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I ran out of reputation to give people on this thread. How the Orders read Windruner: Has a sappy side but will never admit it. Lightweaver: Loves mystery novels but is to good at figuring out the endings so gets frustrated. Tuethwatcher: Has read everything and is happy to give you a recommendation. Stoneward: Exclusively reads from one genera. Skybreaker: Has no time for frivolity and restricts reading to the rule books. Bondsmith: Reads works by everyone in the hope that it will bring them understanding of others. Elsecaller: Restricts reading to serious works that improve the mind. Dustbringer: Gets highly frustrated if the book they are reading does not contain an explosion every two pages. Edgedancer: Reads works by obscure and long forgotten artists. Willshaper: Enjoys fantasy. Brandon Sanderson is a favorite author.

I'm proud of this. The second one's for you, BoS.

Out-of-context quote for the day: "Now, toast, in a violent fashion, without warning."

Shardholders Shardholders: Age of Uli-Da Shardholders: Sel War Shardholders: Endgame Rayse: First Shardholder Rayse: Winter Braize Rayse: Shard War Bavadin Bavadin: Dark Shard Bavadin: Hoidnarok Staring: Bavadin, Rayse, Uli-Da, Tanavast, Aona, Skai, Edgli, Ati, Leras, and Slammer.

As it would be a conflict of interests for my lord to sign up for this necessary cleansing, I shall do so in his stead. These spambots are no match for the power of properly applied British culture.

The six affinity stones were the powar stone, the realty stone, the spooce stone, the mond stone, the toome stone, and the sooul stone.

He want to get all 6 affinity stones.

Hello! I'm from Indonesia. I haven't met anyone IRL in my area who has read Brandon Sanderson's works except. So, here I am. I've read Mistborn Era 1, Elantris, Stormlight Archive, and Arcanum Unbounded. I haven't read Warbreaker, Mistborn Era 2, and White Sand, but they're already on my list. As for non-Cosmere ones, I've read The Reckoners and Skyward. Steelheart was the first Brandon Sanderson's book I read! My dream is to have a shelf full of Cosmere books (and others)!

This is by far one of my favorite music jokes! Q: Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens? A: They only said, "Bach, Bach."

As read above.

I'm mainly placing this in cosmere because of the WoB that needs to be included. So to start with, we've been given this WoB on the progression of technology in Scadrial. Spoilered for length, followed by the relevant portion. So the we had step one of the Metallic Arts, which was just using the powers themselves. We're in the process of seeing step 2, which is technology that relies on the interaction of those powers in the form of Medallions and the bands... Which I happen to believe relies heavily on Hemalurgy But step 3... Step 3 is where things get interesting... And also where I think things take a decidedly dark turn. Allomancy has diluted over time, and the genes have gotten weaker, but this has reached a saturation point. At least it has in the north... The south is decidedly weaker. There's an important point about allomancy in the south though, just like allomancy prior to Rashek. So what happens when the north and south mix heavily and the allomantic genes dilute further? All scadrians, power or not, have the seeds of the Metallic Arts in them... And understanding of Hemalurgy, now that it's being used is going to grow, whether Harmony approves or not. So what I think is going to happen, is that knowledge of the Metallic Arts is going to increase to the point that Hemalurgy can take those seeds from anyone. A single person obviously isn't going to grant you anything usable... But they aren't limited to a single person. People are fantastic at rationalization, and giving up a piece of yourself on your deathbed to better the lives of everyone is an easy thing to rationalize. Especially if that gift you're giving is what enables all of the fantastic technology that enables FTL travel, and who knows what other amazing and miraculous feats. So in short I think that the basis of technology in the future of Scadrial is going to rely on Hemalurgy, and it will be societally ingrained and accepted by the majority, and adamantly protested and opposed by others. Era 4 scadrian technology will be the Cosmere's Soylent Green. Edit: just going to insert this post here to make things more clear. Let me try to clarify a bit, because I think that as the genes dilute further, and the technology progresses, the magics generally are going to be much less things that people are born with, and much more focused on the technology that will become pervasive. I think it will be known that the "gift" that people give up is the basis for the proliferation of the technologies that allow everyone to live in a world of wonders. So I don't think it will be an attempt to assuage guilt. They'll be taught that it's just the way that things are and it will be accepted because if there is one thing that humans are good at, it's rationalizing away the things we should question. I don't think the majority will believe there's anything to feel guilty about.

Hello everyone, I’ve been a fan of Sanderson since I listened to Way of Kings in the dead of night doing graveyard shifts in a medical laboratory, and I haven’t looked back since! I had my WoK signed yesterday by the man himself and that got me super pumped to go deeper into the Cosmere (and everything else)! I guess there’s no better place than the 17th shard, which I’ve been meaning to become apart of, so here we go! I’ve read all of his works except some of the non-cosmere short stories, which I am working on, and anything else that’s more obscure and not published. My first question is are there any links in this forum to some of his works that are not published? (Like for example, I’ve heard about Dragonsteel, and I’m pretty sure that’s the name of his store, but is that a novella as well?) Thanks!

Especially when considering that he forgot to put on pants.

He got fame tatoo’d on his head

Jasnah then threw a rock at Hoid, the god of mischief (according to the Horneaters).

I've never thought about it that way, mostly because there never really was much mention of it in the books. And as this is a memes thread, enjoy another Moash hating one. Though, honestly, I don't hate him any more than I do Amaram or become frustrated at Marasi.

The orders adopting a dog. Windrunner: Adopts a large strong dog then trains it as a service pet to help protect people. Skybreaker: Makes sure he’s adopting from a credible source and that all the animals are well provided for. Dustbringer: Adopts the fiercest looking dog they can find and doesn’t listen when is told the dog might be too much them. Edgedancer: Goes to a shelter and adopts all the lonely dogs that have been forgotten. Truthwatcher: Adopts a quiet dog that loves nothing more than to cuddle and lay in patches of sunlight. Lightweaver: No one knows what kind of dog she adopted. It changes every time they look at it. Elsecaller: Spends months researching dog breeds before finally decideding on one. Willshaper: Chooses an energetic dog and takes it everywhere with her. Stoneward: Adopts the same breed of dog that he had as a child. Even names it the same name. Bondsmith: Adopts a large family of dogs that all love each other and can’t be separated.

The reaction she has is identical to how she is at every point she's been put up against suppressed memories in the past, and we know that's she's at her Fourth "ideal" My money is on her having it and not allowing herself to know.

Odium throws them out of his organisation and goes back to using humans there are enough villains in the story already without adding lawyers to the mix

The whole crushing/ripping thing is just inconsistent in my opinion. The lateral force problem is... Actually not a problem in my opinion, it's just not understood well in world at all. As you said, we know that you can redirect where you are able to push on a metal from Kelsier and the bar. I also believe that you can alter where the push originates on your own body, both from Zane's hovering flip in the air, and this I don't see how either of those feats would be possible other than by altering where the push effects the body. So I think that to some extent that is done subconsciously by all of them and it's just written off as "balance." There's also this WoB showing that it's more complicated than Brandon ever intended. For Iron... Man, Iron is just broken. Brandon does a great job of things, but there's definitely some points that things get... Fudged.

If Secret History has taught me anything, it's that Kell himself doesn't know if he's a hero or a villain. Franky, I think he's tried to dodge the philosophical implications introspection would bring. The Lord Ruler gave his wife a death sentence. So, did Kell seek to overthrow him because it's the right thing, or because of revenge? Kell doesn't know. He did what he felt was right, but he never stopped to ask if he felt it was right for selfish or selfless reasons. And I think that really is the best way to look at Kelsier. While I think he considers the morals of his actions I don't think he considers why he's doing them. I also think he tends to justify things under the big picture. He didn't make a to do about killing killing people because in his mind it was a step towards taking down the Lord Ruler. In his mind it was just a step towards the net good. In other words, he seems to have an end justifies the means outlook. If I really had to pin down Kelsier's morals, I'd actually resort to the D&D system and put him in chaotic neutral. Now, normally I dislike the neutral alignments. I see good = selfless and evil = selfish and very very few people are able to exist in between that. Kell is one of those people. If we ever get a clear and decisive answer on his motives, I would reclassify him, but for now, I'm sticking with Kell being one of fiction's best example of a chaotic neutral character.

Now you remind me of Ark. I myself am literally the least emo person. I only threaten to kill people once an hour.

The ten orders at a Pizza-party: The Windrunner is going around checking if anybody is allergic to anything, and warning people that the pizza is very hot. When they get around to eating their own pizza, it's cold. They stare off into the distance, thinking about the many, many dangers of baked dough with tomato sauce and toppings. The Skybreaker demands a discount when the pizza takes more than 30 minutes to arrive and checks twice if everyone's pizza slices are the same size. The Dustbringer wants their pizza extra, super spicy so they don't have to share with anyone. The Edgedancer shares their pizza with everyone, and reminds them that a lot of other people aren't as fortunate as they are. The Truthwatcher foresees that they'll have indigestion if they eat too much pizza, but they offer to share half of theirs with the Dustbringer. The Lightweaver's first truth is that they prefer calzones to pizza. They also freak out the pizza delivery guy by lightweaving themself to look exactly like him. The Elsecaller decides that the logical thing to do is to Soulcast their pizza into something healthy with the maximum amount of nutritional value. It doesn't taste good, but they tell everyone it's brainfood. The Willshaper orders a pizza with literally everything on it, then walks around asking if they can try a slice of everyone else's pizza too. The Stoneward orders the same pizza they always do, Margherita. They are extremely satisfied. And of course the Bondsmith is the one who invited everybody to the pizza party. They order a huge family size pizza for everyone to share. And garlic bread. And mozzarella sticks. Food brings people together.

How the Ten Orders Date: Windrunners: That love interest who notices the protagonist being attacked and shows up in the climax somehow to save them. Skybreakers: Refuses to sneak out, drink, be intimate before marriage, etc. Dustbringers: Secretly dating your ex, and planning to kill you both. Edgedancers: Just casually dating, but hilarious and sweet. Always remembers the anniversary. Truthwatchers: Take forever to admit they like you, then another forever to ask you out. Got their spren to whisper advice so they seem experienced. Lightweavers: Definitely cheating on you, but nobody can ever prove it. Elsecallers: Has dated a lot before. Will probably break up with you before you can them. Willshapers: Knows the best date spots, and will be happy to take you there. Stonewards: Probably married that steady high school partner. The only person in their class to do so. Bondsmiths: Extremely loyal. Will love you for the rest of your lives. How the Ten Orders Play Video Games: Windrunners: Keeps annoying the Dustbringer by throwing themselves in front of every shot the enemy makes. Skybreakers: Learns the controls the fastest and knows the rulebook better than anyone. Dustbringers: That one person who trolls the rest of the group by killing them all and acting like it was an NPC. (Nobody is fooled.) Edgedancers: Snacks while playing. Plays the game simply to play the game. Loves it and has a lot of fun. Truthwatchers: Just has to find every Easter egg and secret. Succeeds. Lightweavers: Hacks into the game’s code to auto-win, but covers their tracks excellently. Elsecallers: Looks up an online guide to the game, because why bother doing what someone else has already done? Willshapers: Reaches the end of every level before anyone else, then goes back to help the Truthwatcher. Stonewards: Gets stuck on the first level because they chose the tank character. Bondsmiths: Tries to settle the trash talk, picked the team game. How the Ten Orders Sanderfan: (Yes, that’s a verb now.) Windrunners: Is so well-loved for being on everyone’s side that they become a God Beyond on the Shard within days. Skybreakers: Almost all of them are mods or admins. THEY KNOW ALL. Dustbringers: The spammers and haters. They enjoy starting wars. Edgedancers: Prefers forum games, and generally wins them. Truthwatchers: Lurks in the corner, but doesn’t often participate in discussions. When they do, they’re always right and introduce new info no one knew about. Lightweavers: Makes tons of dummy accounts, gets promptly found out, rarely posts anything of substance (pun intended, of course) unless it’s in the gallery. Elsecallers: Hangs out on the Coppermind or Arcanum. Singlehandedly completes both websites. Willshapers: Goes to every signing and asks Brandon the questions nobody else can even begin to comprehend. Rulers of the RAFO. Stonewards: Has been there the longest, since the fandom’s creation. Never left it. Bondsmiths: Promotes all the sites in an attempt to join them as one. Secretly carries a lot of influence and is occasionally more well-known than the admins and mods.

Now I can't shake off the idea of the ten protagonists living at some house in the suburbs.

How the orders would react when their local mayor wants them to repaint the playground. Windrunner: Would repaint the park. Then add safety signs. And maybe some rubber corners on rough edges for the kids. Skybreaker: "On what legal basis?" Dustbringer: "If there was no playground. There would be nothing to repaint. *insert beaming smile here* " Edgedancer: Slides all around the playground while painting the mayors name all around so that people don't forget who initiated it. Truthwatcher: Would see in the future that one of the other orders would repaint the playground. Then stay very far away from it given the outcome of the repainting. Lightweaver: Would lie about agreeing on repainting the park. Then stealing the paint canisters to create his/her own personal artform. Then lie about stealing the paint canisters. Elsecaller: "Why?" Willshaper: Would agree to paint the playground. Then end up playing on the playground. Finally wandering somewhere else forgetting about the entire thing. Stoneward: Would agree to paint the playground. Start painting. Then stubbornly won't stop painting as "it isn't good enough". Bondsmith: Make the mayor repaint the playground himself/herself.

Hi! So I made this account a while ago, but due to life getting in the way I unfortunately forgot about this amazing site. Brandon Sanderson is my favorite author and I've read a lot of his books. I heard about 17th Shard through a good friend of mine and I'm really excited to be here!

She explained to Thor

I think children of non-ascended parents should get minor ability, or affinity as you suggested. Affinity for something related to their parent's power. As for the names, Changeling is good, and Legacy sounds fine. Descendant could also work, with a capital "D". It makes sense that children of Natural magic creatures/gods have some power but I also want to prevent a bunch of people creating tons of magical children. I have the impression that a truly ascended god wouldn't be much interested in having children, unless they were perhaps a fertility god/goddess, but even then. The way we've set up divinities in this world gives the impression that once ascended they sort of lose interest in mundane human affairs like governance, etc. But that's just my opinion.

Welcome to the Shard! Don't take any cookies offered to you here, they're not to be trusted if you wish your soul to remain unaltered. As to the unpublished stuff, yes, there's links to that in a lot of places. There's an Aether of Night thread where you can request a copy of the manuscript to Aether of Night, which is a full (albeit unpublished and rudimentary [for BSandy]) novel contained within the Unpublished Works section (linked below) which has pretty much everything on the unpublished stuff that we know of/have access to. https://www.17thshard.com/forum/forum/79-unpublished-works/ What's your favorite magic system of the cosmere?

Ooh, another POV. Hmm... Chapter 4 - (pg.1) - "ten homewolds" - typo. - (pg.1) - The difficulty I have with the epigraph is that it's not clear that it's referring to the original incursion by the LC. I guess there's no army or drain this time, but that's not been confirmed yet, so until R refers to S's intervention, there's some chance it could be a retrospective description of what is happening now. - (pg.1) - I'm confused. Where are we? And when are we? Who is this other apprentice that he's starting at and where did they come in? - (pg.2) - "Ever since the presence in his head had made itself known in his head" - Flows better if the parts of the object are kept together, I think. Also, again, at first glance, I thought this was happening now. Hence, suggest adding 'had'. And I'm not really clear what his logic is here. Is he saying the entity made him more confident? - (pg.2) - "You thought you might be able to help MA?” He asked E" - 'he'. Part of the same sentence. - (pg.3) - Where did the other apprentice go? - (pg.4) - "their group filed on with representatives of all ten species filed on" - You keep splitting the object of the sentence by put the verb in the middle of it. - (pg.4) - Wait a minute. They filed on, now S is back on the platform holding the banister. I assumed he filed on with the rest of them. Unclear, I think. And this new apprentice, she's in this group and open the tram? No description despite the fact that S was looking at her. - (pg.4) - "M a j i C and C" - This is starting to bug me. You never used to do this, putting M plural in front of two m's and capitalising it. We can argue the toss back and forth about the syntax, but my main point is that you haven't done this in any of the other stories that I can recall and I think it's weird, 'cause my brain always tells me it's one person. It's all over the place now. I just don't see why it's necessary. Why not just say C and C, or IF and HD? it just all seems so cluttered with titles every time an m appears int he story. I guess it's only in S's POV, but it just makes me like S POVs less than I did before, and they are (and always have been) my least favourite, because he's the least competent and confident. - (pg.4) - "a deep pealing sound" - So, is this a different noise to the one before? I presume it is, or he would have said 'That sounded happened again.' - (pg.4) - Ah, he does. But why not on the first instance, if it was the same noise? - (pg.5) - "he signed"- He's a bit late to the party. His response comes several seconds after the sound, and the responses of the others. - (pg.5) - "That's very observant" - And that's very condescending. - (pg.5) - "damage to the Dome" and "some remnant of the drain" - Eh? But those things happened ages ago, why would this sounds only start now? - (pg.5) - "Don't cry in front of them. Don't throw up." - I roll may eyes and keep reading. - (pg.6) - "crest of feathery hair K's" - Typo: no apostrophe. - (pg.6) - "beltknife" - Not a word, two words. Typo? - (pg.8) - "not all prejudices common on his homeworld were true" - I know it's his thought, and so entitled to be grammatically 'incorrect', but are prejudices not valid or invalid? - (pg.8) - "head incline" - This does't sound right, to me. Incline as a noun is a slope, of course. Incline as a verb, to me, associates more readily with someone having the inclination towards some mood or action, rather than literally to tilt something, which is what makes me suggest 'tilt' instead. - (pg.8) - "more important the beauty" - Typo 'than', obvs. - (pg.9) - "Mebbe" - Does this mean 'maybe'? I recently had a bad experience with dialect (in The Name of the Wind, the ludicrous patois of the woodsman / pig-farmer(?), which is skipped.) Is this going to get more extreme? I don't mind the yers, and the contractions/abbreviations, but this seems like a new level, just because it's his POV. - (pg.10) - The sessions begins before the Eff waves for it to start. - (pg.11) - "our organization has been around" - This is very informal and does not mesh with the rest of the language, imo. Easy enough to say since our org was formed, or something similar. - (pg.11) - "claim to the m" - Sounds off to me. His claim to the status of m, the title of m, perhaps. - (pg.13) - "to catch every word" - Repetition of 'word'. Suggest 'catch them all.' - (pg.13) - "we will respond with those who still fight with us"- Really awkward. I feel like there's a much simpler wording, like 'we and our allies will respond.' for example. - (pg.13) - Hmm. R's last line reads to me like the start of another paragraph. I thought you had the zinger with the previous paragraph. I think leaving it at "the A." is a more powerful ending to the chapter. Overall For me, the weakest chapter so far. I'm always kind of ambivalent about S's POV. As usual he was a spectator, so momentum dropped quite a bit. Then R's POV. I can see why you wanted this one to give the LC an open hearing, as it were. I don't think the voice brings all that much, but the I can see how the perspective was useful. Not entirely convinced that there isn't another POV that would have served for this. Maybe even E's. Seeing her internal reaction to that last line would have been a doozy. I'm hoping to be back to R's POV, or even (faint hope) back with Man next time. Events have progressed, no argument there, but I feel like this chapter was really quite passive. I guess that probably would have been the case whoever's POV it was in. <R>

I have the perfect opportunity that I've been waiting for to delve into your submissions (having woken at 3am... ). I've been looking forward to this Dramatis Personae - (pg.2) - "Some changed were required" - typo. - (pg.3) - "He was murdered by A" - and yet he's a supporting character? Interesting. - (pg.3) - "He was the designer of the SBs" - One of the designers? Chief designer? - (pg.3) - "Only a handful of people are still living..." - Excellent. The plan is working!! I think 'Society' is still my favourite of your works. - (pg.3) - "when it is in session" - Surely he still presides over it when it is not. If something happens when the assembly is not in session, he is the go-to guy, isn't he? So, this bit seems redundant. - (pg.3) - "They seem to be able to create Ds" - Seems to me early comments seem to be certain about this. I didn't realise there was any doubt remaining. Also, "and have an unknown objective, save that they want to “bring peace and promote life.”" - Phrasing: I feel like this sentence is awkward to decipher. For me, 'save' doesn't mesh with the sub clause about the objective. I think it would be smoother if it read 'their objective is unknown, save...'. I think putting 'unknown' next to 'save' makes it easier to parse. - (pg.3) - "the F--ing Hands" - It's me, not you, I'm sure, but I've never thought of Sass having hands, I think because of their reptilian characteristics. In summary: I too like DPs, and I enjoyed this one. Not too long for me. The main characters get the most attention, of course. Chapter 1 - (pg.4) - Just love the epigram. To open on O's voice is perfect, for me, as he was always my favourite character. Sage words too, the set the scene very effectively, I thought. - (pg.4) - "the sound went on and on" - Very smooth and involving introduction. I feel like a adjective is needed to reconfirm what's happening to the sound. Is it a 'dying' (i.e. continually reducing) sound? The phrase 'stabilised into' makes me think it changed somehow. - (pg.4) - "like specs of salt" - This is an awfully specific simile. - (pg.5) - "sitting here in the dark"- I feel like I should know this before now, having been here for a page. We've seen the birds, but there's no indication of darkness in the room. - (pg.5) - "Probably the chime" - Again, I'd like to know what it's doing. 'Probably that irritating chime.' - (pg.6) - "as his hands clenched around E’s hands" - Repetition of hands is awkward, I thought. - (pg.6) - I really enjoy this little recap. Well judge in length/detail, and well placed in the narrative. - (pg.6) - "other man's skin" - I don't think of either of them as men. What age is S again? - (pg.6) - "he had cowered behind a crate" - I still like my had, and I think there is a place for them, especially here in underlining that S is thinking back to past events. - (pg.6) - "That infernal chiming sound" - Good. I think the more times you mention the chime (within reason) the better win these opening pages. I don't think there is any harm in annoying the reader by constantly mentioning the chime. It's supposed to be annoying, after all. - (pg.6) - "grandmother? Aunt?" - Ah, no. This is a problem for me. I can totally accept that he doesn't remember her face, but he's got to remember their relationship, surely. I get no sense that he's losing his faculties. he just be able to remember the generation that his gran (right?) came from, imo. Also, I found it curious that S didn't even think about the fact that he's lost his parents, when he thinks about loss, and also thinks directly about the fact that E has lost her parents. - (pg.7) - "find him" - Curious that she doesn't use I's name here, I thought. - (pg.7) - "he hummed along..." - Nice detail. This is the sort of little accent that really puts the reader in the moment, I think, and embeds the symphony in the narrative and the setting. - (pg.8) - "even if most of the m don’t" - This last bit is just verging on maid-and-butler for me, I think. I thought the first two parts of the statement are fine (even though they both know this information), but it was this later part that stretched it too far. - (pg.8) - "I know that too, even if I don’t understand how" - This sounds to me like she doesn't understand how she knows it, but I don't think that was your intention (was it?). I wanted 'how' to be 'it'. - (pg.8) - "Told you? Where? When? Who it is?" - 'Where?' seems like the absolute last question someone logically would ask in that situation. Why? How? surely are more prominent and pressing issues than Where? and When? Also, the last question > grammar. E doesn't have a speech inflection, that I can remember, does she? - (pg.8) - "I hurt someone" - Ooh, ooh, ooh, what if he sent the drain back in time to his gran's house and captured his own self?!?!?! No, I'm sure that's not it. - (pg.9) - "unperturbed by the noise now it was gone" - This seems so self-evident that it's not worthy of mention. - (pg.9) - "The waning light" - Oh. This is the first statement about the time of day, I think. I had imagined that it was morning, for some reason. - (pg.9) - "wood, or iron, or gas" - Wood and iron are a specific material and element, but then gas could be anything. It seems out of step with the other things in the list. Even if he doesn't think oxygen (for example), he might think air, I think, rather than just gas. Is it just me? The only time I use the term 'gas' is in relation to natural gas (fuel). - (pg.9) - "done experiments with" - Maybe it too soon for line edits (Oops, too late ), but I feel that 'experimented with' flows better. - (pg.10) - "talk with the others" - What others? I feel like E would be more specific than those, given her steady, analytical approach to things (I think?). - (pg.10) - "lip curled up, letting anger wash" - This sounds like his lip is in control. - (pg.10) - "That's why she's gathering us together" - Hmm, so E knew this and kept it from him when she arrived. - (pg.10) - "reconstruct the location for..."- 'of', surely? - (pg.11) - "being an chull" - I noticed that someone said (above) that they were put out (my phrase) that S did not seem to have progressed. Got to say I disagree. It seems to me that, while he's still suffering from his anxieties, it's not so crippling, and he's much quicker here to realise that his behaviour is impacting adversely on his friend. I think that shows progress. I'm happy with that. The issue will arise if the anxiety gets too much in the way of the story, and the character developoing. - (pg.11) - "S rushed forward" - Eh? No; he's already holding her hands, he's right there, doesn't need to rush forward. Maybe he leans forwards, reaches forward? - (pg.11) - "He checked her pulse, but it was still strong" - This is unnecessary. It implies part of the sentence that isn't there. It implies that he think her pulse will be weak. Because you don't say that, there's nothing for 'but' to play against. - (pg.11) - "some part of him that always looked for anything"- Or 'was always looking', which I think would be even better to flag this unconscious prejudice, although he's just acknowledged it, so no longer unconscious! - (pg.11) - "than just he and E"- I think it's 'him', isn't it? Take away E from the sentence, and I think it has to be 'him'. - (pg.12) - "city of the I stretched out behind it" - Somehow I don't picture him close enough to the window to get this perspective. E has been pulling him to the door--also he lunged toward her, further away from the window--so, it seems to me, he's pretty far from the window, and surely would only be able to see air/wall, not the ground. - (pg.12) - "He was breathing shallower" - Sounds like he's doing that on purpose, compared to 'His breathing was shallower'. And, isn't it 'more shallow'? - (pg.12) - "then brushed a hand down his cold cheek"- This rang odd to me, because although he feels his neck is cold, she's the one touching it, so it starts to sound like her POV, imo. - (pg.12) - "I know what you've been going through, S--, but Inas may not have a lot of time" - I feel like this line could have the punch increased (being at the end of the chapter and all) if she used his name. - (pg.12) - "pushed the door to MC's apartment open" - Again for punch / directness, I feel that when you separate 'door' and 'open', you lose the momentum and the immediacy of the action, compared to 'pushed open the door to MC's apartment...' - (pg.12) - For me, those last couple of short sentences, are kind of melodramatic. There's drama in the sign of I, the unknown sound, the unknown house, the 'misplaced' drain, even going to question V again, but we end on S's insecurity. I was somewhat disappointed and underwhelmed by that as the ending of the chapter. It doesn't feel like the most dramatic thing going on. Overall I enjoyed this as a reintroduction. Keeping the number of characters down lets me focus on the scene, and I like the number of callbacks you've used and where you've used them. yet there is enough new material to (re)involve me in the situation. I think this is an effective first chapter and establishes decent early momentum. From experience, I have little doubt that you will keep this going. I think it's one of your strengths. Looking forward to the next chapter. <R>

What are you talking about, LuNaar is an amazing kandra name!

I get that too on my phone, though my phone still autocorrects a lot of Brandon Sanderson related words even when I use them a lot. (No, I am not interested in the Recliners Trilogy)

My Nightblood's voice is eager like a child who is getting ready to play a game

Cool! By the way, I was really bored last night, so I tried drawing out a concept of my Spren. I’m going to attach it here.

I came up with this one at around 12:00 A.M. last night. Still not sure what made me think of it...

*sees title* GENERAL KENOBI! Ok but actually welcome to the shard! Have an upvote and a cookie!

I really need some hugs right now. I just had a really nasty fight with my father and I just need someone to be sincerely nice to me. Please and thank you for anything genuine. I love you guys.

1. Moash doesn't know where Kaladin is from. Only knows Amaram betrayed Kaladin 2. Troop of Parshmen Kaladin joined came from many different towns converging from various directions over a period of days. Not directly from Hearthstone 3. Kaladin traveled through multiple towns/villages gathering information on parshmen in every single town/village Only stopped at one point at Hearthstone, which is a random village of no strategic importance to the Fused 4. He also told every other village he visited that he was a Radiant. Not sure how that would single out Hearthstone 5. He never informed any of the villages he visited of his place of origin. 6. Spies spy on places of strategic importance. Hearthstone is of no strategic importance.

How the ten orders buy a car: Skybreaker: Checks the car over to ensure that it meets all of the safety standards and then examining all of the other cars for the same reason before making a decision. Windrunner: Flies about making sure that nobody is being harmed by an over zealous salesman. Dustbringer: Sets fire to all of the cars in the lot and then chases the salesman for no good reason. Edgedancer: Reminds the salesman about all of the forgotten car features. Stoneward: Buys the same model of car that he had before. Elsecaller: Goes in having done all of the research and tells the salesman exactly what they want. Willshaper: Takes the car on a joyride when the salesman looks away and forgets to return it to the lot. Lightweaver: Soulcasts the functional minivan into a sports car. Truthwatcher: Foresees the salesperson's pitch and cuts them off and buys their car of choice. Bondsmith: Unites all of the salespeople into one ultimate salesperson.

How the Ten Orders go on a car trip from Colorado to California through the mountains: Windrunner: *insists on taking every driving shift, not sleeping for days on end, but feeling satisfied since no one else had the chance to crash the car* *only occasionally glances outside to wish that they were flying among the mountains* Skybreaker: *stays awake with Windrunner for most of the time, constantly watching the speedometer and yelling at Windrunner whenever they surpass the speed limit* *also ignores everything outside except for speed limit signs* Dustbringer: *pushes the driver's seat every once in a while just to annoy whoever's driving, but spends most of their time chowing on whatever food they have and wondering how much stormlight it would take to reduce that boulder over there to rubble* Edgedancer: *finally manages to convince Windrunner to sleep and takes over their shift driving, is less annoyed by Skybreaker but still occasionally snaps at them* *ignores Dustbringer wholeheartedly* *watches surroundings intently except for when driving* Truthwatcher: *sits in back, reading and wishing that they were back at home so they wouldn't have to read the same ten books over and over again* *is unaware of everything outside* Lightweaver: *spends all of their time watching the surroundings and sketching* *tries to cheer Windrunner up by offering to give up their sandwich to Windrunner, but ignores Skybreaker except to Lightweave the speed limit signs to give higher numbers than they actually have* Elsecaller: *plans out entire car ride to the minute, and gets upset when it takes two hours longer than they thought it would to get to the destination* *ends up disinterestedly taking notes on the state of the road to report to the state* Willshaper: *insists on stopping at every cool place (waterfalls, mountains, whatever), partially to give Windrunner a break, but mostly to get pictures of all the things* *spends time in car wishing they were outside and wandering around* Stoneward: *sleeps in trunk the entire time, determined to not complain* Bondsmith: *tries to get everyone on a different sleeping schedule to maximize productivity* *fails miserably, but hey, at least they tried*

Bloodborne. Because I'm better at it now. And for once, I am better at a game than my friend!

256. I know it's hard, but if you are betrayed by the hero, chances are you are 1. On the wrong side or 2. The hero has no choice as the fate of the world/universe is at stake. Best hope for you is to move on and hey, at least you played a part in literal life changing events. And who knows, you could write a bestselling novel about it! Eh? Movie franchises! Video games! Make that money, yo! Turn that betrayal into capital gains!

Technically a Twinawesome would be someone who can metabolise food into two different types of Investiture.