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  1. 101 points
    George Lucas Open on Kaladin, staring out at the battlefield. It is littered with both soldiers and Parshendi corpses. He stands alone in his vest and trousers, an unreadable expression on his face. KALADIN: Dead. All of them….dead. Half of Bridge Four is gone, because of me. Sylphrena floats up to him, a ribbon of light, before assuming the form of a young girl. SYL: Not-so, Mistah Kaladeen, sah! You-sa still have meesa! KALADIN: Uh, Syl? Why are you talking like that? You didn't talk like that in the last book. SYL: Mistah Lucas thought it'd be better for the KIDS! You-sa knows he loves dee children! KALADIN: Excuse me, Syl. SYL: Where-sa you-sa going, Kaladeen? KALADIN: To find the nearest chasm. J.K. Rowling Dalinarbledore gripped Kaladin's shoulders, meeting his eyes. "Don't you see, Kaladin? You are the Chosen One. Of all the Radiants at this school, you alone can unite the Sprenly Hallows and defeat Voidemort!" Kaladin looked away from Dalinarbledore's eyes, which always made him feel as though he were being X-rayed. "But….this doesn't make sense." "Of course it does. Voidemort chose you as his equal, which is why you can fly and do all of those amazing things." "But wouldn't I have been able to do that anyway, being a Windrunner and all? And while we're at it, why did I get Windrunning while Shalmione got Lightweaving? I mean, seriously, why are there differences in our magic, anyway?" "Because it's magic. Duh." Just then, Professor Sadeas walked by, scowling at Dalinarbledore. "You're smiling, Professor. Ten points from Gryffindor." "I outrank you, Sadeas." "Fine. Ten points to Slytherin, because I have better fashion sense." George R. R. Martin Sigzil stood alone on the battlefield. Around him lay the broken bodies of Bridge Four, Dalinar's warcamp, Sebarial's warcamp, and the entire customer base of a random tavern. "Looks like it falls upon me, then," he sighed. "I alone must carry this narrative to the end. And I shall. I shall." The arrow struck his heart from an unknown source, and there he died. Stephanie Meyer Pattern buzzed in deep chagrin. "Shallan?" "What?" "I know that your sketches are important….but shouldn't you be working on keeping the parshmen from destroying the world?" "In a minute," she said, chagrined. "Shallan, you have already made 499 sketches of Adolin Kholin's abdominal muscles." "And this will be an even 500." Just as she finished the sketch and held it to the light for a moment's admiration, the door swung open. Her chagrin was quickly replaced by delight. "Shallan," Kaladin breathed. "I'm sorry for intruding on you like this, but I had to see you. I didn't have time to put on a shirt. I hope you don't mind." Pattern's chagrined buzzing began anew, but Shallan ignored it. When the Almighty sent you a shirtless Captain, you didn't ask for details.
  2. 67 points
    J. R. R. Tolkien * Forty pages of info about the history of tobacco in Alethkar * (This was awesome. )
  3. 50 points
    Since Brandon is Mormon, it only seems appropriate to write it in the style of the Book of Mormon. Chapter 1 1. It came to pass in the 5th year of the reign of Elhokar, King of Alethkar, that the Stormfather spake unto Dalinar saying, They must unite, or this people will be utterly destroyed. 2. And Dalinar raised up his voice unto the people of Alethkar, saying unto them that they must unite, and live by the Codes that their fathers has delivered to them. 3. And there rose up one Brightlord Sadeas, who said, What is this that thou sayest? Should we believe one man, though he should preach that the world should be destroyed? Behold, I say it is the effect of a frenzied mind. And that which ye say are ancient prophecies, are the foolish traditions of your fathers. For no man knoweth of things to come, but every man prospers according to his genius and conquers according to his strength. 4. And the people hearkened not unto Dalinar. Chapter 54 1 And the servant of Sadeas rose up and swore in his wrath that the army of Dalinar should not perish from Roshar. And his name was Kaladin. And the spirit of Honor was upon him, and her name was Sylphrenia, which being interpreted means the joyful wind. 2 He was a large and a mighty man and he sought for the covenants of his fathers, that he might receive the blessings of the Knight Radiant. 3 And He smote upon the army of the Parshendi insomuch that they did flee before him.
  4. 45 points
    The plot begins to unravel under the pressure... IN A CHASM, WITH A PILE OF BODIES SHALLAN: Why won’t this SoulCaster work? I can’t believe operating an ancient and scared artifact is more complex than a point-and-click interface! (SHALLAN looks at several books of PHILOSOPHY) SHALLAN: I can’t believe Jasnah killed those Ardents! All the philosophies say she did the right thing, but… ELSEWHERE (ROCK, TEFT, and MOASH stand in the POORLY LIT ROOM, looking at a SUSPICIOUSLY COFFIN-SHAPED BOX mounted on the WALL) TEFT: I’m cutting the coolant flow. On my mark, be ready to start the transfusion. (TEFT taps an activation rune and closes several valves) MOASH: Core temperature is rising. ROCK: Hexagramic wards are breaking down. Investiture core is approaching critical mass. TEFT: Opening confinement unit. (The BOX slowly opens, and fog begin spilling out across the floor. A leg extends from the box, taking a moment to gain footing. A man strides out of the box. Pan and zoom on his faces.) (SFX: Imperial March) MOASH: Kaladin Stormblessed walks this earth once again. KALADIN: TELL ME, MORTAL. FOR HOW MANY MILLENNIA HAVE I SLUMBERED? TEFT: Ten days. (An AIR RAID SIREN sounds) KALADIN: Really? I’d have thought it’d have been longer. Meh, let’s get this over with. MANY CORPSES LATER KALADIN: It’s pointless. I can’t save anyone. The Bridgemen are Ablative Tactical Armor. I can’t save them. PREVIOUSLY, on AMC’S The Thinking Parshmen LARAL: AHHHHHHH! KALADIN: What’s the status of the patient! (LIRIN gestures at RILLIR) LIRIN: He’s totally boned! See, Whitespine bone right in the lung. And kidney. And spleen. And the funny bone. (RILLIR preforms an expert PORCUPINE IMPERSONATION) ROSHONE: What are you doing! Save my son! LIRIN: I’m sorry Brightlord. I’m afraid I can’t do that. ROSHONE: What are you talking about? I can see him spurting blood! LIRIN: I know, right! I can start harvesting his organs while they’re extra fresh. You can leave now; I’m sure that leg won’t fester. RIPPLE FADE TO K-BAR SHALLAN: I’ve decided. What you did was… Probably the fourth or fifth- … TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES. PLEASE STAND BY. RIPPLE FADE TO K-BAR SHALLAN: I’ve decided. What you did was… Probably the worst thing I’ve ever seen. JASNAH: I was dismantling the Patriarchy! All my actions are always justified! SHALLAN: I’m not really sure how you can even make that argument. (KABSAL smashes through the WALL) KABSAL: OH YEAH! SHALLAN: What are you doing here? KABSAL: I brought jam? (JASNAH stands up, SOULCASTER humming ominously) JASNAH: What are you doing here! (KABSAL reaches into his JAM BASKET and withdraws a SAWED-OFF CROSSBOW) KABSAL: Justice. (KABSAL fires a short burst. JASNAH SOULCASATS each of the bolts into fire, but the wooden shafts simply served as sabots for METAL DARTS, which fly toward JASNAH as her SOULCASTER overheats) SHALLAN: NOOOOOOOO! (SHALLAN dives in front of JASNAH and is struck by three DARTS in quick succession) BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE KALADIN: I hate the Weeping. I can’t believe dad spent another of those Spheres. TIEN: It’s not so bad, Kal. You can’t let the weather get you down. KALADIN’S MOM: You’re brother is right. The spheres are a diversion. LIRIN: Army’s in town or something. Everyone act natural. (EVERYONE assembles in the TOWN SQUARE) (AMARAM enters, taking a moment to comb his GOATEE before resuming his MUSTACHE TWIRLING) AMARAM: Who wants to join the Army? We have… lot of rocks? I guess the pay is pretty good. (ROSHONE enters. He has gain CONSIDERABLE WEIGHT to account for his MISSING LEG.) ROSHONE: We will be taking volunteers. The volunteers will be you and you. (TIEN is knocked off his FEET and begins to FALL backwards, drawn by AMARAM ARMY’S immense GRAVITATIONAL PULL) KALADIN: TIEN! (KALADIN grabs TIEN, holding him by the hand) KALADIN: I’ve got you. ROSHONE: Need a hand? (ROSHONE falls out of his PALANQUIN. KALADIN losses his grip on TIEN.) TIEN: Goodbye, brother. KALADIN: I’m going after him. FADE TO BLACK (The BRIDGEMEN ASSEMBLE. HASHAL enters.) HASHAL: Listen up, maggots! I’m the captain now. MATEL: … HASHAL: Technically my husband is, but you can think of me and your new god! MATEL: … TEFT: Your husband is pretty clearly a cardboard cutout. [CENSORED] KALADIN: So, Bridge Four doesn’t get anyone new? GAZ: Not exactly. (A PARSHMAN wearing a TUXEDO and holding a MARTINI enters) GAZ: Not really sure where he came from, but all the Bridgemen dying lately have driven up the price of slaves, so Hashal though we should give it a shot. Also, you get permeant Chasm Duty. Matel’s orders, of course. (BRIDGE FOUR exits) KALADIN: You need a name. How about… Shen. Just Shen. SHEN: … (BRIDGE FOUR reports for CHASM DUTY) BRIDGEMEN: So, boss. How we gonna get out of this one? KALADIN: We can’t. We’re all dead. No KnobWeed money, no new members. We don’t have a chance. SYL: So, you’re going to give up, then? KALADIN: There is one thing we could try. (KALADIN picks up a discarded SPEAR from a DEAD BODY and racks a round) KALADIN: We could fight. LATER SHALLAN: Where am I? KABSAL: You’re in the Hospital. SHALLAN: What! Kabsal, you tried to kill Jasnah! You shot me! KABSAL: Actually, I didn’t do either of those things. SHALLAN: What do you mean? I saw you- KABSAL: I’ve been a figment of your imagination this entire time. (KABSAL begins to fade and quickly VANISHES) SHALLAN: …what? THE END? TEFT: Hey Kaladin. You can probably do magic or something. KALADIN: You’re right. I just noticed that. SYL: I still don’t care about you. I hope the Parshendi kill you! (SYL vanishes) KALADIN: We need to do something about the Parshendi arrows. If they keep shooting at as, they’ll kill us one at a time, unless… (KALADIN looks at the large number of DEAD PARSHENDI in the CHASM, then SMIRKS) THE NEXT BRIDGEDAY TEFT: This is going to be a bad one. They’re already lined up and waiting for us. MATEL: … GAZ: BRIDGES FORWARD! KALADIN: Checking systems. Stormlight reserve levels, check. Linkage integrity, check. RPMs reaching normal. (The PARSHENDI draw back their bows) KALADIN: Force feedback checking start. (The PARSHENDI open fire) MOASH: What the- (RIPPLES appear in several nearby WATER GLASSES) SHEN: … (KALADIN charges out from under the BRIDGE, ripples appearing in several nearby WATER GLASSES. He wears a suit of DEAD PARSHENDI. Several ARROWS strike KALADIN and bounce off.) KALADIN: There is no spoon. (The approaching ARROWS slow doing dramatically, and KALADIN begins DODGING ALL OF THEM as the PARSHENDI lose FIRE DISCIPLINE) GAZ: IMPOSSIBRU! TEFT: Well, we got the bridges down without anyone important dying, but it looks like Sadeas is going to lose this one. DALINAR: I doubt it. (DALAINAR ARMY arrives, attacking the PARSHENDI from a SECOND FLANK. They RETREAT.) IN THE KHOLIN CAVE ADOLIN: I can’t believe I was wrong about Sadeas! RENARIN: Well, you shouldn’t think less of him just because he set you up to fight four Shardbearders at once. ADOLIN: Wait, what? RENARIN: I mean… You shouldn’t think less of him just because killed Asmodean. DALINAR: Not to get us back on track again, but can we get back on track? I’m not sure I can tie myself to this chair on my own. NAVANI: I can help with that… (NAVANI enters, SCANDALOUSLY wearing a FINGERLESS GLOVE) DALINAR: I’ve been finding these odd fabrials attached to my head when I wake up… most mornings now, actually. There’s one on the table right there. (FABRIAL sits on the TABLE, GLOWING OMINOUSLY) DALINAR: I don’t suppose you know anything about that, do you? NAVANI: No, no…. No. RENARIN: Highstorm’s here. DALINAR: Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn! ADOLIN: What did you see? DALINAR: I saw... I don't know what I saw. Death... Destruction... Nothing's really clear. NAVANI: What the last thing you said? DALINAR: ‘To be human is to want that which we cannot have’. (NAVANI procures a LARGE TOME from SOMEWHERE) NAVANI: Wait! If I cross-matrix the sample with the known passages and integrate the function of highstorm travel time over that interval… RENARIN: That makes perfect sense! NAVANI: And if I can translate the DawnChant from these visions, that would prove that they aren’t just insane ramblings! DALINAR: Can someone untie me now? NAVANI: I don’t see why that’s necessary. (AIR RAID SIREN) DALINAR: That’s The Tower. SADEAS: We need to attack the Parshendi now! ADOLIN: Is that a good idea? That far away, they’ll get in place first… SADEAS: Fighting is sure to result in victory, so we must fight! RENARIN: That isn’t even what that quote means. Besides, everyone with a brain knows that Clausewitz was better. SADEAS: Shutup, nerd. Anyway, that far away, your MechaBridges won’t be fast enough. You can borrow some of my Crews. RENARIN: Is that a good idea? DALINAR: I’m sure we can trust this man to give us bridges. (SADEAS twirls his MOUSTACHE) THE FINAL COUNTDOWN (SFX: Pacific Rim Theme) KALADIN: Bridge Four, Assemble! TEFT: All squads ready in all respects for action, sir. Ad Victoriam! (BRIDGE FOUR salutes KALADIN) BRIDGE FOUR: Ad Victoriam! KALADIN: Excellent. Stand by for departure. Ad Victoriam. OTHER BRIDGEMEN: YAY! ROCK: What are the wetlanders yelling about now? TEFT: They’ve finally realized who we are. MOASH: And what’s that? KALADIN: Their CHAMPIONS! Bridge forward. (SYLPHERENA folds her ARMS under her CHEST) SYL: It’s not that impressive… THE ASSASSIN IN WHITE FLED ACROSS THE PLAIN… DALINAR ARMY TECHNICIAN: Recovering from jump. Sensors coming back online now. Parshendi returns detected, separating signatures… Roughly ten thousand contacts on The Tower. SADEAS: We can take then thousand! We’ve got at least… a lot of soldiers? I’ll attack first, then you pursue the servants of the Corpse God up the Plateau. ADOLIN: But with that plan of attack, if your army breaks… SADEAS: JUST DO IT! DON’T LET YOUR FREAKY HIGHSTORM VISIONS BE DREAMS! DALINAR: All units, begin assault! (DALINAR and ADOLIN begin KILLING PARSHENDI) SADEAS: You’ve activated my trap card! (SADEAS shuffles all creatures under his control into his LIBRARY) TEFT: Is our army supposed to be retreating? (A wild PARSHENDI ARMY appears!) MOASH: That’s not good. ROCK: Stupid wetlanders, getting encircled. KALADIN: This is perfect. We fall behind because of our extra wounded, then loot those bodies for wargear and evacuate. They’ll assume we’re all dead, and then we’re free. (CREMLINGS chirping) (SYLPHERENA looks eastward, toward the ORIGIN and DALINAR ARMY) Vietnam, 1968 Near the Laotian Border Private First Class Kaladin Sturmmwerfer ran, clutching his assault rifle, trying to keep a low profile as he made a beeline for the trench. The detonation of motor shells formed a constant cracking staccato, combining the NVA fire to create a truly nightmarish cacophony. Kaladin spotted the trench and the last second and dove into it, a bullet slicing through the space previously occupied by his head an instant later. The situation was a mess; the fact that they had trenches, that they’d had the chance to dig them but had been unable to extract attested to that. … “What company are you from?” The man asked, flinching as a mortar shell detonated a few feet from the trench. “What’s their status?” “Dead.” Kaladin said, only barely managing not to stutter. “Dead. All dead.” … Kaladin found his way to the reassignment command post. He knew it couldn’t have been more than a few minutes, but it felt like an eternity, one he could barely remember. He spotted Sergeant Dalar as he approached; the man was in charge of Tien’s replacement squad. He needed to- “Reassignment is that way.” Dalar said, glancing at Kaladin. “I need to find the replacement squad. The one from the auxiliary regimental comms section.” “Why would you need that?” … “You.” The lieutenant said, pointing at Kaladin. “Get on the line. About time we got some reinforcements. How many-?” He was interrupted by a sudden burst of machine gun fire. “They’re attacking again.” The gunner announced, panic edging his voice. “Two thrusts, scattered. I’m almost out of ammo, and-“ “We’ve got fire support.” The lieutenant said. “Just make them keep their heads down for second and we’ll be clear. This time.” … Three solider in foxholes below the MLR. He spotted Tien immediately, fumbling his first attempt to fit a box magazine into the Squad Automatic Weapon he held, a weapon he clearly had almost no idea how to use. Tien opened fire, but the NVA were already closing on his position, and he fired almost continuously, and ran out of ammunition. Kaladin opened his mouth to shout something. … Tien could barely use the SAW, but he’d still caused the enemy to bunch up for the strike. Kaladin glanced back at the lieutenant. “Gotta turn a liability into an asset whenever you can. Only way to stay alive.” … SYL: Do fissionspren cause atomic decay, or are they attracted to it? KALADIN: Tien never could figure that out. I was usually more interested in the stellar sequences and other… Is this the time for that? Does it even matter? SYL: See, I’ve remembered what I am. Honorspreen. Spirit of Oaths, promises, and nobility. KALADIN: I’ve… This place… I won’t let it happen again… KALADIN: BRIDGE FORWARD! (BRIDGE FOUR charges the CHASM, easily DEFLECTING the first few salvos of PARSHENDI fire) (SFX) TEFT: There! On the left flank! (A large blob of PARSHENDI outflanks) KALADIN: Side carry! (BRIDGE FOUR rotates their BRIDGE, and the outflanking PARSHENDI suddenly EXPLODE) MOASH: Oh no… PARSHENDI: Now witness the power of this fully armed and operational battle station! (THE SUN vanishes as the PARSHENDI fire LOTS OF ARROWS) KALADIN: STEADY! (KALADIN raises a hand, and FLATTENED HEMISPHERE of RIPPLING EDDIES OF INCANDESCENT ENERGY appears, drawing in and catching each of the arrows) KALADIN: Vortex Lashing! (KALADIN returns the ARROWS to the PARSHENDI. They ALL DIE. KALADIN gains a LEVEL.) TEFT: Set bridge and prepare for combat! ESHONAI: Send in the next wave. (The GROUND shakes as a PARSHENDI SWARM approaches) KALADIN: GIVE THEM NOTHING! TAKE FROM THEM EVERYTHING! SOMEWHERE NEARBY SHARDPLATE: Stormlight dangerous low. Immediate withdrawal from combat recommended. DALINAR: I would if I could Shsh, but that’s not really an option now, is it? ADOLIN: Well, this is how it ends. DALINAR: What, no witty remarks? ADOLIN: Acerbic is better for last words. Besides, you were doing the right thing. I see that now. I suppose this had to happen sooner or later. Journey Before Destination and all that. If- WHAT IS THAT! (A massive SHARDBEAR crashes through the ALETHI line) ADOLIN: …. DALINAR: Why now! Why did you wait so long! ESHONAI: ROAR! DALINAR: Once more, into the breach! @BRIDGEHEAD KALADIN: I will protect those who cannot protect themselves. (KALADIN stares down the PARSHENDI SWARM) KALADIN: Sort of like you. (The PARSHENDI attack, with exactly the expected results against KALADIN’s T6 2+/3++ FNP 4+ IWND) SLY: OVERKILL! (KALADIN punches a hole in a PARSHEDI before grabbing another to use as a bludgeon) SLY: KILLTROCITY! KALADIN: THIS HAND OF MINE GLOWS WITH AN AWESOME POWER! ITS IMMORTAL WORDS TELL ME TO DEFEAT YOU! TAKE THIS! MY LOVE! MY ANGST! AND ALL OF MY COMPETENCE! (A PAINFULLY BRIGHT MOTE OF LIGHT appears in KALADIN’S HAND) KALADIN: INERTIAL-GRAVATIC CONFINEMENT FUSION LASHING!
  5. 44 points
    An update? IMPOSSIBLE! PART THREE: HALF-SHARD LIFE SHALLAN: I’m not sure I like these women writing about the assassination of King Gavilar. JASNAH: It’s called the Assuredness Movement. The AssMove. It’s very dignified and cleaver rhetoric. SHALLAN: But… Here, Brightness Kayne is criticizing the centralized order imposed by the monarchy by simply repeating the phrase ‘storm THE POLICE’ in response to every argument against the position. (TARAVANGIAN enters, speaking on his CELLULAR SPANREED) TARAVANGIAN: I don’t care if the rate dropped by half, I want you to slice and dice. ???: Yes, daddy. TARAVANGIAN: damnation straight! (TARAVANGIAN hangs up, hanging his PURPLE FEATHERED CAP on a hook and draping his RHINESTONE STUDDED COAT over his chair) TARAVANGIAN: Jasnah, thanks for the assist on getting my ho out of that hole. What’s the scoop on your new girl there? JASNAH: Would you like a sketch? (SHALLAN sketches TARAVANGIAN, but accidently incudes some WIRED THINGS. She DESTROYS the SKETCH) PAN TO SHATTERED PLANINS GAZ: What is this? KALADIN: WE’RE GONNA NEED A MONTAGE! BRIDGE FOUR: A BRIDGE TRAINING MONTAGE! (GAZ wanders away) GAZ: I hate only having one eye. Not only do I have no depth perception; I think there’s something supernaturally wrong here. And given how that thing with the earring worked out… LAMARIL: Pay up, Gaz. GAZ: But you already took my lunch money today… LAMARIL: Well, get me more! Also, make that one guy die, but don’t kill him. Try spraying his blanket with ChasmFiend Mating Pheromones. (SOMEWHERE ELSE, KALADIN has a BRILLIANT IDEA) KALADIN: What was it that father used to say…? Oh, right. (A BRIDGE LAUNCH ELEVATOR deploys a SIDEWAYS BRIDGE) NEGATIVE SIX YEARS LATER LIRIN: Hey, Kal. (LIRIN and KALADIN sit at a TABLE. LIRIN is CLEARLY DRUNK) LIRIN: When you get to the Big City, stay there. Don’t get sucked back to some dump like this. KAL: Okay dad! KAL (THINKING): Little does he know that I’ll join the army, kill a Shardbearer, eat him to gain his powers, and then… figure out that part when I get there. (SOME TOWNSFOLK start pounding on the DOOR) TOWNSFOLK: Open up! This is a robbery! (LIRIN opens the DOOR) LIRIN: What do you want? TOWNSFOLK: Give us the spheres! LIRIN: Kaladin, go upstairs. Daddy has some work to do. (KALADIN beats a HASATY RETREAT upstairs, hearing his father’s SURGICAL CHAINSWORD revving as he does so.) PAN TO PRESNT DAY GAZ: Alright, fish. Bridge crews. KALADIN: Why doesn’t Bridge Four get any new meat? GAZ: Fine. One. KALADIN: I’ll take that one. He looks like the least useful, so he’s probably the best choice. (An AIR RAID SIREN sounds) KALADIN: Bridge Four, roll out! MANY HANDS OF BRIDGE LATER (BRIDGE FOUR and the rest of SADEAS ARMY approach THE DARK TOWER) KALADIN: So am I the Gunslinger here? GAZ: Bridges FORWARD! (SFX: SAVING PRIVATE RYAN BEACH SCENE) BRIDGEMAN: I’M LOSING CONTROL OF THE SITUATION! OTHER BRIDGEMAN: WE NEED EVAC NOW, DAMNIT, NOW! (Both BRIDGMEN immediately DIE, causing the rest of their BRIDGE CREW to suffer a PANIC CHAIN) KALADIN: Deploy our secret weapon. TEFT: Sir, it hasn’t been tested. Without proper calibration, we could lose confinement on the main reaction chamber and- KALADIN: We don’t have a choice. SIDE CARRY! (BRIDGE FOUR rotates their BRIDGE a full NINETY DEGREES on the X AXIS) TEFT: Stormfather! It’s actually working! (BRIDGE SEVENTEEN catches on FIRE. BRIDGE TWO suddenly EXPLODES. Within Minutes, SADEAS ARMY is falling back in disarray. Four PARSHENDI WARRIORS press their SKULLPLATES against the corner of the GATE and ESHONAI floats through, ending the BATTLE) (LAMARIL approaches KALADIN, accompanied by THUGS) LAMARIL: Do you know what you’ve done? KALADIN: For Great Justice. (The THUGS surround KALADIN and BEAT HIM SENSELESS) WHEN SUDDENLY SHALLAN: King Gavilar’s account of his expedition into the Unclaimed Hills is certainly breathtaking. So is his discussion of the possible socioeconomic and geopolitical impacts of intelligent Parshmen and easily harvested gemhearts. (SHALLAN spots the SUBTEXT, clearly marked with an ILLUMINITI SYMBOL) SHALLAN: Jasnah wrote this? It says… “Gavilar should be thinking about hitting Greatshells, and here he is whining about economics and anthropology and Voidbringers like a little bitch”. SHALLAN: Interesting. JASNAH: Time for a Philosophy lesion! (SHALLAN and JASNAH quickly FAST TRAVEL to a different part of KHARBRANTH) SHALLAN: Are you sure this is safe? JASNAH: Of course it is! This used to be a dangerous neighborhood, but then a group of Ardents started doing a lot of work to clean it up, cut down crime, improve education and public health… They’re working out of a chapel just over there. ARDENT: With this new immune system-boosting Fabril, we can increase the survival of patients, and allow surgeons to work on them without getting infected themselves! With mass production, we could cut down plague deaths by an Order of Magnitude! (JASNAH uses SOULCAST, turning one of the CHAPEL WALLS into a PILE OF RUBBLE. She enters.) ARDENT: You? No! (JASNAH uses SOULCAST, turning ARDENT into STELLAR PLASMA. He EXPLODES. The CHAPEL collapses.) JSANAH: Much more satisfying when they understand their lives are over. (JASHAN uses SOULCAST, turning the SURVIVORS into CHUNKS OF MEAT) SHALLAN: You just killed at least thirty people! JASNAH: Did I though? Did I really? Or, was it they were men and knew how to read that killed them? SHALLAN: …NO! (SHALLAN crouches, approaches JASNAH from behind and removes the SOULCASTER from her inventory, replacing it with her own BROKEN SOULCASTER and a GRENADE, sans PIN) SOME TIME LATER (KALADIN is STRUNG UP from the roof of the BRIDGE FOUR HEADQUATERS, facing the ORGIN, and is UPSIDEDOWN) KALADIN: Unfamiliar celing… Wait. That’s a wall. (SFX: WHEN THE WILD WIND BLOWS) TEFT: Not only did they beat you senseless and string you up; they took your money. ROCK: Stupid wetlanders. Can’t even survive a Highstorm. KALADIN: It’s situations like this that make me really want to reconsider my life choices. JEZEREZEH: ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE. KALADIN: WELL THEN, COME AND GET ME! (KALADIN is SMASHED by the StormWall) KALADIN: That smarts… What? (SYLPHRENA holds a GLOWING SHARDBLADE, deflecting ROCKS before they hit KALADIN) KALADIN: Great. Now I’m hallucinating. (The HIGHSTORM becomes as a SHIFTING TECHNICOLOR EXPASNE) KALADIN: The rust is this? (The SHIFTING TECHNICOLOR EXPASE turns to the INFINITE COLD DARK BLACK OF SPACE, occupied by a RATHER LARGE FACE) KALADIN: The rust is that? (KALADIN is out of useable POKEMON. KALADIN paid out THIRTEEN CLEARMARKS to the winner. KALADIN BLACKED OUT.) PREVIOSULY, ON AMC’S Breaking Radiant (KALADIN, TIEN, and KALADIN’S MOM are SITTING at a TABLE) TIEN: Kaladin, look at this rock. Tiny pieces of it keep breaking down into even smaller pieces of something else. KALADIN’S MOM: That’s nice, dear. TIEN: I’m not sure what controls if, or when, a given piece of the rock breaks down, though. KALADIN’S MOM: Perhaps is has a spren. KALADIN: I doubt it. Spren are ugly and stupid. KALADIN’S MOM: I think you’ll regret that one day, dear. TIEN: I wonder what would happen if I got a bunch of this rock and crushed it really hard, all at the same time. (LIRIN enters) LIRIN: I’m off to see the BrightLord! KALADIN: I’m coming with you. (KALADIN and LIRIN quickly infiltrate the CASTLE and sit down for DINNER) ROSHONE: Give me the Spheres. I know your family is starving! LIRIN: If we want for food, we can always eat your family. Kaladin, please step out for a moment. (KALADIN exits. He encounters LARAL and RILLIR in a BREAKFAST NOOK.) RILLIR: Father says we should marry. I’m not opposed to the idea; I think I could limit myself to about ten or fifteen mistresses… LARAL: Stop acting like on of those Final Empire bastards and- Oh, hey Kal. (LARAL bats her EYELASHES at KALADIN) LARAL: Have you missed me, Kaladin? KALADIN: No. I can’t believe I ever thought you were… fun to spend time with. Storming lighteyes. PRESNET DAY (ROCK and TEFT look up at KALADIN, who is hanging from the ROOF and HAS LOOKED BETTER) ROCK: He is dead. TEFT: He’s only mostly dead. Big difference between all dead and mostly dead. Nothing we could do if he was all dead; they already went through his pockets looking for spheres. But if he’s only mostly dead… (TEFT and ROCK cut down KALADIN and stash him in the BARRACKS, then leave. TEFT enters some time later, carrying SOME SPHERES.) TEFT: No way this could work. Just what to prove those old bastards wrong. (TEFT places the SPHERES on KALADIN) TEFT: Good, nothing. I was worried for a second there- (SFX: LIBERA ME FROM HELL) (KALADIN begins GLOWING) TEFT: No! It can’t be! The legendary Super- (TEFT notes that KALADIN’S EYES become pale rather than his HAIR) TEFT: Oh. Just a Radiant. I was worried for a second there.
  6. 33 points
    So... a little while ago, I posted an essay in the Random Stuff thread. It was about Warbreaker, and is kind of meant as a trial run for something. Ive been wanting to do a blog analysing topics for a while, so i thought starting with one of the reasons why Warbreaker is my favorite Cosmere book would be a good start. And... I was thinking, maybe it would bare re-posting it here in a seperate topic? I hope that doens't count as "double-posting". Honestly, it maybe should have been here to begin with... So... um, yeah. For anyone who is interested: some disconnected ramblings on Warbreaker. Enjoy?
  7. 32 points
    If an author is uncomfortable writing graphic violence, they shouldn't be pressured to add more graphic violence to their work. If an author is uncomfortable writing about religion, they shouldn't be pressured to add a religious character to their next book. If an author is uncomfortable writing sex scenes, they shouldn't be pressured into writing sex scenes. End of discussion.
  8. 30 points
  9. 29 points
    you expressed your persnal opinions, which are different from those of most others here. not because we are mindless fans who like everything their idol does, but because liking what sanderson does made us fans. it is strange to find on this site one with so much disagreement with the writer because one with so much disagreement generally does not become involved enough to post on a fan forum. preamble said, I disagree with most all of your opinions. - sexuality. I like it as it is, or at most hinted a bit more. not because I am prude or shy, in fact I have quite a lot of experience with erotic literature, but simply because I don't think the books would gain anything from more sex. ok, we know those two guys are having sex. do we really need a description? Not me. It would feel like a bit of the aforementioned erotic literature just got teleported into the middle of a fantasy book. It just doesn't work for me. I've read books with more explicit sexuality, and I never enjoied it. While I don't mind hints that characters have a sexual life (since you mentioned wot, I appreciated the references to the white tower being ripe with lesbism, which is a realistic consequence of segregating so many pubescent girls together away from boys) I would rather the details remained private among the characters. - religion. You are wrong in saying that in sanderson's books religious characters are good characters. There are plenty of religious negative characters (dilaf and his dakor monks come first, hraten at least has good intentions, but there is also vivenna's judgmental attitude) and plenty of not-religious good characters (jasnah takes the cake here, but kelsier is also another shining example). heck, brandon is regularly praised by atheistic people telling him how well he represented one of them and how amazed they were at fidning a strongly religious person who could portray and atheist so well. he takes effort in giving justice to any ideological view different from his own, and he does a really good job of it. I think you cherry-picked a couple of examples that are not representative of brandon's general writing. - death. yes, most times his characters die at the end of the story arc. but then, brandon always kills his characters when he feels it's appropriate for the story. most times it's at the end, which makes sense because it's the climax, the time when the characters take more risks. ok, it would be a bit more realistic to have, say, adolin randomly killed by a stray arrow through the eyeslit in a meaningless plateau run, but again, i don't see the story gaining much from it. in fact, the story follows the main characters because they are main characters. if they get killed before accomplishing much, then clearly they didn't add much to the story, and they are not worthy of being followed closely, they are not main characters. giving lots of space to someone who will just get killed may not be the best storytelling. - genre. I don't consider myself a fan of fantasy. in fact, most standard fantasy just feels to me like a cheap lord of the rings ripoff. what i actually like about fantasy in interesting worldbuilding. if a world was sketched well enough, I could read about it without even a story happening. And so i strongly apppreciate that brandon is carrying his worlds in different directions. I absolutely love what he's doing with scadrial, and I absolutely love the way he's mixing magic and technology. I never appreciated how the two didn't mix in the wot. I am a scientist and a strong believer in progress, and the general attitude of traditional fantasy of progress=bad, ancient=good, things get worse with time, was always veery unsatisfying to me. anyway, i love the exploration part of fantasy, and so exploring what happens to a world with the passing of time is very interesting to me.
  10. 26 points
    RENARIN: You know man, it's great to finally meet someone who actually knows how to run a kingdom. RASHEK: Yeah, that Elocar guy sounds like rusting moron. You want another hit? RENARIN: Don't mind if I do... (RENARIN takes a hit of ATIUM) RENARIN: And now my sword starts screamin' at me and... I don't know, some days. RASHEK: This one time I had a sword that was all 'Destroy Evil' and I just couldn't handle that ash. RENARIN: And now we've got that big fight with those red guys comming up and I still can't do crem... RASHEK: Want to borrow a few thousand Koloss? I got a bunch of 'em runnin around... RENARIN: Nah man, too many questions.
  11. 23 points
    Robert Jordan Adonalsium shatters, and the Shards turn into fragments, and the fragments turn into slivers, and even slivers fade to dust when the Shattering comes again. In a time of trial, a time yet to come, a time far past, a wind blew through the Northern Roughs. The wind was not a beginning. There are no beginnings and no ends to the Shattering of Adonalsium. But it was a beginning.
  12. 22 points
    I have a non downvote policy. I have made my non downvote policy public on numerous occasions and I am sure I have caused the Mods quite a few headaches about my antics concerning the downvotes and yet I almost nearly did downvote this post. Why? Certainly not because he is expressing an unpopular opinion. I have expressed unpopular opinions more often than most regular posters. There is however a way to phrase one's thoughts and when you are purposefully going against the masses, you have to be clever enough to use the right words. It is an intrinsically difficult task to form up a decent criticism of a beloved author in a non-confrontational way, open-minded to discourse. Thus, the problem with this post aren't the thoughts being expressed, it is how they were expressed combined with the sick feeling the OP is shoving down his own opinion as the One Absolute Truth which basically is Mistake Number One of What Not to Write into an Unpopular post. I am absolutely not surprised by the downvotes, worst I am surprised it hasn't gotten more, yet. @Rockobar, yes, we could essentially discuss the sexual content within Brandon Sanderson's books, we could discuss as to whether or not Shallan and Jasnah should a homosexual relationship, we could discuss the religious content within Brandon Sanderson's books, we could discuss every one of the points raised into appropriate threads and guess what? We did. We did have those discussions and while we do not all agree with each other, we all agree Brandon Sanderson has the write to write his story how he sees fit. His prerogative as a writer to craft his characters as he feels are required by his story, our prerogative as readers is to decide whether or not his story is one we wish to read. Brandon is a swell guy, if you say you don't like his books because their content is not up to your personal preferences, he would be totally fine with it. Even better, I have seen him NOT recommend his own books onto Reddit to a few readers because, based on their tastes, he didn't feel they would enjoy them. We can express thoughts as to what we wish to read within future books, we can say we feel this or that would make a very good story arc, we can even be sadden if the author doesn't share our views and/or retain our favorite idea, but we can't barge in there saying it is his duty to write his story as we wish it to be. I understand wanting a story to unfold into a particular way, I do, I really do, nobody understands this better than I, but I fear a line has been crossed here. Your opinion isn't the only opinion nor is it the only valuable opinion. It is one opinion and we can discuss it, but it doesn't have precedence over other people's opinion and yes, this is hard, at times, to swallow it up. This too, I know all too well. For my part, I love the fact Brandon is actually writing low sexual content books, I love how he has dared, in the 21st century, to write mature characters whom are waiting before having their first sexual relationship. I love how Adolin is a virgin and somewhat ill-at-ease with the whole intimacy concept despite being in his twenties, loud and naturally bragging. Why do I love it? Because in a world where medias and mass entertainment promote to our kids the idea sexual relationships should happen during the first half of their teen years if they are so much as to claim to normality, I find it refreshing to read characters whom aren't following those unseen rules, whom are showing the young readers it is alright to be 23 years old and not having had an intimate relationship yet. It is all right if you haven't really had any serious relationship by the time you are in your twenties. It is alright if you haven't have sex and guess what? There are a great deal lot of people whom are within the same position. So while yes, Brandon could have written Adolin as a pure Casanova moving half-dress from one room to the next answering to the sole call of his male parts, he would have missed the chance to write a much better character, IMHO. So while yes, Brandon could have written Jasnah and Shallan having torrid sex, but it might have read more like heterosexual male dream fantasy than a real genuine relationship. So yes, there are numerous ways Brandon could have written the story differently, when it comes to sex/religion/whatsoever, but in the end what he has to offer does hold itself pretty well. This being said, I wouldn't fear too much about Brandon reading the letter. He might not answer, but Brandon is a swell guy, he won't be offended. He'd just think perhaps you should not read his books if you find them not to your personal tastes, he might even send you a list of books he feels you would prefer. That's just how swell Brandon is. Edit: Typos. Edit 2: I forgot to mention the fact Brandon chose Adolin to be the virgin shy about relationship character is incredibly amazing because he is exactly the kind of character people would take for the exact opposite. Young people can be social, outgoing, friendly. They can date numerous people, but it doesn't mean they have to have sex, right away with everyone. They can even be a bit scared about it, just like Adolin. I feel this message is increasingly important to send in today's world and no it has nothing to do with religion: I am atheist. I just think sex, as a whole, is taken up too much place within nowadays relationships, too much emphasis in put on sex, especially on young people.
  13. 22 points
    tl;dr: Now that I saved everyone's time on reading that wall of text you can decide whether you want to downvote him or let it be.
  14. 20 points
    Man, if I started a second date with: I really like you, but have you ever considered changing your appearance, personality, friends, clothes, hobbies, and profession?
  15. 20 points
    Patrick Rothfuss IT WAS NIGHT AGAIN. Shinovar lay in silence, and it was a silence of three parts. The most obvious part was a hollow, echoing quiet, made by things that were lacking. If there had been a wind it would have sighed through the grass, set the chickens crowing for the sun and brushed the silence down the road like trailing autumn leaves. If there had been a crowd, even a handful of Shin left alive, they would have filled the silence with prayers, the clatter and clamor one expects from a religious people. If there had been music…but no, of course there was no music. In fact there were none of these things, and so the silence remained. Inside the burnt out house a pair of men huddled at one corner of the bar. They drank with quiet determination, avoiding serious discussions of what they had just seen, why they had been spared. In doing this they added a small, sullen silence to the larger, hollow one. It made an alloy of sorts, a counterpoint. The third silence was not an easy thing to notice. If you listened for an hour, you might begin to feel it in the smouldering wooden floor underfoot and in the rough, sacred stone surrounding the ruins. It was in the weight of the silver sheath that held the black blade leaking dark smoke. It was in the slow back and forth of a shattered Oathstone rubbing along the blade of a dead Herald. And it was in the hands of the man who stood there, sharpening ancient weapons with noone left to kill. The man had no hair, his head shining in the flames. His eyes were black and distant, and he moved with the subtle certainty that comes from hearing many things, seeing things no man should. Shinovar was now his, just as the third silence was his. This was appropriate, as it was the greatest silence of the three, wrapping the others inside itself. It was deep and wide as autumn’s ending. It was heavy as a great river-smooth stone. It was the patient, cut-flower sound of a man who is waiting to die.
  16. 17 points
    What, is OP not allowed to have an opinion on what would improve Brandon's books in their mind? Or just not allowed to mention it around you guys? Many of their points (religious views of characters, hidden sexuality, and overuse of resurrection) are all things Brandon has engaged with in detail on Reddit when people have posted similar complaints. Nothing here that deserves downvotes. They're well-considered ideas, backed up with plenty of explanation and comparisons that are designed to give concrete examples. I'll disagree with the fundamentals of the opinions, and honestly I wouldn't enjoy if Brandon followed the advice given. My preferences for discussion range more towards in-universe theories than these sorts of metatextual analyses, so I'm not particularly interested in engaging with the topic at hand. But let's not flame a brand new user for sharing thoughts. Welcome to the Shard, @Rockobar. Normally, the level of detail you put into your post would get a much better reception around these parts. I guess you've just managed to find a sensitive topic to make an entrance on; by all means, don't let it stop you from visiting other parts of the forum.
  17. 17 points
    By popular demand, part two is underway: THE SADEASHANK REDEPTION
  18. 16 points
    I'm not an expert, but I believe the original iteration of This forum was made somewhere in-between the release of Hero of Ages and The Gathering Storm. The core and founders of the 17th shard came from a subset of a different forum. The Mistborn Inquisition RP site was still a big deal back then. The Coppermind Wiki was started some time later. For a better understanding of the history older members like Quiver, Kurkistan were around then ish. Chaos, Rubix, and other staff members have been on since the beginning obviously. I joined around the release of Alloy of Law, when the cosmere was really starting to open up. We had found out about the Shards and Hoid by that point obviously, but our WoB library was still shallow and we didn't have as many books as we do now. Most of our WoB gathering and theorizing were about very functional parts of the magic or lore, and not so much about the grand scheme of the cosmere I think. The Only Joe and Del joined close to the same time as I did. Kobold a few months later I think, or maybe a month earlier. Too lazy to look it up. If I remember correctly, Delightful, Twilyght, and Kaymyth didn't join for quiet a while after that. The beginning of the more casual parts of the forums becoming Very active was when Queen Elsa joined, had an introduction thread that ran in excess of twenty pages, and than formed the Newcago Court. The formation of the Newcago court allowed for much more lighthearted and less strict roleplaying that SE allows, and encouraged other guilds to form, culminating in the ultimate showdowns between Chaos's Lords of Chaos and the Newcago Court, primarily led by Elsa and I, although Joe and Quiver among others were prominant players. The guilds continued, and more and more and more started popping up. The Dark Alley, first founded by Kurk and Swimmingly, but inherited by Voidus hasn't changed much from those days. Many of the roleplayers got tired with running around in circles in the guild halls, and started the Rechoners RP. Kobold King was instrumental to this, but as I wasn't terribly active over there I can't give a good history of it. Somewhere between the guildwars and Reckoner's RPing, the game threads started to hit it big with Nightwatcher, Eastern Street Slang, and several others. When I introduced the Hurt'n'Heal game to the forum it exploded in popularity faster than anything except perhaps the Reckoners RP, but than fell off, and has since gone through one, maybe two revivals. With Reckoners came the era of the Pony. *Shudders* Those were dark days. EVERYONE was being ponified. It was very scary. The discussion threads like Random Stuff, Bad day/Good Day, and the others got established and I think really helped keep many members engaged when they got bored with other sections of the forums. Unfortunately, others like Swimmingly and Queery retired. Many of the early staff who were less active let newer more active members take much of the responsibility for moderating. Reputation points were probably flowing fastest at this point, but there was also quiet a lot of wasted time spent on discussions about upvotes/downvotes, largely due to accidental downvotes being impossible to get rid of. The most prominant current members were starting to emerge as very popular and influential posters, and second tier prominance members were joining. Basically, nothing outrageously interesting happened until the big update in the forum. *realizes that no one asked for what is probably a pretty garbled and narrow view of the history of the shard* *Meh, who cares.*
  19. 15 points
    OK guys, Here's a little summary I am pulling together based on what's been disclosed or can be clearly inferred about Oathbringer excluding any spoiler chapter releases. Kind of like a preview build:- Revealed confirmed elements Amazon Hardcover Link There will be a scene where Jasnah will be in a city which is under attack from a Thunderclast (see revealed cover here ) The book will have Dalinar as a key focus character and bondsmiths will be a focus. One scene will include his visit to the Nightwatcher. (Source) The book will feature Lift in a minor capacity. She will have some viewpoint chapters as well. The book will feature Nal/Nin but his attitude towards the surgebinders would have changed significantly by then (see Arcanum Unbounded). Nal is also using his own honorblade with an asterisk. (Source) Dalinar's wife's name is (Source) Gavilar was also on path to become a bondsmith (Source ) Vivienna might be looking for Vasher in Oathbringer (Source: WoB) Nal's Taravangian will have an interlude (source:?) Rysn will get an interlude (Source) Szeth has 6 chapters in the book, mostly in the last part Sigzil will get a viewpoint chapter (Source) 2 more veristatilians will appear in the next book (Source) Renarin is not healing others with his powers. He’s not really confident in his powers at all. He will develop that way more in book 3. Axies the Aimian is mentioned in Oathbringer, but not seen All the revealed chapters are linked here and the released chapters by Tor.com from Part 1 are linked here Unconfirmed but inferred facts This is a Jasnah chapter between WoR and Oathbringer (link) - uncertain if it will be included in Oathbringer or it is a standalone item like Edgedancer It's speculated that there might be some further developments involving Shallan and Kaladin (perhaps on a romantic/spark/etc). The exact nature of these scenes is uncertain. (Source: WoB) What other things can you add to the list? I want to build a compiled post here, and if you have anything particular, I can append it to the post to provide a compiled list. Revision: pdates from theoryland searches, added the bits from Supernova (Sydney), changed link to the spoiler chapters, Rysn interlude confirmation, bondsmiths book, , link to Jasnah chapter, reworded the Shalladin comment, added amazon preview
  20. 14 points
    Not that that doesn't make sense, but Lift's condition (in relation to her partially inhabiting the Cognitive Realm) is unique, and it seems to me like this ability is probably the Resonance that all Edgedancers share (I don't know if Resonances are uniform within an Order/all people possessing the same two powers, but my current thinking on it is that it varies a bit in expression within the individual but remains mostly consistent). Granted, my evidence for that is highly circumstantial, but it just seems to fit so well. In WoR, it seems like such a clever little joke that the first Edgedancer we see is an uncouth street kid, when the historical Order had such a reputation for eloquence. However, with the evidence in Edgedancer, everything changes. If Lift applied this ability to the highfalutin types that she has so little time for, wouldn't they think she was an exceptionally eloquent young woman? No doubt they would. Of course historians and the like thought the Edgedancers were eloquent and refined. They valued those things, the highborn sources they talked to valued those things, and any encounter they had with an Edgedancer or heard about from an associate would be characterized by the like. Meanwhile, the Edgedancers were probably trading dirty jokes with the stable hands as soon as they were out of earshot.
  21. 13 points
    I've lived with moderate anxiety most of my life, in recent years it has scaled up somewhat and led into bouts of depression. It hasn't been too serious, but although I can live with it, it definitely interferes in my day-to-day ability to do the stuff I need to do. I only recently sought professional help and began seeing a therapist. She asked me to talk about how I cope with these feelings when they get bad, and I was honest with her and told her that I essentially just distract myself from them, usually by reading. I've found that reading fiction, particularly fantasy, transports me from whatever is giving me anxiety and lets the feeling pass. It lets me feel intense emotions when depression is keeping me from feeling them in my own life. I fully expected to be advised against this, to be told that distracting myself from my feelings wasn't a legitimate strategy, that I needed to face reality. But my therapist actually said she thought that was a good, and common strategy that she hears all the time. And that if its working, keep doing it! I'm not saying reading fantasy is a cure-all for these problems, but I really like the idea that it can be an effective coping strategy (among other efforts I'm making toward being mentally well). Stories have been such a huge component of my inner life ever since I was a kid, and the fact that they are so healing for me now makes me smile. Anyways, just felt like tossing this into the internet void in case anyone else has had the same experience and wants to share about it. And love and well wishes to anyone who is dealing with these issues
  22. 12 points
  23. 11 points
    Hey there Sanderfans, I just want to let everyone one know that there is a Brandon-themed Humble Bundle available now. It will be running for the next two weeks and features most of Brandon's novellas, a selection of Mistborn Adventure Game sourcebooks, as well as the Graphic Audio editions of Elantris and Warbreaker. Check it out here! The Bundle is broken up into the following tiers: For those who pay $1 or more Firstborn / Defending Elysium Omnibus The Emperor's Soul Legion Legion: Skin Deep Warbreaker Part 1 - Graphic Audio Elantris Part 1 - Graphic Audio Mistborn Adventure Game For those who pay $8 or more Sixth of the Dusk Shadows for Silence in the Forests of Hell Perfect State Warbreaker Part 2 - Graphic Audio Elantris Part 2 - Graphic Audio Terris: Wrought of Copper - Mistborn Adventure Game For those who pay $15 or more Snapshot Dreamer The Hope of Elantris - Graphic Audio Warbreaker Part 3 - Graphic Audio Elantris Part 3 - Graphic Audio White Sand volume 1 Alloy of Law - Mistborn Adventure Game All told, if you pay $15 you are getting $174 worth of stuff (that's over 90% off). For reference, just one Part of the Graphic Audio adaptations ordinarily costs $14. It is also important to note that The Emperor's Soul, Legion, and Legion: Skin Deep are not available in regions where Gollancz has exclusive distribution rights (pretty much anywhere that used to be part of the British Empire). Also this Humble Bundle is currently (as far as I can tell) the only place to get the solo ebook release of Dreamer and the Graphic Audio edition of The Hope of Elantris. In other news Amazon.com has a listing up for preorder for a solo hardcover release of Edgedancer. Previously, Edgedancer was going to be exclusive to Arcanum Unbounded for five years but it looks like Tor is amending their contract with Brandon in order to give it an individual release in October 2017. Just in time for a re-read before the release of Oathbringer in November! Nauvoo Games, who are making the Reckoners board game, has also posted some pictures on Twitter, from an event they did last month: I do not know for sure if this is the actual art style they are planning for the game, but I really hope it is. I think it captures the feel of the Reckoners trilogy perfectly. I also love that they used the Superman symbol, presumably as the symbol of the Faithful. Unfortunately however, I doubt that will remain in the actual release due to licensing reasons. Especially since the pendant in Abraham's portrait uses a different design for it. Edit: Since the people over at Nauvoo Games are awesome they just shared on Twitter that there will also be minis included in the game and posted a mock-up of a mini for Abraham!
  24. 11 points
    Aaaaaactually, as you mentioned a second person. I'm not really sure I agree. ********** Biology nerd broke loose, proceed reading for an instant headache. ************** The only reason people, and I'm pretty sure all mammals require both a male and a female in the process, is the absence of a mitotic spindle (the thingy that makes your cells divide) in the egg cells - we need a sperm cell to provide it, then the division can start. Many animals that DO have the mitotic spindle in their egg cells are capable of parthenogenesis - a process, where a single egg cell, with nothing else needed first duplicates the genetic information (as eggs are haploid = contain only half compared to all other cells) and then proceeds to divide and form an embryo, and...well, you know how it goes this is actually pretty common in insects and such. So, as kandra can do, well, various stuff with their cells, I'm pretty sure they would be able to develop an egg cell with the mitotic spindle...and have babies with themselves ********************************** The end of bio-nerd blabber **************************************** But thanks for confirming the rest
  25. 11 points
    I also think that the lack of sex between Lightsong and Blushweaver is one of the things that make the relationship what it is. Blushweaver has had her way in every other relationship she's been in, but Lightsong is the exception. He's an enigma that she can't figure out, and never does. To add in a sex scene between them would completely remove one of the most unique--and ironic--things about their relationship.
  26. 11 points
    Welcome to the Shard @Rockobar *waves*. I must say, you have certainly entered with bang. Also, upvote because I don't think you deserve all those downvotes, you stated your opinion, and, even though I don't agree with it, I can respect the fact that you did so in a respectful manner. Anyway, welcome! Now onwards to my points (this sounds like a debate now...) which turned out waaay longer than I expected. Whoops. Overall, I would say that you are asking Brandon to be un-Brandon. Every artist has a hallmark to their art, and I think that if Brandon were to do some of the things you talk about, it would ultimately diverge his writing from his personality in his writing, as well as the story that he wants to tell. You refer to the upbringing and how it resulted in this view which is obviously misguided, but if we did not have authors of different upbringings and views, what would be the point in reading. If every story was the same in the outlook it presents, would you be interested in reading it? I know that I wouldn't. Firstly, on the topic of sexuality. I am personally very grateful for the fact that there is very little sexual scenes in the Cosmere. As an asexual myself, I find it refreshing to see a modern, adult fantasy series that doesn't involve some kind of explicit sex. Half the time when it occurs in a book, I'll roll my eyes skim the section to see if there is anything important and move on (I skipped pages and pages of Game of Thrones, rolling my eyes as I did). I would personally prefer to read about something that actually influences story and character in books (which are already getting very, very long) rather than a sex scene for the sake of a sex scene. "Raw primal desire" as you put it, is not the sole form of what makes us human. Humans are a complex being, as you have pointed out, and while it is a factor in who we are, I personally believe that humans are so, so much more than lust that they feel, and not every part of human life can, or indeed should be included in a book, simply because it does not have enough relevance to the story to warrant being included. Also, I would say that doing this makes the books more accessible to people of younger years On your point on religion now. Religion is something that has been a foundation of human society for milenia, and has had a profound impact in culture throughout much of the world, from creating the backbone of morality, to societal structure. Violence and peace can both result from religion, and it is a vital part of a culture. I would also say, particularly on your points on the diagram is to wait and see, because I think it will be an interesting ride, because we're only 2 books in. Now, onto genre. I must say, we have highly different opinions on this, because the mish-mash of genres is something that really appeals to me. Fantasy owes a lot to Grandpa Tolkien, but far too often, I believe, authors get stuck in a rut of making very fantasy fantasy (hopefully that makes sense). I know very few fantasy trilogies that show an obvious growth of society, over time, as culture is not static, but is a very fluid concept that is always changing, as does technology. I find that it is extremely refreshing to see this in a fantasy book. Also, on a bit of a side note, I love how I have no idea what genre Mistborn era 2 (1.5?) in that it's a strange cross between fantasy, sci-fi, western, crime, thriller and probably a few more chucked in there. Life is rarely so black and white. So, whilst I disagree with many of the points that you have made, I think it is great that you put your ideas out there, even though they might not be very popular ideas (especially on your first post). I hope I didn't sound too aggressive in my writing (sorry if I did), but I would love your thoughts on my thoughts on your thoughts (yay for overly confusing sentence). See you round the shard!
  27. 11 points
    To anyone who is not satisfied with their results, you can always ask the Dark Alley for help.
  28. 10 points
    Seeing as it tied with Stormlight, here's the first White Sand meme.
  29. 10 points
    everyone, try to calm down. yes, that letter is poorly conceived and it has some "my world view is the one true view and so I feel i must impose it on everyone else", but it was politely worded and therefore deserves a polite response. Do we not brag about the niceness of this community? Is this not a place where one can write his ideas without fear of being bashed if they do not conform to the majority? And, perhaps most relevant to the specific case, can we convince him of his mistake by calling GRRM an old pervy and his followers people who are only in for the sex and violence? This is the same attitude we want to discourage. Yes, the OP dislikes many of the things that are the mark of sanderson and that are exactly what most of us likes about his books. Yes, the OP shows he has not understood some subtleties of the story - you'd be surprised, but not everyone reread every book several times looking for subtle clues and then goes to find all the author's interviews; casual readers don't know of adonalsium or hoid - and he probably cherry-picked some evidence to support his wrong conclusions about religion in the books. and yes, he had a somewhat arrogant attitude about it - something many people, me included, can adopt without realizing. There just isn't enough to bash him like some of the replies did.
  30. 9 points
    You know you are a Sanderfan when you replace the miniature bride and groom on your wedding cake with Syl and Pattern figures.
  31. 8 points
    So last night I couldn't sleep. I was restless and worrying about alot of crap. Then I just sort of started writing, and well, here's what I came up with. This is the creation myth for the world I conceived. And I think it could apply to our world as well ------------------------------------- On Harmony, and the Creation of the world In the beginning, there was a single note. A pure, clear, constant note. This was known as the tune of Chaos. Then one day, the note was broken, and out rushed the ocean from the discord. The ocean created and filled the first sphere of existence, and added it’s own song to the tune of chaos. And there was harmony once more. 5 more discords occurred, and with each one something new was made. The second discord happened, and the sky spread from the broken harmony, overlapping the ocean and it created and filled the second sphere of existence. But the sky was empty, and it only rang with one note. But there was harmony again nonetheless. Then the third discord struck, and out spurted the heavens, greater and even more all-encompassing than the sky. They pushed and redefined the boundaries of the world, creating and filling the third sphere. There were 7 layers to the heavens, and each brought with them an octave to add to the song of the universe, for before then, the world sung on one octave, and was mostly empty. They added their tranquil and ethereal siren song to the symphony that was creation. For now the heavens were empty, there was nothing but chaos that filled the gaps. And there was harmony once again. From the fourth discord came the first manifestation of life. The Mariner. Sprung from one of the greatest discords the music had experienced. The Mariner was flung into the oceans with a ship and a lantern. His advent created and filled the fourth sphere of existence. The Immortal Plane. The symphony became a cacophony now. There was no more harmony. For with the mariner came his discordant tunes, the song of displaced life. And the mariner spent his days sailing the now chaotic seas, concepting land wherever he went, all sprung from the discords of his music Thus he created and filled the fifth sphere of existence Earth itself The discord continued for many centuries, until the mariner finally began to question the world truly. These questions, tho he had no answers, slowly brought a semblance of order as the mariner endeavoured to find answers. Over time, the heavens stopped reaching into the world, the oceans stilled, the storms stopped and the sky sang a pure note once more Finally, there was a recognisable melody, the melody of a the mind. A quiet piercing melody. Not quite harmony, but a semblance of it. But one day. The Mariner gave up, he stopped looking for answers, stopped asking questions. And with his broken will, the harmony was shattered. And with this tumultuous discord, came mortal life First in the form of a bird, a white dove. It was the first animal to to explore the new world, the first creature to travel the land. It created and filled the sixth sphere of existence: The Mortal Plane And with it, the music became wilder and chaotic, a complicated, overlapping on-rush of discord. One day, as the dove sung its song, a bolt of lightning struck it asunder, and the Mariner, by the fate of the music, stumbled upon it's broken corpse. For then, the spirit couldn't leave the body after death, unless the proper rites were performed The mariner fashioned a draught of life, with his tears and the waters of the ocean. And administered to the bird, nurturing it and rejuvenating it back to life. And with this came a special thing, for the Mariner created something, Love. Love was created, and it filled the six known spheres of existence. And the mariner found an answer. Love was the answer. And with this revelation, the bird died a second time, but with it's death, a star, twinkled into existence in the sky, the first star, the morning star, the evening star. A sign of hope and love for all! The star represented the first story of the world. The story of creation and love. The song of first age of the earth. The Mariner ascended to the heavens after burying the dove's limp body. He no longer sailed the seas, but sailed the stars themselves! And he became both sun and moon, his lantern the sun, himself the moon. His arm was always outstretched, carrying the lantern before him and lighting the way for the world. And so there was Day and Night. The Mariner knew his purpose now, and it was to nurture and kindle the stars, to preserve the stories made and pass them down to the land he now oversaw. To guide the world beneath him and shed light on the answers that were sought by all, just as the dove shed light on the answers he sought. With the advent of love; burst forward more life and music; filling the mortal sphere, the land, the sky, the oceans. And with these creatures, they brought their own stories, developing over the course of their mortal existence Whereupon the end, they ascend to the stars and heavens. Their souls continuing to the heavens, their light, their story, painted on the dark canvas of night. Kept and kindled by the Mariner, their souls able to enter the heavens peacefully. There was a seventh sphere, not one of existence but one of non-existence. A counterpoint to to the creation of everything. The seventh sphere was a subtle one. The Void. No harmony, no discord, no music. This sphere seeped into the other spheres, corrupting and defiling. The music was the genetic code of the universe, and the Void removed the music, taking away notes and tones, “chromosomes”. Mutating and defiling the symphony. The only way to battle it was to look to the stars, and find hope. For hope was the only thing that the void feared. And that was how the world was created, not through some divine plan, but through mistakes. Many many mistakes. And questioning, and searching for answers, through ideas and stories, for they are truly the things that shape the world around us. Our flaws can be our greatest source of strength, our reasons for asking questions, for searching for answers. They are the reasons we strive to be better people, the reason we love, live and endeavour. But they can also be the reasons we fall, the source of our darkest thoughts and deeds. But through our stories, through our compassion which is innate in all things. we can bring harmony to the discord and guide others. support each others and add our tales to the stars. Nothing was ever perfect and nothing will always be perfect Our stories are the tools from which we change and shape the world, our songs are the partof a greater symphony of life. Always have hope and never throw away your story, everything is worth it and there is no reason to stop living and evolving. And there was harmony forevermore. -------------------------- This is just the scribblings I wrote, I still need to explain things like the clouds, the rain and crap heh.
  32. 8 points
    Just made a pixelart of Kvothe to procrastinate a bit. Ok, didn't realize it is so small, seems a bit ridiculous.
  33. 8 points
    i think you remember it wrong. ivory never specifically says it's not the painspren. the exchange goes "but they are harmless" "on your side, harmless. on this side, harmmore". so it definittely refers to the painspren
  34. 8 points
    He...was tapping a bit too much electrum and storing a bit too much zinc. And Breeze was in the corner fiddling with his emotions.
  35. 8 points
    cool guys don't look at explosions. Clearly, you have nailed this aspect of life.
  36. 7 points
    I literally need to be a chromium misting right now. I need to skip the next few months and get to November 14th
  37. 7 points
    I second @WeiryWriter's answer to this. Speaking as someone with Asperger's syndrome (a kind of high-functioning autism), I can say with certainty that it is a fundamental part of my identity: it's absolutely not something that I would want to be "cured" of, even if you were to pay me for it. At the end of the day, all it really means is that I think differently to how most people do, and that's not a bad thing. What on Roshar makes you think that Kaladin will have feelings towards Jasnah? They seem completely unsuited for each other. Jasnah is, A) too old for him, and B ) far too much of a traditional lighteyes for him to be interested, surely.
  38. 6 points
    Seriously, we are one of the weirder fandoms. For example: -our most revered character is a small piece of wood -the learning curve isn't evident until you've fallen off of it (Cosmere only) -We can claim ownership/partnership with an entirely separate fandom (WoT) -We don't argue about which book is the best -Or which character. Because of said Stick Why else are different and more awesome than other fandoms?
  39. 6 points
    It may get a RAFO because he doesn't want us to know too much about Resonances yet (which is not to say that we shouldn't try). I'm still pretty sold on that being the case, though. It might be somewhat different for Lift--indeed, my suspicion about how Resonances work is that they're all the same general ability, but it's a little different for every individual--but the evidence seems pretty compelling to me. Granted, there is only a single line about the historical Edgedancers being very eloquent, but it seems like Lift also has that in her. During her final confrontation with Nalan, her speech patterns change in a very interesting way. In the orphanage she shouts, "Darkness! The one they call Nin, or Nale! Nakku, the Judge! I'm here. It's me! The one you tried--and failed--to kill in Azir!" Then when she forces him to confront the Everstorm and the parshmen becoming Voidbringers she says, "I heard what you said, Darkness! You were trying to prevent the Desolation. Look behind you! Deny what you're seeing!" That is not how Lift usually talks. She hasn't suddenly become a master orator, but she is much more articulate than usual. And that really squares with the Edgedancer vows. Remembering the forgotten and listening to the ignored doesn't really go hand-in-hand with eloquence, necessarily. It does, however, match up pretty precisely with the ability to always speak to someone in their own personal language. There's something special about talking to someone who uses the same words that you do and always puts things in a way that really resonates with you. I'd be really surprised if it turned out that Edgedancers don't all have some version of this ability.
  40. 5 points
    So my mom has been photographing a pair of Great Horned Owl babies at a local park in Ohio and sending me pictures, and some of them were just begging to be memefied. So here, enjoy memes of fluffy owlets! Things kids complain about #2378: bathtime. Channeling Christopher Walken: If Captain Kirk had been an owl: Do I even need to explain this reference, or is it too old for most people here? Owl gazes are the epitome of "intense": Parents never get a break...not even owl parents! Birdhemian Rhapsody (Thanks to @bleeder for that awesome pun!):
  41. 5 points
    So, the world's kinda going to crem. Tensions are high, and I'll admit I'm a bit scared for everyone. I just wanted to let you all know that I love you, all of you. Everything's gonna be okay.
  42. 5 points
    I completely agree with you on this one, Stormy. "Hey, you're about to die. Let's do the sex," is not poignant, to me. Especially for Brandon, it would be idiosyncratic at best. Though for some individuals sex is the pinnacle of romance, in my view it is not. This sort of walks back to the "humans are more than just death and sex" thing. That's a really cynical way of looking at life, my man. We have art, we have music, we have literature, we have love. These are the things that define us as us, not just the will to survive and proliferate. We are wonderful, intricate, beautiful creatures, whether made by a higher power or not, and we are more than just highly intelligent animals. We have culture, and the things within that shared culture that define us.
  43. 4 points
  44. 4 points
    What did brandon get drunk on, soda? Mormons don't drink. I would love to read this stones unhallowed parody though.
  45. 3 points
    Hey, everyone! Name's Alleb. I'm a huge fan of Sanderson (never heard that before, I expect) and I thought I should finally introduce myself on here. So... Hi! Also, here's an image that perfectly describes how my interactions on this forum will go. -Alleb
  46. 3 points
    Theoretically speaking, how long could Lift wield Nightblood in an IHOP on all you can eat pancake day?
  47. 3 points
    Do you really think Brandon would drop such a huge spoiler? Brandon will often give vague answers to vaguely worded questions and this looks like another example. I wouldn't say there's much that you can really say from that particular WoB apart from: Shallan and Kaladin will meet a few times (ie Kaladin won't be away the entire book) and there might be "sparks" but it doesn't tell us where they end up at all. I'd suggest being quite careful about this sort of thing, unless you're happy to take a "tabloid" type stance on "facts".
  48. 3 points
    Couldn't a Kandra just mimic a sperm cell AND an egg cell? Problem solved, no need for bio headaches. (But the above was super interesting; have an upvote!)
  49. 3 points
    You see a thick, worn paperback on a table, and you get irrationally excited thinking it might be a Sanderson book, but no, it's a dictionary
  50. 3 points
    I'm an Oldblood. We don't rule Alethkar anymore, but when we did, we ruled better than Elhokar at least.
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