Yeah, you guys only thought I was going to be reacting to the book. You didn’t know you actually signed up for ‘Steris Appreciation Podcast 2016.’ Here we go.

    This week, featuring special guest star: my kitten who loves to sniff the microphone while she’s purring and interrupt me. She’s smol. And naughty. And I love her.

    Okay. Nothing’s going wrong. Okay? It’s the first chapter of this book. Everything can still go smooth! We don’t need conflict yet. We can have cutes. Alright? Brandon, I’m like, staring at you across the room. Don’t do this to me. Just give me a good, nice wedding.

    And now in earnest, the book begins.

    Y’all knew I was gonna get rekt over these opening chapters, right? Steris is my daughter and I love her and she deserves eternal happiness. Unfortunately for her, she’s in a novel written by Brandon Sanderson, which means everything has to go wrong. Of course.

    Ha. You're not--You're not gonna follow the rules, Wax. Come on. Let's just go. Let's--Let's just do this. I'm curious, you're curious. Let's go. Out the window with you.

    Daaaaang, Feather. Back at it again with that Splintercast!

    Though I guess it probably doesn’t feel like we're "back at it" since Shadows of Self just wrapped up last week. Regardless! Here we go again. Now we're getting into Bands of Mourning and I hope you all are as excited for this as I am. We're in for a wild ride, so strap in.

    I'm feeling it. I'm feeling this theory, guys. It would be so horrible. It would be so awful. It would wreck Wax so bad. And that's exactly why it should happen. Am I a bad person? Yeah. Yeah I am. I'm sorry... But I'm really excited.

    So, it seems that I missed a week, what with me travelling to meet Brandon and also happening to be rather supreme garbage. So, to make it up to you, TWO EPISODE END OF BOOK EXTRAVAGANZA. We're finishing this book in one long binge of two episodes. Let's do it, right?

    Gosh dangit, Brandon. Stop killing people! You’re as bad as Bleeder is!

    In which Current!Feather stays up late after working her two jobs full-time and part-time back to back to get this episode edited… only to listen to Past!Feather in the recording staying up late after working her two jobs back to back in order to read. Well. Some things never change.

    On this episode, Wax and the crew are deep within their investigation of our mysterious antagonist, and trying to piece together the reasons behind her enigmatic actions. Meanwhile, the police are getting rather tired of putting up with all the Dawnshot’s antics, which honestly, seems pretty valid considering how much trouble he can be.

    “Whaaaat? I’m so lost. What’s going on? Brandon, you’re yanking me! I’m getting yanked over here!”

    After a brief break to let everyone gnaw on their new copies of Bands of Mourning for a little while, Splintercast returns to keep going through Shadows of Self! A quick reminder that there are to be no spoilers for Bands of Mourning or Secret history discussed in the comments, even under spoiler tags, until the spoiler ban is lifted. Thank you!

    "I just need to give the God of the world a hug, okay? I'm just... I'm just gonna hug him. Anybody got a problem with that?"

    Another week, another Splintercast!

    In this week's episode, I flail over finding out more about our lovely villain for this book, squee over the reappearance of an original Mistborn trilogy character, and talk about the philosophical question of whether technological progression is inherently valuable. And of course, the most beautiful of fandom experiences: the sailing of a new ship.

    This week, Splintercast continues reading Shadows of Self! The plot thickens, you hear more about Alyx's RP (because of course you do, this should be expected). And it's a long episode too: about fifty minutes long! You get a lot of Alyx this week. Too bad she couldn't write this. She said, "I'm too busy" and "two sixteen hour days in a row are the worst." What a slacker. (Just kidding.)

    Be careful what you wish for, Alyx! "I'd love to see an awesome lady villain," she says. Heh heh... Yeah, about that.

    In a shocking twist, a lowly moderator has hijacked the news feed from the treacherous admins to bring you all this: the return of Splintercast!

    And this time, I, your intrepid hero FeatherWriter (also occasionally known as Alyx), am here to take on Shadows of Self! Perhaps a bit delayed... but well, hacking my way into the 17th Shard news feed is no small task. I thank you for you patience, dear listeners, and now we can get to the fun!

    For those new to Splintercast, I record my reactions in real time as I read new cosmere books for the first time, then edit them down to one cohesive, crazy listening experience. All in all, you can expect a good deal of running theories, in-the-moment commentary, shipping, crying, celebrating, and yelling at characters when they're dumb. And Steris appreciation. Someone has to appreciate Steris Harms and I am just the fangirl for the job. It's its own brand of craziness, but also a lot of fun.

    Tomorrow, Shardcast returns, and this time it is live and on video! What could go wrong? Sssh, don't remind us about the terrible Words of Radiance release stream, it will be flawless. The stream will begin 6:00pm Mountain time, which is 5pm Pacific and 8pm Eastern. And if you miss it, it'll be on Youtube immediately!

    We can't promise it will stay on topic, but we can promise it is at least a shard of a Brandon Sanderson podcast.

    It's a horrible, horrible thing to keep you waiting, so here's a Splintercast very early Wednesday. In fact, you've waited for this moment since you first heard Alyx's rampant Shallan/Renarin shipping. You've waited as she gets more tired, more emotional, and goes deeper into the depths. Prepare yourself for the breakdown and the rest of the amazing climax. (It happens early in 86, by the way...)

    It's the end of Part Four on Splintercast today, plus the next set of interludes, featuring our favorite nicknamed character, Mr. T (Taravangian). I pity the fool who doesn't listen to this episode right now. What are you, Rocky Balboa and think you can fight Mr. T? No, of course not, so you better listen to Alyx's continued insanity right now.

    This time on Splintercast, we get a Shallan flashback, where she plans for her family to escape. Kaladin and Adolin have the best bromance of all time, and Alyx freaks out (but that isn't new). Then we actually see Dalinar again! And Wit appears, and has a conversation with Amaram, and gets one of my favorite lines in the whole book. It's wonderful. Prepare yourself for more Splintercast right now.

    It's time for a super-sized Splintercast. (You should maybe call this one a Splinter+Slivercast or something) And this is it. The moment you've waited for. One of the moments where you know Alyx will lose her entire mind. Yep: it's the duel at the end of part three. What more could you ask for? Really, you should just listen to these right now.