Rules for Surviving a Fantasy World

[Ashspren]

226: (@Inklingspren) Or, the person is trying to kill you. Either way, you should run. It (a) makes a dramatic romance plot, or (b) you’ll survive!

227: Any cure for any sickness exists, it’s just extremely hard to find. 

228: You should probably find that cure. 

229: Did something bad happen to you? Too bad, it’s fate! 

230: Never, ever, ever mess with a prophecy. 

231: If you find yourself in the same location as @Ishar, run.

Edited September 13, 2018 by Ashspren

[Gancho Libre]

232: keep in mind that there is no such thing as a 'coincidence or an 'honest mistake'. If anyone with mediocre intelligence does something, there is an all-consuming purpose.

233: Unless that person gives a good excuse for acting strangely later in the book.

234: Unless they are lying and they really did mess up.

235: unless that's what they want you to think, so they can continue with their all-consuming plan.

236: Also, if there is anyone who knows more than they should, it is because a ) they are dealing with the enemy or b ) they are the real masterminds.

[whattheHoid]

237. Ok I know we talked about if you don't see the body, they aren't dead. When you kill someone, they could be faking, kill them twice. I.e. shoot them in the head multiple times, bludgeon their head till unrecoverable and unrecognizable. You never know when you'll run into 

Spoiler

A Voidbringer, A Herald, a crazy Fused, Radiant, stupid Amamram, dumb dumb Moash/Vyre

Mad wizards, zoombies and zombies. I've been literally stabbed in the back multiple times in video games because of breaking this rule. Don't be me, this is my number 1. 

These are great rules guys, we'll all be surviving in prospective fantasy worlds way longer now. Hoid approves.

[AonEne]

238. If you're in a Sanderson book, ignore rules 223 and 220. Don't take that chance.

Edited September 14, 2018 by AonEne

[+ILuvHats]

Rules SPECIFICALLY Meant For the Cosmere

239.  Arranged marriages end in a happy relationship an uncanny amount of the time.  If your parents tell you to marry somebody, you're gonna fall in love with them.  

240.  Greet all beggars by telling them "You can't hide from me, Cephandrius" and watching for expressions of shock.  Even if you live in the city and have to spend 4 hours day doing this, it'll be worth your time on the off chance you actually find him.  Then learn everything he knows and live a happy and safe life.  Also note that using his older name rather than saying Hoid is more likely to keep him interested as he'll assume you're from Yolen.

241.  Worldhop to another planet as soon as possible.  If you do, you will become an easter egg, and become too important to kill off.  Also, the likelihood of Rule 240 succeeding becomes much more likely

242.  Know that the creator of your universe isn't fond of tropes, and assume the opposite of what you'd expect in some generic fantasy.  Especially if you're on Nalthis.  Seriously.  

[Gancho Libre]

243: If a side character lets on that something in the world might be different than the way people view it, don't ignore their advice. THEY ARE ALWAYS RIGHT.

[whattheHoid]

244. If anyone mentions the word Adonalsium; don't ignore that! Find out all you can! Chances are you'll bump into some Worldhopping Organizations and worldhop yourself.

245. If someone scraggly is hanging around your group, i.e. Nazh checking out Bridge Four and their tattoos, don't ignore them or shoo them away! They are probably Worldhopper checking you out, ergo you guys are probably important enough to be on their radar.

246. More specific to Roshar, if you come across a drink beggar, they are most likely a Herald, watch out yo.

[Gancho Libre]

247: If you think you know everything about any topic, and you share that information with a college, it is wise to immediately forget everything you know about that topic and approach it from a totally different and previously unseen angle.

248: In the event that you think you know everything about any topic, it is safe to assume that the enemy's plan uses that information (see above about unseen angles) to complete their dastardly evil ruinating plan.

[Kidpen]

249. If you happen to be either the male lead or female lead in a story, expect to end up with the lead of the opposite gender. This doesn't apply to every book, but it does to many.

[the winter system]

What can you do? 

[Ink]

9 minutes ago, winter devotion said:

What can you do? 

Very little, if you want to live.

250: If you are the main character, chances are, you are extremely gifted and/or talented. However, your enemy will have similar skill levels. Learn to master one aspect *cough expeliarmus cough*

[whattheHoid]

251. Cosmere rule, try stumbling into your prospective Cognitive Realm, find that perpendicularity. Look for places where legends of mischief gods suddenly appear. Get there and interact with the ideas, beings, spren, and Worldhoppers. This would be the fastest way to learn about the Cosmere hands on I think.

252. Assuming you have traveled far throughout the cosmere on other planets and such, get that Investiture! You got cracks in your Spiritweb, get Invested! Get that Aviar! Get that vial of Metal/s! Get that Taldain Sand! And get that special Spren to bond you!! You'll be a real hit with not only secret organizations, but that special someone you're trying to impress! Bonus points if you make it to Taldain and back; Bavadin's a real piece of work.

 

[Gancho Libre]

 

253: Don't be too sad if someone close to you gets captured/killed/absorbed into the entity on the opposite side of the conflict, because as it happens they most likely planned for that to happen and their death will help you bring down/kill/capture said entity.

[Inky]

254: If you've started glowing after being beaten up by the Edgy Rival from rule 215, congrats, you've unlocked a magic system! Abuse the absolute crap out of this immediately in every way 

[whattheHoid]

256. I know it's hard, but if you are betrayed by the hero, chances are you are 1. On the wrong side or 2. The hero has no choice as the fate of the world/universe is at stake. Best hope for you is to move on and hey, at least you played a part in literal life changing events. And who knows, you could write a bestselling novel about it! Eh? Movie franchises! Video games! Make that money, yo! Turn that betrayal into capital gains!

[Kidpen]

257. If you receive a strange dream, it is likely foreshadowing a prophecy of some kind. Don't take it too literally, and always be on the lookout for something it could be referring to.

[whattheHoid]

257.a. Sidenote, your prophetic/foreshadowing dream could be sent by an enemy force/ Dark Lord to trick you or to find where you're at. Get some magical protection circle, some metal or anything that could help you occlude the enemy forces. If these are your powers manifesting, get trained asap and congrats! If you're recieving these dreams chances are you are the hero, someone close to the hero, or someone who will be important to the hero.

[Gancho Libre]

17 hours ago, whattheHoid said:

257.a. Sidenote, your prophetic/foreshadowing dream could be sent by an enemy force/ Dark Lord to trick you or to find where you're at. Get some magical protection circle, some metal or anything that could help you occlude the enemy forces. If these are your powers manifesting, get trained asap and congrats! If you're recieving these dreams chances are you are the hero, someone close to the hero, or someone who will be important to the hero.

257.b. OR you are gonna be the new host for a Dark Lord parasitic entrance into your mind. The thing is, you never know between these two until the climax. So, uh, good luck.

257.c. Regardless, at the first opportunity TELL ANY NEARBY FIGURES OF IMPORTANCE ABOUT THESE DREAMS. There is absolutely NO reasoning that should prevent this, because if you keep this secret, then the case will most certainly be 257.b.

257.d. However, never tell any strangers about these dreams if they ask you about it, cuz that's just dumb.

[whattheHoid]

257.e. If your prophetic dreams are actually real events happening in the dream world, don't be stupid if you die there, you die in real life. Tread with caution and keep your imaginations under control! (I'm looking at you silly Aes Sedan, who think you know everything!) 

I think if you couldn't guess the major theme for any of my rules in any world, fantasy or not is: Don't be stupid! Think!

Edited September 18, 2018 by whattheHoid

[Gancho Libre]

257.f. Unless the only way to be freed from the dreams is to die in them. I know it's weird, but I've seen it happen.

[whattheHoid]

257.g. Do the aforementioned, unless your death in someway allows a dark force loose.

258. If you are the hero or close to the hero, train yourself in some type of in world equivalent of martial arts, swordplay, archery. Don't be a damsel in distress! (I'm looking at you Peach Toadstool!) This applies if you aren't either hero or whatnot. If some people are commenting about changes on the wind or something bad is coming and it's more than one person and there is a known prophecy, get fit and trained for your in world apocalypse. Don't be caught with your pants down!

Sidenote, much apologies if this rule has been mentioned, I read through so many, that I've forgotten some of them!

[Gancho Libre]

259: if you are a side character, never be more powerful than the main character if there is any type of grudge between you, because if the main character does get taken over (see 257.b.) then all those bad feelings will get ya killed.

260: if you are more powerful than the main character, it is best to develop a hefty weakness. Such as stupidity... or... a missing limb.

[Glaedr Firnen]

261: In the event that (one of) the main characters is killed, run. If the villain was powerful enough to kill them, you are screwed.

 

[Gancho Libre]

262: If your enemy has one weakness, don't despair!

263: actually, you probably want to despair, because the more you do the more likely it is that you won't have to. Just saying.

[whattheHoid]

226. Building off 225, be careful having a crush if you're in a horror themed fantasy world. Odds are the ghost, ghouls, or demons hate when you'll express your love physically and you'll be one of the first to die. Don't get to any base with you crush yet! Wait till you've defeated the evil, make em monologue or summing. Trust me they won't be able to resist! Most villains are super proud of their plans and a accomplishments.