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3 hours ago, A Budgie said:

Yeah, the magic system is more of a background magic system. In fact, it's only until after the murder is committed that you even find out it exists (although there are hints and inconsistencies).

Basically, in this world (which has fairly low-level technology) people have magic inside of them. Different parts of a person's body are more powerful than others, with things like blood, bones and organs being the most powerful. This magic is also inside animals of the region.
For the magic to be used, however, it has to accompanied by some emotion.
Because the magic is either new, or hasn't really been discovered (not completely sure which), it has manifested in strange ways, by people putting strong emotions into or while weilding objects containing body parts (wow that sounds dark).
One of the biggest ways this has manifested and effected their world has been through various forms of art.
Like music: many instruments were once made using body parts. Intestines were really common for strings, hair is used for bows, and bone is sometimes used for ornamentation. Put enough emotion into your music while playing, and things happen.

So yeah, this is what I've come up with for my world's magic...

I'm just imagining a serial killer incapable of empathy gutting people for their organs in order to feel something inside. I'd definitely read it. Lol

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2 hours ago, Tristan said:

I'm just imagining a serial killer incapable of empathy gutting people for their organs in order to feel something inside. I'd definitely read it. Lol

Hadn't thought about that...yeah, it could easily start something like that (although it would be far easier and cheaper to just get animal ones...)

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13 hours ago, A Budgie said:

Yeah, the magic system is more of a background magic system. In fact, it's only until after the murder is committed that you even find out it exists (although there are hints and inconsistencies).

Basically, in this world (which has fairly low-level technology) people have magic inside of them. Different parts of a person's body are more powerful than others, with things like blood, bones and organs being the most powerful. This magic is also inside animals of the region.
For the magic to be used, however, it has to accompanied by some emotion.
Because the magic is either new, or hasn't really been discovered (not completely sure which), it has manifested in strange ways, by people putting strong emotions into or while weilding objects containing body parts (wow that sounds dark).
One of the biggest ways this has manifested and effected their world has been through various forms of art.
Like music: many instruments were once made using body parts. Intestines were really common for strings, hair is used for bows, and bone is sometimes used for ornamentation. Put enough emotion into your music while playing, and things happen.

So yeah, this is what I've come up with for my world's magic...

Hm. For some reason I'm reminded of Bloodsealing, though I cannot see a relation *shrugs.

That's really cool! Why are bones powerful? Is there something in the marrow? And where did this magic come from?

10 hours ago, Tristan said:

I'm just imagining a serial killer incapable of empathy gutting people for their organs in order to feel something inside. I'd definitely read it. Lol

oh dear. oh deary, deary me that sounds interesting.

I for one made a magic system last night, called Songweaving.

Basically music is the genetic code of the universe, and people can manipulate it by playing music, singing, humming, whistling etc. But first you need to attune to the song of something, like the song of a star, or the song of a particular tree. This can only be found by special individuals who can sense the music that makes everything up, and then they can manipulate the music by "singing" to the particular thing they want to manipulate and like, coaxing it to grow or change.

Oh and I wrote a fair bit on the lore for the world last night here :ph34r:

Edited by Darkness Ascendant
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33 minutes ago, Darkness Ascendant said:

 

I for one made a magic system last night, called Songweaving.

Basically music is the genetic code of the universe, and people can manipulate it by playing music, singing, humming, whistling etc. But first you need to attune to the song of something, like the song of a star, or the song of a particular tree. This can only be found by special individuals who can sense the music that makes everything up, and then they can manipulate the music by "singing" to the particular thing they want to manipulate and like, coaxing it to grow or change.

Oh and I wrote a fair bit on the lore for the world last night here :ph34r:

I swear I had a dream about this a few years ago! I was listening to the tinkling song of dawn, and I ventured into the woods to find out where it was coming from and could hear songs of all the living things around me. Couldn't do anything with it in the dream, though. I'd like to hear more about this

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13 minutes ago, A Budgie said:

This seems to be so much better than the random stuff I come up with...I once came up with the idea of a horror story told from the perspective of an apple being eaten...

That...I think I would actually read that. That'd be amazing.

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Just now, StrikerEZ said:

That...I think I would actually read that. That'd be amazing.

Oh, I did end up writing it. I could probably post it on here I suppose.
It was really short though: I put it in a writing competition, so it was less than 500 words.

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Just now, A Budgie said:

Oh, I did end up writing it. I could probably post it on here I suppose.
It was really short though: I put it in a writing competition, so it was less than 500 words.

That's fine. It'd probably be boring if it were too long anyway.

And could you? I wanna read it.

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21 minutes ago, StrikerEZ said:

That's fine. It'd probably be boring if it were too long anyway.

And could you? I wanna read it.

Sure.

Manzani was alone, had been alone for a while.
And they were scared. It was understandable.
They had been chilling at home with Ibhanana, when…something took them. They hadn’t seen it coming, but one minute they had been just sitting there, the next they were being placed in a huge sack.
They were still in it now. It reeked of death and decay, and in the darkness strange and unseen things would bump against Manzani. In a way, they were glad they couldn’t see them, whatever they were.
As the sack was moved about, Manzani could hear strange noises, ones like they had never heard before. Light occasionally shone through holes in the material, but no matter how they strained they couldn’t see through them.
Where am I? They wondered. What’s happening to me?
Manzani asked many other questions as well, too many to list.
They had been in the sack for hours when suddenly the sack was opened. The light dazzled Manzani at first. Then the first impression tumbled into their mind.
Are they taking me out now? Am I being kidnapped? Will there be a ransom? Will I be safe?
Their questions were answered when something reached into the sack.
It was huge, and disgusting. Its claws were dirty and curled.
There was only a moment’s hesitation before it grabbed Manzani.
They screamed as they were lifted from the sack, all hopes of rescue and safety evaporating swiftly. The claws clutched them tightly, though, and no matter how they struggled they couldn’t break free. Couldn’t do anything but scream, unheard.
The claws raised them further and further, but by now their eyes were screwed tight. It was a good thing, too. They wouldn’t have liked to see what came next.
Manzani’s dying, blood-curdling scream pierced the air the moment their skin split, insides exposed to the air, vital fluids dripping down onto the claw beneath them.

“That was a nice apple,” said the boy, licking his lips. “A juicy one, too. It’s dripped all over my hand.”

(If you're wondering about the names, they mean apple and banana in google translate)

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3 hours ago, StrikerEZ said:

@A Budgie

That was awesome. And I recognized Manzani as apple. It looks a lot like manzana, which means apple in Spanish. What language are those names?

Thanks, and I can't remember. Probably latin, I think, but the banana one I used another language...

@Arraenae there are a whole bunch of 'offical' gender neutral pronouns, and I think the most common is ze.

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9 hours ago, Arraenae said:

What pronouns do you use when you want to refer to a character in gender neutral/unknown terms? I usually use the pronoun "they", but it's kind of clunky, since it can also refer to groups. 

This might be my limited experience talking, but every time that I've used it to be about one person, something else in the sentence makes it clear that it's singular, so I haven't had any clunkiness issues with "they."

Granted, if I can't tell who/what I'm talking about, then I deem the sentence to be too vague and make it more specific. Never considered that "they" could've been causing the vagueness, so I always changed something else...

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I'm writing a short story and have become concerned about the lack of female characters. I'm planning to introduce three later on, but I'm 7500 words in and there have been nearly no females. Is that an immediate turn off for reading if you're a female?

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13 minutes ago, Dragon314 said:

I'm writing a short story and have become concerned about the lack of female characters. I'm planning to introduce three later on, but I'm 7500 words in and there have been nearly no females. Is that an immediate turn off for reading if you're a female?

Not necessarily. I've definitely enjoyed books that had almost no female characters at all—Arwen and Eowyn get very little screen time compared to the male leads, and the trilogy is primarily about those male leads, but I believe that series' status as a classic is well deserved. It's a great story set in a fully realized world, populated by characters who feel real. And Tolkien's writing is gorgeous.

When it comes to adding in female characters, though, make sure the audience knows they belong in the story you're telling. Don't get me wrong, I am 112 percent for you adding more female characters to your story; and I absolutely don't think female characters have to have some big reason for being there. But don't make them window dressing or sycophants to the hero, either. Say you want to add a badchull female warrior. Great! I am all over that. But don't put her in the story just for the sake of saying you've added a female warrior. Let her win a battle on her own strength and skill. Or have her teach the hero a few moves that save his life later on. Or whatever fits your story best. Most importantly, let us get a sense of who she is as a person, both strengths and flaws, so she feels as well developed as the male characters. Because again, I love the fact that you want to add more female characters; and if I sound like I'm trying to discourage you from that, please know that it is absolutely unintentional. By all means, give your story female characters. Just be sure to make them interesting characters who happen to be female, rather than female characters who happen to be interesting. 

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On 4/15/2017 at 4:11 PM, A Budgie said:

Thanks, and I can't remember. Probably latin, I think, but the banana one I used another language...

@Arraenae there are a whole bunch of 'offical' gender neutral pronouns, and I think the most common is ze.

They're called Neopronouns @Arraenae

4 hours ago, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

Not necessarily. I've definitely enjoyed books that had almost no female characters at all—Arwen and Eowyn get very little screen time compared to the male leads, and the trilogy is primarily about those male leads, but I believe that series' status as a classic is well deserved. It's a great story set in a fully realized world, populated by characters who feel real. And Tolkien's writing is gorgeous.

When it comes to adding in female characters, though, make sure the audience knows they belong in the story you're telling. Don't get me wrong, I am 112 percent for you adding more female characters to your story; and I absolutely don't think female characters have to have some big reason for being there. But don't make them window dressing or sycophants to the hero, either. Say you want to add a badchull female warrior. Great! I am all over that. But don't put her in the story just for the sake of saying you've added a female warrior. Let her win a battle on her own strength and skill. Or have her teach the hero a few moves that save his life later on. Or whatever fits your story best. Most importantly, let us get a sense of who she is as a person, both strengths and flaws, so she feels as well developed as the male characters. Because again, I love the fact that you want to add more female characters; and if I sound like I'm trying to discourage you from that, please know that it is absolutely unintentional. By all means, give your story female characters. Just be sure to make them interesting characters who happen to be female, rather than female characters who happen to be interesting. 

*shudders Tooolkiieeen

What does the 12% ordain? :wacko:

Ditto Twi @Dragon314, Try to be aware of how your female roles are developing as to avoid any stereotyping . I find that...talking to your characters help...like, ask the character, how do you feel liking Metallica? etc...I'm a lonely guy XD

--------

I for one have been writing alot on Songweavers :D I'm transcribing what I have now...it's evolved so much it's wonderful, and I'm slowly explaining how everything came into the world.

I did some photography past two days and I'll share the pics soon.

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5 hours ago, Dragon314 said:

I'm writing a short story and have become concerned about the lack of female characters. I'm planning to introduce three later on, but I'm 7500 words in and there have been nearly no females. Is that an immediate turn off for reading if you're a female?

Depends on why for me. If there aren't many characters, and it seems more like a coincidence and less of an exclusion, that's okay. I myself wrote a short story where the two main characters were male, for no real reason other than I wanted the main character (a little boy) to have someone who would be closer to him.

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Thanks. There aren't really any other characters yet

6 hours ago, A Budgie said:

Depends on why for me. If there aren't many characters, and it seems more like a coincidence and less of an exclusion, that's okay. I myself wrote a short story where the two main characters were male, for no real reason other than I wanted the main character (a little boy) to have someone who would be closer to him.

 

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On 4/14/2017 at 7:56 AM, Darkness Ascendant said:

 

Basically music is the genetic code of the universe, and people can manipulate it by playing music, singing, humming, whistling etc. But first you need to attune to the song of something, like the song of a star, or the song of a particular tree. This can only be found by special individuals who can sense the music that makes everything up, and then they can manipulate the music by "singing" to the particular thing they want to manipulate and like, coaxing it to grow or change.

Oh and I wrote a fair bit on the lore for the world last night here :ph34r:  

 

The writing style reminds me of The Name of the Wind. Which was one of the best books I've ever read. You have my full fledged support!

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15 hours ago, Dragon314 said:

The writing style reminds me of The Name of the Wind. Which was one of the best books I've ever read. You have my full fledged support!

*cough* It's just the first iteration, by the end it'll be a Tolkien masterpiece :D 

Though I do find that interesting....I don't think I'm up to Rothfuss' standard...he's a master at his craft. 

Thank you so much!

(Though I suggest you refrain from double posting, It's looked down upon on the shard)

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12 hours ago, Tristan said:

What are your favorite character names? One of my main make characters is named Riven and I love it :) 

I secretly want to add a very minor female character named Tristan because I like my name... Lol

 

I really like how I'm going vowel-consonant-vowel as base words.  Then like, incorporating them into bigger words/places. Honestly don't know where this language is going >>

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On April 25, 2017 at 6:03 PM, Tristan said:

What are your favorite character names?

Mortmain, Vahr, and Wilkins.

Any advice for writing multiple viewpoints over a short period of time? I am working on a part where I am semi-hopping between different characters in order to show the reader what's going on. The characters are in different parts of a train, so I can't show the reader from a single viewpoint, but some of the events are happening semi-simultaneously and I feel like the flow would feel off if I kept rewinding to show things from a different perspective. On the other hand, some of these events are important to the overarching story, so I don't feel like I can skip them. Any suggestions? 

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38 minutes ago, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

Argh…has anyone else ever gotten to a big important scene they'd planned for a while, and then procrastinated the storms out of writing it? 

Heh... a lot of the time I don't even write enough to get to a big important scene. I have a lot of half-thought out ideas for large projects, but most of the time my motivation fizzles out by the end of the first few chapters. I usually end up sticking to smaller projects and jumping around a lot.

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