Modal Seoul Posted May 30, 2017 Report Share Posted May 30, 2017 Bridge to Terabithia: Spoiler Remind me to give you knot-tying lessons. The Chronicles of Narnia: Spoiler The Magician's Nephew: Spoiler Have your mom eat this fruit. It will make her feel much better. The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe: Spoiler Step right up and read the fantasy version of The Gospel According to St. John! The Horse and His Boy: Spoiler It's like Mr. Peabody and Sherman! (Does this book have anything to do with the main storyline?!) Prince Caspian: Spoiler Watch in horror awe as Mickey Mouse, I mean, Reepicheep steals the stage. The Voyage of the Dawn Treader: Spoiler BEST. VOYAGE. EVER. The Silver Chair: Spoiler A boy, a girl, and their duck-footed friend save a prince from eternal..........sitting down. The Last Battle: Spoiler You call this a battle?! Tis not even a quarrel! Doctor Who: Spoiler Watch a lonely old man kidnap dozens of people for his personal use! (Blue box included) 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post BrightnessRadiant Posted June 1, 2017 Popular Post Report Share Posted June 1, 2017 (edited) I so wish there wasn't a limit on upvotes!!!! These are hilarious!! I think I'll try WoK: Spoiler A guy joins the army cuz he wants to take lives instead of save them, A girl steals from her mentor and makes it look like she tries to commit suicide, then gets to be taught anyways, and an old warlord blames everyone else for being bloodthirsty like he used to be but he changed his mind cuz of his cool dreams, and last but not least a bald child/man kills the king because someone had his rock. I dunno...this is what I got haha And WoR: Spoiler no one is friends at first, and both guys like the same girl who is a murderer. Oh, and also there's this whole race of people who want to wipe out this other race even though they are the ones who started the war by killing the second nation's king and not telling them why. And apparently, that one guy can see the future. (that could have been helpful to know before the war started.) hehe this is fun Steelheart: Spoiler There's this total nerd kid who falls in love with this grumpy girl cuz she always calls him knees and yell at him. Firefight: Spoiler This kid thinks he's being offered the chance to be percy jackson and he says no thanks and kills an old lady. Calamity: Spoiler This girl has powers that even the person who gave her those powers doesn't understand and then the book turns into Dr. Who. I couldn't help it The Final Empire: Spoiler girl has powers and falls in love with and risks her life for a guy who ignores her and reads books a lot. An expert thief lies to everyone and gets them to fight for him. It's okay to drink metals if they're mixed right. seriously though, that's not safe haha Alcatraz vs. the Evil Librarians Spoiler see: Alcatraz vs. the Evil Librarians haha....I still like it though I think I'm done....WAIT! Edgedancer: Spoiler little girl likes to eat other people's food and slide around on her belly like a penguin. I love Lift!!....personally she reminds me of Toph from the last airbender Edited June 1, 2017 by BrightnessRadiant 18 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ryshadium90 Posted June 1, 2017 Report Share Posted June 1, 2017 3 minutes ago, BrightnessRadiant said: I love Lift!!....personally she reminds me of Toph from the last airbender Ditto! For both parts. I love your summary of Lift. This thread fits her perfectly because her character is already blunt and simple. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrightnessRadiant Posted June 1, 2017 Report Share Posted June 1, 2017 @ryshadium90 haha thanks! Nice profile pic btw lol 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ammanas Posted June 2, 2017 Report Share Posted June 2, 2017 For Stormlight Archives: Annoying female (Shallan) says idiotic things the entire book and everyone stands amazed of how "clever" she is. * * Before I get a lot of backlash- my description is a hyperbole of my true feelings. She does annoy me, but she does have some redeeming qualities. Of all the Sanderson character depictions she is my least favorite of all his works. My favorite female that Sanderson writes is Vin and the protagonist from Emperor's Soul. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zeldan Posted June 2, 2017 Report Share Posted June 2, 2017 She's one of my personal favorites, as I like her sarcastic remarks. That being said, to each their own, you're allow to dislike a character, even a fan favorite one from time to time. For instance, I hate Luke Skywalker. He's one of the lamest heroes, who gets one good shot in during his first movie, bumbles through the second, then at the end of the trilogy, his whole confrontation with his father is made pointless by the fact that the Death Star II is destroyed, in a far more dangerous way than he did before by the way, which means that the Emperor and Darth Vader would have died anyways. LAAAAME! Still, I'm a big fan of Star Wars. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truthweaver Posted June 3, 2017 Report Share Posted June 3, 2017 The Rithmatist: Spoiler In this Harry Potter-esque tale, Harry is a Muggle who still manages to be better at magic than everyone, and Hermione struggles academically but can draw really cool unicorns. 13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Sheridan_rd Posted June 6, 2017 Popular Post Report Share Posted June 6, 2017 (edited) Words of Radiance: Shallan Spoiler A ginger artist loses her soul.... caster, is beaten by a stick, and forced into an arranged marriage with a solider who frequently soils himself on the battlefield. WoR: Szeth Spoiler A magical wide eyed, bald man kills people because an old guy that is sometimes smart owns a rock. WoR: Jasnah Spoiler A eccentric scholar abandons a young girl on a pirate ship to fake her death. Then searches for answers that everyone else found out by doing nothing. Warbreaker Spoiler A princess works with mercenaries to start a war because her little sister married her fiance. Mistborn Era 1 Spoiler A poor girl learns magic and falls in love with a rich boy. Kills his entire family, watches him die, and kills herself. BoM: Wayne Spoiler Reformed thief gives up on decade long crush of lesbian to start physical relationship with elderly cross dresser. Meanwhile he stalks a college student and hires another to work on toys. Edited June 6, 2017 by Sheridan_rd Expanded 28 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steeldancer Posted June 6, 2017 Report Share Posted June 6, 2017 The Flash: Spoiler Over and over, Barry is proved as NOT being the fastest man alive. Also, STOP MESSING WITH THE TIMELINE. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
king of nowhere Posted June 6, 2017 Report Share Posted June 6, 2017 mistborn, first trilogy: Spoiler a god did it. another god undid it. the whole plot would have never happened if a girl hadn't been wearing an earring anyway 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheridan_rd Posted June 6, 2017 Report Share Posted June 6, 2017 (edited) Steelheart Spoiler A boy spends half his life figuring out how to kill a villian that an toddler could vanquish. Firefight Spoiler A simple disagreement leds to a city's near destruction because No One Talked to each other. Calamity Spoiler If anyone really knew Prof, this would be a very short story Edited June 6, 2017 by Sheridan_rd 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrightnessRadiant Posted June 7, 2017 Report Share Posted June 7, 2017 On 6/6/2017 at 1:44 PM, The Flash said: The Flash: Hide contents Over and over, Barry is proved as NOT being the fastest man alive. Also, STOP MESSING WITH THE TIMELINE. HA! I just said this first part to Lopen the other day!!! (I was talking about this thread, and I was like if I did it for the Flash series I would say...) haha 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A Budgie Posted June 8, 2017 Report Share Posted June 8, 2017 Alcatraz vs the evil librarians: Spoiler Boy has a talent for breaking things and his grandfather who swears in author's names defeat a bunch of librarians with glasses. Worst bit is, I didn't need to make any of that weirder than it already is... 2001: A space Odessy Spoiler Dude looks at big rock on moon for a while, while another guy goes on a trip and kills his computer. Also, aliens did some cool stuff. Every single Poirot ever: Spoiler Guy with fabulous moustaches spends entire book admiring them and being kinda full of himself and sitting in his chair. Oh, and he figures out who did it. Every single Miss Marple: Spoiler Old lady talkss her past and knits a scarf. Also, she knows who did the murder. Arcanum Unbounded: Spoiler Woman fangirls over magic systems inbetween short stories, but somehow forgot an entire planet. Mistborn: Secret History: Spoiler Guy who was dead is not dead anymore. Perfect State: Spoiler A guy's date goes wrong when the woman he's with turns out to be from another world. Legion: Spoiler The voices in a guy's head are smarter than he is. Firstborn: Spoiler Guy spends book wishing he could be as good as himself. Worm: Spoiler Girl fights people with bugs because aliens give people powers. Night Watch (Terry Pratchett): Spoiler Guy travels back in time so he can talk about hardboiled eggs. The Golden Compass: Spoiler Girl uses compass incorrectly, then fights a bear. The Little Prince: Spoiler Boy talks to random stranger and causes lots of people to cry. Okay, I think that's enough for now. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faceless Mist-Wraith Posted July 2, 2017 Report Share Posted July 2, 2017 Warbreaker: Spoiler Two sisters switch personalities and the day is saved by an army of Weeping Angels. Secret History: Spoiler Brandon Sanderson decides to answer a few major questions by creating many more. Secret History (alternate): Spoiler 8 years after the fact, Brandon Sanderson decides to make you relive your favorite character dying. Alcatraz vs. The Evil Librarians (the series): Spoiler A dramatic and suspenseful opening scene, followed by four books of backstory. Almost ten years later we arrive back at the same point in time, and realize that the light hearted and fun humor of the past four books has not prepared us for the emotional rollercoaster that is the last half of the fifth book. 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toaster Retribution Posted July 3, 2017 Report Share Posted July 3, 2017 I'll give it a go: A Game of Thrones: Spoiler A man advises his BFF who happens to be king, until the BFF is killed by alcohol and a pig. The man then tells the queen that he knows she cheated on the king with her own brother, and gets beheaded. A Clash of Kings: Spoiler A lot of people wants the throne, and one of them kills his brother with a shadow, before he attacks the capital with a huge army, and is defeated by the combined efforts of old alchemists, a dwarf, a brothel-owner and the dead brothers armor. A Storm of Swords Spoiler The book were three main characters were killed off on weddings, and an old guy gets shot while on the toilet. A Feast for Crows: Spoiler A female knight roadtrips with a priest, a squire, a dog and a former bully in order to find her dead friends daughter. In the end, she is hanged by her ressurrected best friend for carrying a sword. A Dance with Dragons Spoiler A guy pardons a lot of criminals in order to fight monsters no one believes in, and is stabbed by his friends while watching a giant tear a man apart. Warbreaker Spoiler The story of a bunch of color-manipulating undead who are worshipped as gods by humans. WoK: Spoiler The story were the protagonists are followed by strange spirits, hallucinates during storms and draws things unintentionally, and one if the villains is an old man who murders people in his basement because he wrote stuff on his own walls. WoR: Spoiler This time, the protagonists turn the spirits into weapons, speaks to a face in the sky, and spends the entire book being afraid of a flying bald slave. The old man starts a war with millions of casualties because of the stuff he wrote on a desk drawer. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Modal Seoul Posted July 3, 2017 Report Share Posted July 3, 2017 Marvel Cinematic Universe: Spoiler Iron Man: Spoiler Robert Downey Jr. plays himself. And it's awesome. The Incredible Hulk: Spoiler Bruce Banner struggles with drug addiction and relapses. Iron Man 2: Spoiler This is the live-action version of Cars 2. Thor: Spoiler Worlds collide as George Kirk falls in love with Padme Amidala. Captain America: The First Avenger: Spoiler We would like to show you a two-hour long trailer to The Avengers. The Avengers: Spoiler How can they hear each other without freaking EARPIECES??!! Iron Man 3: Spoiler The world is coming undone. Gandhi is now a terrorist druggie, and Tony Stark doesn't listen to AC/DC anymore. Thor: The Dark World: Spoiler Now this is how not to do Shakespeare in the park. Captain America: The Winter Soldier: Spoiler We interrupt this production to bring you The Bourne Ultimatum. Guardians of the Galaxy: Spoiler Chris Pratt is playing himself. And it's HILARIOUS!!! Avengers: Age of Ultron: Spoiler This movie was so bad that Joss Whedon has now resigned to working for DC. Ant-Man: Spoiler Scott has the best daughter ever. Captain America: Civil War: Spoiler They're not even fighting about the accords! What's wrong? Doctor Strange: Spoiler Sir, I need to ask you to take the LSD after you have driven the Lamborghini, okay? Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2: Spoiler Dang, Yondu's amazing. I wonder if he'll be in Infinity Wa- oops. I spoke too soon. X-Men Movies: Spoiler X-Men: Spoiler Well, I thought this was gonna be different than the TV show. X2: Spoiler BEST. SEQUEL. EVER!!!!!! X-Men: The Last Stand: Spoiler Wait, where's Nightcrawler? Why did you take away Mystique's powers? Shouldn't the Phoenix be more powerful? Awww, This post has been reported for attempting to skirt the rules you, Brett Ratner. This post has been reported for attempting to skirt the rules you. X-Men Origins: Wolverine: Spoiler "Do you have a flamethrower?' "Why?" "Cause I'm gonna pour gasoline on that disc and set it on fire." Did Brett Ratner direct this? X-Men: First Class: Spoiler Magneto takes on the main character from Footloose. The Wolverine: Spoiler "Do you have a car?" "Why?" "Cause I'm gonna run that disc over again. And again. And again." Are you absolutely positive Brett Ratner didn't sneak in? X-Men: Days of Future Past: Spoiler We interrupt this production to bring you Terminator 2: Judgment Day. Deadpool: Spoiler X Gon Give It To Ya! X-Men: Apocalypse: Spoiler Is this a good movie or a bad one? I really can't tell. Logan: Spoiler "Give me a tissue." "Why?" "Cause I'm gonna weep for joy." Best X-Men movie ever. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yitzi2 Posted July 3, 2017 Report Share Posted July 3, 2017 To do all the Cosmere books and complete stories (i.e. not the broadsheets or other Allomancer Jak stuff) I've read so far: White Sand Vol 1: Spoiler A scholar searches for a group that has been almost completely wiped out. Elantris: Spoiler To serve his new home, a zombie must deceive the woman he was supposed to marry. The Hope of Elantris: Spoiler A babysitter watches important events take place. The Emperor's Soul: Spoiler A thief manipulates the future of an empire. The Eleventh Metal: Spoiler A teacher fails to recognize the true potential of his disciple. The Final Empire: Spoiler Inspired by flowers, a man fakes his own resurrection. The Well of Ascension (difficult because so many largely-unrelated things occur): Spoiler Spurred by prophecy, an emperor and his wife seek a legendary source of power. The Hero of Ages: Spoiler A man who has lost his faith finds that religion held the answers all along. Secret History: Spoiler A man uses his card-playing skills to save the world. Alloy of Law: Spoiler A woman finds that her "useless" talents are just what her sister's fiancee needs. Shadows of Self: I don't think I can do better than (or even close to but substantially different than) the OP on this one. Bands of Mourning: Spoiler A man and his sister have an unexpected reunion. Shadows for Silence: Spoiler A search for a serial killer goes horribly wrong, and ends up saved by a ghost. Sixth of the Dust: Spoiler People find loopholes in the Prime Directive. Warbreaker: Spoiler A queen cooperates with plans to overthrow her husband's kingdom. Way of Kings (Kaladin arc): Spoiler A demoralized slave finds courage and turns against his master. Words of Radiance (Shallan arc): Spoiler After killing both of her parents, a young woman meets her arranged fiancee. Edgedancer: Spoiler A young woman shows an old man the error of his ways. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
king of nowhere Posted July 4, 2017 Report Share Posted July 4, 2017 another one for mistborn, because that one is just so easy Spoiler megalomaniac con artist manipulates his friends into helping him start his own personality cult and well of ascension Spoiler following events of book 1, millions die and hero of ages Spoiler even more people die, but some survive in the end, so it is all well and secret history Spoiler the megalomaniac con artists fixes a little part of the mess he created. and he speaks honestly for one sentence. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khyrindor Posted July 4, 2017 Report Share Posted July 4, 2017 (edited) I'll give this a try, sounds fun. White Sand: Spoiler A scoundrel must convince seven important dignitaries that he is not a scoundrel, or else his guild is kaput. Elantris: Spoiler A love triangle (of which the characters are unaware) between a zombie, a foreign princess, and a religious zealot. The fate of a country hangs in the balance. Mistborn: Spoiler Psychopathic Robin Hood raises armies, steals, lies, and murders his way into taking over control of a dystopian city-state. When this fails, he decides he's a god instead, and dies. This works much better. WoA: Spoiler The new government ignores everything psychopathic Robin Hood told them to do, while being invaded by the king's daddy, a sassy paraplegic, and the king's ex-best friend (with their respective armies). When being a good man doesn't work, the king decides it's time to be a tyrant, while his wife murders his entire family and sets free a dark force bent on destroying the world. HoA: Spoiler A conquest treasure hunt is cut short when the dark force bent on destroying the world starts to actually destroy the world. Then, multiple people become god. Secret History: Spoiler Remember Psychopathic Robin Hood? It was all his plan all along. He was a pawn sent by an unraveling dead god. It was all his plan all along. Mistborn Over All: Spoiler A god tricks his alter-ego into creating humans, locks up his alter-ego, then uses humans as pawns to stop his alter-ego once he's free. Then, they join forces and can't do anything. Warbreaker: Spoiler Nothing is as it seems. God is a man-baby. A scruffy-looking nerf-herder was king all along. The world was created by a drunk monkey. WoK: Spoiler Dalinar: A aging tyrant tricks himself into trusting the one person he shouldn't because he thinks of the olden days a bit too hard when it rains. Shallan: A young moral noblewoman A murderer/thief is actually way more important than she realized. Time to kill the slaves. Kaladin: A poor bloke who just wants to help his friends uses his military knowledge to save the day, while a fairy gives him powers and forces him out of his shell by bringing him poison. WoR: Spoiler Shallan: A girl uses a strange talking drawing to become a spy after her mentor's supposed death. What could go wrong? Oh, actually, that went rather well. Kaladin: A man is rewarded for his heroism by becoming in charge of a battalion, then ruins it by speaking at the wrong time. Everyone trusts him after that, and he saves the day again. Dalinar: Tyrant is tired of battle, so he dabbles in politics instead. Some lapses include beating up the king, but that went as well as it could (what with him being the king's uncle/step-daddy). Might do some more later. Enjoy! Edited July 4, 2017 by Khyrindor broken formatting 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oversleep Posted July 4, 2017 Report Share Posted July 4, 2017 (edited) The Matrix: Spoiler A man learns the difference between trying to hit and hitting. alternatively: Spoiler A man discovers he has been living in Wonderland all along, so he dies and becomes a Messiah. Edited July 5, 2017 by Oversleep 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chinsukolo Posted July 5, 2017 Report Share Posted July 5, 2017 (edited) StarWars Episodes 1-3 Spoiler The religious majority believes a prophecy that the 1 person who will balance the Majority(tens of thousands) vs Minority(two) of their religion will be on the side of the Majority. Surprise! he kills everyone till both sides a 2 vs 2 StarWars Episodes 4-6 Spoiler Son of serial killer from above makes out with his sister before losing her to the school slacker, then with a Furry(s) they blow up a dudes small penis compensation station (twice), who was their fathers employer Matrix Trilogy Spoiler A fan of Lawnmower man makes his own Jesus/Bible flic - casts angsty white guy and who never ages as Jesus WoK Spoiler Library nerd took the "special rock" of the emo boy, to make emo boy kill all the leaders and jocks of the world. Psychotic girl who killed her parents judges someone else for killing in self defense. Depressed Soldier with PTSD tries to quit everything because he thinks he's personally responsible for all death, instead listens glow 6 inch pole dancer. Drunkard asshat of a father/General was too drunk to save his brother so "get's clean" and takes it out on his kids, and all the other Generals in the Army. Edited July 5, 2017 by Chinsukolo 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ammanas Posted July 5, 2017 Report Share Posted July 5, 2017 Wise Mans Fear by Rothfuss- Sex Ninjas 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ryshadium90 Posted July 5, 2017 Report Share Posted July 5, 2017 8 hours ago, Ammanas said: Wise Mans Fear by Rothfuss- Sex Ninjas Urgh, not a huge fan of how true that is...But it's still so true! Nice one. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erandeni Posted July 5, 2017 Report Share Posted July 5, 2017 Farseer: Spoiler A kid and his pet are able to save the kingdom from zombies with DRAGONS, he also got a son-nephew in his way. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElyssK Posted July 5, 2017 Report Share Posted July 5, 2017 The ones for Mistborn are hilarious I'll give some a try. Shades of Milk and Honey Spoiler Girl thinks younger sister is more attractive but she ends up with all the attention. Also there's magic. Wheel of Time Spoiler Guy with voice in his head has to defeat Evil. Decides last-minute that's a bad idea but everyone's happy anyway. Steelheart Spoiler Guy who is really bad at metaphors/similes gets Superman to kill himself. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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