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[OB] Stormlight the Musical


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*EDIT* @Personification just alerted me, there's a HUGE thread on this already with amazing songs, you can find it here:

Scene 1: A man lays prostrate on a circular stone platform, lit by a single spotlight. Behind this solitary figure a sheet with striated bands of different shades of grey roils tempestuously. Another figure, hidden in the darkness stage left, with hair spangled with glowing rubies and wearing a Vorin Havah approaches the prostrate figure while singing:

 

Song 1: Memory
(sung to the tune of Memory from Cats)

Good Knight,
Laid out on the Pavement,
Has this man lost his memory?
He is weeping alone
In the dim light, the petaled shame collects at his feet
And his Spren begins to moan.

Every dead-voice seems to scream
An Abominable witness,
The Thrill it claims him, the dead-voices shame him,
And he begs for forgiveness.

Memory,
All alone without Stormlight
He can see her from old days
She was beautiful then
He remembers, he killed her and watched Rathalis burn
Now her memory lives again

 

Now for the game part, pick one of your favorite scenes from SLA, pick a song from a Musical, write alternate lyrics and link to a video of the song being sung so that Sharders can sing your altered lyrics to the tune of a musical number.

Mwhahahah, let the fun begin.

 

Edited by hoiditthroughthegrapevine
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Now I'm imagining characters in Stormlight projected onto Les Miserables...

Kaladin would of course be Jean Valjean, as a former convict, singing Who Am I? as he decides whether he can reveal himself as Radiant...

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25 minutes ago, Rainier said:

Now I'm imagining characters in Stormlight projected onto Les Miserables...

Kaladin would of course be Jean Valjean, as a former convict, singing Who Am I? as he decides whether he can reveal himself as Radiant...

Rad, and of Course Lift would be Gavroche and would sing "Look Down, I Stole your Lunch".

Kaladin is totally Jean Valjean, but hard to believe, maybe even more brooding.

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Here's another one for your humble enjoyment.

 

 

Szeth's New Knife
(Sung to the tune of Mack the Knife from The Three Penny Opera)

Oh the Sword has an aluminum sheath, dear
Just to keep it, from leakin' Night
That's a bald shin Szeth Son-Naturo,
Yeah its you know, the Assassin in White.

When the sword fights without his sheath, dear
Midnight billows start to spread,
lots of Stormlight needs shin Szeth, dear
So he doesn't wind up dead

In the Purelake, some poor crim'nal
Lies in the water losing life
Szeth the detective talks to sword Nimi
"Why did that Reshi have a knife?"

In a prison stinking awfully,
Only one guard is found dead
"Shouldn't you be Destroyin' Evil?"
His sword Nimi, says in his head.

Then shin Szeth finds the beefy Noble,
who's been skimmin' off the cash.
And then Nightblood destroys that evil,
Did our Shin do something Rash?


Here come Listeners, and Ner-agoul,
that's Yelignar, and Odium
Oh the chances look mighty slim, dear
Glad sword Nimi's back in town

Edited by hoiditthroughthegrapevine
HOLY CRAP, JUST MADE THIS AWESOME!!! FOR REALSIES!!!!
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4 hours ago, bdoble97 said:

Dude that was SO good. I ask my wife to sing Memory from cats alot bc I like the song its a  wicked beautiful song. You my firend are talented chamging the words. Wish I could sing so I could try to sing thatvsong hahahaha great work

Ok, this is for real awesome, listen to the link of the song for Mack the Knife in a separate window, and while the song is playing, sing the lyrics for Szeth's New Knife. it's freaking amazing!

Edited by hoiditthroughthegrapevine
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@hoiditthroughthegrapevine. These are seriously good. I am (almost) speechless! 

I know its Disney, but I could kinda see Shallan doing a Little Mermaid (A Part of that world) or Mulan (Reflections).

You could probably do a real bitterweet "Thank-you for the Music"  play on Evi - ("I'm nothing special, in fact, I'm a bit of a bore" sounds like something she'd think about herself - and she probably thought she was lucky despite all evidence to the contrary)

And you could totally have a scene of "So Long, Farewell" (The Sound of Music) where all the Bridgecrews say goodbye to Sadeas after Dalinar frees them ;)

I'd love to help but I am not sure I'd even know how to begin!

 

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I thought of Les Miserables too, and I figured Nale should be Javert. So I rewrote the "Stars" song a bit:

STORMS performed by Nalan'Elin, Herald of Justice

There, out on Roshar

A radiant running

Without Honor

Cause Honor is dead

Ishar be my witness

I never shall yield

Till I've slaughtered them all

Till I've slaughtered them all

 

They know their way, with the surges

Mine is the way of the law

Those who follow the path of the Skybreakers, shall have their reward

And if they fail, as the old Radiants failed

The Blades

The spren!

 

Storms

In your multitudes

Scarce to be counted

Fueling our magic

With stormin light

I am the sentinel

With a cool Blade

Keeping watch on Roshar

Keeping watch on Roshar

Edited by Toaster Retribution
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@Toaster Retribution Well played, well played. I'm out of upvotes at the moment, but as soon I have them you'll get one for sure! Nale as Javert is brilliant!

41 minutes ago, Toaster Retribution said:

I am the sentinel

With a cool Blade

Love it!

 

Here's a link to a video of the Song Stars (so the Sharders can sing Storms while watching Stars):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urxk4mveLCw

 

If you have a preferred version of this song, put the link in your post and I will get rid of this one.

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3 hours ago, PhineasGage said:

I know its Disney, but I could kinda see Shallan doing a Little Mermaid (A Part of that world) or Mulan (Reflections).

I think OB Shallan would be singing "A Part of Our World", she Radiant and Veil would be singing it to Adolin on a boat in the Sea of glass beads that is being spun by glorysrpen on the aft and the prow, while Anticipation spren circle them, doing choreographed routines with their grody long tongues. It's a very moving scene, really.

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SETTING: The glass wall backed Council chamber in Urithiru, Dalinar, with the sleeves of his Kholin blue military shirt rolled up is pacing with a lavis polyp sticking jauntily out of his mouth, while Navani, sitting in a rocking chair, is working on a fabrial in her lap. The assembled heads of state of Roshar are looking to Dalinar as he begins to explain all about....

SONG: Urithiru
(Sung to the Tune of Oklahoma, from the musical Oklahoma):

We couldn't pick a better place to wage these fights!
It ain't too easy to use an Oathgate
I've been livin' here with my Radiant Knights,
Soon we'll be fightin' the shard of Hate

The Shard of hate
That don't sound great

Gonna grow some lavis, tallew and chicken parts,
Pasture for the great shells
So we can harvest gem hearts
Flowers on the prarie where the wind spren zoom
Plen'y o' air and plen'y o' room
Plen'y o room to swing your shard
Plen'y o heart cuz we try real hard
 

Urithiru where the storms come sweeping down the plain
Where the lavis wheat could sure smell sweet
If we could find that sibling to train
Urithiru ev'ry night my gem heart and I
Sit alone for reals and watch sky eels
Making lazy circles in the sky.

We know we'll defend the land
And the tower we belong to is grand
And when we say
Kalak! A-YIP-I-O-EE-AY
We're only sayin' "You're doin' fine Urithiru,
Urithiru U R"

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Here are all of my Stormlight parodies (all of these can be found in the Cosmere! The Musical thread, and some of them are found later in this thread. I update this post every time I have a new parody.):

My Awesomeness (to the tune of Sound of Silence):

Spoiler

 

Hello Darkness, my old foe
I've come to say let the Stump go
Because a Dysian’s many hordelings
Just killed your entire following
And the stormlight that supplants my hunger pangs
Still remains
Because of my Awesomeness

Quite restlessly I walked alone
Narrow streets of crem and stone
'Neath the shadow of an alleyway
I turned and hoped the thief would get away
When her eyes burned, stabbed by your magical shard
Watching was hard
Should have used my Awesomeness

And in the Everstorm I saw
Ten thousand parshmen, maybe more
Parshmen talking without speaking
Parshmen hearing without listening
Parshmen humming songs that humans never share
And I was scared
But I had my Awesomeness

Foolish Nale, you don’t know
Voidbinding like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you
But my words, like silent raindrops fell
You just feared my Awesomeness

And the parshmen in the storm
Took an evil godly form
And the Alethi sent out warning
That the Everstorm was forming
And like fog lifted you saw that the KR were a solution not a bug
So we just hugged
Storms I love my Awesomeness

Truthless (to the tune of Blackbird by the Beatles)

Spoiler

Truthless breathing in the stormlight
Take this honorblade and learn to fly
For your crime
You were sentenced to become the assassin in white.

Truthless breathing in the stormlight
Watch these burning eyes you are not free
For your crimes
You were sentenced to plunge Roshar into anarchy

Truthless fly truthless fly
using stormlight lash yourself up high

Truthless fly truthless fly
using stormlight lash yourself up high


Truthless breathing in the stormlight
Take this honorblade and learn to fly
For your crime
You were sentenced to become the assassin in white.

You were sentenced to become the assassin in white.

You were sentenced to become the assassin in white.

The Bridgeman (to the tune of "The Boxer" by Simon and Garfunkel)

Spoiler

I am just a darkeyes
Though my story's seldom told
I have squandered my resistance
For a pocket full of mumbles, such are promises
I wear the vest
Of a man whose name I’ll never hear
He died just like the rest

When I left my home and my family
I was no more than a boy
In a company of spearmen
Who died protecting a lighteyes who’d
Never cared,
I was low, sent into the poorest quarters
Where the bridge carriers go
living through horrors nobody
Should have to know

Li-ight eyes, li-ght eyes eyes li-ight
eyes light eyes, li-ight eyes li-ight eyes li-ight eyes

Spending all my bridgeman's wages
I bought knobweed sap and gauze
Now I’ve drained my coffers
Just a diamond chip of stormlight
Oh what do I do
I do declare
I walked up to the honor chasm
But I found some comfort there, le le le le le le le

Li-ight eyes, li-ght eyes eyes li-ight
eyes light eyes, li-ight eyes li-ight eyes li-ight eyes

Now I’m almost out of sap and gauze
And wishing I was gone
Going home
Where the Parshendi arrows
Aren't bleeding me
Leading me
Going home

On the plateau stands a spearman
And a bridgeman by his trade
And he carries the reminders
Of everyone that he’d let down
Or he’d failed till he cried out
In his anger and his shame
"I am leaving, I am leaving"
But the bridgeman still remains, mmm mmm

Li-ight eyes, li-ght eyes eyes li-ight
eyes light eyes, li-ight eyes li-ight eyes li-ight eyes
Li-ight eyes, li-ght eyes eyes li-ight
eyes light eyes, li-ight eyes li-ight eyes li-ight eyes
Li-ight eyes, li-ght eyes eyes li-ight
eyes light eyes, li-ight eyes li-ight eyes li-ight eyes
Li-ight eyes, li-ght eyes eyes li-ight
eyes light eyes, li-ight eyes li-ight eyes li-ight eyes
Li-ight eyes, li-ght eyes eyes li-ight
eyes light eyes, li-ight eyes li-ight eyes li-ight eyes
Li-ight eyes, li-ght eyes eyes li-ight
eyes light eyes, li-ight eyes li-ight eyes li-ight eyes
Li-ight eyes, li-ght eyes eyes li-ight
eyes light eyes, li-ight eyes li-ight eyes li-ight eyes
Li-ight eyes, li-ght eyes eyes li-ight
eyes light eyes, li-ight eyes li-ight eyes li-ight eyes

"Empty Vests and Empty Sandals" (to the tune of "Empty Chairs and Empty Tables")

Spoiler

 

There's a grief that can't be spoken,
There's a pain goes on and on.
Empty vests and empty sandals,
Now my men are dead and gone.…

There's a grief that can't be spoken,
There's a pain goes on and on.
Empty vests and empty sandals,
Now my men are dead and gone.

Here they ate out of Rock’s stew pot,
Here we sat around the flame,
Here they had hope for freedom and freedom never came.

From the practice in the chasms,
They could see themselves reborn,
And the sounds of battle ringing,
And I can hear them now
The very words that they have sung
Became their last communion
On this lonely bridge crew, at dawn.

Oh my men, my men forgive me
That I live and you are gone
There's a grief that can't be spoken,
And there's a pain goes on and on

Phantom faces at the doorway,
Phantom voices in the storm,
Empty vests and empty sandals which my men will wear no more.
Oh my men, my men don't ask me
What your sacrifice was for
Empty vests and empty sandals
For Dunny will sing no more.

Carry On My Wayward Son sung as a duet between Odium and Dalinar with literally 0 changes

Spoiler
Carry On My Wayward Son 
Red=Odium
Blue=Dalinar
 
Carry on my wayward son
For there'll be peace when you are done
Lay your weary head to rest
Don't you cry no more
 
Once I rose above the noise and confusion
Just to get a glimpse beyond the illusion
I was soaring ever higher, but I flew too high
Though my eyes could see I still was a blind man
Though my mind could think I still was a mad man
I hear the voices when I'm dreamin', I can hear them say
 
Carry on my wayward son
For there'll be peace when you are done
Lay your weary head to rest
Don't you cry no more
 
Masquerading as a man with a reason
My charade is the event of the season
And if I claim to be a wise man, it surely means that I don't know
On a stormy sea of moving emotion
Tossed about I'm like a ship on the ocean
I set a course for winds of fortune, but I hear the voices say
 
Carry on my wayward son
For there'll be peace when you are done
Lay your weary head to rest
Don't you cry no more
 
Carry on, you will always remember
Carry on, nothing equals the splendor
Now your life's no longer empty
Surely heaven waits for you
 
Carry on my wayward son
For there'll be peace when you are done
Lay your weary head to rest
Don't you cry no more

"Bridge Down"
(performed by Kaladin, Gaz, and The Bridgemen)

Spoiler

Bridge up, bridge down
For the storming lighteyes
Bridge up, bridge down,
You're here until you die

 

Now your lordship of bridge four

Your got strung up
But you survived the storm
You know what that means.

Yes, it means I'm right.

No!
It’s now my job to make your life a misery
To make sure you’re not imitated once you die
You’ve made yourself a dangerous man

I tried to save my men.
Parshendi arrows were bringing death
My crew was dying.

You will die with them
Unless you learn to obey the lighteyes.

I know the meaning of those 19 years
oppressed by lighteyes

Five years you were drafted
you’re here because you tried to run
Yes, Lordling of Bridge 4.

My name is Kaladin

And I’m Bridge Sargent
Do not forget your place!
Do not forget me,
Lordling of Bridge 4.


Bridge up, bridge down
You'll always be a slave
Bridge up, bridge down
You're standing in your grave.

I know we already have a parody of "Stars" but:  "Highspren" (To the tune of "Stars")

Spoiler

There, out in the darkness
A fugitive running
Forging a bond
Edgedancer without grace
Spren be my witness
I never shall yield
Till we come face to face
Till we come face to face

She knows her way in the dark
Mine is the way of the words
Those who follow the path of the highspren
Shall have their reward
And if they fall
As Radiants fell
The storms
The sword!

Highspren
In your multitudes
Scarce to be counted
Filling the darkness
With order and light
You are the sentinels
Silent and sure
Keeping watch in the night
Keeping watch in the night

You know your place in the sky
You hold your course and your aim
And each in your season
Returns and returns
And is always the same
And if you fall as Radiants fell
You fall as blades!

And so it must be, and so it is written
In our Laws and our Holy Rites
That those who falter and those who fall
Must pay the price!

Ishar let me find her
That I may see her
Bond Safely dead
I will never rest
Till then
This I swear
This I swear by Highspren!

The Ashspren National Anthem (another one with zero changes):

Spoiler

(to the tune of "Dust in the Wind")

I close my eyes, only for a moment
And the moment's gone
All my dreams pass before my eyes, a curiosity
Dust in the wind
I close my eyes, only for a moment
And the moment's gone
All my dreams pass before my eyes, a curiosity
Dust in the wind
All they are is dust in the wind
Same old song, just a drop of water
In an endless sea
All we do crumbles to the ground
Though we refuse to see
Dust in the wind
All we are is dust in the wind
Oh, ho, ho
Now, don't hang on, nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky
It slips away, and all your money won't another minute buy
Dust in the wind
All we are is dust in the wind [x2]
Dust in the wind
Everything is dust in the wind [x2]
The wind

"You'll Be Back" (Sung by Odium, to the tune of the song with the same title from Hamilton)

Spoiler

You say
The feel of my Thrill is a feel that you're throwing away
You cry
For Evi who you killed thoughtlessly when you fell for a lie
Why so sad?
Remember your feel of enragement, you made the Rift pay
Now you're feeling so mad
Remember, despite our estrangement, your my man
You'll be back, soon you'll see
You'll remember you belong to me
You'll be back, time will tell
You'll have the Thrill that always served you well
Highstorms rise, radiants fall
And for you that second one is my fault
And when push comes to shove
You will lead my fully armed battalions feeling the Thrill that you love!


Da li nar Kho lin dat da da da Da lin ar
Da da Dal in ar Kho lin!
Da li nar Kho lin dat da da da Da lin ar
Da da Dal in ar …


You say the Thrill is draining and you can't go on
There'll be no one complaining when we are one...
And yes, I’ll take a champion
'Cause you're my newest champion
My sweet, bloodthirsty champion
My loyal, roiled champion
Forever and ever and ever and ever and ever…

You'll be back like before
You will fight my fights and win my war
For your love, for your rage
You’ll feel the thrill till your dying days
When it’s gone, you go mad
So don't throw away this thing we had
'Cause when push comes to shove
You will kill your friends and family to refind the thrill you love


Da li nar Kho lin dat da da da Da lin ar
Da da Dal in ar Kho lin!

Da li nar Kho lin dat da da da Da lin ar
Da da Dal —
Everybody!

Da li nar Kho lin dat da da da Da lin ar
Da da Dal in ar Kho lin!
Da li nar Kho lin dat da da da Da lin ar
Da da Dal in ar!

"City in the Clouds" (To the tune of "Castle on a Cloud" from Les Mis)

Spoiler

There is a city in the clouds
I like to sit up there and weep
And the stone floors are not holy
Not in my city in the clouds…

There is a city in the clouds
I like to sit up there and weep
And the stone floors are not holy
Not in my city in the clouds

I have to kill people wearing white
Hear their screams when I close my eyes
They speak though not in words as such
they say “Oh Szeth, we hate you very much”
I know a place which once was lost
I know a place where no one dies
Dying at all is not allowed
Not in my city in the clouds

Szeth's Suicide (to the Tune of Javert's Suicide from Les Miserables)

Spoiler

Who is this man?
What sort of voidspren is he
To be binding surges
When Truthless they called me?
Is this hour my last
Does this news seal my fate?
Can I even last
Against his living shardblade?
All it will take
Is a flick of his spear.
I am Truthless
Yet there’s a Surgebinder here!

Damned for my crimes as the tool of a thief!
Damned for my loyalty to the Shin race
I walked on stone, but the stone is not walked.
I'll spit their punishment back in their face
They sentenced me because they don’t care
And now I see my oaths were just air!

And my thoughts fly apart
Can this man be believed?
Was my slaughter unbidden?
Was I really deceived?

And must I now begin to doubt,
Who never doubted all these years?
My heart is stone and still it trembles
The world I have known is lost in shadow.
Is he from Ashyn or from Braize?
And does he know
That while he proved me right today
This man has killed me even so?

I am reaching, but I fall
And the storms are black and cold
As I stare into the void
Of a world that cannot hold
I'll escape now from that world
From the world that called me wrong.
There is nowhere I can turn
There is no way to go on!

 

"Fire and Rain" (as sung by Dalinar) To the tune of the song with the same title by James Taylor

Spoiler

"Fire and Rain" (as sung by Dalinar) To the tune of the song with the same title by James Taylor

Just yesterday morning, they let me know that you were gone.
Evi, the plans we made put an end to you.
I walked out this morning and I thought up this song,
I just can't remember who to sing it to.

 

I've seen fire and I've seen rain.
I've seen battle craze that I thought would never end.
I've seen lonely times when I had no one to rend,
But I always thought that I'd see you again.

 

Won't you look down upon me, Honor,
You've got to help me make a stand.
You've just got to see me through another day.
My body's aching and my time is at hand
And I won't make it any other way.

 

Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain.
I've seen battle craze that I thought would never end.
I've seen lonely times when I had no one to rend,
But I always thought that I'd see you again.

 

Been walking my mind to an easy time, my back turned towards the sun.
Lord knows when the stormwind blows it'll turn your head around.
Well, there's hours of time on this spanreed of mine to talk about things to come.
Sweet dreams and war machines in pieces on the ground.

 

Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain.
I've seen battle craze that I thought would never end.
I've seen lonely times when I had no one to rend,
But I always thought that I'd see you baby, one more time again, now.

Thought I'd see you one more time again.
There's just a few things coming my way this time around, now.
Thought I'd see you, thought I'd see you, fire and rain, now.

"Defying Gravity" (as sung by Moash and Kaladin at the climax of WoR to the tune of the song with the same name from Wicked)

Spoiler

[Moash, spoken]

Kaladin, why couldn't you stay away for once

Instead of flying off the handle!

I hope you're happy

(sung)

I hope you're happy now

I hope you're happy how

You've hurt your friend forever

I hope you think you're clever

 

[Kaladin, spoken]

I hope you're happy

(sung)

I hope you're happy too

I hope you're proud how you

Would kill one of your best friends, to feed your petty revenge

 

[Moash & Kaladin]

So though I can't imagine how

I hope you're happy right now

 

[Moash, spoken]

Kaladin, listen to me. Just step aside now!

(sung)

we can still just kill Elhokar

What we've worked and waited for

You’ll still have all you ever wanted

 

[Kaladin, spoken]

I know

(sung)

But I don't want it, I can't want it anymore

Something has changed within me

Something is not the same

I'm through with playing by the rules

Of someone elses game

Too late for second-guessing

Too late to go back to sleep

It's time to trust my instincts

Close my eyes and leap!

 

It's time to try

Defying gravity

I think I'll try

Defying gravity

I'm defying gravity

And you can't pull me down

 

[Moash]

Can't I make you understand

You're having delusions of grandeur?

 

[Kaladin]

I'm through breaking promises

'Cuz someone tell me so

Some things I want to change

But still I’ll try to let it go!

Too long I've been afraid of

Losing you, who now I've lost

Well, if that's you

you come at much too high a cost!

 

I'd sooner buy

Defying gravity

Kiss me goodbye

I'm defying gravity

And you can't pull me down

Moash, let him be. Think of what we could do—together!

 

Unlimited

Together we're unlimited

Together we'll be the greatest team

There's ever been—Moash!

Dreams the way we planned 'em

 

[Moash]

If we work in tandem

 

[Moash & Kaladin]

There's no fight we cannot win

Just you and I, defying gravity

With you and I defying gravity

 

[Kaladin]

They'll never bring us down!

 

Well, are you stopping?

[Moash]

I hope you're happy

I hope your happy now that your choosing this -

 

[Kaladin]

You too—

I hope it brings you bliss

 

[Moash & Kaladin]

I really hope you get it

And you don't live to regret it

I hope you're happy in the end

I hope you're happy my friend

 

Flying so high! (Defying gravity)

Kiss me goodbye! (Defying gravity)

 

[Kaladin]

So if you care to find me

I’ll be at Kholin’s side!

As someone told me lately:

"Honor means helping those you despise!"

 

And if I'm flying solo

At least I'm flying free

To those who ground me

Take a message back from me

 

Tell them how I'm defying gravity!

I'm flying high

Defying Gravity!

And soon I'll match them in renown

And nobody in Alethkar

No princes that there are or were

Is ever gonna bring me down!

 

"Thrill's in the Battle" as sung by Dalinar to the tune of "Cat's in the Cradle" by Harry Chapin

Spoiler

My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there was folks to kill, and hell to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talking 'fore I knew it, and as he grew
He'd say, I'm gonna be like you, dad
You know I'm gonna be like you

And the Thrill’s in the battle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
When you coming home, dad?
I don't know when
But we'll get together then
You know we'll have a good time then

My son turned ten while we were at war
He said, thanks for the sword, dad, come on let's spar
Can you teach me to fight, I said, not yet for
I got a lot to do, he said, lead the charge
And he walked away, but his smile never dimmed
Said, I'm gonna be like him, yeah
You know I'm gonna be like him

And the Thrill’s in the battle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
When you coming home, dad?
I don't know when
But we'll get together then
You know we'll have a good time then

Well, he came from Kholinar just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say
Son, I'm proud of you
Can you sit for a while?
He shook his head, and he said with a smile
What I'd really like, dad, is to let people duel me
See you later
Can I fight them please?

And the Thrill’s in the battle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
When you coming home, son?
I don't know when
But we'll get together then
You know we'll have a good time then

I just want to retire, have my son take me place
He’d be king, Elhokar got stabbed in the face
I said, I'd like to abdicate if you don't mind
He said, I'd love to, dad, and I’m the next in line
But see, I killed Sadeas, and I’m a newlywed too
But it's sure nice talking to you, dad
It's been sure nice talking to you
And as I hung up my cloak, it occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me
My boy was just like me

And the Thrill’s in the battle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
When you coming home, son?
I don't know when
But we'll get together then
You know we'll have a good time then

"Highstorm" (As sung by Kaladin to the tune of "Hurricane" from Hamilton):

Spoiler

[Kaladin:]
In the riddens of a highstorm
There is quiet
For just a moment
A pale grey sky

When I was strung up in a highstorm
For letting the army down
I didn't drown
I couldn't seem to die

I fought my way out
Fought through all of the wind and sleet
I fought my way out
I looked up and bridge four had its eyes on me

They never let me down
They kept training
They collected sap without me
Raised enough for me to buy Rock a razor
blade and a mirror they found…

I fought my way out of Damnation
I fought my way to manumission
I was louder than the voidbringers songs
I fought for honor and I forged a Nahel bond
I fought for Highprince Kholin and defended him well
And in the face of ignorance and resistance
I fought my bridge crew’s spirits into existence
And when my prayers to God were met with indifference
I picked up a spear, I fought for my deliverance

In the riddens of a highstorm
There is quiet
For just a moment
A pale grey sky

I was young when my brother died
He was holding me
He got stabbed and he was holding me
I couldn't seem to die

[Moash:]
Wait for it, wait for it, wait for it…

[Kaladin:]
I'll fight my way out…

[Moash and Ensemble:]
Wait for it, wait for it, wait for it…

[Kaladin:]
Fight enemies down, far as I can see…

[Moash and Ensemble:]
Wait for it, wait for it, wait for it, wait… (History has its eyes on you)

[Kaladin:]
I'll fight my way out…

Part 2 is here

Edited by Personification
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7 hours ago, Personification said:

My Awesomeness (to the tune of Sound of Silence):

So good, so good!

7 hours ago, Personification said:

The Bridgeman (to the tune of "The Boxer" by Simon and Garfunkel)

Man, makes me feel even worse for Kaladin!

7 hours ago, Personification said:

Carry On My Wayward Son sung as a duet between Odium and Dalinar with literally 0 changes

Brilliant!

Thanks for sharing the link, had no idea that thread existed, truly awesome! I updated the OP with the link.

Your songs are really, really good, that's an upvote well spent. Can't wait to check out that other thread in more depth (been working on Christmas Cards all day).

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I'll take a stab at one. This is a parody of a song by Denis Leary, entitled after a body part. I've removed the worst of the vulgar language from it, but it has some colourful terms so if you find those offensive, don't open the spoiler.

Spoiler

Folks, I'd like to sing a song about the Rosharan Dream
About me, about you
About the way our Rosharan gemhearts beat way down in the bottom of our chests
About that special feeling we get in the cockles of our gemhearts
Maybe below the cockles
Maybe in the sub cockle area
Maybe in the liver, maybe in the kidneys
Maybe even in the carapace, we don't know

I'm just a regular shard, with a regular intent
I'm your average jovial, sociopath god
I like gluttony and hedonism and starting new wars
I got an average damnation, on the planet next door
My unmade and my intent, my void and my storm
My thoughts in your head, and your last high kings corpse.

But sometimes that just ain't enough to keep a shard like me interested
(Oh no, no way, uh uh)
No I gotta go out and have fun at some other shards expense
(Whoa, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
I steal their passion and leave them the blame
For people on shardworlds going insane

I'm a cremhole (he's a cremhole, what a cremhole)
I'm a cremhole (he's a cremhole, such a cremhole)

I use other shards spren and I corrupt their intent
I walk around with a smile, while encouraging revenge

I'm a cremhole (he's a cremhole, what a cremhole)
I'm a cremhole (he's the cosmere's biggest cremhole)

Sometimes I corrupt really good people
Because really good people only belong in the prequel

I'm a cremhole (he's a cremhole, what a cremhole)
I'm a cremhole (he's a real storming cremhole)

Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong...
Nah

I'm a cremhole (he's a cremhole, what a cremhole)
I'm a cremhole (he's the cosmere's biggest cremhole)

You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna get myself a skybreaker herald
Dark skinned, with a white mark
And all black clothing
And two shardblades to use at the same time, yeah!
And I'm gonna send that guy to hunt you all down
Killing people for minor crimes as he goes
Making barely rational philosophical justifications
In the old fashioned good versus evil and nothing in between fashion
And after he’s finished killing all you radiants
I'm gonna wipe my mouth with corpse of your bondsmith
And then I'm gonna toss the souls right across to Braize
And there ain't a sharddamn thing anybody can do about it
You know why, because we've got the dawnshards, that's why
Two words, invested storming weapons, OK?
Alethkar, Jah Keved, Thaylenah, they can have all the honor they want
They can have a big honor cakewalk
Right through the middle of Urithiru
And it won't make a lick of difference
Because we've got the dawnshards, OK?
Meridas Amaram’s not dead, he's a cognitive shadow
And as soon as we find a cure for being chopped into pieces
We're gonna bring Amaram back across and he's gonna be pretty pissed off
You know why
Have you ever cut your finger?
Well multiply that by 15 million times
That's how pissed off the Amaram's gonna be!
I'm gonna get Amaram, and Moash
And Sadeas, and Ialai, and a case of purple
And march down to Kholinar and

(Hey! You know, you really are a cremhole!)
Why don't you just shut up and sing the song, pal?
I'm a cremhole (he's a cremhole, what a cremhole)
I'm a cremhole (he's the cosmere's biggest cremhole)
C-R-E-M-H-O-L-E
Everybody
C-R-E-M-H-O-L-E
I'm a cremhole and I'm proud of it

Heh, it autocorrected to an improved version!

Edited by aemetha
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On 12/9/2017 at 5:06 AM, Toaster Retribution said:

And if they fail, as the old Radiants failed

The Blades

The spren!

Oh baby you don't know what you do to me, this is fantastic. I only wish you had him do the "This I swear by the stars" line at the end.

Now I'm going to have to try a re-setting of One Day More, with the whole cast.

Or, my favorite musical, Dogfight, with First Date/Last Night as a date between Adolin and Shallan.

Spoiler

 

EDIT: I did it. I'm not too proud, except for the part that I totally am. Not a date between Shallan and Adolin, but instead set in the chasms when Shallan and Kaladin are trapped (because I'm a shameless Shalladin shipper and I'll go down with the ship, damnit). This takes place after the highstorm, while they're walking back. Without further ado, I present Highstorm/Last Night:


Shallan:
Stormlight, dun glow
A light that saves your life when power flows
Well, let it pour
Just cover up whatever came before

Kaladin:
Highstorm, whips through
And makes you do some crem you'd never do
Shardblade near: how the hell did it get here?

BOTH:
And we go

Bum bum bum
bum bum bum bum
bum bum bum bum bum
bum bum bum bum bum

Don't know how s/he survived the fall (x2)

Shallan:
I'll lead the way
Though how I do, to him, I'll never say.
What he saw?

Kaladin:
*cough*

Shallan:
What?

Kaladin:
Huh?

Shallan:
Don't expect too much, just draw

Kaladin:
Bright eyes, frank stare
Yeah her eyes are light
Why do you care?
What took hold?
Look at her, she looks so... cold

BOTH:
And we go

Bum bum bum
bum bum bum bum
bum bum bum bum bum
bum bum bum bum bum

Don't know how s/he survived the fall (x2)

Shallan:
He protects me holding Pattern's blade
He'd be dying

Kaladin:
She'd be dead

BOTH:
If you had stayed
And you might miss
Any good that could come
After this

Shallan:
Highstorm

Kaladin:
Last night

BOTH:
Almost was revealed, but not quite

Kaladin:
So bring her out

Shallan:
Give him a shot

BOTH:
Cause people can surprise you... or not

And we go

Bum bum bum
bum bum bum bum
bum bum bum bum bum
bum bum bum bum bum

Bum bum

Edited by Rainier
Lyrics, bad ones
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2 minutes ago, Ailvara said:

"I'll make a man out of you" for Kaladin getting bridge 4 in shape! 

Let's get down to business to survive the runs
When they send new members, their minds are dun.
You're the saddest bunch I've ever met, but you can bet before we're through
Mister I'll make a crew out of you!

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15 hours ago, aemetha said:

Heh, it autocorrected to an improved version!

Crem-hole, I think that might actually be worse than the original, I mean dude should probably see a GI doc if they have a case of Crem-hole. Haven't heard the Denis Leary song in question, but that's some funny rust brother.

3 hours ago, Rainier said:

Shallan:
Highstorm

Kaladin:
Last night

BOTH:
Almost was revealed, but not quite

Ahhh, the tension, C'est lamour

40 minutes ago, Rainier said:

Let's get down to business to survive the runs
When they send new members, their minds are dun.
You're the saddest bunch I've ever met, but you can bet before we're through
Mister I'll make a crew out of you!

Nice!

Speaking of Disney songs, I posted this one on the Cosmere! The Musical thread.

This is Taravangian singing "Be Prepared" from the Lion King:

Spoiler

SETTING: Taravangian's private quarters in Urithiru, where the test to determine his intelligence level is administered every day. Taravangian paces in agitation, Adrotagia, Mrall and a couple of Mr. T's personal attendants are in the room, waiting to hear his instructions. It's obviously one of his better days.

Song: Be Prepared (sung to Be Prepared from the Lion King)

I know your powers of retention
Are as thick as a chull's carapace
But dense as you are, pay attention
The diagram's losing its place

It's clear from your vacant expressions
The light has gone out of your spheres.
But were talking 'bout True Desolations
Even half-wits should be in tears

So prepare for the end of some lifetimes,
Be prepared for some terrible news.
The True Desolation
shows our desperation.

Then what's the embargo?

Just listen to Vargo
I know it sounds sordird
But look what that war did
When the Radiants said that we're through!
A small piece we can save 'cause we dared,
Be Prepared!

Yeah! Be prepared. We'll be prepared! For what?

For the end of all things.

End Odium?

No, Fools! We're going to join him. And kill kings, too

Great idea! Who needs a king?

No King, No king! La la la la la!

Idiots! There will be a king!

But you said....

I will be king! Stick with me and the one true diagram!

Yay, all right! Long live the king!
Long live the king!

It's great that the we'll soon be protected
By a king who'll save all of Roshar

Of course, some must go, it's expected
The diagram's been quite clear so far.
The future is mostly surmises
And though I'm the smartest you'll see
The point that I must emphasize is,
You can't change a bit without me!

So prepare to kill most of this country
Be prepared for the bloodiest hands     (Oooo, la-la-la-la)
Morality's bending                                 (Who needs good?)
The world it is ending—                         (That's not good)
Kharbranth can be spared                    (In defeat)
If I haven't erred,                                   (We're dead meat) 
To see unpolluted
My genius is too good
To not patch up the true Diagram
Yes, my goal's low for who can be spared
Be prepared!

Yes, our goal's low for who can be spared,
Be Prepared!

 

 

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15 hours ago, aemetha said:

And there ain't a sharddamn thing anybody can do about it
You know why, because we've got the dawnshards, that's why
Two words, invested storming weapons, OK?
Alethkar, Jah Keved, Thaylenah, they can have all the honor they want
They can have a big honor cakewalk
Right through the middle of Urithiru
And it won't make a lick of difference
Because we've got the dawnshards, OK?
Meridas Amaram’s not dead, he's a cognitive shadow
And as soon as we find a cure for being chopped into pieces
We're gonna bring Amaram back across and he's gonna be pretty pissed off
You know why
Have you ever cut your finger?
Well multiply that by 15 million times
That's how pissed off the Amaram's gonna be!
I'm gonna get Amaram, and Moash
And Sadeas, and Ialai, and a case of purple
And march down to Kholinar and

Hahahahah, holy crap, that's so funny!
I Nominate Denis Leary to be the new King's...err Queen's Wit.

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One more from Dogfight, this time a Bridge Four squire training session set to Some Kinda Time. I present Some Kinda Light

Spoiler

 

Quote

You better call the spren and give ‘em warning
Sound the siren, bang the bell
A brand new squire begins his soaring
On his way to raise some hell
No sweepin’ us out, or keeping us quiet
Try it!

From Urithiru, among the mountains
See us as we hit the sky
Lock your door and hide your stormlight,
As we're learning how to fly
Going all in,
Suckin up stormlight to fight
Bridge Four is here, there's no need to fear
We’ll be breathing some kinda light

Some kinda light,
Livin’ it large
Makin’ noise because Bridge Four is now in charge
Some kinda light
Breathe in stormlight, we’ll be Knights for an evening
Gonna be breathing some kinda light.

(spoken)
I hear you guys are building a little bridge crew, Bridge Four. 
I want in.
You know the rules?
Life before death, strength before weakness, journey before destination.
You know about the spren?
Sure do.
Looks like an outstanding candidate to me

(sung)
We’re gonna fly the skies and find some trouble,
One more fight we won't forget
Breathe so deep we’re seeing double,
One more fight with no regret
Anything goes, weightless and cruisin'
Who's in?

A band of brothers you’ve been given,
Pride you never thought you’d feel
The storming life that you were living
Barely seems like it was real
Cause when it gets rough,
Your crew will pull you
Right through
You get that and more when you join Bridge Four
You’re in store for some kinda light
Some kinda light
Don’t think it through
Cause your spren will tell you when you’re nearly due
Some kinda light
Breathe in stormlight,
We’ll be knights for an evening
Don’t you miss out on some kinda light

Goodbye to where we die in blood and lies, and endless gore
No more being left behind, for them to find when stocks grow poor
Farewell to bridge runs, we're in the sun and we want more
Bridge down for you, come have some stew
So raise your cup and eat it up.
And eat it up (repeated)
A wild flight on my first breath of stormlight

The storming sky is ours to borrow
Nothing standing in our way
The storming world will change tomorrow
So we go for broke today
Makin it count, taking that one shot
We’ve got
You just don’t know when the light might go
Here’s to Dalinar and to Alethkar

Some kinda light
Take what we're owed
With a wam bam, thank you, ma’am
Bridge Four will glow
Some kinda light
Breathe in stormlight
We are knights for an evening
What do you say to some kinda light?

No, don’t mind a...
Gotta go find a...
Leave it behind a...

Gonna be having some kinda light

 

 

 

 

Edited by Rainier
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"One Jump Ahead" From Aladin sung by Lift!!!

This would be amazing!!!

Would fit fairly well unedited, but I made some minor adjustments

One Jump Ahead

Lift: Gotta keep
One jump ahead of the breadline
Ahead without shoes on my feet
I steal only what I can eat
(That's Everything!)
One jump ahead of the Azish
That's all, and to put it bluntly
These guys don't 'preciate I'm hungry
Azish:
Riffraff!
Street rat!
Soundrel!
Take that!
Lift:
Just a little snack, guys
Skybreakers: Rip her open, take it back, guys
Lift:
I can take a hint, gotta face the facts
You're my only friend, Voidbringer!
Wyndle:
But!
Azish:
Oh it's sad Lift has hit the bottom
Lift:
Cept I was never at the top
Azish:
I'd blame parents except she hasn't got 'em
Lift:
Gotta eat to live, gotta steal to eat
Tell you all about it when I got the time!
One jump ahead of the slowpokes
One skip ahead of Darkness
Next time should use my Awesomeness
One jump ahead of the Skybreakers
One meal ahead of the rest
I think

 

 

Edited by Ookla the Variable
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