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People you wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley


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3 hours ago, kenod said:

Perhaps, but the alley isn't active enough anymore. Perhaps we could seek some allies?

Ooor, we could make some allies.
Who has those iron spikes we made from the last guild that tried warring with us? Nothing like an ironically made Koloss to win a guild war.

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19 hours ago, kenod said:

Intelligent machines are supposed to have spiritwebs, maybe we could spike them too?

Hmm... Perhaps we could do some bloody hemalurgic experiments culinary experiments to test this theory out, and test out various effects of hemalurgy and creation of new, powerful hemalurgic constructs varied chocolate chip placement? Or perhaps we could try out making hemalurgic constructs of intelligent machines baked goods for intelligent machines?

Edited by Secrets
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6 hours ago, Secrets said:

Hmm... Perhaps we could do some bloody hemalurgic experiments culinary experiments to test this theory out, and test out various effects of hemalurgy and creation of new, powerful hemalurgic constructs varied chocolate chip placement? Or perhaps we could try out making hemalurgic constructs of intelligent machines baked goods for intelligent machines?

Recent research has proven that Spren can be spiked given cookies. Seeing the similarities between type IV Awakened entities and Spren, it should be possible to awaken a robot, and then spike it give it cookies. the only issue would be to overcome the Investure Interference between the Breath and the spike cookie. so basically, we could make sentient Hemalurgic robotic killing machines sentient cookie dispensers.

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On 4/3/2017 at 4:51 PM, kenod said:

Recent research has proven that Spren can be spiked given cookies. Seeing the similarities between type IV Awakened entities and Spren, it should be possible to awaken a robot, and then spike it give it cookies. the only issue would be to overcome the Investure Interference between the Breath and the spike cookie. so basically, we could make sentient Hemalurgic robotic killing machines sentient cookie dispensers.

Hmm... True  enough. I suggest that to overcome the investiture interference crossed frosting, we might be able to use higher levels of investiture frosting to help compress all investiture frosting into a single entity. Perhaps if we were to use Atium for the spikes our best secret recipes for cookies? And we could also probably just hemalurgically spike give cookies to the spren, possible to seons, skaze, and  even shades :)

But wait. Did you just mention sentient machine cookie dispensers? Did you just make intro thread spam bots? :blink: 

What are we doing? Or perhaps we just probably shouldn't let them loose in the intro thread, but in other areas.

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4 hours ago, Secrets said:

But wait. Did you just mention sentient machine cookie dispensers? Did you just make intro thread spam bots?

No, just meant it as a synonym for hemalurgic terminators. Actually creating spam bots would probably get me banned.

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15 hours ago, Zennix said:

I plan to create a Sentient Awakened Object (like Nightblood) that feeds on upvotes and unleash it on the 17th Shard. (evil cackling) :ph34r:

Can't you just let it feed on members of the Assassins in Technicolor Clothes?

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Remember, Fellow Denizens, to be careful with Spambots lest we incur the Wrath of Chaos and his mighty Banhammer. Be sneaky about it, and remember to use plenty of distilled pseudo-gelatin when insulating the central processors.

But otherwise, knock yourselves out!

not literally of course, we wouldn't want a repeat of the Great Coat Hanger incident, which, let me tell you, was a real headache. If you catch my meaning

Also, has anyone seen any zinc spikes with green ribbons tied around them? I put them down somewhere, but I can't seem to remember which psycho-temporal district I left them in.

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8 hours ago, Fatebreaker said:

Also, has anyone seen any zinc spikes with green ribbons tied around them? I put them down somewhere, but I can't seem to remember which psycho-temporal district I left them in.

Check alley 36, 58m down in the 4th dimension, 32m up in the 5th dimension. I think I remember seeing some there.

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  • 2 weeks later...

The dark alley is breathing it's final breaths. The activity count is dropping. The bakers are shutting down their shops, it appears. Although we see the last guard of members out, fleecing new members in through the introduction threads, this thread is slowing down. @Hemalurgic_Headshot @A Budgie are succeeding in the introduction threads. I will enjoy watching the collapse of this horrible place.kookEz.jpg.cb57f2675acab6cdd7dbee7acce038e9.jpg

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Collapse? Absolute silence is necessary for the ensured survival of our Master Plan. Sometimes you must make many noises to hide the ones you don't want noticed, the screams of terror delight, the roaring abominations ovens. Sometimes, you must remain quiet, in hopes that no one notices the haunting baker sneaking behind them, readying a cookie and plunging it into your back. So don't worry. Most of us are not gone, merely stalking those too unobservant to see their impending purchases.

@Cluny the Scourge

laughter.gif

Edited by 18th Shard
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We are still very much around even though aren't often seen in public. We are creatures of the night. The whisper in the silent woods. The mist just before dawn. The howl on a full moon. The thing of nightmares. We are everywhere and nowhere. 

PS: Just ignore all the poetic ramblings. You only need to understand that if you underestimate us, you are....

 

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On 4/28/2017 at 9:07 AM, Cluny the Scourge said:

The dark alley is breathing it's final breaths. The activity count is dropping. The bakers are shutting down their shops, it appears. Although we see the last guard of members out, fleecing new members in through the introduction threads, this thread is slowing down. @Hemalurgic_Headshot @A Budgie are succeeding in the introduction threads. I will enjoy watching the collapse of this horrible place.

You see, the problem is your limited concept of the grander scheme. To take the circumstance of a moment as the substitute for the rest of an ever-twisting timescheme is to confine oneself to the illusion of knowledge. The Alley, may it's ovens burn perpetually, has endured trial and tribulation. At one point it consisted of a mere 3 people. But as long as the darkness of ignorance and the haze of prejudice against the Hemalurgic arts persists, we Denizens will be there to forge onward in the name of Science!

So fear not, my unenlightened friend. The Dark Alley, may its darkness illuminate the Multiverse, may seem dormant, but we've harvested enough bronze ferrings to make sleep a thing of the past, and enough cadmium ferrings to make sure the sweet, toasty, cookie-scented breath of the alley shall waft enticingly through the forums for eons to come.

So the question is not when we will perish, but rather, 

"Would you like a Cookie?"

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  • 4 weeks later...

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