Khyrindor Posted September 17, 2017 Report Share Posted September 17, 2017 As I suspected, someone's been adding dirt to my garden. The plot thickens... 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caesura Posted September 17, 2017 Report Share Posted September 17, 2017 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jondesu Posted October 5, 2017 Report Share Posted October 5, 2017 Unbidden, this pops into my mind: Make like a Herdazian and be gon! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunbird Posted October 24, 2017 Report Share Posted October 24, 2017 I know our resident math enthusiasts @Chaos and @Darkness_ will enjoy this. 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkness Ascendant Posted October 24, 2017 Report Share Posted October 24, 2017 Ha, I enjoyed it. But on another tangent. ME? A MATH ENTHUSIAST? GO STUFF YOURSELF @Sunchicken 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunbird Posted October 24, 2017 Report Share Posted October 24, 2017 2 minutes ago, Darkness_ said: Ha, I enjoyed it. But on another tangent. ME? A MATH ENTHUSIAST? GO STUFF YOURSELF @Sunchicken Hey, all's I know is you were offering to help someone with their Calc homework in another thread or the Discord. Also, stuffing myself may result in a turducken. o.0 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkness Ascendant Posted October 24, 2017 Report Share Posted October 24, 2017 4 minutes ago, Sunchicken said: Hey, all's I know is you were offering to help someone with their Calc homework in another thread or the Discord. Also, stuffing myself may result in a turducken. o.0 I had no idea it was Calc homework. @SteeldancerBTW don't ask me for help on Calc. And a turducken would make a good turban. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GeneralHZRD Posted October 24, 2017 Report Share Posted October 24, 2017 Don't play poker with a master of origami, they're always folding. Someone once showed me a whiteboard, it's remarkable. I'm going to start a business selling prosthetic tails, it'll be a retail store. I was fishing once and making fish puns at the same time, I felt like I was floundering. I think that last pun fell flat. (Yay for obscure fishing puns!) Last one, this is a long one... A man is walking home alone late one foggy Halloween night, when behind him he hears: BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him. BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him. FASTER... FASTER... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP.... He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him. However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping. clappity-BUMP...clappity-BUMP... clappity-BUMP... on his heels, as the terrified man runs. Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, he locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps. With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door. Bumping and clapping toward him. The man screams and reaches for something, anything...All he can find is a bottle of cough syrup! Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the coffin ......and...just like that,...the coffin stops. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Invested Beard Posted October 27, 2017 Report Share Posted October 27, 2017 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shqueeves Posted October 29, 2017 Report Share Posted October 29, 2017 On 10/24/2017 at 0:47 AM, Sunchicken said: I know our resident math enthusiasts @Chaos and @Darkness_ will enjoy this. This is beautiful. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Draginon Posted October 29, 2017 Report Share Posted October 29, 2017 Here's one that my mom thought was actually funny. Two of her tires needed to get repaired. One got nailed, the other screwed. In other words she has a hooker car ... I'll see myself out. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thegatorgirl00 Posted November 2, 2017 Report Share Posted November 2, 2017 I'm taking accounting this year. It really is accrual class. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Invested Beard Posted November 2, 2017 Report Share Posted November 2, 2017 2 hours ago, thegatorgirl00 said: I'm taking accounting this year. It really is accrual class. Figures. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunbird Posted November 2, 2017 Report Share Posted November 2, 2017 May I introduce... KYLO WREN: 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunbird Posted November 9, 2017 Report Share Posted November 9, 2017 I hope it's okay for me to double post since it's been almost a week since there was any activity in this thread... Someone posted this in one of my Facebook groups: An English landlady was dating 2 of her tenants, both of them playwrights. She could not determine which of them to marry; so she decided to let fate decide. She baked 5 of her famous flat wheatcakes but put poison in one of them. She would marry the survivor. However, the two playwrights twisted fate when they split the last one, the poisoned one, between them.... The police arrested her for killing two bards with one scone. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 10, 2017 Report Share Posted November 10, 2017 How does Odium like his meat? Braized. I'll take my leave now. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Extesian Posted November 10, 2017 Report Share Posted November 10, 2017 11 minutes ago, SLNC said: How does Odium like his meat? Braized. I'll take my leave now. How does shallan like her meat? Mraized. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 10, 2017 Report Share Posted November 10, 2017 7 minutes ago, Extesian said: How does shallan like her meat? Mraized. Phrasing... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Invested Beard Posted November 10, 2017 Report Share Posted November 10, 2017 A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, 'First offender?' She says, 'No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Draginon Posted November 12, 2017 Report Share Posted November 12, 2017 Because of all his lounging Lightsong shall henceforth be known as Heavysong. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allomancy Posted November 22, 2017 Report Share Posted November 22, 2017 If you take off a mask then you have defaced yourself. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunbird Posted November 29, 2017 Report Share Posted November 29, 2017 Got this one from a friend. Q: What do you call a small, quick bird that makes clothes for other birds? A: A Tailor Swift! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkness Ascendant Posted November 30, 2017 Report Share Posted November 30, 2017 On 29/11/2017 at 5:03 PM, Ookla the Ornithophilic said: Got this one from a friend. Q: What do you call a small, quick bird that makes clothes for other birds? A: A Tailor Swift! I know where you got that 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mulk Posted November 30, 2017 Report Share Posted November 30, 2017 I took my oldest son with me to get a buffalo burger. You get your choice of cheese and toppings, so I asked him what kind of cheese he wanted. (sidebar - he's autistic and doesn't always like to speak for himself or place his own order) He said he wanted cheddar, cause it's cheddar that way. I grinned like I was the one who made the pun. Yep, this is my son. He's know for them at his high school. It's hilarious and awesome. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverblade5 Posted November 30, 2017 Report Share Posted November 30, 2017 35 minutes ago, Ookla the Mulkfather said: I took my oldest son with me to get a buffalo burger. You get your choice of cheese and toppings, so I asked him what kind of cheese he wanted. (sidebar - he's autistic and doesn't always like to speak for himself or place his own order) He said he wanted cheddar, cause it's cheddar that way. I grinned like I was the one who made the pun. Yep, this is my son. He's know for them at his high school. It's hilarious and awesome. Cheddar make it better ! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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