ScarletSabre

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About ScarletSabre

  • Birthday 07/29/1994

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  1. Silence's Waystop?
  2. Haha, thank you for taking the time to give it, I really do appreciate it ^^ Hopefully someone else might chime in with their own thoughts, since so far it seems like you're pretty much the only one reading it! (Oh, and speaking of sentence level stuff, if you spot a few run-on sentences, I do have a bad habit of those I'm trying to curtail, at least in writing projects like this xD So they might creep in here and there) I'm glad you enjoyed the opening hook, it felt very cliche for me on a reread, but of course this whole project WAS inspired by me watching Isekai anime with my friend, so that probably plays a part, haha! I'm glad you think Lornel is an interesting character and her interactions are good, since I quite like her myself, and I think you and anyone else reading might like what I have in store. ^^ And yup, he's Max Level for NPCQuest, which transferred to this world, but I haven't specified what the maximum level in the world itself is, don't forget... Your point about the terms is true, but I don't think it's too much of a barrier, since they're rather common phrases, and PvP in particular, at least to myself, is an easy enough thing to understand in the context of a game, or with even a cursory knowledge of games ^^ I'll bear it mind though! As for Rob's previous life and his experiences, that's a very good point, this project was originally just written for my friend to enjoy, and he's much more familiar with Rob, so I didn't feel the need to expand on his backstory yet as much as I might have if I'd gone into this intending to write it for everyone to see from the start. Though with your point about the tightrope, it's actually not as bad as you might think, a lot of people who practice martial arts or bodybuilding are huge nerds, there's actually a rather surprising amount of people you'd find in a gym who were inspired by and are huge fans of/nerds for Dragonball Z, for example. Though I do recognise that this can make him a bit Gary-Stu-ish, and don't worry, I'll be remedying that later, when I do expand a bit more on him. (And as a martial artist nerd myself, I can testify that myself, and quite a few members of my dojo, are huge nerds who love games and reading/writing ^^) And as for what the setting can give him that he didn't already have... it's a question Rob will seriously consider going forwards, but first off, a very awesome set of regal armour, super strength and durability and skills literally straight out of a video game, tons of money and a fantasy world to explore and experience. So he has quite a lot of things to explore and exploit in the future ! Regarding the perspective switch, I can see how I should make it a bit more clear, I'll definitely make sure I do so going forwards. I'm intending there to be Rob's first person perspective as the main POV, but a smattering of other characters' third person ones here and there, so I hopefully have a better way of distinguishing it going forwards. Thanks for the feedback there, I need to be consistent! ^^ Haha, that's true, I did spot them when I posted it here, but I thought I'd leave them to give a good sense of both my writing style and how I use profanities, which of course aren't for everyone, but the worst of them will be caught by the filter and you can know the meaning/intent regardless ^^ Plus I personally thing "rust-eatingest of grins" is a damnation fun phrase ~ As for Robert coming across as a bit of a psychopath... I honestly hadn't intended for that, or expected it XD Again, probably a problem of this being originally intended for my friend, who knows Robert and his backstory and personality already, causing me to not expand as much on his motivations and thoughts. Of course I can always remedy that with another draft, and I was intending to clarify more going forwards in future chapters regardless, but good to know how you see him! The blood knight tendency and thrill of battle were definitely intended though, I'm glad that came across ^^ Though I wouldn't say he had an eagerness to hurt them so much as protect people (and show off a bit) with his skills, though the two were definitely intermingled somewhat... he wanted to see the effectiveness of his skills for real, in a situation where he could use them to the fullest, and with super durability to be able to tank hits and just use them as experiments, he reveled in it, and didn't feel as bad as he probably should have for the men he hurt afterwards. When it comes to fighting, he can be rather ruthless/callous. And don't forget, he didn't know about his super strength or durability before he jumped into the fight, so he didn't start off knowing he'd be able to treat them as playthings/test dummies ^^ NPCQuest as a game itself would be a fun project, certainly, considering some of the ideas I have for it, but considering this is an in-world setting based on the game I don't know how SOME of what I have planned would work in an actual game, haha! And a crossover with the other project is certainly possible, if improbable, since the worldbuilding of that one is quite different, and wouldn't use the same kind of stats or magic system, at least at the moment. I may reuse some of the characters though! And I'm very glad to hear you find it fun and entertaining ^__^ It means a lot that you've read it and given it such a thoughtful critique, and would enjoy reading more ! I've not been in the right mindset/mood to continue the project lately, but I have another chapter (and half of an unfinished chapter), as well as lots of notes and plans, so until I get to writing more here's the next chapter! Chapter 5
  3. @Ookla-Shephir Welcome back to the read! Haha, any reactions to it that you can share? Favourite moments etc?
  4. Waxillium's Mansion?
  5. Was Pattern always bonded/bonding to Shallan, or has he bonded to others, or at least started to form a bond with others, before? Could Nightblood Awaken, or use the Investiture he absorbs before he consumes it fully? Could a Kandra consume an Aviar to learn how their bodies interact with the fruit/worms, and then adjust their own organs to be able to eat the fruit and gain the powers? Can you store Stormlight in a Hemalurgic spike? Not the ability to use it or breathe it in, but the Stormlight itself, as if the Spike was a Sphere? And if so, how long would the charge of Stormlight last, compared to a Sphere? Would it leak faster from the Spike compared to a Sphere/gemstone of similar size? And on the topic of Spikes, how small could a Hemalurgic spike be? The one that granted Spook Pewter in HOA was only the tip of a sword, and yet he could flare the metal and had impressive strength, though not compared to Vin or Ham. I'm curious if a very small, toothpick sized piece of metal would be able to grant/steal powers, and what the minimum required size would be, since it only needs to be able to pierce the heart and have the intent behind it to steal powers. That also makes me think of Spook's spike... when the sword snapped and left the tip embedded in him, was only the tip a Hemalurgic Spike? Would the rest of the blade of the sword have counted as one, or only the parts that went through the body of the person who was stabbed to steal the power? If you stabbed someone with a sword to make the whole blade a Spike, then snapped it in half, would you get two Spikes? And finally (for now), could you create a Spike from a Shardblade/Sprenblade?
  6. Granted, but the book is the size of a Cremling. You can read the language, but you're going to need a good magnifying class to do so, or possibly a microscope. I wish to be able to see myself and the world, in third person, as if I was a character in a game, whenever I wished.
  7. We have a winner! ^^ Your turn!
  8. Nope, though I did consider him! Nope, our favourite grumpy swordsman isn't him this time! And nope! No luck there! Clue the third! This person considered violence against their employer at one point.
  9. Raoden+Sarene Breeze+Allriane Vin+Zane Shan Elariel+Elend Siri+Susebron Kiin+Daora Jalla+Lukel General Khal+Brightness Teshav Dalinar+Navani Elhokar+Aesudan Ahan+Seaden Waxillium+Steris Ranette+Mira Drehy+Dru Rock+Song Kelsier+Mare David+Megan Prof+Tia Tanavast+Cultivation Wayne+MeLaan Sebarial+Palona Torol Sadeas+Ialai Dalinar+Evi Vasher+Shashara Demoux+Asyldin Queen Fen+Kmakl Eliminated Sazed+Tindwyl and Vin+Elend, since Saze and Tindwyl will have plenty of books to discuss, Elend will want to learn more about certain scholarly subjects, and Vin would go along just to see what the fuss was about and try and make an effort for Elend ^^ Which couple would be most likely to sing a duet in karaoke? Drunk or otherwise, and of course speculate yourself on how good they'd be and what they might sing~
  10. Nope! Far too obvious ~ Also nope! And a third nope! Second clue ! This character has known, and worked for, nobility.
  11. Would it be possible at some point in the (likely far) future to get a non-canonical meetup of old protagonists and characters, similar to the Kelsier/Moraine crossover? I just like the idea of when we finally get to the Space Opera Mistborn, we get to see Vin looking the new protagonist up and down and saying what she thinks of them. "Wait, you named your ship after me? Do I LOOK like I have thrusters that big?" "Tensoon has SOFT TOYS? Do they at least look fierce?"
  12. Alrighty.... This person has been seen on more than one world.
  13. Glad to hear it ! And yes it is, that's the point Can't wait to see the critique, and in the meantime, enjoy the next chapter! Chapter 4 - Another one I'm not entirely satisfied with bits of, but it's a first draft after all
  14. Please, by all means do! I'm glad to hear you're at least being somewhat entertained by the story As for NPCQuest, it's an in-world game, and a reference to another of my projects, it's the working title for my story of the classic hero's tale - farmboy to king etc... told from the point of view of the beleaguered shopkeeper who's having to deal with all this when he just wants to make money and be left alone. As for the other questions... they'll be answered eventually, when I write more chapters, haha! I've only got a few more written at the moment, so what I'll do is post them one at a time so you, and anyone else who might want to read it, can give your thoughts on it By all means critique, but please let me know if it at least entertained you a bit! Chapter 3 - Apologies for the difference in formatting, copied this chapter from the Google Doc version rather than the USB the others came from