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5 Darkeyes

About EthanBassett

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    I'm a inspiring writer with a love of epic fantasy and all things Sanderson.
  1. I think the key here is motivation. Your problem is that it doesn't feel right for him to have both sides, but I think that being good at selling slaves is bad in and of itself. If his motivation for being professional lies in making money off the trafficking of people then you should be fine.
  2. I wasn't really trying to a make a statement about society, although the thought crossed my mind. This is something that I was hoping the reader would notice, but I put it there mostly to bring down the tone. I wanted to leave the reader with something to think about. I found it funny how you made the comment about optimism because other people who have read it said the same thing. Personaly, I share the belief that most people would choose others over themselves, but I wanted the story to have a darker tone.
  3. Does anyone have any advice or experience about short fiction publishing? I recently purchased the 2017 version of Writers Market and working on sending some MMS to fiction magazines.
  4. I don't have anything to say that hasn't already been said, but the hook is great and it holds my attention. FYI: I checked out your website (I'm a part-time web developer) and was very impressed.
  5. I originally submitted this a month or two ago, and I am happy to say that it is significantly better. What I’m looking for: The ending: The largest critique I got last time was that the ending sucked. Is it better? Does it make sense? When, if ever, does it grab the reader's attention, and does it hold? How does the tension hold? Finally, I’m having trouble coming up with a name. ‘Choose’ is the name I’ve been calling it in my head but I really don’t like it. Any suggestions would be helpful. I just realized that I used the wrong form of two when I the email... I'm so sorry Pumpkins and Penguins, E.C. Bassett Don’t read this until after you’ve read the piece! The last draft I submitted ended before Charlotte made a decision. I thought it was good but everyone else wanted a better resolution. Do we still think that? Also, would it be too dark if Charlotte chose herself? I feel like that would ruin her likability.
  6. I didn't sub last week. I'm ready this week if there is room but next week is also fine.
  7. I've got a revised version of the short story I submitted somewhere around a month ago
  8. That sounds fun.
  9. It's a byproduct of the drugs, but you're right. I don't intend for this to stand alone. I've been thinking about it, and I want to write more about this world so there will be some unanswered questions.
  10. I originally wrote the whole thing in the present tense but it sounded off so I changed it to the past. I guess I missed a little. As for the rest of what you said, I cut out a large portion of the story because I felt it was too lengthy for what I was trying to accomplish. I tried to sew it back up but I can tell there are some holes. There is something bigger with what I'm trying to say in the ending, and I'm finding it hard to balance. I don't want to spoon-feed the reader my message but I'm not sure how much information is enough information.
  11. This is a short story I originally wrote my freshmen year of high school. I thought I would never see it again till I found it in a folder I call “Where Ideas Go to Die.” I needed a break from my normal writing so I gave it a rewrite. I’m not looking for anything, in particular, this time around, so any input is appreciated. For those of you who are super into grammar and spelling, I truly am sorry. I know this takes time to read and critique so thank you all. May the Gods not smite you, -E.C. Bassett Choose.docx
  12. So the computer I usually use to submit is not feeling very well so I'm using my laptop. Sadly, I do not have Word downloaded on my laptop. I've gone through some trouble trying to convert the file but seeing as it is already Wednesday it's probably best if I just submit next Monday or whenever there is room again...
  13. I just finished a short story. I'm considering splitting it into two submissions but either way, it's ready.
  14. Well, pretty much everything wrote I down while reading this has been said, but I'm invested in this so I have to say something. Prologue/Chapter 1: It's probably time to decide if its chapter one or a prologue. Personly, I don't write prologues unless I have a specific reason to. If the rest of the story evolves a significant change in scene, time, or characters then make it a prologue. If not then don't write a prologue simply for the purpose of having one. This piece has come a long way since I first read it and I'm looking forward to more.
  15. Couldn't have said it better myself