do so well on another one of my exams that same day, and I had school starting early that morning and worked very late, so I was gone from home all day long and only saw my parents for a few minutes before going to bed and didn't see my siblings at all. And I also didn't get the chance to play the piano at all yesterday or so far today, and I practically live for that. Plus, I have a big important essay due by this Friday that I haven't started yet because I'm a storming fricking darn procrastinator and now it's eating away at me and stressing me out like heck, along with another assignment due that same day that I can only start working on the day before. And I have work at my job throughout the week in addition to that, as well as a looming tuition deadline come Saturday that I can't pay all the remainder of on my own, so I'll be even more in debt to my parents as they pay for the rest of what I can't. Oh, and I almost forgot to mention the car accident I was in. Probably because it was a little over two weeks ago, but still. I may be completely physically fine and it was a miraculous experience in that there was no damage done to anyone or anything other than my own car despite the fact that the accident was on a crowded road, but it's made getting around a lot harder for me and my family ever since then. The worst part is, the accident was completely and totally my fault. Don't look at your phone while driving, kids. And adults. And pretty much everyone. Not even "pretty much". Just -- everyone set your phones aside while driving. On the bright side, I've recently taken to wearing a really neat leather jacket I found in a closet at home, so I got that going for me, which is good. Whatever the case, hugs and encouragement would be appreciated as I slog through this perilous travail that will last until Saturday is over. ... Well, I have more problems in life going on as well that are more broad and long-lasting background things, but I've rambled long enough, and they're more personal issues, so I probably shouldn't talk about them anyway. Basically, I feel like Shallan. My life falling apart inwardly, and me just pretending everything's fine and dandy on the outside as I keep smiling, even when it feels fake, hiding the truth of how messed up things are from other people I know. I'm losing at the game of life, and I need to get better at the game*. *If you read that, you lost the game. In case y'all haven't noticed, I'm trying to use humor to make up for feeling like crap and keep my spirits up. Guess I'm like Sans that way. Um... I'll shut up and open up to hugs now, hehe.
  8. Hmmm... dear me.
  9. Narrator Firerust was sick of tautology, so he manipulated the universe so that Butt Venture was sick of tautology. So it was eliminated. Butt went on a journey with his cousin Elend to search for Uncle Brandy’s waffle treasure, which was hidden in the land of the ghanderflaffles that existed only on the seventh plane of existence. Butt and Elend made this interdimensional journey with Orang and Meme Man, collecting a golden octahedron of enlightenment along the way. They used this to destroy all the defenses around the waffle treasure, which turned out to be an army of breadmunks. The power of the octahedron caused them all to explode. In fact, the power was so great that it caused every breadmunk across all expanses of time and space to explode, which meant that every previous time a breadmunk had inexplicably exploded in the events of the Longest Thread, it had actually been caused by Butt’s use of the octahedron in the far future. Every instance of breadmunks exploding we’ve written and read was actually caused by this event in the far future. This conundrum destroyed the universe and everything exploded and it was sad. Except for the realm of the ghanderflaffles, which survived because of its vicinity to the octahedron. All that lived in the universe now was Butt, Elend, the elusive Cornfather, the 24 ghanderflaffles, Uncle Brandy’s ghost, the 0.0000000000001% of Gaz’s hat, and Harold, who had evaded universal destruction by going to a porta-potty during the World Cup finals. Butt realized that the power of the octahedron was too great for him, and he gave it to Harold. Harold was able to use it for its proper purpose – enlightenment – and gained all the knowledge of existence, which he used to play proxy for Adonalsium and recreate the entire universe from its destruction. Unfortunately, he made the entire universe football-oriented (real football, not the American kind) in retribution for missing the end of the big game. Butt and Elend didn’t know about this, because they were busy eating Uncle Brandy’s waffle treasure and gaining godlike powers from them such as healthiness, aptitude, actual intelligence, and the answers to what “UNITE THEM” meant. Elend used this knowledge to unite Scadrial as the Final Emperor, and so his tale was done. But Butt wasn’t all that smart from eating the waffles, because he decided to stay in the realm of the ghanderflaffles and keep eating, even though the ghanderflaffles were out to get him now. But 20 of the ghanderflaffles were distracted by the sight of the the 0.0000000000001% of Gaz’s hat and forgot everything they ever knew. (And consequently, Narrator Firerust learned that you can’t paste text you cut after clicking undo after the text was cut, since the timeline of events was altered and now nothing could be pasted. And this is why copy and paste is better). 2 of the remaining ghanderflaffles were destroyed by Orang and Meme Man, who had Returned to get revenge on Butt for making the breadmunks (and consequently, the universe) explode. But then the other two ghanderflaffles showed up and removed their disguises, revealing themselves to be none other than Uncle Brandy and Borio Singaldi. The real ghanderflaffles they were impersonating had been knocked unconscious and gagged with milk-soaked rags before being dumped in the Pits of Hatham (because Hatham was dead and could do nothing about it). In the #1 greatest anime fight of all time (out of the Top 10), Borio and Brandy battled Orang and Meme Man. The results of their actions caused the realm of the ghanderflaffles to get scrunched, and they were all launched back to Earth. There, they discovered the changes Harold had made to the universe to make it soccer-oriented, so Butt, Brandy, Borio, BOrang, and BMeme Man united together to create an army of PlayStation Miis and begin a revolution against Harold. But then the Grandmaster appeared out of nowhere and pardoned all the Miis from life. But then a thermonuke hit him and blew up both him and the octahedron, meaning there was nothing to be done to reverse what Harold had done. The story got so Sanderson-avalanchey that an actual avalanche began which drowned Harold in yellow snow. Unfortunately, Uncle Brandy was caught in the avalanche and died as well. It was very dramatic and sad, and sad music played. Borio Singaldi shaved off his mustache to add to the drama and misery. The mustache Returned and became the new golden octahedron of enlightenment and shavery. Borio used it to return all existence and the story to normal, even giving himself a new and better mustache. And a second cane, because he was actually Kyle. And Kyle was now happy, because having the two canes made up for losing the last thermonuke in his nuke collection. Because all the thermonukes that ever came out of nowhere and hit random people across the Longest Thread were actually accidentally sent by Kyle each and every time. But now they were gone. Any thermonuke that would show up in the story again would be sent by someone else, though no one knew who that was. Actually, everyone knew who Someone Else was. He was the only other guy in the universe who controlled thermonukes, but Kyle had taken all of them and accidentally dropped them onto random characters at random points in the thread’s history. Someone Else wanted revenge, except he had no more nukes, and neither did Kyle. Someone Else looked for the Shard of Unrelevance to give him unnecessary power. Then a thermonuke hit him and he was professionally pardoned from life. Now all evil was gone, and people could find peace. Orang and Meme Man left for another universe (the third one, specifically) to combat the Eternal Army of Vegatals and be the vanguard for the Order of the Steak. And Butt went to Timbuktu to live out the rest of his days in peace. Everyone left to lead different futures. Except Uncle Brandy. He was alone. He was alone, but he was at peace. At peace with the knowledge that the post was almost done. He had finally fulfilled his role in the Longest Thread, or at least the Longest Post in the Longest Thread. Which was good enough. He looked up into the sky, seeing a rather boring looking star constellation that was shaped like a thread. The longest one in existence. That thread… was happy. So Uncle Brandy was happy. Because he was the heart and soul of the Longest Thread. He knew his story wasn’t yet done… but a significant portion of his life had finally come to pass, and he could find peace. And whiskey. He found whiskey. It was good whiskey. He smiled and looked at the stars as he sipped his whisky. All was good. ... Why such a long post? Because it's my 500th post! And I word counted it; it's 1,139 words long.
  10. Incoming 500th post... what to do? I've had multiple good ideas come up, not all of them from me.

    1. Show previous comments  5 more
    2. Firerust

      Firerust

      Spoilers, my dudes. I haven't read it yet.

    3. Inklingspren
    4. Inklingspren

      Inklingspren

      All I said was dogfights. It’s about spaceships, you expect there to not be some? I wont say what happens, but they are entertaining and I’M HYPED FOR MB ERA 4

  11. I can picture most of them correctly, I think, even the appearance of the Alethi and other Rosharan ethnicities, but for the life of me, it is a SERIOUS CHALLENGE to not picture Elhokar as being blond-haired. I don't know why, but I've always been picturing him as blond, and part of my brain rejects whenever I tell myself he has black hair like all the other Alethi. I am trying to think of other examples I may have thought of incorrectly... Oh, yeah. Just remembered. An exception to my Roshar races claim. My problem with listeners/singers. I've always thought of them as having red-and-black marbled skin, to the point that it's hard to picture them as anything else such as the also common red-and-white marbled, even though last we saw, Venli still has a red-and-white skinned appearance. It's difficult for me to imagine her as having the white skin with red swirls that Envoyform gives her, because I think of all of the singers as having the same basic blend of red-and-black.
  12. I think that if nothing arose to oppose it, meaning that if there was no further antithesis, then what we had would be the final synthesis that reigns unopposed, the achievement of perfection. Both in the case of dialectics in general and regarding your Harmony question. Brilliant connections! I hadn't thought of that. Maybe this thread will have to be moved beyond the Mistborn section. It would appear so. Thanks for the pat. *pat back* The story with Elend I wanted to use as an example. Final Empire: Thesis: Elend the bookworm nobleman vs Antithesis: the advent of the skaa rebellion = Synthesis: Elend the king of the new kingdom with little experience Well of Ascension: (Syn)Thesis: Elend the king of the new kingdom with little experience vs Antithesis: opposition of enemy kingdoms and his own kingdom = Synthesis: Elend the Final Emperor trying to unite the world Hero of Ages: (Syn)Thesis: Elend the Final Emperor trying to unite the world vs Antithesis: becoming a controlling tyrant like the Lord Ruler = True Synthesis: Elend the Final Emperor who makes the honorable choices while still helping to save the world Perhaps a new antithesis and synthesis would have been possible for Elend -- had he not died.
  13. Aha! So it WAS you! I was the young man with glasses behind you in the Starbucks line holding Arcanum Unbounded who asked you about your Roshar map and talked with you about what Sel could have been like before Odium's interference.
  14. As a result of being hunted for tax evasion, Butt became good friends with Yoshi.
  15. How about an actual song that was made for Sazed?