Assassin in Burgundy Posted January 9, 2017 Report Share Posted January 9, 2017 Hey, so recently I realized there's not a specific place for just questions. So this thread is just for questions that don't really fall into the good/bad news/relationship thread. As of this week, something just kinda happened. I'm not sure what, but suddenly I'm a lot more focused and motivated. I've suddenly decided to try and go to a really good private school, I've started trying to learn more about everything, and just generally doing stuff with my life, even though I'm only 13. The downside to this is that I've become a lot less emotional, as in not having emotions at all, and kind of withdrawing from human contact. So, what's your honest opinion on all of this? Is continuing to be academically supercharged worth the social drawbacks it causes? Thanks, AiB. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A Budgie Posted January 9, 2017 Report Share Posted January 9, 2017 Well, as someone who goes to a smart school (but not private, just 'acedemically selective'), I know about some of this stuff. If you want to become more focused on learning, and drop social things, that's fine. I used to do Scouts (please note, American people, that here in Australia Scouts is open for both boys and girls), but dropped it as I had to do stuff at school, and homework, etc. You may want to be careful if you devote too much of your time to working, however. Don't withdraw totally from human contact. I consider that it's worth it to be acedemically better, but that's just my choice. Others may disagree with me. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bugsy Posted January 9, 2017 Report Share Posted January 9, 2017 Hey! My 2 cents is that these 2 things, while possibly correlated, aren't necessarily part of a causal system. It could be that there's a common cause for each, but you can still embrace the benifits while still trying to fix the more negative ramifications. It doesn't have to be a package deal. That said, you really have to make the choice about which path you think you'll like best. I've faced many similar things, and while I feel confident my choice was the right one for me, there are days I regret it. I don't want to force my situation on you, so I won't specify what I did, but know that it's not going to get easier without putting effort into it, whichever path you take 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manukos Posted January 9, 2017 Report Share Posted January 9, 2017 yey more emotionless people yey i am not alone ... in all seriousness i've been like that for the past two years following my existential crisis after a certain "thing" that happened with me and a friend .( it is not like i am competely detached i just enjoy not interacting or thinking about others and i do still go out with friends). it is not bad to set a goal and try to succeed , nor is it a bad thing to set priorities espesialy if it concerns studying in order to have a better future . But it is also important to not get so consumed by your studies , to the point that you dont have any friends , don't burn bridges when there is no reason . a healthy balance is something that you will have to figure out and no one but yourself can do it , weigh what is precius to you and set the scales accordingly . Just know that there is nothing wrong with being reclusive or focused . 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverblade5 Posted January 9, 2017 Report Share Posted January 9, 2017 Basically, avoid looking like this, and you should be fine 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Assassin in Burgundy Posted January 9, 2017 Author Report Share Posted January 9, 2017 @A Budgie @Bugsy6912 @Manukos Thanks. This would probably have been the path that I chose anyway, but it's nice to have confirmation. Manukos, you're an INTJ, right? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manukos Posted January 9, 2017 Report Share Posted January 9, 2017 20 minutes ago, Assassin in Burgundy said: @A Budgie @Bugsy6912 @Manukos Thanks. This would probably have been the path that I chose anyway, but it's nice to have confirmation. Manukos, you're an INTJ, right? Yup Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Assassin in Burgundy Posted January 9, 2017 Author Report Share Posted January 9, 2017 3 minutes ago, Manukos said: Yup Are you super emotionless also? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manukos Posted January 9, 2017 Report Share Posted January 9, 2017 Kind of , my emotional state changes difficultly , and i rarely get excited above a certain threshold (which is kinda low) And i almost never get upset disturbed or angry , but i do have an underlining gloominess . but apart from tha i am fine ! I used to be quite pesimistic and also used to be obsesed with nietzsche and generaly non optimistic philosophy but i now think that i am more realistic and passive Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Assassin in Burgundy Posted January 9, 2017 Author Report Share Posted January 9, 2017 39 minutes ago, Manukos said: Kind of , my emotional state changes difficultly , and i rarely get excited above a certain threshold (which is kinda low) And i almost never get upset disturbed or angry , but i do have an underlining gloominess . but apart from tha i am fine ! I used to be quite pesimistic and also used to be obsesed with nietzsche and generaly non optimistic philosophy but i now think that i am more realistic and passive Oh wow. Like exact same tbh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soyperson Posted January 9, 2017 Report Share Posted January 9, 2017 (edited) See, like, I'm an ENFP. I love people. I love the experience of high school. I find it thrilling. I love meeting people, and talking to people, and connecting on an intrapersonal, emotional level. I often learn best by synergy. But it may not be the best for you, so you need to do what is best for you. Edited January 9, 2017 by bleeder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mestiv Posted January 9, 2017 Report Share Posted January 9, 2017 12 hours ago, Assassin in Burgundy said: As of this week, something just kinda happened. I'm not sure what My guess: puberty Apart from that, what everyone else said. You need to find some balance between social and academic etc. And don't be surprised if your current "super focus" will be replaced by "constantly distracted" in a month or two... Hormones can be funny 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soyperson Posted January 9, 2017 Report Share Posted January 9, 2017 1 minute ago, Mestiv said: My guess: puberty Apart from that, what everyone else said. You need to find some balance between social and academic etc. And don't be surprised if your current "super focus" will be replaced by "constantly distracted" in a month or two... Hormones can be funny No kidding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hemalurgic Headshot Posted January 9, 2017 Report Share Posted January 9, 2017 If an individual withdraws from human interaction, a variety of things will occur. Usually, this individual will simply devote the time that would normally be spent interacting with others to another task. Sometimes this is academics. With academic-devotion, the individual begins filling his/her mind with random facts and becomes an encyclopedia. This is not a bad thing, and can be beneficial for grades, but makes the individual socially awkward. Other times, this extra time is spent on gaming. With gaming-devotion, the individual spends excessive amounts of time gaming. Side effects can include social awkwardness, obesity from excessive snacking, and other things. Yet again, this time can be spent reading books. Book-devotion is the best way to read all of Brandon Sanderson's books in a week. Most often though, if an individual withdraws from society, then social awkwardness will result. My advice: interact with other people. Make a group of friends and do stuff together. Social awkwardness applies to friendships too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erunion Posted January 9, 2017 Report Share Posted January 9, 2017 (edited) Withdrawing to focus is not in itself bad, but you must remember this. Humans are wired as social animals (yes, even us Introverts). In order to be healthy, you need social interaction. It doesn't have to be a lot. It doesn't have to be with a lot of people. But you need some. Try to find a few people who you can get along with. Spend time with them. Doesn't need to be a lot, but it needs to be some or you will become very emotionally unhealthy. Yes, devoting yourself to academia is a noble cause. But if you're not socially adjusted and a decent communicator? Then you will almost certainly be ineffective in your chosen field. Almost everything you do requires some level of social interaction in order to be effective. Tesla was one of the greatest minds of the the past 150 years, but he died a recluse, without making nearly the impact he could have if he'd had better resources, and friends he could trust. Louis Pasteur was another of the truly great minds of these past two centuries. He devoted himself to science and academia, but made sure to make a little bit of time for himself, and for people. His friends, allies (and wife!) supported him throughout all his work, so much so that Emperor Napoleon the Third personally ensured that he was given a sufficient laboratory. Louis Pasteur is why we have modern medicine. His germ theory of disease (absolutely revolutionary!), his rejection of spontaneous generation, and his development of vaccination all were key to our modern medical sciences. (Accuracy note: technically Pasteur merely expanded vaccination. The technique had been developed to prevent smallpox, but had only been used against smallpox. Louis Pasteur expanded it to other diseases. His vaccines for Anthrax and Rabies were truly revolutionary, and paved the way for modern vaccination which has defeated dozens of diseases that had incredible death tolls). Long story short? It's fine to be an academic. It's ok to withdraw from lots of social interaction. But do not make yourself into a recluse! Not if you want to do anything with your life! Balance is where it's at, people Edited January 9, 2017 by Erunion Clarity, last line 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jedal Posted January 9, 2017 Report Share Posted January 9, 2017 14 hours ago, Assassin in Burgundy said: Hey, so recently I realized there's not a specific place for just questions. So this thread is just for questions that don't really fall into the good/bad news/relationship thread. As of this week, something just kinda happened. I'm not sure what, but suddenly I'm a lot more focused and motivated. I've suddenly decided to try and go to a really good private school, I've started trying to learn more about everything, and just generally doing stuff with my life, even though I'm only 13. The downside to this is that I've become a lot less emotional, as in not having emotions at all, and kind of withdrawing from human contact. So, what's your honest opinion on all of this? Is continuing to be academically supercharged worth the social drawbacks it causes? Thanks, AiB. This happens to me a lot, but mostly because I'm INFP. Depending on how I see the world on a certain day, my view could change. And while I'm farther into puberty than you, I still have trouble dealing with my emotions, especially when I go through an argument. I funnel all of my emotions into anger, and I become cold and empty otherwise. My personality leads me to see the world in start contrast, with either everything being amazing and bright or dark and deadly. Most likely, you will be fine, as long as you find a way to reconnect with your emotions either through an activity or friendship. 56 minutes ago, Erunion said: Withdrawing to focus is not in itself bad, but you must remember this. Humans are wired as social animals (yes, even us Introverts). In order to be healthy, you need social interaction. It doesn't have to be a lot. It doesn't have to be with a lot of people. But you need some. I have to disagree with this. There are many people(my father included) who actually find far more joy in being alone. Some people find the quiet and the loneliness to be fulfilling. I'm one of those people who can interact, but I rarely show my true self. It just seems too tiring to be who I really am. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erunion Posted January 9, 2017 Report Share Posted January 9, 2017 10 minutes ago, Jedal said: I have to disagree with this. There are many people(my father included) who actually find far more joy in being alone. Some people find the quiet and the loneliness to be fulfilling. I'm one of those people who can interact, but I rarely show my true self. It just seems too tiring to be who I really am. You misunderstand me! I love quiet. I love stillness. I love being alone. But I'm assuming you have a mother. I'm also assuming that your father spends time with you and the other members of your family. That's social interaction. That's healthy, important social interaction. That's what people need. (It's good to also have close friends outside your immediate family, as an INFP/INTP I say this as well! But you need a minimum of social interaction to be healthy. The amount you need depends on your personality.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jedal Posted January 9, 2017 Report Share Posted January 9, 2017 25 minutes ago, Erunion said: You misunderstand me! I love quiet. I love stillness. I love being alone. But I'm assuming you have a mother. I'm also assuming that your father spends time with you and the other members of your family. That's social interaction. That's healthy, important social interaction. That's what people need. (It's good to also have close friends outside your immediate family, as an INFP/INTP I say this as well! But you need a minimum of social interaction to be healthy. The amount you need depends on your personality.) Trust me when I tell you that I have many friends outside of my immediate family. My father does not, however. He attempts to spend as little time with his family as he can, shutting us out regularly. It's pretty rough, but I've gotten used to it. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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