The Gentle Art Of (Trying) To Write Banter.

[RickAstley]

I was trying my hand at writing a bit of creative back and forth between two characters and wondered if I could possibly get some critic from you lovely ladies and gentlemen.

 

I'd like to say that I take no responsibility for what it ultimately turned into (By about the fifth paragraph as well) but someone has to, and so without further ado I'll post my short story.

 

 

 “Town's in sight”

 

“Finally, I'll be glad to get out this drizzle.” On the back of her gelding, Travith De Verrilli stretched her arms up and out, shoulders cracking as she did so, before working a crick out of her back; she turned to her right. “You know, when we take into consideration the fact that you basically belong to me, I'm surprised all we did on this trip was work.”

 

Her companion didn’t rise to the bait, her voice steady “Ya dinnae own me. Grand Library owns me.”

 

Travith shrugged “Semantics, Singleir, they all but gave me full power over you.” she looked disinterestedly around at the scenery. Beyond the small wall next to them, a crevice ran along the well kept stone road, falling deep down into the mountainside that they were travelling up.

 

In the distance the lofty peaks of the Spine cut far above eye site, travelling impossibly high into cloud level, in-between a lush forest of green oaks undercut with brown pipe and rolling valleys; Travith's gaze was monumentally held captive by a waterfall, poring down from a mountain ravine, running in several directions before it disappeared behind the trees. Again she spoke. “Why I didn't order you to place that sweet-talking blond head between my legs is beyond me.”

 

That got Singleir's attention, her head shot around, face hidden under the hood of her rain cape, “Ya know Grand Library says a' can refuse that kind of order, right?” she said, her voice sharp.

 

“Sure, but why would you want to?”

 

“Ya want reasons Travith, 'cause a' got reasons?”

 

Travith sighed and rested both hands on the front of her saddle as their horses worked their way up the paved road at an easy gait “Honestly, you'd think the two weeks spent in a cave together would have loosened you up to the suggestion by now. I mean, really, we've spent a lot of time in close proximity, we ate together, studied together and slept in the same tent together; I even managed the nigh impossible feat of getting you to smile. I don't know why you're so opposed to the idea.”

 

Singleir also took her hands off the reins and hooked her thumbs into her leathers, guiding her gelding with just her knees. “Of course, a' should just agree with ya, because that would be the end of yer fascination with me”

 

“Hardly.” Travith snorted “Look, this was my expedition, my responsibility and we got every one of the translations that the University tasked us with done. I do believe I’ve surpassed even myself this time” Travith beamed “But even then I couldn't help but admire you every now and again.”

 

“How? It was so bloody cold a' was rapped up in a cloak the whole bloody time.”

 

Nudging her horse closer and leaning across the short distance between them, Travith wrapped one arm around Singleir's shoulder and with the other softly lowered the other girl's rain hood, fingers brushing gently down the coloured tattoos that ran from her eyes to the nape of her neck, exposing her heart-shaped face to the elements. “Like I said 'close proximity'” She winked, their faces almost close enough to touch.

 

Singleir, from the tip of her nose to the ends of her ears, blushed scarlet.

 

She turned back, suddenly very interested in the town that was growing in the horizon ahead. Travith removed her arm and sat smirking, pleased with herself.

 

Singleir looked up and almost did a double take. “Blue reaches of Hell” she cursed “Ya know, University students are all the same but you's from Central Uni are the worst, with yer cavalier attitude; you's all think ye can woo people with a glance and yer position. Constantly acting like ye've something to prove. Take you, a'm all dressed in cloaks and leathers but ye've just kept that sleeveless jerkin on, ye've got to be freezing. Are ya just tryin' to look like yer above abdy else? Like it makes ya harder? ”

 

“I resent that,” said Travith, voice light in jest as she ignored the jab at her University, placing a hand over her heart she added “It's padded and I don't feel the cold as easily as you”

 

“Cold a'm used to” Singleir cast an accusing glance at the sky, “This is baltic”

 

“It'll warm up when the sun starts to rise. Back when I was younger and still with the tribe we used to travel well before sunlight. Guess I just got used to it,” She grinned a toothy smile at Singleir, “Must be a culture thing”

 

“Fur hats, tea pots and scarification” Singleir countered with the often assumed limits to Imperial Elf culture.

 

Travith laughed “So we're good?”

 

“No” Singleir continued, clearly still annoyed “You's saunter into the Library like ya run the place, and a' swear to any god listening, just prick about with the books, ya find more fun harassing us apprentices,” she switched to a surprisingly good impersonation of an upper class student, “'Oh, where'd we conquered you from', 'I like your tattoos but don't you think it's wrong to do that to a child', 'Well, you look cute, I bet I could make you squeal'...”

 

Travith jumped in immediately, cocking a finger at the girl next to her “You do look cute, I bet I could make you squeal”

 

Singleir almost startled off her horse, grabbing at her reins, face even brighter than before, “N...no ya could'nae”

 

“So your taking the bet then?”

 

“Wha?”

 

“I bet that I could make you squeal, you said I couldn't. We just went over this bit.” Travith shrugged, large grin plastered over her face “That, where I come from is agreement to the bet, and in some places legal binging.”

 

“Piss off,” Singleir grumbled under her breath “that ain't true...is it?”

 

“Probably, Orcs take that kind of thing pretty seriously.”

 

“Well a'm no an Orc.”

 

“True, but why let that get in the way of a good thing?”

[MrGinger128]

I love this.

 

Interesting plot and good banter between characters.

 

I'm super interested in the Library, hope to see more!!

[MrGinger128]

Anyone else have anything to add? I'm curious to see who else enjoyed it as much as I did!

[Bort]

Nice. I like Singleir's accent. It's distinctive without being unreadable. Scottish, perhaps?

 

I'll also agree with MrGinger128. I'd like to know more about the library.