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Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)


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On 9/24/2014 at 9:04 AM, Ashiok said:

sure, but you can't breathe air.

 

No School, but same knowledge and recomendations as somebody who has school

Granted, but you gained the knowledge and recommendations by vastly illegal means and are now on the run from the police.

 

I wish to become a fully published author.

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1 hour ago, Mr. Staccato said:

Granted. Your delusions of grandeur have come to pass, and afterwards they have also subsequently passed away.

You can no longer consume PBJ sandwiches or any other one of its variants.

I wish for a voodoo doll.

Granted, but the doll is eternally in the possession of your mother, leaving her to do with you as she wills forever.

 

I wish for my school's musical production to not be an epic flop.

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2 hours ago, Firerust the Terris Gyorn said:

Granted, but you gained the knowledge and recommendations by vastly illegal means and are now on the run from the police.

 

I wish to become a fully published author.

Granted, but you have published your book in a society that is not literate. 

I wish to know everything. 

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AAAAAAHH there's two wish exchanges going on.

 

The nightwatcher becomes irritated by these interruptions, and grants everyone's wishes in an insulting way.

12 hours ago, Firerust the Terris Gyorn said:

Granted, but the doll is eternally in the possession of your mother, leaving her to do with you as she wills forever.

I wish for my school's musical production to not be an epic flop.

Granted. It's a stunning success... But it is a stunning success because you can't participate in it.

10 hours ago, IntentAwesome said:

Granted, but you have published your book in a society that is not literate. 

I wish to know everything. 

Granted. You know everything... About yourself. You are made painfully and candidly aware of your many flaws.

 

I wish for a boon.

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You have magically become an expert in making palindromes.

Also, the Nightwatcher applauds you for your responsible use of her powers in settling the wish dispute - and also the savage burns you have inflicted to your fellow sharders in the process.

So she takes it easy on you. Your bane is that you now think that the latest Fantastic Four movie was awesome - and your friends are undoubtedly judging you for your poor taste in movies

I wish for a statue of myself to magically appear somewhere in New Zealand.

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36 minutes ago, Mr. Staccato said:

You have magically become an expert in making palindromes.

Also, the Nightwatcher applauds you for your responsible use of her powers in settling the wish dispute - and also the savage burns you have inflicted to your fellow sharders in the process.

So she takes it easy on you. Your bane is that you now think that the latest Fantastic Four movie was awesome - and your friends are undoubtedly judging you for your poor taste in movies

I wish for a statue of myself to magically appear somewhere in New Zealand.

Granted, The statue is 1 millimeter tall and appeared in someone's toilet as they were dumping some chull dung in it.

i wish for all the knowledge in the world and the ability to act upon it flawlessly 

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4 hours ago, Gizmosowner said:

Granted, The statue is 1 millimeter tall and appeared in someone's toilet as they were dumping some chull dung in it.

i wish for all the knowledge in the world and the ability to act upon it flawlessly 

Granted. You lose every part of your body with the exception of your brain which is forever trapped in a high school biology lab. 

I wish for an honorspren. 

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1 hour ago, Zennix said:

Granted. You lose every part of your body with the exception of your brain which is forever trapped in a high school biology lab. 

I wish for an honorspren. 

Granted however you have highly incompatable personalities that make speaking with each other hell.

i wish for my body back in perfect condition

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Granted. Your body is preserved in perfect condition in an aquarium of formaldehyde, and the aquarium is then placed next to the jar your brain is kept in. Congratulations, your body has been returned to you.

As your bane, you start experiencing phantom pains.

 

I wish for the capacity to manage my time well.

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5 minutes ago, Brightness Enna said:

Granted.

You can no longer eat meat. You have no appetite for it and you simply cannot get it in your mouth or taste it.

I wish for less homework to do.

You have been abducted by the Beast and now live in his castle to serve as his Belle. Homework is sent from your school to you via carrier pigeon and the living, breathing furniture and cleaning implements answer your papers and do your math homework for you.

Voila! You now have less homework to do! (P.S. You might want to tell off the bottle of gin who insists on answering your math questions for you because he can't count for the love of crap. (Because he's drunk - no duh.))

Oh, and also, your toes have been Awakened and they have nightly dalliances with the teapot and her son when you're sleeping. (I'm high, thank you.)

I wish for the stupidest thing a man could possibly wish for.

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2 hours ago, Mr. Staccato said:

You have been abducted by the Beast and now live in his castle to serve as his Belle. Homework is sent from your school to you via carrier pigeon and the living, breathing furniture and cleaning implements answer your papers and do your math homework for you.

Voila! You now have less homework to do! (P.S. You might want to tell off the bottle of gin who insists on answering your math questions for you because he can't count for the love of crap. (Because he's drunk - no duh.))

Oh, and also, your toes have been Awakened and they have nightly dalliances with the teapot and her son when you're sleeping. (I'm high, thank you.)

I wish for the stupidest thing a man could possibly wish for.

Granted. 

You have to go back every week to receive more boon of the same kind. 

I wish for the ability to spike Hoid and get all of his without any losses. 

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Granted; you spike him and get all the consequences of being under the influence, feeling them just as strongly as he does; without any loss of sensation.

Your bane is that you fall through a perpendicularity and become stuck on braize. No investiture gained.

Congratulations on being the only creature in the Cosmere without innate investiture; though that also means that the time and space of the Cosmere affect you differently... I'll leave how to your imagination.

 

I wish for the ability to break the laws of reality and reason and create usable investiture of any kind inside of anyone I choose; without negative consequences directly related to it. 

(yes I know: investiture cannot be created or destroyed; I don't care!:D)

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You request to break logic? The nightwatcher grins evilly.

 

Your wish is granted. You may not break the laws of reality and reason, nor may you create usable investiture of any kind inside of anyone you choose, and negative consequences abound if you attempt it.

As your bane, all birds can no longer stand your presence. Their responses to you vary from extreme agitation to outright aggression.

 

If that seems like an illogical way to grant your wish... Well, the laws of reason are being broken! :ph34r:

 

I wish for a cinnamon roll.

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6 hours ago, Gizmosowner said:

Granted however it can only be used once a year.

i wish for my brain to be transplanted back into my body

Granted. However, since your brain was removed earlier, your head isn't in good shape. But I've got a replacement: You should really look up Morbius from classic era Doctor Who. :)

I wish for motivation to draw.

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10 hours ago, Drake Marshall said:

Granted. You are motivated to draw scenes that are extremely disturbing. Your drawings ruin some poor psychiatrist's day.

I wish for an hourglass.

Granted. You are always one hour late. 

I wish for the power to transform The Stick. 

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22 minutes ago, Zennix said:

Granted. You are always one hour late. 

I wish for the power to transform The Stick. 

Granted, you have become god, however your bane is that your sheer power evaporates your power and mind so you become pure aimless investiture without the influence of any intent.

i wish for perfect knowledge of how investiture works as I am sure I have no idea.

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Granted. In regard to your previous bane, the nightwatcher informs you that investiture with no intent or consciousness directing it is literally impossible. If a large quantity of investiture became aimless, it would spontaneously develop sentience and direct itself. The best you can do to render investiture aimless is to set parts of it against itself, which I'm betting is what splintering a shard must entail of. I hope that helps with the wish :P Some of what I said is theorizing on my part.

Your bane is that the Oathbringer release date is delayed another 2 months.

I wish for a half-hour glass... I have no idea why.

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3 hours ago, Drake Marshall said:

Granted. In regard to your previous bane, the nightwatcher informs you that investiture with no intent or consciousness directing it is literally impossible. If a large quantity of investiture became aimless, it would spontaneously develop sentience and direct itself. The best you can do to render investiture aimless is to set parts of it against itself, which I'm betting is what splintering a shard must entail of. I hope that helps with the wish :P Some of what I said is theorizing on my part.

Your bane is that the Oathbringer release date is delayed another 2 months.

I wish for a half-hour glass... I have no idea why.

Granted, you have the bottom half of a hourglass, you bane is that now you have to use it once per day, and refill it when all the sand falls.

I wish for the best dinner ever.

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