Sunbird Posted October 22, 2016 Report Share Posted October 22, 2016 5 hours ago, Jondesu said: What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair. That's simultaneously awful and hilarious. XD Q: Why do Sam and Dean always beat the bad guy? A: Because they're the WIN-chester brothers, not the LOSE-chesters. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkness Ascendant Posted October 22, 2016 Report Share Posted October 22, 2016 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queen Elsa Steelheart Posted October 23, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 23, 2016 Queen Elsa is a bit cold hearted. She likes to give people the cold shoulder 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThirdGen Posted October 23, 2016 Report Share Posted October 23, 2016 Doctor: If you crack one more pun in the next 24 hours, you'll die. Me: Okay, I can be patient. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunbird Posted October 23, 2016 Report Share Posted October 23, 2016 (edited) Oh, storms. I didn't make this one up, but it's too good not to share. Edited to add: if you don't get this pun, I pity your inadequate education in classic rock music and insist that you watch this video: Edited October 23, 2016 by Sunbird 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistrunner Posted October 23, 2016 Report Share Posted October 23, 2016 My friend's addicted to brake fluid. He can stop anytime. And my personal favorite: Why couldn't Beethoven find his music teacher? Because he was Haydn! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Slowswift Posted October 23, 2016 Report Share Posted October 23, 2016 50 minutes ago, Mistrunner said: My friend's addicted to brake fluid. He can stop anytime. And my personal favorite: Why couldn't Beethoven find his music teacher? Because he was Haydn! I'm rather partial to "What was Beethoven's favorite fruit? BA-NA-NA-NAS!" myself. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkness Ascendant Posted October 24, 2016 Report Share Posted October 24, 2016 Give light, and the darkness will disappear of itself.-- Erasmus I just noticed this @Slowswift And I couldn't disagree more. Claustrophobic people are more productive when thinking outside of the box. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voidus Posted October 24, 2016 Report Share Posted October 24, 2016 What do you call a cold contracted from a small finned pinniped and volcanic dust? Pneumonoultramicroscopicsealicovolcaniconiosis. As you can tell I'm absolutely hillarious at parties. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soyperson Posted October 24, 2016 Report Share Posted October 24, 2016 1 minute ago, Voidus said: What do you call a cold contracted from a small finned pinniped and volcanic dust? Pneumonoultramicroscopicsealicovolcaniconiosis. As you can tell I'm absolutely hillarious at parties. Voidus, it's 6:45 AM and I'm laughing so hard I think I just cried a little. It's time to stop. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DreamLord_Erith Posted October 24, 2016 Report Share Posted October 24, 2016 Man these puns keep getting cornia and cornia 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverblade5 Posted October 24, 2016 Report Share Posted October 24, 2016 7 minutes ago, DreamLord_Erith said: Man these puns keep getting cornia and cornia I know, they're so amaizing 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DreamLord_Erith Posted October 24, 2016 Report Share Posted October 24, 2016 On 10/22/2016 at 3:08 AM, Dankness Ascendant said: At least this is the only Aqueous humour. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eki Posted October 27, 2016 Report Share Posted October 27, 2016 Assuming everyone is average is a mean thing to do. 14 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soyperson Posted October 27, 2016 Report Share Posted October 27, 2016 7 minutes ago, Eki said: Assuming everyone is average is a mean thing to do. I got it! It took me a minute, but I got it! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkness Ascendant Posted October 28, 2016 Report Share Posted October 28, 2016 17 hours ago, bleeder said: I got it! It took me a minute, but I got it! a minute? heh. My first job was working in an orange juice fatory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverblade5 Posted November 4, 2016 Report Share Posted November 4, 2016 Warning: Swearing 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elenion Posted November 5, 2016 Report Share Posted November 5, 2016 On 10/20/2016 at 9:13 PM, Nightbird said: A flock of migrating shorebirds landed in a field of marijuana to rest for a while. Before long, there was no tern left unstoned. I'm stealing this one next time I get into a pun war. I'm still laughing. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WayneSpren Posted November 5, 2016 Report Share Posted November 5, 2016 (edited) Today on fox news, we have a stupid person claiming that “stupid people are a hoax!” We tried to explain the irony to him, but he said he hasn’t killed any elephants since ‘99. Edited November 5, 2016 by WayneSpren 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunbird Posted November 5, 2016 Report Share Posted November 5, 2016 Q: What do you call a pair of crows? A: Attempted murder. (I told this joke in one of my classes on Thursday and all I got was blank looks...) 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkness Ascendant Posted November 6, 2016 Report Share Posted November 6, 2016 2 hours ago, Nightbird said: Q: What do you call a pair of crows? A: Attempted murder. (I told this joke in one of my classes on Thursday and all I got was blank looks...) dw I get it, a murder of crows, yes, very funny. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunbird Posted November 6, 2016 Report Share Posted November 6, 2016 2 hours ago, Darkness Ascendant said: dw I get it, a murder of crows, yes, very funny. At least somebody gets it! XD Q: Why don't clams have any friends? A: Because they're all shellfish. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkness Ascendant Posted November 6, 2016 Report Share Posted November 6, 2016 17 minutes ago, Nightbird said: Q: Why don't clams have any friends? A: Because they're all shellfish. That deserves to be in the Bad Jokes thread. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voidus Posted November 6, 2016 Report Share Posted November 6, 2016 Why did the man try to shove jam into an open door? Because someone told him it was ajar. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunbird Posted November 6, 2016 Report Share Posted November 6, 2016 26 minutes ago, Voidus said: Why did the man try to shove jam into an open door? Because someone told him it was ajar. Oh man, you just reminded me of this: 15 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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