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Having a Bad Day?: Get 'yer Hugs here!!


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6 hours ago, little wilson said:

Now, the issue going on is a problem, but it's a problem because they gave me literally no training or resources to do this part of the job, and I've been mentioning it in every weekly update for the past two months. And they've done nothing. I've tried to fix it myself, but my attempts have failed for a variety of reasons, and now they're saying I should've been more proactive.

Do you maybe have some emails in which you tell them about your problems? You could throw them in their faces then... I hope your life will settle down as soon as possible <hugs>

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Gosh I am so stressed out right now. 

And I don't even know why. I shouldn't be stressed. I'm on break. I've been spending time with my cousins. I'm currently eating good food. Maybe it's work, but I like work. 

So, basically, I'm stressed out for no reason at all. 

*suddenly remembers something he forgot to do*

But besides that, i just don't get it. I'm rereading OB, and usually reading helps me release stress. Again, maybe it's that I have work in a few minutes. 

Idk. 

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Some might see what follows as immature. Oh well. I need to vent, and I'm past caring, so I'm going to say it anyways.

Normally, I work well with my coworkers. We communicate clearly, joke around and laugh, and everything is fine. There is this one coworker however, where this is not the case. For sake of identification, we shall refer to her as Lily. When I work with Lily, I tend to be relegated to the most basic of tasks. When I try to do anything else, she'll either act like I'm not there, or go "it's OK, I've got this" even when she clearly doesn't, and shoo me back to where I was previously. It's disrespectful, and it's patronizing. She treats me as if I'm a new hire, even though I've worked there four months longer than she has. I suspect this is because she sees herself as a good responsible adult, and me as a teenager with no clue what's going on. I can't talk to the manager about her because she's a long time friend of hers. I can't talk to her about it because I'll be called out for fighting with coworkers instead of getting work done.

TL;DR: Patronizing coworker makes me feel intimidated and powerless.

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1 hour ago, Ookla the Dragon said:

TL;DR: Patronizing coworker makes me feel intimidated and powerless.

You should perhaps engage them in discussion generally, get to know them etc, might be difficult at the start, but they will respond.

I also recommend high doses of sarcasm and snark in response to patronisation should the above not work.

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10 minutes ago, Darkness_ said:

You should perhaps engage them in discussion generally, get to know them etc, might be difficult at the start, but they will respond.

I also recommend high doses of sarcasm and snark in response to patronisation should the above not work.

The problem is, high doses of snark and sarcasm are the norm here.

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So I jumped through a lot of hoops to get special permission to take my university's second and third year physical chemistry papers together. I was just told today that the second year paper clashes with another of my core papers. So I have to rethink my entire course for next year to make sure I have enough papers for my major. There's a few people wanting to take those two papers together, and we can't. It's so dumb.

Just after I found out about that, the pants I wanted to wear today ripped in an unfortunate place. <_<

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I have a problem. For the past month, I've been in a state where I've only been half awake. This has made it easier to slip into certain tendencies. Normally, things come easily to me. However, when I hit a stumbling block, I fall hard. I back away, go do something easy, and familiar. My grades are slipping, but I'm finding it hard to care. My physics teacher is threatenting to throw me out of the class next semester.  I'm relying on finals to carry me thorough on Chem. And I've completely given up on Stats. I'm currently living one of my greatest fears, which is being a failure, and knowing it's entirely my fault. These work habits have been with me for years now. This is a repeat of problems that have happened again and again and again with no change. I have no idea what to do. I've been accepted by a college, one I've been actively considering. They'll likely change their minds when they see my post-senior transcript. I have absolutely no clue to fix myself, and that terrifies me.

Edited by Ookla the Dragon
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7 hours ago, Ookla the Dragon said:

I have a problem. For the past month, I've been in a state where I've only been half awake. This has made it easier to slip into certain tendencies. Normally, things come easily to me. However, when I hit a stumbling block, I fall hard. I back away, go do something easy, and familiar. My grades are slipping, but I'm finding it hard to care. My physics teacher is threatenting to throw me out of the class next semester.  I'm relying on finals to carry me thorough on Chem. And I've completely given up on Stats. I'm currently living one of my greatest fears, which is being a failure, and knowing it's entirely my fault. These work habits have been with me for years now. This is a repeat of problems that have happened again and again and again with no change. I have no idea what to do. I've been accepted by a college, one I've been actively considering. They'll likely change their minds when they see my post-senior transcript. I have absolutely no clue to fix myself, and that terrifies me.

Take it one thing at a time. I struggle with similar motivation issues, and that's the only thing that works. 

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Ugh. I really need a hug.

So, last night, while my sister was swinging, she caught her foot on the edge of the porch, wrenched it or something painfully. A while later, having come inside and put an icepack on it, it began to swell. This morning, she went to the doctor, got an x-ray. It isn't broken, but likely just badly sprained. Either way, she is now using crutches. Which means that she can't carry stuff around, so I have to do it for her (parents are at work or shopping most of the day). And my sister does not do grateful very well, and she doesn't like being helpless, so she was really cranky and grouchy. And, of course, I was the only target.

Once parents got home, I had to feed the cats for her, among other chores. While sister was either sitting on the sofa reading or clanking around on crutches. And I have a book project due next week that I really need to work on and don't want to do. And basically, I had a miserable day and needed to rant somewhere. Sorry for just spewing it all at you.

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hugs SilverTiger

So...I really hate the Christmas season.  I hate "Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire" (like, the only song I actively, truly despise and would rather take a hammer to my fingers than listen to it).  Part of this is a function of my depression and part of it is I really hate how a lot of people act this time of year - how impossible it is to get anywhere, do anything, the general lack of thankfulness and so on.  I hate being hounded for what I want.  I hate being hounded to give things to those who want.  Basically for me Christmas is the opposite of everything I want it to be.  The fact that I'm a minister on weekends complicates matters further.  Ministry unfortunately offers no respite from the ailing nature life sometimes has.  I understand why some like me kill themselves.  I'm not on that path (haven't had a suicidal ideation in a couple decades) and I think I pretty well firmly have myself in hand so I never will be, but...man, do I understand why they do it.

This is the month of the year I wish I could burn off the calendar and just skip from Thanksgiving to New Years.  I hate that I'm this way, but this is the way that I am and have been for years. I can remember loving Christmas and I don't know how to get back to that without avoiding people. Like, all people.  Which I can't do.  So, any hugs, prayers, good thoughts and whatever are welcome. I do my best not to come off like the Grinch but I'm having a lot of trouble this year so far.

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On 3 December 2017 at 5:22 AM, SilverTiger said:

Ugh. I really need a hug.

So, last night, while my sister was swinging, she caught her foot on the edge of the porch, wrenched it or something painfully. A while later, having come inside and put an icepack on it, it began to swell. This morning, she went to the doctor, got an x-ray. It isn't broken, but likely just badly sprained. Either way, she is now using crutches. Which means that she can't carry stuff around, so I have to do it for her (parents are at work or shopping most of the day). And my sister does not do grateful very well, and she doesn't like being helpless, so she was really cranky and grouchy. And, of course, I was the only target.

Once parents got home, I had to feed the cats for her, among other chores. While sister was either sitting on the sofa reading or clanking around on crutches. And I have a book project due next week that I really need to work on and don't want to do. And basically, I had a miserable day and needed to rant somewhere. Sorry for just spewing it all at you.

As someone who's been the cranky helpless person more than once.....it must be rough on you. Its rough on everyone. Hopefully your sister gets better soon. Take some gratitude from me if you want, you're doing a great job and making her life a lot more bearable right now. Just absolutely remember to take time for yourself, get your work done, get things you enjoy. Spending all day shlepping after someone else is draining. You're doing good. 

14 hours ago, Ookla the Mulkfather said:

hugs SilverTiger

So...I really hate the Christmas season.  I hate "Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire" (like, the only song I actively, truly despise and would rather take a hammer to my fingers than listen to it).  Part of this is a function of my depression and part of it is I really hate how a lot of people act this time of year - how impossible it is to get anywhere, do anything, the general lack of thankfulness and so on.  I hate being hounded for what I want.  I hate being hounded to give things to those who want.  Basically for me Christmas is the opposite of everything I want it to be.  The fact that I'm a minister on weekends complicates matters further.  Ministry unfortunately offers no respite from the ailing nature life sometimes has.  I understand why some like me kill themselves.  I'm not on that path (haven't had a suicidal ideation in a couple decades) and I think I pretty well firmly have myself in hand so I never will be, but...man, do I understand why they do it.

This is the month of the year I wish I could burn off the calendar and just skip from Thanksgiving to New Years.  I hate that I'm this way, but this is the way that I am and have been for years. I can remember loving Christmas and I don't know how to get back to that without avoiding people. Like, all people.  Which I can't do.  So, any hugs, prayers, good thoughts and whatever are welcome. I do my best not to come off like the Grinch but I'm having a lot of trouble this year so far.

Speaking as a non-Christian here, but I don't think theres a rule or anything that you have to love Christmas. Seems like a lot of it is more socially mandated annoyance than anything - repetitive songs, trying to think of and then spend money on a present for every single relative you've never spoken to. Maybe do a small celebration with a handful of people you actually care about and tell everyone else to go to hell?

 

And post for myself: I'm starting to feel like applying for jobs is a pointless pursuit. I've been trying for months and most people don't even get back to me. I just put all this effort in, sometimes there are leads, and then nothing. I'm poor and frustrated and scared that I won't be able to pay rent soon. Anyone have advice or inspiration or hugs or anything?

Edited by Ookla the Delightful
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1 hour ago, Ookla the Delightful said:

Speaking as a non-Christian here, but I don't think theres a rule or anything that you have to love Christmas. Seems like a lot of it is more socially mandated annoyance than anything - repetitive songs, trying to think of and then spend money on a present for every single relative you've never spoken to. Maybe do a small celebration with a handful of people you actually care about and tell everyone else to go to hell?

And post for myself: I'm starting to feel like applying for jobs is a pointless pursuit. I've been trying for months and most people don't even get back to me. I just put all this effort in, sometimes there are leads, and then nothing. I'm poor and frustrated and scared that I won't be able to pay rent soon. Anyone have advice or inspiration or hugs or anything?

I guess I love what Christmas actually is and hate what it has become.

About 8 years ago I was laid off and that turned into the longest jobless period of my life, chewed up every bit of savings and retirement that I had.  Still haven't recovered from that.  It took six months to get my first interview, 9 to get my second. So I get where you're coming from.  I completely ran out of money in February the following year and didn't get my first paycheck until mid-April. 

First - most jobs don't treat potential hires as humans with hopes and needs.  And to give them the benefit of the doubt, it's difficult to have the time to personally respond to everyone interested, given the numbers of people applying for jobs a lot of places.  Don't expect much back - the best you can do is continually put yourself out there.  Open yourself up to possible moves as well, particularly to any cities where there are good friends or family who might help you get set up if you can land a job there.

Second - do not be shy about asking for help. This includes jobless benefits and food stamps, but it also includes being honest with the people you know about where you are and how difficult it is.  My parents came down twice and took us on the buy everything in sight grocery trips that run about $500 dollars.  The church has a food and clothing bank they keep for the needy, that was open every time we needed it.  Several friends didn't have much but gave us a tank of gas. And, finally, a friend in Dallas who is fairly well off sent me a paycheck, basically, to get me to my first paycheck, since it was three weeks after I started that I got my first check for work.  They all did that free of charge.  Some folks hit me up for tutoring (high school math, specifically) or piano lessons so they could "give" me money for services rendered, which is a huge boon when you're feeling useless.  It's not because I'm some paragon of humanity that they did this - I know a lot of compassionate people, good folks who whatever their faults don't want anyone to go hungry.  And we never did. 

Third - the fact you do not have a job is not a reflection on your worthiness for one, or upon you as a person.  You can't let that get on top of you.  If you don't have a strategy to deal with that, you need one, whether it be songs or books or a good friend or family member  you go to, whatever it might be, cling to that.  Because those feelings will come for you, repeatedly and often.  If you listen, you'll stop seeking jobs, start to believe you'll never get a job, you'll lose hope.  Whoever it is you talk to about stuff like this...you need to be 100% honest with them and tell them to stay on you.  Nagging if they need to, take you out for a coffee or a meal and some laughs, or whatever, but don't leave you alone in that; and ask them to come knock on your door if you won't answer the phone.  When I'm at my darkest, I cannot be allowed to sit alone in my thoughts.  I'm married and have a family so I am almost never alone, but it needs to be said.

Last - this is a rough time for you but it, too, shall pass.  There will be peace.  You will be okay.  And several years down the road you'll remember the nature of these days and probably laugh a bit wondering why you worried so much, because it didn't, does not and never will help do much aside from make you need the doctor more often.  The Lord be with you, as He always has and always will be.  And if you need to vent privately, by all means, light up my inbox.  I can't do much for you other than listen, but sometimes that was all I needed.

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Thanks for the hugs.

@Ookla the Mulkfather, I understand about Christmas. I don't like what it has become, what with the shopping and all. Christmas songs, though... I hate Jingle Bell Rock. Haven't heard of Chestnuts on a Fire, but I can relate.

@Ookla the Delightful, many hugs for you. And some prayers, too. I can't really suggest anything, but, well, *hugs*.

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1 hour ago, SilverTiger said:

Thanks for the hugs.

@Ookla the Mulkfather, I understand about Christmas. I don't like what it has become, what with the shopping and all. Christmas songs, though... I hate Jingle Bell Rock. Haven't heard of Chestnuts on a Fire, but I can relate.

@Ookla the Delightful, many hugs for you. And some prayers, too. I can't really suggest anything, but, well, *hugs*.

*hugs back*

Hugs are wonderful. 

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