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General Brandon stuff: Cosmere spoilers: Mistborn spoilers: Stormlight Archive spoilers:

yes luna and i broke up it was on good terms, and we’re still friends, but we’re not romantically together anymore thanks y’all for asking if i’m okay. i am okay. a little hurt, pretty sad, but.. i’m okay. and i’ll be okay. life’s different now, but i’ll get through it. and.. yeah. just wanted to let y’all know in case you hadn’t seen yet. im not mad at her. she gave incredibly logical reasons that i also agreed with, so it was a mutual parting of ways. please don’t bash on her or on our relationship or anything. thanks.

Ok, tomorrow is the day! Have an amazing few years everyone!

“Define hope.” No. Hope is not something that can be defined; you can’t confine a word so powerful to a simple box, with 8 simple corners and 6 simple sides. Hope is a word that demands to be freed, demands the ability to twist itself every which way, especially into places it doesn’t belong. Hope doesn’t arrive neatly packaged, with a delivery man who can explain to you exactly what’s coming. Hope arrives like the wind, bending without rhyme or reason, sometimes in a barely felt breeze, sometimes in huge gusts that can’t be ignored. It is a power that can break cities, a power that can be neither controlled nor stopped. So no, I can’t define hope for you. Ah, but you want more. Yet, how can I tell you what hope is? It would be as easy to explain beauty, love, betrayal, cowardice. Only, these are words you can’t just know, you have to feel them, deep inside you. You have to hear the air rush involuntarily out of your lungs when you see a beautiful mountain range with trees the color of fire; you have to feel the heat in your chest and in your cheeks when you’re near that person, the one who cares for you more than you could care for yourself; you have to feel your stomach drop when you realize one that you thought would never leave you is gone; and you have to understand the terror as you turn to run from a fight that you pledged your life to. They aren’t emotions you can explain, they’re emotions you have to feel, breathe, live. So how shall I explain hope to you, then? Should I describe the last breath of crisp, fresh air when one is drowning? Do you want me to explain the look in the eyes of a broken child when you tell them that they are home? Or would you rather me explain the problems with hope? Because hope lends strength, yes, but only so much. It can’t be killed, but it can be misplaced, lost and forgotten. It can be ignored by humans with hearts so stubborn they can’t stand the thought of trying for the fear they will fail. So how do I define hope to you? How do I take one of the most powerful concepts in existence, a power that most people long for more than anything, and give it to you in only a few words? I can’t. More than that, I won’t. I refuse, because hope is too precious, too easy to lose. Like an artfully crafted spider's web, it can be destroyed in a moment. I refuse to give you the power to snub it out, because even if you don’t understand what you’re doing, by thinking you know what hope is you are breaking its power. And here I sit, doing the same thing, pretending to understand an idea I can only imagine. But you see, I have felt it, I feel it, and so I do understand it, on the most basic level. I have taken that first breath of air, looked up with the shining eyes of a child, and I continue to feel it. Still, you want me to define hope for you? I can give you hope, I can do everything in my power to show you that light, but I cannot define it. Define hope? “I can’t.”

Talked with my brother about the thread on safely burning Harmonium, including @Trusk'our's idea to Plate the outside with another allomantic metal. While Duralumin allows for massive bursts of power of other metals, instantly burning all available metal, Duralumin itself burns at a constant rate. Combine this with this WoB that Trusk'our found: Here's the idea we came up with for a Mistborn or Hemalurgist with access to A-Duralumin and other Allomantic powers, for this example we'll use Steel. You have a sizeable bead made of concentric layers of Steel sandwiched in between layers of Duralumin, and for consistency a rod of Duralumin that runs through all layers to the core of the bead. The idea is that as you burn Duralumin, the thin layer covering the Steel burns away giving you access to a Duralumin-enhanced Steelpush. This burns the Steel immediately reducing the bead to the next thin layer of Duralumin. Burn that thin layer of Duralumin away and you have another charge of Steel at your disposal. This would let you rapid fire charges of Duralumin-enhanced Allomancy. It would even let you alternate metals or burn two simultaneously. Here's a rudimentary cross-section: D:Duralumin S:Steel DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD SSSSSSSSDDSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSDDSSSSSSSS DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD SSSSSSSSDDSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSDDSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSDDSSSSSSSS DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD SSSSSSSSDDSSSSSSSS ... Or D:Duralumin S:Steel P:Pewter B:Brass DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD SSSSSSSSDDPPPPPPPP SSSSSSSSDDPPPPPPPP SSSSSSSSDDPPPPPPPP DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD SSSSSSSSDDSSSSSSSS DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD BBBBBBBBDDBBBBBBB BBBBBBBBDDBBBBBBB DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD PPPPPPPPDDSSSSSSS PPPPPPPPDDSSSSSSS PPPPPPPPDDSSSSSSS ... Fly over with Pewter and Steel, land with Steel, blast the area with massive Soothing, go to town with unenhanced Pewter and Steel unless you decide to use Duralumin again. etc. Thoughts?

Obviously, September 11 is a day that kinda sucks So let me tell you the story of Todd Beamer He was born on November 24, 1968. Played sports in school, attended California State, and married Lisa Brosious in 1991. They were going to celebrate their 10-year anniversary on November 2, 2001. His job - an Account Manager - required him to travel several times a month. This time he opted to take a late flight to stay with his pregnant wife after returning from a five-day vacation on September 10, boarding a flight to San Francisco the following morning. The Boeing 757 - Flight 93 - was delayed forty-two minutes before lifting off. Four minutes later, Flight 11 destroyed the North Tower. Thirteen minutes after that, Flight 175 destroyed the South Tower. Twelve minutes later, at 9:25, the cockpit of Flight 93 was taken by terrorists. They kept the passengers seated with the threat of a bomb, and changed the course of the plane towards Washington D.C. not long afterwards. Several passengers managed to make calls to their families, who informed them about the three other attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. Beamer placed a call from the plane seat phone, who only reached a supervisor and the FBI listening in. He informed them that a passenger had been killed (we do not know who), and shouted repeatedly "we're going down" when the plane turned sharply south. He and his fellow passengers decided to act. Mark Bingham, Tom Burnett, Jeremy Glick, Lou Nacke, Rich Guadagno, Alan Beaven, Honor Elizabeth Wainio, Linda Gronlund, William Cashman, Sandra Bradshaw, CeeCee Lyles, and Todd Beamer voted to storm the cockpit - take it back if they could, fly it into the ground if they must. There are several exchanges that have been recovered from the plane's voice data recorder, but the most famous was the last heard on Todd Beamer's call, in which he said to the rest of the passengers "Are you ready? Okay. Let's roll." The suspected target of Flight 93 was likely the White House or the Capitol Building. Orders had been given to shoot the plane down if it continued its approach - this was not necessary. It's unclear, but given the last recorded audio that was recovered before the crash - of the terrorist Ziad Jarrah, repeating the words "give it to me" - one could assume that the passengers completed their mission by intentionally crashing the plane into a field in Shanksville, Pennsylvania, killing everyone on board. He's immortalized in two movies, as well as several speeches and - oddly enough - An Amazing Spider-Man comic issue. In that, the titular characters says "Ordinary men. Ordinary women. Refusing to surrender."

Today was one of the worst days I've had in a very, very, very long time. BUT WE ARENT GOING TO TALK ABOUT THAT!! Because two interesting things happened today!! 1: I impulsively put 3 streaks of pink in my hair. (It was really pink last school year and over the summer, but it's faded to the point where it's basically traumatized dirty blond). Now it has 3 dark pink streaks in it and I'm happy. 2: Partly courtesy of @Kajsa :), I now have a 71 hour writing playlist. And I have a lot of songs that I still want to add but I think I might have gone a little overboard already. I'll probably take out the ones that kill the vibe even if they're good songs and then add MORE tomorrow. 3: hush now I'm excellent at counting. You're all amazing people, and you're all still alive. That says a lot, more than you know. Keep breathing, keep living, keep caring. Notice the leaves, the smell of the air, the feeling of your skin. We live in an incredible world, one that is worth living in. Even when not only is there no light at the end of the tunnel but the tunnel has collapsed on us and we can't even move. Even then. Don't let the lies overcome you. And don't fight alone. Sometimes people weaker than you are can dig you out for the simple reason that they aren't buried. Aaand...fishes I wasn't going to be at all serious here. Ah, well. Too late. Goodnight, friends.

CAST LISTS JUST CAME OUT. I'M THE ONLY ONE IN MY GRADE WHO GOT A ROLE. NOT A LEAD, BUT I HAVE LINES AND IM PART OF THE CAST OF SEVEN. THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE FOR ALL OF YOUR PRAYERS AND GOOD VIBES THEY REALLY HELPED!!! obviously, i'm still really upset about the a cappella group. i need a ton of time to heal from that rejection, but at least this will give me distraction until i do. it's gonna hurt... for a while... but i'm so glad i got this. i couldn't handle another rejection... so thank you, everyone <3

There are a few things I have to say today: 1. My Biology SAC (the thing that has been giving me grief for the last two weeks) is done so ... Booyah!! 2. Today is the first day of the Australian spring school holidays so … Booyah! 3. Oh and of course, last but not least: TODAY IS MA SHARDIVERSRY!!! Woooooooo!!!!!!!!!! I’ve officially been in the Shard for a year (and a day because tIMezOnEs) … Booyah! I’m so incredibly grateful for the time that I’ve spent here so far and the people I’ve met! The shard is a wonderful place full of incredible people and art and theories and RPs (sometimes when I’m bored so just read through a RP like it’s a book) You guys have helped me so much with stress, life and everything and I really hope I’ve helped some of you guys a fraction as much. Thank you for an amazing year, Here’s to many more!!!! Love you all <3 - Cinnamon

I got to sit in the pit of Aladdin on Broadway last night! A friend from my internship reached out and I sat with the keyboards. There is some really cool tech that they use!

A Writeup Shall Come. Results…Shall Come First. The Chess Minigame is over! Though neither King was captured, the Red Team possesses a significant material advantage of 7 points, and carries away the trophy! Final boardstate will be edited in when I’m not on my storming phone >> Your victory points, as promised: Unveiling the FINAL STANDINGS QUINTESSENTIAL: 13 THE KNOWN NOVEL: 13 Ashbringer: 12 _Stick_: 11 DrakeMarshall/Scars of Hathsin: 9 Amanuensis: 8 Experience: 7 Wonko the Sane: 6 Sart: 6 Archer/WitIsTheBest: 2 Matrim’s Dice: 1 xinoehp512: 1 |TJ|: 1 Labyrinth: 1 And some doc links! Fully Spoiled Rules Spec Doc Cards Doc Bandersnatch Doc White Pieces Red Pieces GM Master Spreadsheet Finally, the true reward of this game, the Paper Plate Awards! Step forward onto the podium and claim yours! THE KNOWN NOVEL: You are already a Victor, but I must award you the designation of Fiercest Competitor. Never content with the victory points lying about, you went your way to garner as many as you could for yourself, playing the game like a true FFA, and saw your efforts bear fruit. You were a valiant Knight in the garrison of the Red King. Additionally, by spreading your Time curse to both Alice and the Dormouse, you also win the dubious honour of Typhoid Mary! MATRIM’S DICE: Your longsuffering and patience as you were hit with the Madness early in Cards, suspected in Jabberwock, and given a disjointed team in Chess, has earned you the Truest Stoic award. Thank you for giving it your all throughout the game, even though it didn’t go your way much. EXPERIENCE: While you excelled in the Red Doc strategising with your teammates, your most outstanding effects on the game certainly came in the Cards game. Though you fell willingly upon your Pepper-laced sword during C2 to ensure that Alice or the Knave would not be exposed, your time as the Duchess was laden with significance, helping you to roleblock the Queen who was hunting you during C1. As such, I award you the title of Doughtiest Scapegoat. DRAKEMARSHALL/SCARS: There is no question as to what you deserve. You quite obviously receive Cutest Murderpuppy for your Vorpal Sword assassination of Sart, and your ruthless planning in Chess. WITISTHEBEST/ARCHER: In the grand tradition of our great IM watching over this game, you were in several important positions, but due to a quieter thread and PM presence, managed to mostly evade watchful eyes until the last cycles when it could be borne no more, flying under the radar with aplomb! As such, I grant you the title Most Devoted Adherent to Araris Valerian. XINOEHP512: After receiving largely standard roles in this game, you were nonetheless subjected to a withering barrage of suspicion from all corners, particularly a very confident Wonko. As such, you receive the Most Remarkable Citizen award! QUINTESSENTIAL: Your return to SE was a swooping and triumphant one, seeing you snatch the matriarchy of Wonderland for yourself and use it to set your realm back in order, and granting you co-Victor status. However, it came about from the efforts of others as well, whom you trusted and who did not fail you. As such, you are awarded the Most Benevolent Monarch prize! Try to avoid taking too many more heads, wouldn’t you? _STICK_: You were adrift at sea for much of the game, and were in the centre of the time cursing without yourself being cursed. Nonetheless, you steeled yourself and, though doubtless cursing my name by the end, etched out two hard-won victories for yourself. You therefore earn Ordinary Time’s Strongest Soldier. ASHBRINGER: You came in at exactly the right time in the Cards minigame, performing a perfect kill on the only player not sitting to Tea and securing victory for your faction. And in Chess, though you seemed quiet as the Dormouse you had been, you were another instrumental part of Red’s victory. I therefore award you the Clutch Gene award. Sorry for all the headaches I gave you. (Not really. :P) AMANUENSIS: Ever the joker in these games, you received three difficult roles one after another: the Knave of Hearts, the Jabberwock, and the White Knight. Despite being cursed unexpectedly, you rose to the challenge of each, and gave the difficult wincons I assigned you your all. I therefore present you with Most Dwimmer-Crafty Third Party. May the Sun ever shine on your swords. SART: No suspense here either: you had ALL the time shenanigans happen to you. You were Cursed, kicked out of a Party thanks to a curse, resurrected yourself as a Bandersnatch using your curse, and were the scariest time-travelling bishop to ever cross a chessboard. If Stick is Ordinary Time’s Strongest Soldier, you are Daylight Saving Time’s Strongest Soldier. |TJ|: Bro I’m sorry you just got piled on this game. Especially as My Son. You win Most Feared Spectre, and also Most Interrupted Queen (your poor actions :’)) WONKO THE SANE: You get the trophy case. Most Prolific PMer, Most Dastardly Schemer, Puppet Master Extraordinaire, Complimenter of GMs, Most Dedicated to His Craft, Best Confidence Level in Blackout, Most Likely to Fall For Fifth’s Silly Traps, Quinn’s Strongest Soldier. You deserve every last award. Thanks for making this game your own. LABYRINTH: I think you just straight-up get Most Unlucky. Your Alice role could have done so much, and you just hit the very few wrong people with it. Thanks for being the prime Guinea Pig in this Wonderland world. Thank you, thank you, to everyone who played. This is in my top 3 GMing experiences (and I’ve run a lot of games, with a lot more free time usually). Y’all made this your own and I loved it. GM retrospective, a decent writeup, and fuller thoughts are coming. And possibly some parodies. Edit: I NEARLY FORGOT TO THANK @JNV SPECIFICALLY! Go shower the best co-GM I could have asked for with all due upvotes, praise, and adulation

I have redrawn the Map of Ivinan

I GOT A NEW BIKE I GOT A NEW BIKE I GOT A NEW BIKE AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH IVE NEVER RIDDEN IT BEFORE BUT NOW I GET TO RACE ON IT AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH ITS SO COOL AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

THERES A NEW PERCY JACKSON TRAILOR AS OF LIKE 22 HOURS AGO EHEHHEHEHEHEHEHE

Remember the quiet nights you forgot Remember the old things you once sought Forget today, if it pains you, because the evening comes anyway Recall the day where nothing happened Recall the stranger that you once gladdened Forget today, if it hates you, because the morning comes anyway Forget the times you could have changed Forget the pains that you estranged Remember today, if it forgot you because the next one comes anyway

update on my EP i have one song ready to be demo recorded. one dialogue track ready to be demo recorded. i have two songs with short demo melodies that i need to expand upon for full instrumental demos, then write and tweak lyrics for a full demo recording of both. once all that’s done, and sprinkled in there i’d be working to get money to pay for recording studio time, i record at the studio, get those songs mixed, they come back to me, and i submit them for distribution. after all of that, we’re looking at a december/january release. im sorry it’s taking so long, but i really want this EP to be something i can be proud of. i’m going all out because i want this to be good. hope yall understand. daughters, dates, denial, and death coming December 2023 or January 2024

I didn't get into my school's a capella group, even after a good callback... My closest friend did, though, and I think that makes it hurt more. I'm extremely happy for her, but it's painful, because it was my dream too. We wanted to get in together. And now she's going to all of these meet-ups for dinner and hanging out with them and that was all that I wanted this year. I changed my entire schedule around theirs in case I got in. Everyone knew I wanted to get in. Everyone knew this was my dream. And seeing my closest friend live my dream? That hurts the most.

(This is a long one and does matter greatly for how much you will be seeing me) The time has come I wish it had not, I wish the day had not arrived again... But it has. And I have to take that responsibility. If you haven't guessed, I've been on the Shard waaaay too much. See, the Shard is wonderful, it's a great thing and I love being on here. And... yet... Instead of reading, writing or hanging out with my family, I wind up on the Shard once again. If it was the summer, the amount that I've been doing it would be manageable. Instead... I have to get a load of school done and cannot let myself get distracted, even by something as awesome as here. However... I don't think I have to quit the Shard. Not yet, anyways. And, even if I did quit, it would only be for the school year. The summers would be epic. But... that still wouldn't be satisfying to me. I still wouldn't be able to message some people that I can only message on here. So... you may be wondering "Where is he going with this?" well... That's a good question. I decided to think about it for a good while and realized why I've been spending so much more time on here than I want to, time that I should be working on my actual story or reading. Roleplay. I love role-play so much. It's so much fun. Yet, if, in my future, I find myself role-play non stop on here, I won't be able to get writing done, which is what my career to be someday. Roleplay has helped me soooo muuuuuch in my writing. I can write good characters now, I've learned so much. However, I think I need to set better boundaries if I want to keep doing it. You may be asking if I have a solution to this. I think I do. I may not have to quit all of roleplaying, just... a lot of it. i will have one more week of me doing it how I've been doing it and then... then I will do certain things. I will no longer be roleplaying certain characters or plot lines in the two role-plays that I treasure. Insanity clinic and TLT (Yes, I know it isn't really a role-play, but we've made it one). I will be giving rights to roleplaying them to certain people who I trust to handle them well and at least give them a satisfying ending, if not my exact vision. This is because I still think that they are important and could give some people a fun time and maybe help people get more comfortable with rping characters without having to build their storyline from scratch. Also, I will only be giving a max of two per person (then again, there may be two exceptions to this.) Those certain characters are... Thaidakar (Insanity Clinic): I just... don't like him anymore. He's not fun to me. I would have a better time writing other storylines, or roleplaying other ones. I may or may not give him away to someone else. I don't know. Darkness (TLT): The mad lad can be role-played better by someone else, I just know it. The villain boy I have currently. He's part of the Shadows. And with him comes the ability to rp Shadows for specific things. To the person I give him to, I will give specific instructions. Mythos (TLT): I know, I know, he's a mainstream one, but... he's also not as important to me as Micheal or Spook. The Dark Entity (Insanity Clinic): this guy can either be deleted by someone or used for plot. I'm fine with whatever tbh. Nowhere (TLT): this is a scientist guy if you don't know him. He has a load of Mordite and such. He's great. He's also a former friend of Thaidakar. Impossible (TLT): Nowhere's buff assistant. That is all. And... that should be the ones I give away. All of the Shadows will be mine still, as will Spook, Micheal and Rond. These four will always be the most important to me, so therefore the ones I will keep. If I failed to mention any other characters that people might be interested in taking... sorry. I want these characters to have a good home with other people. What does this actually mean? Well... this means that I won't be as active (hopefully) and, when I am, I'll be able to focus on the stories that I think really deserve to be told. Micheal's and Spook's in specific. This also means that I do not want to be here as much as I have been. It means that, if I keep being on here as I have been, I will be forced to eject for an undefined amount of time. That is why I'm doing what I'm doing. This whole thing is so that I don't have to leave the Shard. It's like that one talk from General Conference: Good, Better, Best. Minecraft roleplaying was good. Shard roleplaying is better. Writing, reading and hanging out with my family and friends is best. Now, this is just for me in specific. If y'all have found your balance, that's wonderful. I myself, though, am still practicing how to get the hang of all of this. I will be sending PMs to people who want to role-play the characters that I've put above. If you want them, lemme know in the replies and I'll tell ya. Also... @Nameless*, ima ping you so that you know about what characters I'm giving to other people. From the random guy on the internet who should be helping getting ready for tonight's dinner, Thaidakar The Ghostblood. P.S. I am a stick.

Today I hung out with my friend. Me, being touch starved, asked for some attention and affection. My friend, who is amazing, graciously provided this in the form of back scratches and head scratches. My reaction after two minutes of this? Crying. Why? No damn clue. As far as I can tell after talking to her about it, my brain does not... love me. I, without fully realizing it, do not love myself. Perhaps that's why I try so hard to help other people love themselves, or ask other people to love me, is because... deep down, I don't love myself. Perhaps that's why I always let myself get sad, and why I'm so bad at accepting affection. Because when someone gives me affection... my brain is silently yet loudly screaming at me that I don't deserve it. Thinking on it, I can hear very clearly what my mind tells me in these moments. You can never be loved. No one can love you. You are ugly. Pale. Skinny. You're different. You're weird. You're annoying. You're alone because no one could ever love you. Everyone's affection is a lie. When I was held by my friend a few weeks ago? 15 minute panic attack, body tensed up, heaving, trying to breathe, and not being able to. When I was given affection today? Tears. Crying. My overall reaction to Luna breaking up with me...? ...Numb acceptance. Welcome to my life.

When you're home alone, right next to the knife drawer, and swear you can hear someone walking around. Then you go like this around the house for ten minutes.

how silly is it that i won yesterday by telling y’all luna and i broke up lol. that’s so goofy silly

I really really really really really want a cat I cannot begin to express how much I want a cat but I can't have a cat and I cannot begin to express the sheer dispair this fact bestows upon me

You know how when you've been reading a book or looking at memes for way too long and stand up way too fast and the world can't close the text menu at the same time as it renders the entity chunks so your FPS and DPI rapidly drop so far that you almost crash the universe

just found a 32 dollar mistcloak online that i can totally use for my cosplay for halloween/dragonsteel con. finding a mistcloak was easily gonna be the hardest part of the cosplay. now comes other fun parts.

hey guys. so it's been about a week, and i've been thinking a lot. i decided y'all deserved a much better goodbye than what i offered. first, i wanna explain why i decided to take a break from the shard. 1. it was not doing good things for me/my mental health, other people on the shard, familial relationships, etc. 2. i was spending WAYYYY too much time on here, and that caused time-management issues > homework buildup > extra stress > depressive episodes 3. i was beginning to be reliant and dependent on the shard and its people, which was an unfair burden for all of you. so i'm sorry. i'm seeing a therapist now! she's awesome, and i've really found some clarity, peace, etc. in my life, and i'm doing so good. again, i'm really sorry for all that depressing, whiny crap i posted consistently. i do think i'll intermittently visit the shard, but it wont even be once a week. just every couple of months to check up on how y'all're doing. ya know. love you guys. <3 see you later.

*grins* I just taught my little sister how to play chess. It was so cute how she was reacting to it. We were playing on a travel chess set I bought sometime because I like to collect chess sets, and she was like "Iwt's a baby chess set!" It was soooo cuuuuute! Little sisters are awesome when they're not screaming.

So I've been debating starting my own writing thread for a while, mostly because I am embarrassed of my writing. I've had a lot of friends and family tell me my writing is good, but I struggle to believe them mostly because of my age or their relation to me. I'm not exactly sure if they are telling the truth so giving my writing to complete strangers is my solution. I want as much feedback as anyone is willing to give. If nobody ever sees this I am fine with that. I have just come to terms with myself and decided that at least getting some of my horrible writing out there is a step forward. This will hopefully give me motivation to write as well. So hopefully I can become a better writer because of this. If this becomes inactive for a while so be it, but this will succeed to help me in some way I'm sure. WARNING: My grammar sucks. If you fear bad grammar abort mission now. I write based off emotion and my thoughts, not on grammar or grammatical correctness. (Plus im horrible at editing) So here it is. My Writing Corner of Chaos. My absolute passion, pride, and joy given to absolute strangers to correct, critique, and enjoy. Here is my first scene. (Based on #4 of my suggestions for @CalanoCorvus) Scene 1: Goodbye

Snow dots the rocky tips of the mountains like stars in the night sky. Below it, trees as bright as fire are thick and full; they are a warm blanket, a patchwork quilt of reds and yellows and oranges. Their colors seem even brighter sandwiched between the stormy gray sky above and the mud below. In the valley are dozens of houses, protected by the mountains that surround them on every side. In one such house, a pot of apple cider bubbles on the stove. It’s made from the extra juice of the dozens of homegrown apples that sit in bowls on the counter, slowly being transformed into applesauce. On another counter are buckets and baskets of vegetables, waiting to be cut, frozen, freeze-dried, bottled. Several midnight eggplants rest in a bed of shockingly green basil. Fennel seeds are placed into brown paper bags to dry. A basket is filled to the brim with hundreds of green beans, another with raspberries. There’s a box of tomatoes, a box of peaches, and more apples. Zucchini, yellow squash, melons, and cucumbers are also present. A crash of thunder booms outside, followed by rain and lightning, but the house is warm and safe. A fireplace sits ready for logs. Mist slowly descends on the mountains, hiding the leaves from view. Eventually the mountains too disappear, leaving only the wet, green valley. Horses and cows graze peacefully in their pastures, sucking in the last days before snow falls and it grows too cold to stay outside. Simply put, it is fall.

My old Latin teacher, who I haven't seen since last year, has been reading SA. One hour ago, I received this email out of the blue (Redacted to remove identifying info): I have the best teachers.

i have been aggressively flirted with for like an hour this morning i am so flustered rn

I feel sooooooo maaaaad right now. Like pure anger. I just got an email from my best friend, who's down where I used to live. She told me about several things. One of those made me want to charge right down there and punch someone in the face. (sorta rant time) Basically, someone's bullying (I will refer to the bully as "The bully" from now on) my best friend with a looooooaaaaaad of different things and she seems to be refusing to do anything about it. It's affecting her relationship with a mutual friend of ours negatively, it's affecting her personally too. I typed out 3 giant paragraphs to send to her after I have the rest of the email written out. At this rate, I can't get school done without feeling an enormous hatred for the actions of the bully. And the fact that I danced with the bully once- uuuuuuugh. I don't even know how the bully is related to another friend of mine. He turned out decent, but his sister, the bully, did not. I want to get a plane ticket and come there on the night of a dance, bring out a giant sword and attack the bully with all of the might I can muster if my best friend doesn't do anything about what's been happening. This is perhaps one of my biggest regrets from moving away. *big ol groan in wanting to rip something apart*

Oathbringer spoilers: Words of Radiance spoilers: Oathbringer and early Alloy of Law spoilers Yumi and the Nightmare Painter spoilers:

I can’t even with today. I thought I looked good today, I thought I looked okay. It was the first day in weeks I woke up and walked out the door not feeling like a dumpster fire. I put my hair up today and my friends messed with it several times so I had to redo it, which by the end of the day it was a mess. Some stupid kids in my grade kept giving me dirty looks for existing. I literally couldn’t sit still in my math class today and had to sit and shift awkwardly to keep myself focused and fiddle with stuff to keep myself focused which got more weird glances. I am insecure cause I literally ripped my freaking thumb nail off by accident and have to wear a bandage and toss a friend of mine grabbed my hand to drag me somewhere and immediately looked disgusted before letting go. Someone took a picture of me (I have like photo out of my thousands of photos in my phone of myself because I hate my appearance) and they really had to go “Well… your smiles… cute.” like they had to find something to love about me and even my smile was horrible. A younger friend with literally no filter went “You have dandruff… and greasy hair… have you taken a shower in the last three weeks?” I literally took one last nigh but my body hates me. I try so hard, my dad even said my hair was so pretty this morning. I felt so good. And finally, the cherry on top that ruined my day, made me literally break down when I got home. My literal closest friend, the only person I have in my life to go to for physical attention and other crap. My best friend was on the bus with me and a couple people were making fun of my hair (they are my friends) and it got a little more personal and insecure attacking than just a joke. I literally went dead silent and stared at the ceiling. She, sitting right next to me was continuing the conversation with them even tho it was obvious I was really hurt by it. I lean over and lay my head on her shoulder and she goes to kiss me on the head or lay her head on mine or something and immediately stops. I then hear her mutter under her breath, “nevermind I don’t want to touch that actually.” I literally pulled my head back and had to resist the urge to break out sobbing for half an hour till I got home. I hate my hair. I hate my smile. I hate my face. I hate my acne. I hate my nose. I hate my body. I hate my hands. I hate my teeth. I hate my laugh. I hate the fact that I work through my horrible day with the sole motivation to see that one friend and he a hug and I’m even too disgusting for her. I hate everything. I am incapable of communicating my need for physical attention, insecurities, and pain so I just go silent. Why did this all have to happen on the one day I was feeling good?

A quick google says that whether a metal is magnetic has to do with the spin of the electrons all being in sync. So I'd submit that a highly ordered shard like Honor would have a magnetic godmetal, but a chaotic shard like Ruin would have a non-magnetic godmetal. Disclaimer: I have no idea what I'm talking about and am just guessing.

Anakin and Padme throughout the Prequel Trilogy: I truly, deeply love you I'm haunted by the kiss that you never should have given me I like sand (3/10, Bad writing) Anakin and Padme in a single two-minute scene: Just checking up on each other's lives Captain Rex keeping watch to warn him of Obi-Wan Obi-Wan totally knows and asks after Padme when Anakin tries to play it off (11/10, Beautiful) Also, this cut line from Obi-Wan in Revenge of the Sith: "I am not blind, Padme. Though I have tried to be, for Anakin's sake, and for yours. Anakin has loved you since the day you met, in that horrible junk shop on Tatooine. He's never even tried to hide it, though we do not speak of it. We... pretend that I don't know. And I was happy, too, because it made him happy. You made him happy, where nothing else ever truly could."

Hadley!

I wrote a thing. There's a story behind this one. If y'all want I'll tell you. It'll definitely turn into yet another long rant about it. But you know it's okay. It's all gonna be okay.

I'm afraid, and my heart has broken. It will heal, And I will be brave again. But right now, There is no light left to find. There is no hope left to share. The pieces of my heart Spread like dust in the wind. And I try not to care. But the truth is, I liked having people to Always be there. My fear Spreads faster Than lightning through the sky. And I try not to care. But the truth is I liked it, Not being So scared. This moment will end, But right now, There's no light. I believe I'll find peace, But some pieces Will always Be missing.

Race #2 was today!! First, I guess I never really mentioned how my last one went, probably because it couldn't have gotten much worse. I got heat exhaustion and had to pull off after my first lap, which was crazy disappointing. (I didn't have to pull off, but I was kinda throwing up and freezing cold even though it was almost a hundred degrees out, so it seemed like the best idea.) So today, because I didn't finish the last race, I was starting pretty much dead last, in 60th. But the funny thing is, even though I hoped last time and it hurt so bad, I chose to hope again today. I chose to hope and believe, and today it didn't hurt, or lead to tears, or failure. I passed 31 people and ended in 29th. It was a really fun race and it went well, and this also means I'm not completely out of the running for state. (The way they do state is complicated, basically you get points based on where you place and the top 25 for points go). It was epic. I passed 4 people in the last 20 feet to the finish line. I can't feel my legs, of course, but it was awesome. Moral of the story I guess, it's always better to hope. It hurts more to expect you'll succeed. It hurts more to care. It takes more work. But it pays off. It's always better to live your life hoping. Always. Whether you're literally covered in blood or mentally tearing yourself into pieces, hope makes it okay. It doesn't fix the problems, it doesn't take away the work, but it makes it okay that you're in those situations, because you won't always be there. <3 <3 <3 You're all wonderful, incredible people who deserve to live and feel joy.

got a new job first time not working at some corporate chain its so different and better its just better like working at a fast food chain is so degrading, and i don't think i realized exactly how bad it was until i had something to contrast it with. this job is at a local place, there's one location, its been owned by the same family since 1953, and its so cool. like here's just one example: i went in for my interview, and it went well, so the guy asks me "what were you thinking for pay rate?" and i respond "well the listing was for 16/hr", and he goes, "let's try and get you 17" like that's crazy corporate places will pay you the minimum they possibly can, and this guy's just like "nah, you're cool, you deserve more" i love it so much

Way of Kings : Heh heh I love this picture.

(Warning, this is a long one, but a really important one in regards to me and the Shard. Please, please, read it if you want to know beforehand about certain things.) I am realizing how much I've grown over my time online and just altogether. This journey... It's the journey that I've loved, and the destination I am seeing come into view, even if it is still far off in the distance. this is both a goodbye and a raise a glass to more times post. I am not saying goodbye, but I also am in a way. Because... who I was is going in favor of who I am becoming. Someone who is independent. Someone who can pay attention. Someone who can take responsibility for his actions and can make those actions responsible in the first place. Someone who can help others appreciate the journey. I see myself becoming a better person, but I cannot help but see my faults and wonder "Have I really progressed?" But... I have. I do think that I have. Looking back on my older posts, I was abrasive, I was ill tempered and got scathing when someone presented an opinion I didn't like. I look back at that with deep shame. But... I also see how getting to that low helped me to realize that I could go to the opposite, go to my high, get to a place where I can see their opinions, compare them to my own, and say "You know what, that's fine. They have their opinion and I have mine. And, at the end of the day, we need to be unified despite our differences." All of you have helped me grow so much as a person. I'm sorry for all the ridiculous, highly opinionated, at times offensive, horrible things I've said in the past. I'm not proud of those moments, but I see how they've helped me become who I am today, and so I am grateful for them in that. My time on the Shard might become a bit more limited soon... I have to get used to doing a lot more school work than I'm used to doing. I'm taking on a bigger work load than before. I'm realizing that to get into college eventually, I need to be working more and paying attention. I've been needing to take higher priority to my work. I haven't done so in the past, unfortunately. Which is why this post is here in the first place. I'm here to warn you that, if it gets too much for me, I might have to quit for a season. Just for a little while so that I can regain control of my school, of my personal life and take the time to go make a few friends (and no, that doesn't mean actually create friends out of shoes, or write some to life... *sudden idea pops into head*). But.. I really do need to be doing more in my own life instead of fabricating a digital life on here. While it is fun, it isn't what I need. In the past... well... while, I've been realizing that even if something is good, it isn't always what I need. A prime example of this is something recently. I recently started reading Babel. I was loving it so much, but then I started feeling horrible about it. I don't know why. I don't know what was wrong with it. I was loving it. But I had a horrible feeling inside, paired with some feelings from one or two other things I did wrong. I knew I had to quit because that's what the spirit was telling me (I think? I was in a kinda funk with spiritual things a few days back and had to figure that all out. Still figuring out tbh...). I've really been learning to prioritize the things that will benefit me in the long run, such as writing, hanging out with family, making new friends where I am, school work, scripture study, etc. And... in that... the Shard isn't one of them. I love the Shard, I love this place, and I want to stay here. But I really don't want to be constantly on here as I have been in the past, as I have done in part today when I was trying to write. I just sometimes randomly open it up if I'm not focusing on my writing as much in a given moment. I hope that I can stay here, I hope that, in the end, I will be able to have control enough over myself that I will be able to have a specific time when I can come on here and hang out. But currently I really need to focus on other things. And that is also why this is partially a goodbye. I will not be as active for at least a few weeks. I'll be on here Saturdays definitely, but not all day. I'll be on here for maybe like half an hour a day at most for a good while until I find the proper balance. I love all of you, I love this place, I love the how it's run, I love the mods (I wouldn't have said that as easily (Not to say that I didn't like the mods before, I did like the mods before, but yeah-) before I started listening Shardcast, but after- my gosh- it made me realize that they aren't just the big scary people in the background who occasionally hammer someone into ban-nation (), they're here because they're nerds too.), I love all of the theories, the RPs, the reputation levels, the revolutionary causes about the rep limit, the art commission's, the chatting, the fierce arguments about whether Kaladin is a good character or not... It's all just so wonderful. I don't want to end it, I really don't. But I have to realize that there is a possibility I will have to end this experience, I will have to stop coming on here, I will have to not talk to a lot of you again. And that scares me and makes me sad all at once. I don't want to leave. I'm sorry that this post has been so long, so conflicting, so convoluted and contradicting, but I really feel like I had to write it. And, so, in conclusion... I'm sorry for everything. I won't be on here much for a good while, but that is only a thing of what has to be so that I can run instead of a meandering walk. This has to be for so many reasons, a portion of which I discussed above (as anyone who has gotten to this point will realize). So... goodbye, my friends! Till Saturday! I won't be fully back for a long time. I will miss all of you, those who are active and those who are not! I love all of you and remember that someone believes in you, that someone loves you for who you are truly. Remember that someone enjoys your company and thinks that you can accomplish anything that you set your mind to. And... most importantly remember that you deserve love. You deserve to be loved and to be cherished. You deserve to share your opinion and to talk to others. You deserve to be your own person. You deserve to take control of your destiny and shape it how you would! P.S. @CalanoCorvus I have officially made Cross Stitching In The Morning one of my writing songs. P.P.S. God be with you till we meet again, my dear friends!

The Lord is truly wonderful. Amazing Grace pretty much sums up how I'm feeling right now. Same with Rock of Ages. I feel better than I have in a few days, which might not seem like a lot, but it is, for me. I feel not that I am perfect again in Christ, but that I am becoming perfect in Christ that I might, one day, in the eternities, attain perfection. Eventually. And, for now, striving and trying to get there is enough. Getting back up when falling is the name of the game, not being perfect on the first try, or the second, or even into the hundreds of tries (that's at least how it feels like it's been for me, if not thousands). I will become perfect, someday. And... I will have to be okay with that. I will have to be okay with the fact that I will be making mistakes and I hope that you all can come to terms with that too, because we all will fall. Don't ever mistake that, repentance isn't a punishment. Hardly. It's a part of the plan. It's a part of the plan filled with imperfect people striving to be better. God knew that we would fall, so he provided a way for us to stand back up and continue the race on the straight and narrow path to the glories of Heaven and beyond. Ahh, this is part of what appeals to me of the gospel, it isn't just sitting around the Celestial kingdom, it's constantly growing, constantly become more, constantly advancing through the afterlife that brings me in closer. Oh, how I love the idea of it and I hope that I can make it to the state where I can continue that progression. Because... sitting around, stagnant, even in glory, doesn't feel like it would be satisfying for me. I know, I know... it's just that it would feel stuffy. Maybe those feelings would get taken away, maybe I would just feel at peace. But, even still, evolving through an eternal life is what I want to get to. That is the end goal for me. Or, well, the endless goal as it would seem. I want to attain what Yeshua and Heavenly Father are offering unto us to become in the future. I close this big ol' hunky post with this: Please, please, please don't ever think you aren't worthy of love. Please remember that repentance is there for a reason. Remember that anyone who says that you don't deserve lover or that repentance is a punishment is fundamentally wrong and needs to reevaluate their knowledge of the gospel, despite what ranking in the church or outside they might have. Remember that we all matter and are all necessary, even if we don't feel like it. Even if we're weaker than others, or don't have a testimony as much as some other people in our lives, we are necessary and are loved. Okay? Let's mutually agree on that- The Lord loves us very dearly and I love all of you as my spirit siblings in Christ and as my neighbors. I love all of you and I hope you can feel the spirit and can get repentance when necessary! Remember: God loves you! God be with you till we meet again, my dear friends!

In honor Spooky Season I am now Fadracula

If you're into anime, then chances are you've heard of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. ...actually, scratch that. You've probably heard of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. It's in the name that this isn't any ordinary show, and you would be completely right in assuming that it's absolutely nothing like other animes. It's something of a monolith in the anime community: there are the regular Weebs, and then there are the JoJo's fans who must never be disturbed. Those who love this show are of a different breed of nerd. The problem is that curiosity will get the better of you, sooner or later. You'll say to yourself, "I'll watch a few episodes and see if it's any good," and chances are that'll be the end of it. If the style and storytelling doesn't catch your eye, you'll give up - but give it a few episodes, and you'll be doomed to return. All JoJo's fans begin by loving the show ironically. Its battle scenes are simultaneously incredibly realistic and fantastical; each episode's plotline is both extremely predictable and arbitrary. It's a character-driven show, and yet the characters are incredibly one-dimensional. But the show knows this. Which means that if you love JoJo's Bizarre Adventure ironically, then you begin to love it unironically and once that happens, there is no going back

HAPPY HOBBIT DAY

I totally missed my second Shardiversary!! Sorry for that folks, y'all deserve some recognition! While I haven't been quite as active recently, I still am very grateful to have found this community even two whole years later!! Man, I'm starting to feel old... I would mention people individually and thank them for the things they do, but I feel like I don't interact often enough to make an accurate "thank you note" so to say. Thanks for a great (though slightly inactive on my part) year, my friends.

The Queen of Hearts' hedgehog sailed in between the arch, hitting the wicket with a solid thump. "At last, a perfect shot!" she cried triumphantly. The others on the croquet-ground looked at her uncertainly. A venturesome quokka spoke up. "Ma'am, that intruder you're looking for who's still abroad--" The Queen's head spun in rage. "That's right! Off with your head!" The Quokka jumped up in surprise, but was tackled by the Queen's flamingoes. He disappeared in a shower of pink wings. The Queen then spun to the hapless Ace of Spades. "Gardener! Lie flat!" He meekly obeyed, revealing Alice crouching behind him, small and afraid. "OFF WITH HER HEA--" Alice heard nothing more. Dimly, she thought of the Caterpillar she'd met, and how rude he had been to her. He was wilting on a leaf somewhere now, she was sure. But she could only write on a leaf, and so she did, even as the Queen seemed to draw closer. She looked at what was in her hand, and was shocked to find she'd written her letters backwards. The teachers at school would never forgive her for that. Luckily, the hall of mirrors she was in lent itself for easy reading. A title seemed to suggest itself to her confused eyes... A more substantial writeup is forthcoming but y'all want results In C2, Scars of Hathsin was killed! He was a Caterpillar of the Animals of Wonderland, and held the Jack of Diamonds! _Stick_ succumbed to the madness! She was the Mad Hatter of the Tea Party faction, and held the Two of Spades! Labyrinth was executed by the Queen of Hearts! She was Alice of the People of Wonderland, and held the Ace of Spades! Wonko the Sane was executed by the Queen of Hearts! He was a Quokka of Wonderland of the Animals of Wonderland, and held the Eight of Clubs! The Cards minigame has ended! Unless otherwise noted, you have lost all previous roles, alignments, items, abilities, cards, and victory conditions. You should have received at least some of those anew for the next game in your GM PM. The Queen of Hearts achieved her victory condition of executing two players, one of which was Alice, the Knave of Hearts, or the Cheshire Cat! The Knave of Hearts achieved his victory condition of surviving and stealing the Queen of Hearts’ tarts! The Tea Party achieved their victory condition of having every living player sit to tea! The Animals of Wonderland failed their victory condition of having every living member of a different faction (at least two) be the same non-Medium size! The Deck of Cards failed their victory condition of having one living member of each suit in the Cards doc! The People of Wonderland failed their victory condition of preventing the Queen of Hearts from executing Alice, the Cheshire Cat, and the Knave of Hearts! ’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe; All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe. The Jabberwocky minigame has now begun! It will last three cycles, concluding on C6. The following factions and information are now public: This minigame will last three cycles. Its chief special mechanic is brillig, the fourth cycle of the game and the first cycle of the minigame, in which all players will gain a special ability. Factions Creatures of the Looking-Glass: Village faction. Must kill all Bandersnatches, and the Jabberwock, to win. (Do not win if all Bandersnatches are killed before the Jabberwock is dead.) Bandersnatches: The Eliminator faction. Must hide from the Jabberwock long enough to gain a majority over all village-aligned groups. Have a doc and a group kill each cycle. Jabberwock: The Serial Killer. Must remove all Bandersnatches from the game to win. Has a kill each cycle. Look to your PM for your faction and role information. Cycle Four has begun! It will end on Monday 4 September at 9:30 PM EDT. It is currently brillig! There is a madness today, with a one-vote minimum. In case of a tie, a random player will be killed. Good luck! Player List: