Book Halp!

[Lord Meeker]

I am currently in the process of writing a book, the planning phase to be exact. I am also looking for co-author(s), I figured the shard is the best place to look. I need some help, the poll being one, and the other being the magic system. I am having four people wield the four forces of nature and I don't know how to really create a magic system around gravitation, electromagnetism, the weak interaction, and the strong interaction. So please post your ideas. (Names are welcome as well!)

Below this is the synopsis of the book. 

Balance has been upended. I fear I have been the cause of this. I can feel the change on the winds, in my blood. A darkness is coming and I fear I can not stop it alone. My goodness and just dealings have brought this upon the world. God once lived among men, but now he is gone. No amount of searching has uncovered the slightest clue to where he might be. We might as well be doomed. But if you, hero, are reading this, humanity might have the slightest chance, a glimmer of hope to overcome the eternal death that has been unleashed. Do not lose hope, endure what is to come with patience, for if you don't humanity might as well give up. 

Character Synopsis

Aurell Faine

She was sent as an ambassador from Ettera to the kingdom of Surn to plead for help, aid and Allies from King Spero Montague. Upon her arrival, she finds out that the capital has closed its gates to all. In a moment of desperation she sneaks into the city only to find herself confronted by a cloaked character. When she reaches the palace she sense that the city is the center of everything, and something big might revolve around her finding out the identity of the figure in black. What will she uncover?

 

Prince Ryker Sinclair Montague 3rd

Ryker is third in line for the Montague throne. He is a known to be an excellent  swordsman, and witty. But he harbors a secret that nobody can find out. He is the Sparrow. A religious crime fighting vigilante, who feels it is his duty to keep the city safe and return the truths lost to the people so long ago. What will he do when he meets the Etteran Ambassador?

 

Casteal Vaenlane

Her name means “the enemy”. Brilliant and talented in engineering, science and mathematics she was inducted into the Flanagan Empire’s military School for the gifted. Even there she exceed the expectations and was soon drafted into the military to build designs of mass destruction and domination. Soon war broke out as Emperor Flanagan tested a new weapon on the peoples of a nearby nation of Voryld-En’ryn. She is promoted to a general of a fleet, she designed herself. Can she win the war?

THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP!

-Sahin the Just

Edited March 29, 2018 by Sahin the Just

[Mistspren]

I have one problem- you use the name Montague, from Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. If that was intentional, carry on, but if not, I’d reconsider that name.

I don’t think I would be a good co author for you, because I tend to try to do all the work when working in group projects and the like. It’s a good story seed, and you might want to check out the Writing Excuses podcast for good advice.

Edited March 28, 2018 by Mistspren

[Lord Meeker]

I was thinking about sounds for the last part. I had the option of ogue, egue, and ague. I like ague the best that is why I chose it. I know the Writing excuses might be good but I a going to listen to Brandon teach his College class instead!

[Yezrien]

Names aren't that important at this stage; you can always change them later. Could you tell us a bit more about the story, and who these characters are? I promise a few sentences of explanation will not spoil the whole book. (as long as you don't give away the ending, of course.)

[Lord Meeker]

I will find the document I typed up on each of these characters and put in the edit below.

Edit: @Belzedar They are in the original post.

Edited March 28, 2018 by Sahin the Just

[I Am Witless]

I'd love to help with this! Do you want different authors to write each PoV, so that each character is even more unique?

[Lord Meeker]

That would be preferable. Just I would like to take over the character ooooooof... I am not sure. We will talk about it later. But which would you like?

[Yezrien]

4 hours ago, Sahin the Just said:

I will find the document I typed up on each of these characters and put in the edit below.

Edit: @Belzedar They are in the original post.

Good stuff. I voted for Aurell because I like the mystery plot. And because her situation feels very Brandonish to me.

Casteal is intriguing too. What's going on with her internally?

[Lord Meeker]

@Belzedar Her internal struggle is whether or not this is the right thing to do. She gets to do what she loves, which is creating things, but the things she creates kill people. I think we will release some of the first chapters for you and others to get a feel for the characters.

@I am Witless What character would you like? I will link you some stuff a little bit later.

Edited March 29, 2018 by Sahin the Just

[I Am Witless]

@Sahin the Just, Ryder or Aurell. I don't have a preference.

[Sallin Zeras]

@Sahin the Just Awesome! I was thinking if I could help you do Prince Ryker Sinclair, he sounds interesting, and he’s the kind of character I like.

[MacThorstenson]

If you want help building the magic system, I would be willing.

Here a few ideas that I just had.

The first, is that if the characters are going to have complete control over their forces, then they need to have huge, and I mean HUGE drawbacks to using this. In the spoiler, I outline what you could accomplish with complete control of each force. It is way to OP. 

Spoiler

 

Having complete control over gravity is pretty straight forward, time dilation, windrunning, the usual.

Complete control of the electromagnetic force is completely overpowered. Its the reason we have friction, electricity, and magnets. In addition, it holds electrons to the nucleus of the atom. That allows molecules to form. If you could control this, you could effectively control matter. In addition, if you increased the electromagnetic forces in the cores of atoms so that they were stronger then the strong force, then you could break apart atoms. Effectively causing nuclear fusion. You would have complete control over the elements.

The strong force would be kind of overpowered. you couldn't do nearly as much as you could with control of the electromagnetic, but you would still be able to break atoms, causing nuclear explosions. 

The weak nuclear force, if you control that then you control nuclear fission.

 

An Idea that I had, was maybe there were many different powers or skills that you could use, and they are separated into 4 disciplines.

For example, in EM there could be alchemy (changing elements). Manipulations (im thinking that you could manipulate different objects to change form,) you could also do something like lift does. 

That is just one idea though. 

I think that whatever happenens, there will need to be balancing and drawbacks to using the power.

 

[Lord Meeker]

There are only four people who have the one of the four, being "Keys" holders of the power until God returns. They grant small amounts of power to some people. I will add you to the Pm and you can oversee & develop the magic system.

[Kureshi Ironclaw]

Aurell looks like she would be the strongest POV to build the story around. There is more conflict and stakes inherent in her plotline that you've outlined in your character synopsis. If she fails in her quest something bad will obviously happen to her country, but she is already at a disadvantage by having to sneak into the capital and possibly become a fugitive in that city. A story about her overcoming that disadvantage and searching out the right strings to pull in the city to get her the help she needs could be really fun.

I can't help so much with the magic. I tend to discovery write magic for a big chunk of a book then firmly define all the rules and limitations before the climax based off what I've already used the magic for.

I wish I had more time in my life right now for writing, because trying out something collaborative looks really fun. Unfortunately I hardly get time to even work on my current novel any more, and I'm only getting busier.

I hope all goes well for you.

[Yezrien]

Sadly, scientific principles were conceived to explain the physical universe — not to help fantasy writers. 

If you’re going to use the four fundamental forces, you need to apply an enormous dose of Brandon’s 2nd Law. Controlling those forces is like controlling the four classical elements (which this is basically the modern version of); having a vague notion of “control” over any one of them makes you instantly overpowered.

The fundamental forces are actually worse than the classical elements because they can’t be limited in the same way. You can make earthbending manageable by saying “you can only control earth that’s within 20 feet of you, and only 500 pounds at a time.” What are you going to say to a StrongNuclearForcebender? “You can only create explosions of a magnitude lower than 100,000 tons of TNT?” “And only right next to you?”

 If you really want to go this way, I recommend doing what Brandon did with the Surges: compress each force into a specific, limited superpower. 

If you want your characters to feel more godlike, I recommend you ditch the fundamental forces entirely. If there’s an actual God in this universe, and the magic is part of his power, it should feel very natural to make things more mystical, and less scientific. Build the powers around themes and divine attributes.

[Lord Meeker]

We will be posting one of each character PoV's for everyone to read and comment on.

[Elandera]

Regarding PoV's: I always find when an author has a large character set with important roles in the outcome of the story, it is better to write from multiple perspectives. It gives the reader a bit more information than each character individually, and provides good opportunity for solid foreshadow. (I know by reading the other replies, that may be likely with a co-author project).

Good luck! It sounds like a fascinating premise for a story.

[Lord Meeker]

Okay guys, I need help again. It has to do with the magic system. The villain had the pier to destroy or corrupt anything he touches. To combat that I gave humanity the "forces" (for lack if a better term) these come in the form of Manyhearts, which are placed in your chest, growing armor, giving you one of the forces (some power not all) theses Manyhearts work on the principle of the minds if many but the soul of one. I need a way that allows for recharge of these powers. I don't want the protagonists to be able to access it all the time. 

[Elandera]

6 hours ago, Sahin the Just said:

Okay guys, I need help again. It has to do with the magic system. The villain had the pier to destroy or corrupt anything he touches. To combat that I gave humanity the "forces" (for lack if a better term) these come in the form of Manyhearts, which are placed in your chest, growing armor, giving you one of the forces (some power not all) theses Manyhearts work on the principle of the minds if many but the soul of one. I need a way that allows for recharge of these powers. I don't want the protagonists to be able to access it all the time. 

Are the Manyhearts surgically or magically placed? If magically, maybe it needs to be outside the body in order to recharge (solar maybe?). That doesn't work though if you have to do surgery every time. 

Taking out the Manyheart would remove the abilities from the protagonist, and possibly make it difficult to access in a pinch.

[Lord Meeker]

6 hours ago, Elandera said:

Are the Manyhearts surgically or magically placed? If magically, maybe it needs to be outside the body in order to recharge (solar maybe?). That doesn't work though if you have to do surgery every time. 

Taking out the Manyheart would remove the abilities from the protagonist, and possibly make it difficult to access in a pinch.

Yes it is magical placement. The placement is crucial, it has to be just right to be able access said powers. Solar recharge doesn't make a lot of sense as the day is probably the best time to use said powers. 

[Yezrien]

Are the manyhearts the only way to access the Forces?

And could you give the villain some limitations on his destruction/corruption powers?

[Lord Meeker]

2 hours ago, Belzedar said:

Are the manyhearts the only way to access the Forces?

Yes. 

2 hours ago, Belzedar said:

And could you give the villain some limitations on his destruction/corruption powers?

Yes. The details of the magic system is up to @MacThorstenson but what I have told you is just basics. 

[Mistspren]

How many Manyhearts are there? Just the four?

As a limitation, maybe the minds within the heart are in discord, and without focusing them, no magic can be performed. This would cause serious limitation in ability, as concentration and training would be necessary, but for newbies (like the protagonists, most likely) the power would only be accessible for so long, and only with difficulty. Also, scenes where the protagonist argued with the different minds while in flight would be fun to write/leave room for character growth driven by failure.

[Lord Meeker]

2 hours ago, Mistspren said:

How many Manyhearts are there? Just the four?

As a limitation, maybe the minds within the heart are in discord, and without focusing them, no magic can be performed. This would cause serious limitation in ability, as concentration and training would be necessary, but for newbies (like the protagonists, most likely) the power would only be accessible for so long, and only with difficulty. Also, scenes where the protagonist argued with the different minds while in flight would be fun to write/leave room for character growth driven by failure.

This is a good idea. Thanks! But there are more than 4, as the "keys" can gift power in the form of a new Heart. 

I need a better name than keys 

[I Am Witless]

AHA I FOUND IT. Now I need to read all of this.

So, a couple things.

1.) Do you have a better character bio for Aurell?

2.) Is there a PM for this?

3.) Does she have magic?

4.) Do you still need help with the magic system?

5.) What the heck and I supposed to do right now?

Edited April 30, 2018 by I am Witless
Added questions.