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The Art of Baking: All new Hemalurgy Free Bakery


Quickbronze

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Wonderful smells waft from the short, white-painted building. A large sign hangs above the entryway, proclaiming the establishment's name and the company slogan, "True baked goods for all!" A sign by the road in the building's parking lot advertises: "Hemalurgy and baking do not belong together! We defy Hemalurgically modified foods!" Inside it looks like a normal bakery, breads, cookies, pies, cakes, pastries, croissants, and other baked goods lined up on shelves in neatly stacked boxes. 

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A very short man walks in carrying a very large book. He walks up to the counter to order something, and then realizes there is a person behind it. He jumps away in fright, sits down in the corner to read mumbling about "people saying hi."

He has a very large spike through his chest.

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4 hours ago, Ookla the maladroit said:

The short man looked up worriedly. He looked around frantically if searching for places to hide, and then looked at his book as if considering whether he could successfully hide behind it. Finally, he nodded fearfully at the owner, and continued his book.

At this point a doctor walks in, followed by an assistant.

"I have recently been called upon to surgically remove several spikes," the strange doctor explained. "And every single story mentions their ailment originating from baked goods. Would you mind if I inspect a few of your wares? If I don't find any pointy pieces of metal in them, then I would gladly endorse your Bakery."

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14 minutes ago, Ookla the maladroit said:

At this point the small man looked at the doctor worriedly and fidgeted with his earring. He then walks up the the counter and, in a small voice, asks, “could I please have a cookie?”

The doctor jumped at the sight of the Spike protruding from the small man, then gasping, exclaimed "What are you doing man! You should have asked for me the moment you were spiked! Quick, get on the table."

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A new patron enters, immediately obvious is the lack of an Ookla mask, ignoring the doctor and spiked patron he approaches the counter, "Do you make cookies? I don't trust any cookies! Only the dark side has cookies, everybody knows this... but pie is better anyway. Do you have Pie? I make awesomely Harmonious pies. If you would like i can make Odious ones too..."

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The rude patron takes the pie, then asks, "Is this dairy free, nut free, gluten free, chull free, and voidspren free? Today I only eat things if it was a bother to make it. BTW Cookies aren't evil but only the dark side has them... that make you at least partially dark... you use dark chocolate chips in them don't you! see i told you they were dark side cookies."

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1 hour ago, Ookla the maladroit said:

The spiked man thanks the owner and hands him some clips. Then he goes back to his seat to continue reading. He slowly nibbles on the cookie while occasionally glaring at the doctor over his large book.

The doctor stands there with a confused look on his face, wondering why the spiked man ignored him.

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