kais Posted November 8, 2016 Report Share Posted November 8, 2016 I agree in that I would not expect anyone to critique that didn't sub that week. Some of us do, some of us dont't, and that's fine either way. Its just been getting a little... sparse. And last week I'd have not had any crits if some of the people who didn't sub hadn't jumped in. That's kind of a crappy place to be, mentally. You get to do a lot of 'is it me?' 'is my story just bad?' 'Maybe I talk about uncomfortable issues too much'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robinski Posted November 9, 2016 Report Share Posted November 9, 2016 (edited) 14 hours ago, kaisa said: You get to do a lot of 'is it me?' 'is my story just bad?' 'Maybe I talk about uncomfortable issues too much' 4 hours ago, Ernei said: Oh, don't worry so much! Out of all people here, you are getting published, you know? Lol - yeah, @kaisa, you're getting published, after which YOU CAN'T CHANGE ANYTHING That must be a special kind of hell all on its own. Edited November 9, 2016 by Robinski 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neongrey Posted November 9, 2016 Report Share Posted November 9, 2016 Yeah, I only crit when I sub (shooting for next week woo)-- I just do not have the time to do it when I don't, and even when I do, these days I end up not being able to get through every single one. And while I mean I of all people am not going to give anyone guff for choosing not to crit something for any given reason, I've noticed this going on a lot too, beyond just not being able to fit something in, or having chosen to leave off on a piece. The thing that keeps crit groups alive is people not, effectively, freeloading. And really, if you're not willing to say something substantive about someone's work, why in the world should you expect the same? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vreeah Posted November 9, 2016 Report Share Posted November 9, 2016 On that note, it's time I get back on the writing and critiquing horse. I think I've spent long enough being burnt-out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aeromancer Posted November 9, 2016 Report Share Posted November 9, 2016 If everyone's feeling helpful, I could use a bit of help with storytelling. Essentially, the story I want to tell is a pretty simple short story, two characters (set A), a conflict, resolution. What I want to do is something a bit complex – I want to tell through a third person perspective of two different characters (set B). The way I envision it I that one of the characters in set B is looking for one of the set A characters, and the story is told by this set B character finding clues to what happen, and then a flash to the events which led to the clue. (One of the set B characters can read the history of objects by touching them). What I’m asking if anyone has encountered this style before, or if anyone can offer advice on how to do this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neongrey Posted November 9, 2016 Report Share Posted November 9, 2016 I think Blade of Tyshalle by Matthew Stover might have had a bit of that-- not from objects but about people. Otherwise it feels fairly familiar conceptually-- a bit more common in things like TV or film, I think, since that's a bit better suited to fast cuts like that. Technically this feels pretty simple; establish the character has these flashes, note one's coming on, make your cut to the other pov, do the scene, cut back. I would actually probably colour this a lot from the viewing character's impressions, since it's getting fed through another set of eyes on top of that. If I were feeling fancy I would do these flashes in a different tense from the main narration. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aeromancer Posted November 9, 2016 Report Share Posted November 9, 2016 Its not flashes, per say. More specifically, in set B, there are two characters (they're actually siblings). One of them is seeking out the set A characters. The other set B character is the one who can 'read objects'. The story is meant to be told partially through these readings, and partially through this set B character talking to the other one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neongrey Posted November 9, 2016 Report Share Posted November 9, 2016 I don't think my suggestion would change in that circumstance; the reading can be handled by establishing that's what's going on and doing your scene cuts. But see what flows for you, I guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aeromancer Posted November 9, 2016 Report Share Posted November 9, 2016 (edited) Your suggestions are helpful, I just wanted to clarify for the other people who are going to comment. (cricket cricket) Other people's comments? Please? Edited November 9, 2016 by aeromancer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vreeah Posted November 9, 2016 Report Share Posted November 9, 2016 Hm, first thought that comes to mind is the modern BBC Sherlock Holmes series. Other television shows, as well. I especially like bits of story on television where what is shown on screen is the scene that a narrator is describing, while the narrator is in a scene of their own. I believe there's a common theme of how Sherlock reacts to clues. He would tell or envision what happened for that clue to exist, and the story gets its best sparks of additional conflict when he's off about something. How things are resolved as they discover more of the pure truth tends to be the most fun parts to watch. So if I had to speculate, I'd guess the basic outline would unfold sort of like what I've got spoilered below. I loaded it with some details and tropes. Hopefully some will be of use to you as your ponder and build your story. Spoiler Melissa, Greggory, Eliza, and Rory have discovered a horrible conspiracy revealed by Melissa's clairvoyance. They put a plan together to oppose the conspiracy that's happening in a distant nation, but the plan requires the team to gather a set of dangerous elements that Rory can use. Greggory successfully collects one of the elements, but is injured when doing so. He is unable to continue onward. Melissa and Rory take on the responsibility of fulfilling the mission on their own. Eliza stays to care for Greggory, possibly because she has an ability that might help Greggory recover faster. When Greggory recovers, he and Eliza follow the planned route in order to catch up to Melissa and Rory. Greggory uses his history observation power to trace the steps taken. Greggory goes to the entryway of the town they all planned to visit, sees Melissa and Rory passing through, and then sees them leaving after using his power on the gateway they left from. He tries to do the same for the next town that was planned for their journey, but then is distressed when he spends the whole day not being able to find his friends. Greggory and Rory search the road between the two towns, looking for what caused the plans to change. He finds the scene of a battle, where a shattered knife is on the ground, and observes the history of the knife. It turns out that Melissa and Rory weren't at the scene of the battle, but Greggory gets a glimpse of them as the bandit who owned the knife passed Melissa and Rory by the road. He retraces the bandit's steps until he finds Melissa and Rory's footprints, which were on a different road for some reason. Greggory and Eliza find a town that Melissa and Rory went to, and are provided with stories of how Melissa and Rory used their special elements to save the town from a disaster. Eliza uses her power to patch up one last thing that was missed when Melissa and Rory passed through. Knowing that a new route was being taken, Greggory and Eliza follow along. A campsite is discovered, where Greggory reads a history of Melissa and Rory enjoying themselves. He and Eliza shake their heads at the jokes Melissa and Rory crack when they're alone. At some point, while following the new route, Greggory and Eliza discover a item on the ground that belonged to Rory. It's an important item, not an element, but a personal charm that Rory would never dare to lose. Greggory reads the history to see how Melissa and Rory were surrounded and taken away. Now seeing the friends in danger, Greggory and Eliza now rush along, desperately chasing the trail. Greggory reads the history of every stone they pass, chasing and thinking the worst. Having revealed their possession of the elements back at the town, Melissa and Rory painted a target on their backs, and now this was the consequence. Thankfully, at some point, Greggory sees that Melissa and Rory defeat the captors and escape. The captors are left behind. Greggory and Eliza relax. But, upon reading the last history. Greggory sees the discussion the captors had afterwards. Before Melissa and Rory escaped and stole the elements back, one of the captors sabotaged the element in a subtle yet vital way. The race renews. Greggory and Eliza must reach the source of the conspiracy before the elements fail. Greggory and Eliza arrive in the middle of the climax against the conspiracy. They are locked out from the final stage, but thankfully Melissa's clairvoyance lets her know that her two friends have arrived. She dodges a deadly situation and successfully opens the pathway for Greggory and Eliza to enter. Eliza uses her power to heal Rory from the fatal wound inflicted upon her when the elements failed. Greggory then undoes the sabotage on the elements, and then Rory succeeds in using the elements to overcome the conspiracy. Epilogue, Rory's valuable item is returned, and the four move along to new adventures. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neongrey Posted November 9, 2016 Report Share Posted November 9, 2016 No worries~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aeromancer Posted November 9, 2016 Report Share Posted November 9, 2016 Something like what @Vreeah said, except set B will not catch up, and I have no compulsion against killing characters. (Not saying anything else) Thanks, this is actually pretty helpful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagle of the Forest Path Posted November 10, 2016 Report Share Posted November 10, 2016 @aeromancer, Have you ever read the manga "Psychometrer Eiji" (or the reboot "Psychometrer")? Character B-1's powers are the same, so it might give you some inspiration. The manga is about solving crimes, though, so that's completely different. Your story idea sounds interesting, I'd love to read it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neongrey Posted November 10, 2016 Report Share Posted November 10, 2016 Ugh, I'm gonna work on this short I had a brief idea for. For some reason I'm not feeling cynical political fantasy this second. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kais Posted November 11, 2016 Report Share Posted November 11, 2016 I'm here if you need to talk @neongrey, or anyone else for that matter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neongrey Posted November 11, 2016 Report Share Posted November 11, 2016 I'll be okay. Canada turns it from being in a train wreck to just watching it. So yeah. I've just had to be that person who's there for a lot of friends and a few relative strangers lately and as you can imagine I'm not super cut out for that so it's... kind of wearing and hard to process. I'll deal. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kais Posted November 11, 2016 Report Share Posted November 11, 2016 @Robinski, @Mandamon, and others who may be lurking who have been here longer than I - we've not seen or heard from @Silk in a few weeks. I can run the subs thread but we need some way to get newbies on the list serve and to edit the pinned post with how to get on it (since sending e-mails to Silk won't work right now). Do any of you know which admin we could contact? There's also the possibility that Silk is the only one running the list, at which point I don't know what to suggest. Any thoughts? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandamon Posted November 11, 2016 Report Share Posted November 11, 2016 @kaisa: I think @Silk is the only one with the email list. Not sure what's going on. @Chaos may be able to help out, though. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vreeah Posted November 11, 2016 Report Share Posted November 11, 2016 While we don't have access, though, one of us can automatically forward monday's incoming submission emails to the email addresses of the newbies. A temporary solution until we have access again or reset the system. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neongrey Posted November 11, 2016 Report Share Posted November 11, 2016 Could also set up something through mailchimp or something in the interim too, but that would require everyone signing themselves up again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kais Posted November 11, 2016 Report Share Posted November 11, 2016 45 minutes ago, Vreeah said: While we don't have access, though, one of us can automatically forward monday's incoming submission emails to the email addresses of the newbies. A temporary solution until we have access again or reset the system. The issue is that we don't know the newbies unless they intro themselves. The files say to DM silk and wait to be added to the list. IF YOU ARE OUT THERE, NEWBIES, DM ME! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vreeah Posted November 11, 2016 Report Share Posted November 11, 2016 18 minutes ago, kaisa said: The issue is that we don't know the newbies unless they intro themselves. The files say to DM silk and wait to be added to the list. IF YOU ARE OUT THERE, NEWBIES, DM ME! Oh shoot, good point. Yeah we need a signal fire. Or a stickied thread. A signal thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neongrey Posted November 11, 2016 Report Share Posted November 11, 2016 If we need to change procedure it should be possible to get a hold of a mod to edit posts that need to be edited, that much shouldn't be an issue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chaos Posted November 12, 2016 Report Share Posted November 12, 2016 Hey guys thanks for letting me know about Silk. I'm going to try and contact her and if I don't hear from her I'll promote someone to be mod of this forum to manage it. I don't really have much skin in the game here so I don't know the mechanics of the email list, or who is especially active for this role. I'll need to investigate. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kais Posted November 15, 2016 Report Share Posted November 15, 2016 @Robinski since we chatted about this a while back... capitalization edits are apparently part of round two editorial edits. So much. So, so much. Pro tip for everyone: don't be editing two books in a series while writing another in that series. The timelines in my head are all jumbly. o_O 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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