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The Chosen Ones


StrikerEZ

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So, this is an idea I've had for years now. I'm gonna go ahead and guess that I had the first inklings of the idea for this book about 4-5 years ago, before or right after I went into middle school, I think. It's gone through several phases, and the original idea is long gone (though it still sorta lives on), but I like where I'm going with it. This is gonna be a long post, probably, so I'm gonna split it up into some several sections.

Magic:

Spoiler

As of right now, the magic system is called Elemancy, but I'll probably change that later, if I can.

Elemancy works by controlling one of the 15 elements (17 if you include Order and Chaos, but those will have their own sections later). The catch is that you cannot create/summon the element, only control it. Elemancers can move their elements telekinetically (if it's a physical element) and can create weapons out of the elements (i.e. sword made of fire, ice, etc.). Physical elements affected by humans are harder to control (such as guns for metal Elemancers), and when an element has been affected by Elemancy, it takes awhile before a different Elemancer can use that element. 

Some of these are still works in progress, and may not make much sense. If they make sense, then yay!

Fire: As you can imagine, fire Elemancers can control fire. This one is the one I'm having the most problems with, as I need it to be fire, but it's hard to make it follow the limitations of only controlling the element, not creating it. My current explanation is that when they're creating fireballs, they're actually burning trace materials in the air as fuel. Of course, besides that problem, they can light things on fire and control how the fire moves, burns, etc. This is easily one of the most destructive of the elements.

Water: Water Elemancers can control water only in its liquid state. They can change ice and vapor into water, but not the other way around. Using water, they could make tsunamis, make it rain (this requires for the clouds to already be in position, as they can't control the clouds themselves), etc.

Ice: Ice Elemancers can control ice, obviously. They can change water into ice, but they can't change ice into any other state. They also can't turn vapor into ice. The ice could be used to create ice walls, make ice spikes to launch at people, etc. Elemantic ice does melt, but at a much slower rate than normal ice.

Vapor: Vapor Elemancers can control water in its gaseous state. They can change water into vapor, but they can't turn vapor into water or ice into vapor. Vapor is usually considered one of the weaker elements, though vapor Elemancers can control clouds and weather formations (tornadoes could be formed, but not controlled).

Stone: Stone Elemancers can control rocks and stones, if that wasn't obvious. They can lift giant boulders straight out of the ground and fling them at people, build walls out of the stones, etc. In addition to controlling stones/rocks, they can also control seismic waves (I say it like that, but what they are actually doing is causing earthquakes-this requires a lot of power, which will be explained later).

Metal: Metal elemancers can control metals, obviously. While they could technically control metals like sodium or lithium, metals like silver, iron, gold, etc. are far easier and more efficient to control, plus they're deadlier. While the metal would still be in its unprocessed form underground, these Elemancers could bring up the metal and shape into processed forms (imagine shiny smooth metal). While it's not impossible to control metals affected by humans, it's much harder.

Sand: Sand Elemancers can control sand. They can lift it telekinetically, so as to make rising sand dunes or big waves of sand. The sand can also be compacted into large walls of it, and held in place with the Elemancy. The sand could also be used as transportation, since you could ride across the waves of sand.

Crystal: Crystal Elemancers can control crystals. This mainly includes things like diamonds, rubies, sapphires, and other gemstones. However, salt crystals, for example, could be controlled. This is one of the weaker powers, unless the crystals are use de as big sharp spikes to launch at people, but it has big implications in how the universe I've created works.

Air: Air Elemancers can control the air/wind. They can create tornadoes, cause winds to soar to insanely high speeds, use the air to fly, or even suck the air away from an area, effectively creating a vacuum. Of course, when they fly, friction and lower temperatures at higher elevations still affect them.

Lightning: Lightning Elemancers can control lightning/electricity. They can rain lightning bolts down from the sky (I'm not sure on the exact science, but they don't need storms, but storms definitely do help), can make electricity in their hands, or even charge batteries (talking far into the future on this world). They can even absorb electrical charges and store them for later.

Sound: Sound Elemancers can control sound waves. They can create loud booms (very good for shocking enemies), make people hear things that aren't there (though they aren't changing the perception of sound, just what the person is actually hearing), and they can increase/decrees the volume of pretty much anything.

Light: Light Elemancers can control light. They can make rooms brighter, or the can concentrate lots of light into one single space, sort of like the magnifying glass trick to burn things. In addition, they can't completely remove light, but they can absorb it and use it for later, effectively making it darker.

Plantlife: Plantlife Elemancers can control plantlife. They can make plants grow more than they should, instantly sprout flowers on plants, or even alter the plant (such as removing the thorns on vines or making a tree produce a different fruit). They can't create plantlife out of nowhere, but recently dead plants can be manipulated (they aren't bringing the plant back to life, just forcing the plant to regrow again, if that makes sense). 

Darkness: Darkness Elemancers can control darkness and shadows. They can spread shadows, though this still just causes the light to be pushed back somewhere else. Also, if they are in shadows, they can pass through these shadows and appear in a different shadow, aka shadow-teleporting. 

Mind: Mind Elemancers can control the mind itself. This is the least understood but probably the most powerful of all the elemantic powers. These Elemancers can read people's minds, access their memories, and can control people's minds (either through direct or indirect influence). 

Elemancy is genetic, so it can only be passed down throughout the generations (mostly-there are hacks to get Elemancy without being born with it). An Elemancer has a set amount of power that they can use. The easiest way to describe it is like this: a Fire Elemancer could have 1,000 points, let's say. The time that they use their "points" (power) and how difficult the ability that's used both deplete the points they have left. If an Elemancer uses ten percent of their power, it could take ten minutes to recharge. That does not mean that it would take five minutes for five percent or twenty minutes for twenty percent. It's more like an exponential function; if less power is used, the time it takes to recharge is pretty low, but if more power is used, it takes a lot longer time to recharge. For our example, ten percent being ten minutes would translate into around two and a half minutes for five percent and 45 minutes for twenty percent.

History:

Spoiler

A long time ago, in the land called Elmentra, there was a crystal. It glowed a magnificent orange, and brought Order wherever it was taken. The people who were blessed by its touch gained the Power of Order, and were later called the Odarians. They could perform magic unlike the likes of which no one had ever seen, and they could control all the elements. They built the Empire of Order, a powerful kingdom which ruled the entire known world, which was ruled by the Orden, who either a king or a queen who was the most powerful Being of Order when they ruled. Elmentra was a beautiful and diverse land, with mountains, frozen tundras, scorching deserts, expansive plains, and all sorts of landforms besides those. 

Then Chaos arrived. It came from the far edges of the empire, slowly eating away at the world, corrupting everything in its path with its dark influence. Nothing was safe from its destruction. 

The Chaos did not stop until it finally reached the capital, Odra in Odaria. There it found the crystal, and it destroyed the crystal. The Chaos reveled in its glory, for it felt it had won. The crystal had shattered into 15 pieces, but it was not destroyed. The Orden used the power of the crystals to push back the Chaos, creating the Rim-a ring of Chaos-infested lands surrounding Elmentra. 

From the shattering of the crystal came the birth of Elemancy. Each crystal bore the powers of one of the elements. The Orden, seeking to prevent another disaster like before, bestowed a crystal upon each of the 15 different peoples of the land. From these original peoples the first elemental societies were born, their DNA forever connected to their elemental crystal.

Over the span of several thousand years, the overall political power of the Orden weakened as the 15 kingdoms grew in power, largely in fear of the Rim; the ever-approaching Rim, which could not be stopped by any of Order. For thousands of years, the Rim was something the people feared, much like how darkness and death are feared.

Then came Osiran, the most powerful Orden Elmentra had seen in over a thousand years. He could conquer Chaos-creatures with barely a flick of his wrist, so the legends say. He was the most beloved of the Ordens, and reunited a dividing Elmentra under a much stronger Empire of Order. When his wife, Elirisa, bore him children, he became the first Orden to father firstborn twins. This was a problem, considering the title of Orden was passed to the firstborn child of the previous Orden. Osiran had never heard of something like this before, so he didn't know what to do. He finally decided that the first twin to be born would be crowned king.

Draco, the firstborn twin, and Tythorn, the second twin, were inseparable as they grew up. They were both taught in the Power of Order, as, even though Draco was to be crowned Orden upon Osiran's death, Tythorn would be, or at least close to being, just as powerful as Draco, even after he received the blessing of the Orden. Neither of the twins complained about this setup of who would get the throne. Tythorn was more of an intellectual type, while Draco was the charismatic and passionate natural leader type.

A few months before the twins' eighteenth birthday, Osiran left to the Rim near the southern border of Arboria, the Kingdom of Plantlife, on account of a reported Chaos-creature sighting in an Arborian town close to the Rim. Osiran and the army of Odarians he had brought were ambushed by hundreds of thousands of Chaos-creatures. Even with his amazing power, Osiran barely survived, but he had been injured and corrupted. Of the 100,000 men he had brought, he returned with less than a thousand.

By the time Osiran had returned to Odra, on the twins' birthday, his corruption was far too along in its process. Osiran would not live past the end of the day. Tythorn had been the first one to greet his father, and he rushed to the libraries to see I felt there were any books about curing Chaos corruption. Sadly, there were none. Draco and Tythorn eventually stood outside of Osiran's room, waiting for the doctor to allow them to enter. Osiran was already close to passing, so he wished to transfer the Orden status to his son. But, in the dark light of the room (both because the corruption was sucking away the light, and the candles were dim), Osiran mistook Tythorn for Draco and passed the power on to him instead. 

Draco was furious. He felt like he had been betrayed by his best friend, brother, and his father. While Tythorn chased Draco down, trying to explain that he hadn't known Osiran was gonna give him the power, Draco wouldn't listen, and he fled. His anger pushed him farther and farther away from the castle, until he found himself at the Rim. Feeling vengeful, he entered, intending to destroy as much as he could. He was never heard from again.

Tythorn never stopped searching for his brother, and grieved the loss of both his father and brother for the rest of his life. However, he was able to push through the sadness and rule Elmentra. While he was not as powerful as Osiran, he made a great Orden, one of the best in history. He eventually fell in love with and married Arsiel, a poor Odarian woman who had a knack for magic. She bore him first a daughter, then a male and female twin. 

However, the joy of both Tythorn and Elmentra was short lived. Exactly 17 years after the death of Osiran, a huge swarm of Chaos-creatures surged from the Rim, lead by a mysterious winged figure. The ravaged the land, but charged straight for the castle. Tythorn had studied the Power of Order, but he was no fighter. Still, he prepared himself, along with his armies, to fight this monstrous hoard. The battle raged on for hours, and the creatures surrounded the castle, leaving no escape. Tythorn and his men fought valiantly and dragged the majority of the fighting away from the castle, but there were far too many creatures to fight. Suddenly, the winged figure commanded the creatures around Tythorn to stop fighting. He landed before him, revealing himself to be Draco.

Or, at least, what used to be Draco. He had been corrupted beyond belief. He had massive scaly wings sprouting from his back, his entire body was darkened to a dark purple color, and he had strange dark smoke leaking from his massive black and purple armor. Tythorn was shocked, because he had assumed Draco had been dead.

Draco left no time for words, he simply created a large sword from the smoke and began to fight Tythorn. Tythorn fought valiantly, but he had never been as good of a swordsman as Draco, and he spent most of the fight preparing a spell to trap Draco. Finally, Tythorn had been pushed to the edge of the ring of Chaos-creatures surrounding the fight and was forced to kneel. Frantically, Tythorn gathered every last reserve of magic he had within him, and created the most powerful spell he had ever made. He used the knowledge of the original spell used to banish the Rim to help him.

He made a spell which would create a prison for Draco, along with his swarm of creatures. The prison would trap both Draco and Tythorn in it, frozen in time forever. The prison could only be unlocked by bringing the 15 crystals of Elemancy to the prison. To ensure this would happen so he could free himself and use the crystals to kill Draco, he created a prophecy. A prophecy which foretold the coming of the most powerful Elemancers of each element the world had ever seen (this prophecy would later be found written on a scroll in the ruins of the castle, magically preserved). To top it all off, he encased the prison within a cave and created a mountain around it.

This destroyed Tythorn's mind and soul by spreading them throughout the spell itself, but his body remained within the prison. Draco, with his Powers of Chaos was able to manipulate the spell before it fully took effect though. He altered it so that the prison would only free him. He was also able to connect himself to the crystal of Chaos [sorry for not mentioning that earlier] and was partially free from the prison, though he was limited in how much he could interact with the world due to the spell.

This left the both protected and unprotected, as Tythorn's family was assumed to have died in the battle, and with it the Orden lineage was effectively wiped out. This now allows for the set-up for the story.

Prophecy:

Spoiler

Coming later

Story:

Spoiler

Coming later

Geography/Terminology:

Spoiler

Coming later

Order and Chaos:

Spoiler

Coming later

 

Edited by StrikerEZ
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I like talking about magic systems .o.
reminds me of bending from Avatar: the Last Airbender (although I haven't actually watched the series in detail, so apologies if that is an unfair comparrison)

Incedentally, have you read Sandersons essays on his "Laws of Magic"? There does seem to be a lot of details on the powers, but I think you might find his advice helpful for integrating elemancy into a story. I feel like a story like this would benefit from streamlining or interconnecting the different magic powers- as 15 seperate powers might be complicated for a reader to follow (for example, "sound" and "fire" are both based on molecular vibrations- perhaps they could share an element?)

just some thoughts, don't pay attention to me if you already know what you're doing :ph34r:

Edited by Unodus
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11 minutes ago, Unodus said:

I like talking about magic systems .o.
reminds me of bending from Avatar: the Last Airbender (although I haven't actually watched the series in detail, so apologies if that is an unfair comparrison)

Incedentally, have you read Sandersons essays on his "Laws of Magic"? There does seem to be a lot of details on the powers, but I think you might find his advice helpful for integrating elemancy into a story. I feel like a story like this would benefit from streamlining or interconnecting the different magic powers- as 15 seperate powers might be complicated for a reader to follow (for example, "sound" and "fire" are both based on molecular vibrations- perhaps they could share an element?)

just some thoughts, don't pay attention to me if you already know what you're doing :ph34r:

Yeah, I was gonna get in to that. As I'm gonna explain later, at the time the main story takes place, the elements have condensed into just six. This is because several of the elements conquered other elements, and the populations mixed so that it was near impossible to find any of the elements by themselves. Does that make sense?

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Interesting magics, it just makes me wonder... Crystal Elemency refers to mineral formations? Because don't forget metallic crystals, or any of those other cool things. Plantlife Elemency is control over plant hormones? An Elemencer just goes blast with some gibberelins and the plant gets crazy tall?

Other concerns are Metal, Sand, and Lightning. First, Metal. From your description, the transition metals are easiest to affect? By this logic, titanium, mercury, copper, cobalt, chromium, etc... would all be among the easier metals. That's good, because it doesn't limit Metal Elemencers that much.

Sand is strange. What makes Sand different from Earth, and in some cases, Crystal? Sand is simply sediment or dead coral. You can trace it back to a rock (or coral, which uses calcium carbonate)

Lightning has lots of potential, but we need science. Actual lightning is caused by a charge difference between the clouds and the ground (like static electricity, think of that shock when you touch metal). For an Elemencer to replicate that... how about they can manipulate electrical currents, and can discharge electricity? Sorry, I'm trying to turn this into hard magic. Sounds cool though!

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8 hours ago, StrikerEZ said:

So, this is an idea I've had for years now. I'm gonna go ahead and guess that I had the first inklings of the idea for this book about 4-5 years ago, before or right after I went into middle school, I think. It's gone through several phases, and the original idea is long gone (though it still sorta lives on), but I like where I'm going with it. This is gonna be a long post, probably, so I'm gonna split it up into some several sections.

Magic:

  Reveal hidden contents

As of right now, the magic system is called Elemancy, but I'll probably change that later, if I can.

Elemancy works by controlling one of the 15 elements (17 if you include Order and Chaos, but those will have their own sections later). The catch is that you cannot create/summon the element, only control it. Elemancers can move their elements telekinetically (if it's a physical element) and can create weapons out of the elements (i.e. sword made of fire, ice, etc.). Physical elements affected by humans are harder to control (such as guns for metal Elemancers), and when an element has been affected by Elemancy, it takes awhile before a different Elemancer can use that element. 

Some of these are still works in progress, and may not make much sense. If they make sense, then yay!

Fire: As you can imagine, fire Elemancers can control fire. This one is the one I'm having the most problems with, as I need it to be fire, but it's hard to make it follow the limitations of only controlling the element, not creating it. My current explanation is that when they're creating fireballs, they're actually burning trace materials in the air as fuel. Of course, besides that problem, they can light things on fire and control how the fire moves, burns, etc. This is easily one of the most destructive of the elements.

Water: Water Elemancers can control water only in its liquid state. They can change ice and vapor into water, but not the other way around. Using water, they could make tsunamis, make it rain (this requires for the clouds to already be in position, as they can't control the clouds themselves), etc.

Ice: Ice Elemancers can control ice, obviously. They can change water into ice, but they can't change ice into any other state. They also can't turn vapor into ice. The ice could be used to create ice walls, make ice spikes to launch at people, etc. Elemantic ice does melt, but at a much slower rate than normal ice.

Vapor: Vapor Elemancers can control water in its gaseous state. They can change water into vapor, but they can't turn vapor into water or ice into vapor. Vapor is usually considered one of the weaker elements, though vapor Elemancers can control clouds and weather formations (tornadoes could be formed, but not controlled).

Stone: Stone Elemancers can control rocks and stones, if that wasn't obvious. They can lift giant boulders straight out of the ground and fling them at people, build walls out of the stones, etc. In addition to controlling stones/rocks, they can also control seismic waves (I say it like that, but what they are actually doing is causing earthquakes-this requires a lot of power, which will be explained later).

Metal: Metal elemancers can control metals, obviously. While they could technically control metals like sodium or lithium, metals like silver, iron, gold, etc. are far easier and more efficient to control, plus they're deadlier. While the metal would still be in its unprocessed form underground, these Elemancers could bring up the metal and shape into processed forms (imagine shiny smooth metal). While it's not impossible to control metals affected by humans, it's much harder.

Sand: Sand Elemancers can control sand. They can lift it telekinetically, so as to make rising sand dunes or big waves of sand. The sand can also be compacted into large walls of it, and held in place with the Elemancy. The sand could also be used as transportation, since you could ride across the waves of sand.

Crystal: Crystal Elemancers can control crystals. This mainly includes things like diamonds, rubies, sapphires, and other gemstones. However, salt crystals, for example, could be controlled. This is one of the weaker powers, unless the crystals are use de as big sharp spikes to launch at people, but it has big implications in how the universe I've created works.

Air: Air Elemancers can control the air/wind. They can create tornadoes, cause winds to soar to insanely high speeds, use the air to fly, or even suck the air away from an area, effectively creating a vacuum. Of course, when they fly, friction and lower temperatures at higher elevations still affect them.

Lightning: Lightning Elemancers can control lightning/electricity. They can rain lightning bolts down from the sky (I'm not sure on the exact science, but they don't need storms, but storms definitely do help), can make electricity in their hands, or even charge batteries (talking far into the future on this world). They can even absorb electrical charges and store them for later.

Sound: Sound Elemancers can control sound waves. They can create loud booms (very good for shocking enemies), make people hear things that aren't there (though they aren't changing the perception of sound, just what the person is actually hearing), and they can increase/decrees the volume of pretty much anything.

Light: Light Elemancers can control light. They can make rooms brighter, or the can concentrate lots of light into one single space, sort of like the magnifying glass trick to burn things. In addition, they can't completely remove light, but they can absorb it and use it for later, effectively making it darker.

Plantlife: Plantlife Elemancers can control plantlife. They can make plants grow more than they should, instantly sprout flowers on plants, or even alter the plant (such as removing the thorns on vines or making a tree produce a different fruit). They can't create plantlife out of nowhere, but recently dead plants can be manipulated (they aren't bringing the plant back to life, just forcing the plant to regrow again, if that makes sense). 

Darkness: Darkness Elemancers can control darkness and shadows. They can spread shadows, though this still just causes the light to be pushed back somewhere else. Also, if they are in shadows, they can pass through these shadows and appear in a different shadow, aka shadow-teleporting. 

Mind: Mind Elemancers can control the mind itself. This is the least understood but probably the most powerful of all the elemantic powers. These Elemancers can read people's minds, access their memories, and can control people's minds (either through direct or indirect influence). 

Elemancy is genetic, so it can only be passed down throughout the generations (mostly-there are hacks to get Elemancy without being born with it). An Elemancer has a set amount of power that they can use. The easiest way to describe it is like this: a Fire Elemancer could have 1,000 points, let's say. The time that they use their "points" (power) and how difficult the ability that's used both deplete the points they have left. If an Elemancer uses ten percent of their power, it could take ten minutes to recharge. That does not mean that it would take five minutes for five percent or twenty minutes for twenty percent. It's more like an exponential function; if more power is used, the time it takes to recharge is pretty low, but if more power is used, it takes a lot longer time to recharge. For our example, ten percent being ten minutes would translate into around two and a half minutes for five percent and 45 minutes for twenty percent.

History:

  Reveal hidden contents

Coming later

Prophecy:

  Reveal hidden contents

Coming later

Story:

  Reveal hidden contents

Coming later

 

I'm a huge fan of elemental magic. Well thought out, I have a similar magic system, elements all that jazz. I also enjoy the fact that the powers have limits (I still like mine being OP. Idk im weird I guess), it adds extra interest in how things work. 

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9 hours ago, StrikerEZ said:

It's more like an exponential function; if more less power is used, the time it takes to recharge is pretty low, but if more power is used, it takes a lot longer time to recharge. For our example, ten percent being ten minutes would translate into around two and a half minutes for five percent and 45 minutes for twenty percent.

Last paragraph, Magic Spoiler Tag. That said, I really like the "power needs to recharge" aspect.
Only have a few questions (They're in bullet points because I like neatness)

  • Can Fire Users mess with heat in any way? That could potentially help with your problem.
  • The H2O trio is pretty fleshed out, but can they only affect water or can they affect other liquids?
  • So Lightning is an Elemental of Electricity. That alone might actually validate the science; by throwing one of those absorbed charges at wherever they want the bolt to strike, it alters the charge between the sky and the ground. And then boom
  • Can Sound Users use their power for Sonar/Echolocation? :)
  • Darkness: What does "They can spread shadows, though this still just causes the light to be pushed back somewhere else" actually imply? Does the light just move and make somewhere else brighter than it was?

All in all, I like it. It's well thought out and detailed.

2 hours ago, Hemalurgic_Headshot said:

Sand is strange. What makes Sand different from Earth, and in some cases, Crystal?

The same could be asked of a lot of elemental systems that made Earth and Stone separate powers. There is almost always gonna be moments where multiple powers can affect the same stuff because life doesn't evenly split on the element lines that we use.  ... Now that I think about it, StrikerEZ didn't actually use "Earth" in his list.

Given that Stone mentions "rocks, stones, giant boulders, and earthquakes" I imagine that it differs from Sand on a matter of scale. It's not my system, so I'll defer to Striker's explanation.

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10 hours ago, Hemalurgic_Headshot said:

Interesting magics, it just makes me wonder... Crystal Elemency refers to mineral formations? Because don't forget metallic crystals, or any of those other cool things. Plantlife Elemency is control over plant hormones? An Elemencer just goes blast with some gibberelins and the plant gets crazy tall?

Other concerns are Metal, Sand, and Lightning. First, Metal. From your description, the transition metals are easiest to affect? By this logic, titanium, mercury, copper, cobalt, chromium, etc... would all be among the easier metals. That's good, because it doesn't limit Metal Elemencers that much.

Sand is strange. What makes Sand different from Earth, and in some cases, Crystal? Sand is simply sediment or dead coral. You can trace it back to a rock (or coral, which uses calcium carbonate)

Lightning has lots of potential, but we need science. Actual lightning is caused by a charge difference between the clouds and the ground (like static electricity, think of that shock when you touch metal). For an Elemencer to replicate that... how about they can manipulate electrical currents, and can discharge electricity? Sorry, I'm trying to turn this into hard magic. Sounds cool though!

Crystal Elemancy is more directly related to gemstones than basic crystals, but other crystals can be affected, however it is much harder. And yeah, that pretty much sums it up for Plantlife Elemancy.

Yeah, that's exactly right with Metal. 

A lot of this magic relies on both perception and literal interpretation of the rules. While you could argue that Sand should be removed because it's just using a combination of dead coral and sediment, together, because of how humans view the sand, allows for the sand to be controlled as if it was one thing. Does that make sense?

Yeah, that's basically what I was thinking, I just wasn't 100% sure on the science behind it.

8 hours ago, The Flash said:

I'm a huge fan of elemental magic. Well thought out, I have a similar magic system, elements all that jazz. I also enjoy the fact that the powers have limits (I still like mine being OP. Idk im weird I guess), it adds extra interest in how things work. 

Thanks!

7 hours ago, The One Who Connects said:

Last paragraph, Magic Spoiler Tag. That said, I really like the "power needs to recharge" aspect.
Only have a few questions (They're in bullet points because I like neatness)

  • Can Fire Users mess with heat in any way? That could potentially help with your problem.
  • The H2O trio is pretty fleshed out, but can they only affect water or can they affect other liquids?
  • So Lightning is an Elemental of Electricity. That alone might actually validate the science; by throwing one of those absorbed charges at wherever they want the bolt to strike, it alters the charge between the sky and the ground. And then boom
  • Can Sound Users use their power for Sonar/Echolocation? :)
  • Darkness: What does "They can spread shadows, though this still just causes the light to be pushed back somewhere else" actually imply? Does the light just move and make somewhere else brighter than it was?

All in all, I like it. It's well thought out and detailed.

The same could be asked of a lot of elemental systems that made Earth and Stone separate powers. There is almost always gonna be moments where multiple powers can affect the same stuff because life doesn't evenly split on the element lines that we use.  ... Now that I think about it, StrikerEZ didn't actually use "Earth" in his list.

Given that Stone mentions "rocks, stones, giant boulders, and earthquakes" I imagine that it differs from Sand on a matter of scale. It's not my system, so I'll defer to Striker's explanation.

  • I messed with the idea of heat for Fire, but I'm still not sure. I might add that if I can't come up with a better scientific explanation though.
  • The closer a liquid is to water, the easier it is to control.
  • Yes, but it's difficult.
  • Yes, but it may not always be directly where you push the darkness (this would imply that you're moving the light to a completely different part of the universe, which I've realized doesn't quite make sense). My physics isn't that great, but would it be possible to just reduce how fast the photons are going, so that they emit less light? Or something's like that?

That's actually pretty interesting how you brought up Earth vs. Stone. While the actual element is called Stone, the Stone kingdom goes on to conquer Crystal, Metal, and Sand and forms a class of elements that is called Earth.

Edited by StrikerEZ
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19 minutes ago, StrikerEZ said:

My physics isn't that great, but would it be possible to just reduce how fast the photons are going, so that they emit less light? Or something's like that?

From Physlink:

Quote

Yes and no. If you're talking about light traveling through empty space, then no, there is absolutely nothing we can do to slow it down.

As light travels through matter, though, it "bumps into" the atoms (technically, the photons keep getting absorbed and re-emitted), and so the light _appears_ to travel slower. We measure this phenomenon with a number called the index of refraction, usually represented by the variable 'n'. N is defined to be the speed of light in a vacuum divided by the slower speed in matter, and it depends both on the type of matter in question (different atoms/substances absorb and emit light in different ways) and the wavelength of light in question (different wavelengths of light get absorbed and emitted at different speeds, even in the same substance).

The Question was specifically if it was possible to slow down light, so I'm not sure if that really answered what you were asking about.


26 minutes ago, StrikerEZ said:

That's actually pretty interesting how you brought up Earth vs. Stone. While the actually element is called Stone, the Stone kingdom goes on to conquer Crystal, Metal, and Sand and forms a class of elements that is called Earth.

Oh Yay, I can predict the future now :P That's actually a cool point. Can't wait for the history bit to get filled in

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2 hours ago, The One Who Connects said:

From Physlink:

The Question was specifically if it was possible to slow down light, so I'm not sure if that really answered what you were asking about.


Oh Yay, I can predict the future now :P That's actually a cool point. Can't wait for the history bit to get filled in

Hmm...I'll have to see how I can fix the physics of that then. Or at least make it not break physics as much. :P

Earth isn't the only case like this. I think I mentioned the six kingdoms at some point, right? These kingdoms are Fire, Water, Earth, Air, Light, and Darkness. Fire only has Fire; Water has the trio of water elements; I've already told you about Earth; Air has Air, Lightning, and Sound; Light has Light and Plantlife; and Darkness has Darkness and Mind. I'll get into specifics later, but at the point this story (The Chosen Ones) takes place, it is assumed that the six kingdoms' individual elements are the only elemantic elements, and some of them just happen to have sub-elements. It is possible to find people of the Earth Kingdom, for example, to have just one or two of the elements, but they are rare. It's more common to either have all four or three of them.

Also, I'm thinking about doing a story before the rise or after the fall of the Six Kingdoms (I'm gonna make that the actual term now, because it sounds cool). During this time, you could possibly have two or three elements, even completely unrelated ones like Lightning and Ice. This would make for interesting combinations and interactions of powers. Though, raw power in each of the elements would decrease the more of them you have.

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I thought of a decent enough solution for lightining. If they draw it from their bodies to use as electricity, obviously the body can't support this much electricity. But, if their bodies can store more electricity than a normal human without sustaining damage, then you may have a solution. 

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54 minutes ago, King Cole said:

I thought of a decent enough solution for lightining. If they draw it from their bodies to use as electricity, obviously the body can't support this much electricity. But, if their bodies can store more electricity than a normal human without sustaining damage, then you may have a solution. 

Yeah, that's along the lines of what I was thinking.

@Unodus @Hemalurgic_Headshot @The Flash @The One Who Connects @King Cole

I've updated the original post with the basic history if you guys wanna see it.

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@StrikerEZ nice. The invasion of Chaos-beings just reminded me of wild chalklings in the Rithmatist. Very interesting. 

Is there a soul to Chaos? A deific being that embodies the corruption of the world? An evil mentor of Draco? Likewise, is there a personification of Order? Will Order Reincarnate rise with the union of the fifteen crystals and the sacrifice of the Prodigy (Chosen One), to imbune the proffered vessel with ultimate power to save Elmentia from eternal doom?

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14 minutes ago, Hemalurgic_Headshot said:

@StrikerEZ nice. The invasion of Chaos-beings just reminded me of wild chalklings in the Rithmatist. Very interesting. 

Is there a soul to Chaos? A deific being that embodies the corruption of the world? An evil mentor of Draco? Likewise, is there a personification of Order? Will Order Reincarnate rise with the union of the fifteen crystals and the sacrifice of the Prodigy (Chosen One), to imbune the proffered vessel with ultimate power to save Elmentia from eternal doom?

  1. There is a soul to Chaos. May or may not be kinda linked to Order as well.
  2. Pretty much.
  3. Eh, more like a powerful being corrupting and controlling him.
  4. Yes and no. That's a really complicated question to answer. If you want, I can try to explain it more in detail in a PM.
  5. First off, there's multiple Chosen Ones (one from each element), the crystals are not going to be fused, just inserted into "locks" at the prison, and it's Elmentra. Sorry for the confusion on anything like that. 

Anyway...to answer your question, I'm gonna say that before the book I'll end up writing (The Chosen Ones), the prophecy did come to pass, and there were 15 Chosen Ones that came to the prison in hopes of trying to free Tythorn. The Mind Chosen One realized how Draco had influenced the prophecy, and promptly killed the other Chosen Ones in order to stop the release of Draco. He left a message hidden in the Mind Crystal in the cave, so as to deter the inevitable second group of Chosen Ones. He then took the other 14 crystals and hid them around the world. 

In The Chosen Ones though, because of the merger into the Six Kingdoms, Draco changed the prophecy to reflect this in 6 powerful Elemancers from each of the kingdoms. The story is about Kyren, The Chosen One of Air. He discovers the Mind crystal while in the cave, and learns the truth, but just by being in the cave so close to Draco was enough for him to manipulate them. Kyren doesn't question at first why he wasn't affected by this, but he finds out it's because he has Odarian blood in him.

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3 minutes ago, StrikerEZ said:
  1. There is a soul to Chaos. May or may not be kinda linked to Order as well.
  2. Pretty much.
  3. Eh, more like a powerful being corrupting and controlling him.
  4. Yes and no. That's a really complicated question to answer. If you want, I can try to explain it more in detail in a PM.
  5. First off, there's multiple Chosen Ones (one from each element), the crystals are not going to be fused, just inserted into "locks" at the prison, and it's Elmentra. Sorry for the confusion on anything like that. 

Anyway...to answer your question, I'm gonna say that before the book I'll end up writing (The Chosen Ones), the prophecy did come to pass, and there were 15 Chosen Ones that came to the prison in hopes of trying to free Tythorn. The Mind Chosen One realized how Draco had influenced the prophecy, and promptly killed the other Chosen Ones in order to stop the release of Draco. He left a message hidden in the Mind Crystal in the cave, so as to deter the inevitable second group of Chosen Ones. He then took the other 14 crystals and hid them around the world. 

In The Chosen Ones though, because of the merger into the Six Kingdoms, Draco changed the prophecy to reflect this in 6 powerful Elemancers from each of the kingdoms. The story is about Kyren, The Chosen One of Air. He discovers the Mind crystal while in the cave, and learns the truth, but just by being in the cave so close to Draco was enough for him to manipulate them. Kyren doesn't question at first why he wasn't affected by this, but he finds out it's because he has Odarian blood in him.

Okay. Interesting. Yes, I would like more information in a PM, please.

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On 5/15/2017 at 11:51 PM, StrikerEZ said:

So, this is an idea I've had for years now. I'm gonna go ahead and guess that I had the first inklings of the idea for this book about 4-5 years ago, before or right after I went into middle school, I think. It's gone through several phases, and the original idea is long gone (though it still sorta lives on), but I like where I'm going with it. This is gonna be a long post, probably, so I'm gonna split it up into some several sections.

Magic:

  Reveal hidden contents

As of right now, the magic system is called Elemancy, but I'll probably change that later, if I can.

Elemancy works by controlling one of the 15 elements (17 if you include Order and Chaos, but those will have their own sections later). The catch is that you cannot create/summon the element, only control it. Elemancers can move their elements telekinetically (if it's a physical element) and can create weapons out of the elements (i.e. sword made of fire, ice, etc.). Physical elements affected by humans are harder to control (such as guns for metal Elemancers), and when an element has been affected by Elemancy, it takes awhile before a different Elemancer can use that element. 

Some of these are still works in progress, and may not make much sense. If they make sense, then yay!

Fire: As you can imagine, fire Elemancers can control fire. This one is the one I'm having the most problems with, as I need it to be fire, but it's hard to make it follow the limitations of only controlling the element, not creating it. My current explanation is that when they're creating fireballs, they're actually burning trace materials in the air as fuel. Of course, besides that problem, they can light things on fire and control how the fire moves, burns, etc. This is easily one of the most destructive of the elements.

Water: Water Elemancers can control water only in its liquid state. They can change ice and vapor into water, but not the other way around. Using water, they could make tsunamis, make it rain (this requires for the clouds to already be in position, as they can't control the clouds themselves), etc.

Ice: Ice Elemancers can control ice, obviously. They can change water into ice, but they can't change ice into any other state. They also can't turn vapor into ice. The ice could be used to create ice walls, make ice spikes to launch at people, etc. Elemantic ice does melt, but at a much slower rate than normal ice.

Vapor: Vapor Elemancers can control water in its gaseous state. They can change water into vapor, but they can't turn vapor into water or ice into vapor. Vapor is usually considered one of the weaker elements, though vapor Elemancers can control clouds and weather formations (tornadoes could be formed, but not controlled).

Stone: Stone Elemancers can control rocks and stones, if that wasn't obvious. They can lift giant boulders straight out of the ground and fling them at people, build walls out of the stones, etc. In addition to controlling stones/rocks, they can also control seismic waves (I say it like that, but what they are actually doing is causing earthquakes-this requires a lot of power, which will be explained later).

Metal: Metal elemancers can control metals, obviously. While they could technically control metals like sodium or lithium, metals like silver, iron, gold, etc. are far easier and more efficient to control, plus they're deadlier. While the metal would still be in its unprocessed form underground, these Elemancers could bring up the metal and shape into processed forms (imagine shiny smooth metal). While it's not impossible to control metals affected by humans, it's much harder.

Sand: Sand Elemancers can control sand. They can lift it telekinetically, so as to make rising sand dunes or big waves of sand. The sand can also be compacted into large walls of it, and held in place with the Elemancy. The sand could also be used as transportation, since you could ride across the waves of sand.

Crystal: Crystal Elemancers can control crystals. This mainly includes things like diamonds, rubies, sapphires, and other gemstones. However, salt crystals, for example, could be controlled. This is one of the weaker powers, unless the crystals are use de as big sharp spikes to launch at people, but it has big implications in how the universe I've created works.

Air: Air Elemancers can control the air/wind. They can create tornadoes, cause winds to soar to insanely high speeds, use the air to fly, or even suck the air away from an area, effectively creating a vacuum. Of course, when they fly, friction and lower temperatures at higher elevations still affect them.

Lightning: Lightning Elemancers can control lightning/electricity. They can rain lightning bolts down from the sky (I'm not sure on the exact science, but they don't need storms, but storms definitely do help), can make electricity in their hands, or even charge batteries (talking far into the future on this world). They can even absorb electrical charges and store them for later.

Sound: Sound Elemancers can control sound waves. They can create loud booms (very good for shocking enemies), make people hear things that aren't there (though they aren't changing the perception of sound, just what the person is actually hearing), and they can increase/decrees the volume of pretty much anything.

Light: Light Elemancers can control light. They can make rooms brighter, or the can concentrate lots of light into one single space, sort of like the magnifying glass trick to burn things. In addition, they can't completely remove light, but they can absorb it and use it for later, effectively making it darker.

Plantlife: Plantlife Elemancers can control plantlife. They can make plants grow more than they should, instantly sprout flowers on plants, or even alter the plant (such as removing the thorns on vines or making a tree produce a different fruit). They can't create plantlife out of nowhere, but recently dead plants can be manipulated (they aren't bringing the plant back to life, just forcing the plant to regrow again, if that makes sense). 

Darkness: Darkness Elemancers can control darkness and shadows. They can spread shadows, though this still just causes the light to be pushed back somewhere else. Also, if they are in shadows, they can pass through these shadows and appear in a different shadow, aka shadow-teleporting. 

Mind: Mind Elemancers can control the mind itself. This is the least understood but probably the most powerful of all the elemantic powers. These Elemancers can read people's minds, access their memories, and can control people's minds (either through direct or indirect influence). 

Elemancy is genetic, so it can only be passed down throughout the generations (mostly-there are hacks to get Elemancy without being born with it). An Elemancer has a set amount of power that they can use. The easiest way to describe it is like this: a Fire Elemancer could have 1,000 points, let's say. The time that they use their "points" (power) and how difficult the ability that's used both deplete the points they have left. If an Elemancer uses ten percent of their power, it could take ten minutes to recharge. That does not mean that it would take five minutes for five percent or twenty minutes for twenty percent. It's more like an exponential function; if less power is used, the time it takes to recharge is pretty low, but if more power is used, it takes a lot longer time to recharge. For our example, ten percent being ten minutes would translate into around two and a half minutes for five percent and 45 minutes for twenty percent.

History:

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A long time ago, in the land called Elmentra, there was a crystal. It glowed a magnificent orange, and brought Order wherever it was taken. The people who were blessed by its touch gained the Power of Order, and were later called the Odarians. They could perform magic unlike the likes of which no one had ever seen, and they could control all the elements. They built the Empire of Order, a powerful kingdom which ruled the entire known world, which was ruled by the Orden, who either a king or a queen who was the most powerful Being of Order when they ruled. Elmentra was a beautiful and diverse land, with mountains, frozen tundras, scorching deserts, expansive plains, and all sorts of landforms besides those. 

Then Chaos arrived. It came from the far edges of the empire, slowly eating away at the world, corrupting everything in its path with its dark influence. Nothing was safe from its destruction. 

The Chaos did not stop until it finally reached the capital, Odra in Odaria. There it found the crystal, and it destroyed the crystal. The Chaos reveled in its glory, for it felt it had won. The crystal had shattered into 15 pieces, but it was not destroyed. The Orden used the power of the crystals to push back the Chaos, creating the Rim-a ring of Chaos-infested lands surrounding Elmentra. 

From the shattering of the crystal came the birth of Elemancy. Each crystal bore the powers of one of the elements. The Orden, seeking to prevent another disaster like before, bestowed a crystal upon each of the 15 different peoples of the land. From these original peoples the first elemental societies were born, their DNA forever connected to their elemental crystal.

Over the span of several thousand years, the overall political power of the Orden weakened as the 15 kingdoms grew in power, largely in fear of the Rim; the ever-approaching Rim, which could not be stopped by any of Order. For thousands of years, the Rim was something the people feared, much like how darkness and death are feared.

Then came Osiran, the most powerful Orden Elmentra had seen in over a thousand years. He could conquer Chaos-creatures with barely a flick of his wrist, so the legends say. He was the most beloved of the Ordens, and reunited a dividing Elmentra under a much stronger Empire of Order. When his wife, Elirisa, bore him children, he became the first Orden to father firstborn twins. This was a problem, considering the title of Orden was passed to the firstborn child of the previous Orden. Osiran had never heard of something like this before, so he didn't know what to do. He finally decided that the first twin to be born would be crowned king.

Draco, the firstborn twin, and Tythorn, the second twin, were inseparable as they grew up. They were both taught in the Power of Order, as, even though Draco was to be crowned Orden upon Osiran's death, Tythorn would be, or at least close to being, just as powerful as Draco, even after he received the blessing of the Orden. Neither of the twins complained about this setup of who would get the throne. Tythorn was more of an intellectual type, while Draco was the charismatic and passionate natural leader type.

A few months before the twins' eighteenth birthday, Osiran left to the Rim near the southern border of Arboria, the Kingdom of Plantlife, on account of a reported Chaos-creature sighting in an Arborian town close to the Rim. Osiran and the army of Odarians he had brought were ambushed by hundreds of thousands of Chaos-creatures. Even with his amazing power, Osiran barely survived, but he had been injured and corrupted. Of the 100,000 men he had brought, he returned with less than a thousand.

By the time Osiran had returned to Odra, on the twins' birthday, his corruption was far too along in its process. Osiran would not live past the end of the day. Tythorn had been the first one to greet his father, and he rushed to the libraries to see I felt there were any books about curing Chaos corruption. Sadly, there were none. Draco and Tythorn eventually stood outside of Osiran's room, waiting for the doctor to allow them to enter. Osiran was already close to passing, so he wished to transfer the Orden status to his son. But, in the dark light of the room (both because the corruption was sucking away the light, and the candles were dim), Osiran mistook Tythorn for Draco and passed the power on to him instead. 

Draco was furious. He felt like he had been betrayed by his best friend, brother, and his father. While Tythorn chased Draco down, trying to explain that he hadn't known Osiran was gonna give him the power, Draco wouldn't listen, and he fled. His anger pushed him farther and farther away from the castle, until he found himself at the Rim. Feeling vengeful, he entered, intending to destroy as much as he could. He was never heard from again.

Tythorn never stopped searching for his brother, and grieved the loss of both his father and brother for the rest of his life. However, he was able to push through the sadness and rule Elmentra. While he was not as powerful as Osiran, he made a great Orden, one of the best in history. He eventually fell in love with and married Arsiel, a poor Odarian woman who had a knack for magic. She bore him first a daughter, then a male and female twin. 

However, the joy of both Tythorn and Elmentra was short lived. Exactly 17 years after the death of Osiran, a huge swarm of Chaos-creatures surged from the Rim, lead by a mysterious winged figure. The ravaged the land, but charged straight for the castle. Tythorn had studied the Power of Order, but he was no fighter. Still, he prepared himself, along with his armies, to fight this monstrous hoard. The battle raged on for hours, and the creatures surrounded the castle, leaving no escape. Tythorn and his men fought valiantly and dragged the majority of the fighting away from the castle, but there were far too many creatures to fight. Suddenly, the winged figure commanded the creatures around Tythorn to stop fighting. He landed before him, revealing himself to be Draco.

Or, at least, what used to be Draco. He had been corrupted beyond belief. He had massive scaly wings sprouting from his back, his entire body was darkened to a dark purple color, and he had strange dark smoke leaking from his massive black and purple armor. Tythorn was shocked, because he had assumed Draco had been dead.

Draco left no time for words, he simply created a large sword from the smoke and began to fight Tythorn. Tythorn fought valiantly, but he had never been as good of a swordsman as Draco, and he spent most of the fight preparing a spell to trap Draco. Finally, Tythorn had been pushed to the edge of the ring of Chaos-creatures surrounding the fight and was forced to kneel. Frantically, Tythorn gathered every last reserve of magic he had within him, and created the most powerful spell he had ever made. He used the knowledge of the original spell used to banish the Rim to help him.

He made a spell which would create a prison for Draco, along with his swarm of creatures. The prison would trap both Draco and Tythorn in it, frozen in time forever. The prison could only be unlocked by bringing the 15 crystals of Elemancy to the prison. To ensure this would happen so he could free himself and use the crystals to kill Draco, he created a prophecy. A prophecy which foretold the coming of the most powerful Elemancers of each element the world had ever seen (this prophecy would later be found written on a scroll in the ruins of the castle, magically preserved). To top it all off, he encased the prison within a cave and created a mountain around it.

This destroyed Tythorn's mind and soul by spreading them throughout the spell itself, but his body remained within the prison. Draco, with his Powers of Chaos was able to manipulate the spell before it fully took effect though. He altered it so that the prison would only free him. He was also able to connect himself to the crystal of Chaos [sorry for not mentioning that earlier] and was partially free from the prison, though he was limited in how much he could interact with the world due to the spell.

This left the both protected and unprotected, as Tythorn's family was assumed to have died in the battle, and with it the Orden lineage was effectively wiped out. This now allows for the set-up for the story.

Prophecy:

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Coming later

Story:

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Coming later

Geography/Terminology:

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Coming later

Order and Chaos:

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Coming later

 

Wow. I like it. It's cool. 

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10 hours ago, The Flash said:

Wow. I like it. It's cool. 

Thanks. If you're interested, I could add you to the PM where I've been explaining lots of things to @Hemalurgic_Headshot.

Also, I'm really sorry for any typos hidden throughout the main post. I try to catch them as I go, but I will go back and read through for typos later.

@King Cole @The One Who Connects and the others

For the Geography/Terminology section, should I make it more like a glossary, where it's arranged alphabetically? Or should I split up where I list countries and regions and then another section for terms about the magic and stuff?

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Just now, StrikerEZ said:

For the Geography/Terminology section, should I make it more like a glossary, where it's arranged alphabetically? Or should I split up where I list countries and regions and then another section for terms about the magic and stuff?

Back when I tried to make a map of an area for a story thing, I started with regions and cities and worked downwards/inwards, so I'm a proponent of sorting a Geographical Glossary by region/nation. Kinda like this:

Quote
  • Region
    • City 1
      • Library
      • Courthouse
    • City 2
      • Bank
    • Lake
    • Quarry

The Magic Terminology section could probably be alphabetical unless you have lots of Fire specific terms, Ice specific terms, etc.. because that could work better as separate entry sets like the geographical one. If you've got a lot of general terms and not very many Element specific terms then making it all one big list should be fine.

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2 hours ago, The One Who Connects said:

Back when I tried to make a map of an area for a story thing, I started with regions and cities and worked downwards/inwards, so I'm a proponent of sorting a Geographical Glossary by region/nation. Kinda like this:

The Magic Terminology section could probably be alphabetical unless you have lots of Fire specific terms, Ice specific terms, etc.. because that could work better as separate entry sets like the geographical one. If you've got a lot of general terms and not very many Element specific terms then making it all one big list should be fine.

So, I was thinking more along the lines of just listing the different countries, regions, and landmarks. I'm actually working on making a (poorly drawn) map of Elmentra. I might just end up posting that instead.

As for the magic, I think I'm just gonna go with alphabetical.

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11 hours ago, StrikerEZ said:

Thanks. If you're interested, I could add you to the PM where I've been explaining lots of things to @Hemalurgic_Headshot.

Also, I'm really sorry for any typos hidden throughout the main post. I try to catch them as I go, but I will go back and read through for typos later.

@King Cole @The One Who Connects and the others

For the Geography/Terminology section, should I make it more like a glossary, where it's arranged alphabetically? Or should I split up where I list countries and regions and then another section for terms about the magic and stuff?

Go ahead and PM me. I'd love to hear more 

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  • 3 weeks later...

@Unodus @Hemalurgic_Headshot @The Flash @The One Who Connects @King Cole

Okay, sorry for the long wait on this, school got really busy with exams at the end, and there was lots of band events going on. I'll have a lot more time to work on this now that summer has started.

Anyway, I've been working on the map on/off for awhile now and I just spent the past few hours working on it nonstop. It's still not done, but it's getting there. I still have to add in most land features (like mountains, deserts, etc.), the key for the map, and names of places. And it's not all colored yet. But I like how it's turning out so far.

Spoilered for size:

Spoiler

https://ibb.co/fym9Av

Okay, it's being dumb. Every time I try to attach the picture, it makes it upside-down. When I upload the picture upside-down, it stays upside-down. So I just put in google drive and put the link here.

Oh, the Rim is outlined in sharpie, by the way.

Hey, tell me if the link doesn't work and I'll try another way. I think it should work, but just in case.

Edited by StrikerEZ
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6 hours ago, StrikerEZ said:

@Unodus @Hemalurgic_Headshot @The Flash @The One Who Connects @King Cole

Okay, sorry for the long wait on this, school got really busy with exams at the end, and there was lots of band events going on. I'll have a lot more time to work on this now that summer has started.

Anyway, I've been working on the map on/off for awhile now and I just spent the past few hours working on it nonstop. It's still not done, but it's getting there. I still have to add in most land features (like mountains, deserts, etc.), the key for the map, and names of places. And it's not all colored yet. But I like how it's turning out so far.

Spoilered for size:

  Hide contents

https://ibb.co/fym9Av

Okay, it's being dumb. Every time I try to attach the picture, it makes it upside-down. When I upload the picture upside-down, it stays upside-down. So I just put in google drive and put the link here.

Oh, the Rim is outlined in sharpie, by the way.

Hey, tell me if the link doesn't work and I'll try another way. I think it should work, but just in case.

It works. Very cool, very cool. 

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Just now, The Flash said:

It works. Very cool, very cool. 

Thanks! I'm really excited about this map, it's probably the most I've ever worked on a map for a world before, and I'm really liking how it's turning out.

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So-

Elemency, very thoroughly thought out. However, I feel like it would be both hard to explain and use in the novel setting. Perhaps cut down on powers, or have it revealed or discovered in bits and pieces so as to not overwhelm the audience.

History. makes a good prologue if summarized a bit more, and I'll be interested to learn how it affects the current story

That's all? I need more-

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14 minutes ago, Dragon314 said:

So-

Elemency, very thoroughly thought out. However, I feel like it would be both hard to explain and use in the novel setting. Perhaps cut down on powers, or have it revealed or discovered in bits and pieces so as to not overwhelm the audience.

History. makes a good prologue if summarized a bit more, and I'll be interested to learn how it affects the current story

That's all? I need more-

First, Elemancy. You're right, it's a lot to start a book off with. The thing is, this is how Elemancy actually works, but at the time of the book, Elemancy is misunderstood. I'm not sure if you read all the posts in the topic, but I mentioned how there are the Six Kingdoms; Fire, Water, Earth, Air, Light, and Darkness. The people of this world at this point in time believe that there are only 6 elemantic elements, with some sub-elements.

Yeah. I'm thinking more along the lines of a prelude, as I already have a prologue kind of planned out.

Dont worry, there'll be more, I just haven't had time to work on this very much.

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