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  1. The word cultivation automatically calls to mind the idea of plants, of growth, and of nature. As such, many of us — myself included — have internally made the assumption that Cultivation is something of a wild, primal force. However, I have recently realized that there is a fundamental difference between this interpretation and the actual definition of cultivation; indeed, one might actually say they were opposites.
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  2. For a study on character development, I think this is showing some benefit. The topic is interesting, and I like the view of a man lying on a hill without us knowing anything about him, then learning his life story and seeing the same view with understanding. I do have some issue with the way you show the character development happening. Because it's all Gan remembering, there's a lot of telling rather than showing, and the explanations become dry and passive. Maybe if you structured it so we see a piece of action for each memory that exemplifies that change in character? i.e. don't tell that he's a thief, but show him stealing something. Don't tell that he's an untruthful ruler, but show a behind-locked-doors meeting, bribing his enemies. Have him weeping over the bodies of his wife and sons... Because the first part is inactive, the second half seems tacked on and not as strong when Gan is offered the opportunity to become a star. With a more active beginning, we would be more emotionally invested in Gan, and thus more invested in his actions at the end of the story. Overall, I like the idea, and it seems like a good exercise. Also, magic and gunpowder is always a fun combination...
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  3. Here is chapter 9 of The Seeds of Dissolution, which introduces the third and (I think) final POV of the book. Previously: Origon has flown a capsule the Methiemum moon, discovered a strange abberation that defies natural law, and reported back to the ruling members of Methiem and to his friend Rilan, on the Council of the Maji. Sam, living on Earth, escaped a strange energy-sucking coldness, but was unable to save his aunt. He escaped through the hole in the fireplace of his house, and met up with Origon in the Nether. Sam learned about the Nether and the city of the Imperium, Origon took him to see the Council, and Councilor Rilan determined that she and Sam are the same species. I'm looking for critique on character development, worldbuilding, pacing, learning curve, and any confusion with new words. Thanks!
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  4. Search didn't come up with results indicating this connection has been noticed before (but my luck with searches is less than stellar) though the term has been: We know of two orders for sure: Windrunners and Stonewards, and possibly a third: Dustbringers. We know each one has different powers. I think i just found another order's name: Brightcallers. On page 918, someone says "By the Brightcaller's rays." Why is this significant? Well, on page 830 it is said: "You've told me that the Radiants could fly and walk on walls." "They sure could. And make stone melt by looking at it. And move great distances in a single hearthbeat. And command the sunglight. And-". Brightcaller's rays. Command the sunlight. Pretty obvious, isn't it?
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  5. My first try was MEETHH-ee-ee-mum, but I think I settled mostly on meeth-ee-EE-mum. OR-ih-gon, OR-eye for Rilan's nickname for him. rih-LAWN EE-nohs That's how I figure 'em. Ah ya, I forgot to mention this, too. I kept wondering if possibly Origon could have used a sort of 'search engine' on those parameters to narrow it down.
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  6. I think your story is progressing nicely. I think the Nether as a concept is really cool, and I like the intrigue of Sam being like the Methiemum but obviously not from the same world. I loved reading from Rilan's point of view. She has an interesting way of looking at things. I'm excited to see more interaction between Rilan and her new apprentice as well. It seems like that's going to be a fun thing to watch. Also, how on earth did they stick her with an apprentice who doesn't believe in the kind of science-magic that she does? That seems like a crazy oversight or a real jerk-move. Overall, I love love love this story so far. I'm sitting here wondering what happens next at this very moment. Some things that were a little off for me: I realize that you are working on Sam's reactions to the world, and his agoraphobia, etc. I was concerned more by how his reactions to others are. Being agoraphobic, he obviously hasn't been around a lot of people in his life(well the most recent part at least). I feel like he would probably have a hard time relating to others and/or be incredibly shy, unless his Aunt had a lot of visitors, or a large family that visited frequently, or did a lot of web communication. Why didn't Sam try telling Origon what his solar system was like? He might not know a lot of details, but he would probably know the basics: Yellow sun, 8-9 planets depending on when he was born, Jupiter is humungous, Saturn has Rings.. the color of Earth/Mars, etc... Origon might not know what he was talking about, but I'd assume Sam would try all the information he knew of his world.
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  7. I actually like the interludes. It gives some good background for the characters. I would either avoid anything consequential or important happening (like the thugs in the last chapter) if you aren't planning to follow up on it later. This chapter interlude is better because it develops the characters while not promising anything to the reader. I don't have any problems in the transition from child to adult. They all seem to act in a consistent manner, or at least nothing has jumped out at me. As to the chapter itself: The daydream runs a little long for me... I was mostly chuckling over how Bleys, if he's like any other man, would not have planned any of this like Elizabeth imagines, almost comically so. [reads the rest of the chapter] ...and yep, he didn't. Sounds about right. I think the setup and payoff in the chapter was good, but a little over-obvious. You did all the right things, but maybe don't drag them out as much. We can already guess the date won't go well from the title, but then Elizabeth daydreaming for so long belabors the point and makes the reader even more certain of the result. I do like the mention of some future tech, along with the caution that they have to stay out of sight, and that's why they don't use it. Interested to see what happens with James Nguyen. I assume him bumping into them was not an accident. Elizabeth gets cold a lot in this chapter...just something that popped out at me.
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  8. ok, I will try and go chronologically. I like Rilan's PoV. I am interested in her, (finally) and I like the set up with Enos. - I'm assuming we will be seeing more of Enos? Page 1: This little curse kinda brought me out of the story for just a moment- Origon's not technically a man right? I mean he's got feathers sprouting where hair should be right? This was my thought process when I read that part. "wait a second-I don't think he's a man, right? But I don't really remember what he looks like either...i think he has feathers?...maybe I should flip back and look...eh, I'm too lazy - ok let's get back to the story." I think you have a fun opportunity to come up with an original descriptive curse that is memorable/maybe slightly funny and re-affirms some of Origon's physical characteristics. i.e "Curse his feathery mustache!" (Obviously, you know him better than I do because all I remember is that he has a mustache made of feathers) Just a thought. Page 2: I think sequence would be stronger if you dropped the second sentence. You have already intimated that Rilan is going to manipulate Enos to see what makes her tick a couple sentences before this when she wondered how to best make use of Enos's attachment. Spelling out for the reader that she was trying a physiological tactic is redundant and I feel is telling rather than showing. By cutting that one sentence I think it makes her frustration stronger because the reader can infer for themselves that what she just tried didn't work. Again, just a thought. Page 3: I know I keep harping on this, but I'm just not buying Sam in this first part of his scene. I'm assuming that Sam's present day on Earth is fairly close to ours right? In which case, the term 'Master' isn't just an academic term- it almost has a dirty connotation. In our day and age it's sooo in-politically correct to refer to someone as inferior (I don't want you to be confused as me attacking you for using it or anything- it fits your story) but that in our world people get really offended if it's implied that they aren't equal to someone. And yet Sam is surprisingly chill about the whole thing. He's just taking everything into stride sooooo well. If I didn't know better I'd think he was medicated! I mean he just figured out a little while ago that he's not even in his own galaxy anymore! and now his entire existence is to be governed by a weird pompous alien? He's already skipped to 'can the Nether replace my home'- as if accepting that he my never see it again, Not fearing that he may never see it. I think I could accept his persona a lot better if Sam were actually following the stages of Grief (Denial, Anger, Bargaining,Depression, Acceptance) at losing his aunt and home and incorporating his fear of the future. Obviously not every person displays these stages in the same way or for the same amount of time, but people DO go through them after suffering something and I think Sam would be made stronger as a character if we could see him struggling with some of these things. Not to say he has to be overwhelmed by them ( although I don't think it would be far-fetched to be overwhelmed by being ripped from your home, watching your aunt die, finding out that there ARE aliens...and oh wait, you aren't even in your galaxy anymore, and now you don't even really control your own life anymore because you have a master (alien master!) that will dictate your every move for what looks like years to come!) I like his sense of wonder but people can be very contradictory within themselves. He can still be terrified -or whatever and still have that sense of 'this is so cool!' People are complex creatures! I really like the further description of the Nether. Very cool and well done in describing it. The floor was really interesting to read. Page 5: Sam's reaction to the start map was fantastic. We are finally seeing some of the cracks in him from his agoraphobia. Great scene. Very well done. The star map reminded me of Titan A.E. and Stargate Atlantis. Can't wait to read next week's chapter!
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  9. ^First of all, here's the link for that quote. As a rule, it's always good to make sure that there is a trail of breadcrumbs, so that people who haven't seen that quote can also see the (presumably new to them) interview it came from, as well as cite it directly in the future. EDIT: Yes, it's from the same interview as Flash cited, but the principle remains. Second, I would hazard that Odium has refrained from placing any of his power into anything, or at least any significant amount of it. Honor and Cultivation caused Spren (this may or may not have cost power in the long run), Ruin and Preservation created humans and animals (though it could be the case that the only thing that actually "cost" anything was Preservation specifically investing Humans with a "divine spark"), Endowment endows Returned, and Aona and Skai were probably doing something too. So far as we know, Odium has not invested his power into anything. If he is directly responsible for the Voidbringers, then that is probably to a relatively small degree, as opposed to planet-wide investment of Investitures that do not directly benefit the ability of a Shard to combat other Shards.
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  10. Very nice work! Ok, to the point, then Character Development: Each character seems to have a unique personality, which is good. I feel like I can connect to Rilan, Origon, and Sam. Enos is still a mystery, but that seems to be the point. Worldbuilding: The Nether is a cool concept, how Origon describes it. The way Sam appears to be the same race as Rilan is also a cool idea, and I'm wondering how that will be explained. The overall 'ten species' thing is also a good setup for your story. The kelhiw sounds cool, but I don't know enough about it yet from what I've read to give any opinion. I guess I better do that catch-up reading. Ha ha! Pacing: I guess I would say the pacing seems like the story is moving on in this chapter smoothly with a sense of "people are getting to know each other" scenario. Nothing exciting, but definitely learning going on. Learning curve: Even though I don't understand how the magic system works yet, you are delivering bits and pieces in a way that allows me to pick up on it pretty well so far. The descriptions of color and how Sam perceives the kelhiw are good. In fact, having Sam as a character who is learning and thinking about what he is learning, alongside us readers, is a perfect tool for helping us see things the right way. If that's all the purpose Sam serves in this story, it will be good enough, though I am interested in seeing how he meets or does not meet his personal goals. Confusion with new words: I didn't notice any, other than 'kelhiw' and some deity names. Those all make sense. You explained them well enough for me to get the gist. Not a new word, but I have to admit, the name of Rilan's race, the Methiemum, is cool, but I am struggling with a proper way to pronounce it in my head. Did I miss a part where Sam learns to pronounce it in an earlier chapter? I guess it doesn't matter, but I personally can't quite settle on one way to say it. xD I guess I'm not used to reading Sci-fi stuff, so alien names aren't my strength. Is it mee-thee-EE-mum or perhaps MEE-thee-mum or maybe METH-ee-mum or meth-EYE-mum? In the overall aspect, I continue to enjoy your work! This story, from what little I have witnessed, has novel-quality written all over it.
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  11. Just a little more to add to why Odium might be more powerful. edit: chopped the post
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  12. Well, presumably one of the rules is: "Cannot manifest directly and lay waste to the planet" otherwise he probably would have done so on Sel... Maybe the Shards cannot mess with free will in mortals... (although Parshendi = Voidbringers would make that unlikely)
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  13. Thought this would be useful to bring in this quote. Source
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  14. Except that Ruin and Preservation oppose each other, which would make controlling both of them at the same time them difficult.
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  15. Kaladin plunged into the depth of the building, Odium's lackeys hot in his tail. Once they'd found Urithiru in their desperate quest they fought it was over. But it turned out they weren't the only ones who'd found it... who thought the city would have been here? These thoughts tumbled over his mind as he slid down the crem covered wall deep into the earth. Eventually he reached the bottom, using a three quarters lashing to slow his fall just before. He landed softly. Was this the place? The fabled vault? That was the location Shallan had told him before she had ascended to take up the lost mantle of Cultivation. Perhaps he could find a weapon in here strong enough to protect his companions from the black storm. He walked further in, the darkness tight around his skin. He missed Syl. She would have been there to help until... so much blood. He didn't even know that spren could bleed. He was lucky he had been able to take the source of Szeth's power in the battle. He turned a corner and there it was. The armory of the Heralds. Every artifact they had ever made. And there in the centre- the pillar. Kaladin grasped it, and thought of every honorable deed he had ever done. And then, ten heartbeats later, he manifested the Shardspear. Afterword by Brandon Sanderson It was always hard for me to think of a good place to end the series, but I think this is it. It's been almost 25 years since I first started working on this book and I really think this is the best way to end the book. As always, you have my sincere thanks for reading the book. It may be a while before we come back to the Cosmere. After this, see excerpts from my latest book, Steelheart 3- heart of iron. You will be seeing Steelheart 4- heart of gold next year I hope. I know you all prefer my non cosmere books, so we'll be having a few more years of people with many types of metallic hearts. Thank you again. I wish that Vin had got a readable (readable for her or people near her) copy of the Mistborn books halfway through the hopefully soon to be changed events of Final Empire.
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  16. Dalinar's vision where he sees Nohadon establishes a couple major things. 1. The bond between a person and a spren that grants Surgebinding abilities is called a Nahel bond, and honorspren are a subset of spren capable of forming Nahel bonds. It seems likely to me that Syl is this type of spren. 2. This scene predates Nohadon's establishment of the Knights Radiant, in fact, it is a major influence in his decision to form the Knights Radiant. He observes that Surgebinders, while powerful, are difficult to control, and that makes them dangerous to the world as a whole. And so how do you restrain and channel Surgebinders? By imposing certain rules on the spren. It sounds difficult, but it's actually really simple, if you look at the spren researcher Geranid's interlude. In the words of Terry Prachett's Discworld: "Because of quantum" Geranid takes simple measurements of flamespren (length, height, luminosity), once a spren's characteristic is recorded, it becomes fixed. Interestingly, this only remains in effect as long as the measurement isn't erased. Flamespren probably aren't capable of forming Nahel bonds, but what applies to them likely applies to some degree towards Bondspren. Prior to Nohadon's Way of Kings, there were no Ideals, so then why should these Ideals written in his book be important to Surgebinders? They certainly are important, we can observe that just by seeing what happens when Kaladin says the Second Ideal of the Windrunners. “I will protect those who cannot protect themselves.” He gains an immediate boost in vitality, and observes that afterwords, Stormlight works better for him. This was Nohadon's goal in the first place, he encourages Surgebinders to be better people by forcing them to observe the Ideals of their Orders, which are tied to the Divine Attributes of each particular bond. (Protecting/Leading for Windrunners) This in turn allows them greater power, perhaps even greater power than before the Ideals. The First Ideal is the same for all the Orders: "Life before death, strength before weakness, journey before destination." The Second through Fifth Ideals were all unique for each Order. 4 x 10 = 40. Supposition: Each of those parables contains/represents an Ideal. When Geranid took a measurement, it only affected one flamespren, and random likely numbers couldn't be used, it had to be an actual measurement. This raises some questions. Are there, written somewhere on Roshar, observations that limit each individual Bondspren? Where would they be, and how many would there have to be for it to force all Surgebinders to behave in the manner of Knight Radiants? Or is the existence of a single copy of Way of Kings enough to limit all Nahel spren? The efficacy of broad, sweeping statements seems extremely unlikely from Geranid's interlude. Especially in a case such as this, where it isn't clear to Dalinar just from being read the book what the Ideals are or what they are doing. Thoughts/Criticisms?
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  17. We have not been told he is the most powerful of shards. Brandon has explicitly said all of the shards are equal in power. Rayse is especially deadly because his shard is "frightening and terrible" and because he is "loathsome, crafty, and dangerous" not because of any special power. Odium is likely deadlier than other shards because he has a very offense oriented intent and because the man holding the shard is intelligent enough to use it well and manipulate people. Harmony is, by far, the most powerful of the shards as he holds two shards. Harmony could likely defeat any shard with ease.
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