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People you wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley


Voidus

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I tend to be unique in these kind of organizations because I'm the kind of fellow who would spike a guy give a guy cookies and then sell him a coffin napkin before he dies leaves. 

On another note, I had some thoughts about improving a few things around here.

What the Dark Alley needs is a good marketing division.

They'd be in charge of advertisements and slogans. 

Things like : The Dark Alley: baked goodness you can't  trust.

I did some work for the Ominous Shrine group(which is similar to the DA, but with more cannibalism), and their explorer count went up by 17 percent.  

I also specialize in TDEDs, trans-dimensional disorientation and ensnarement devices. Mazes that funnel entrants to the center and have sharp, string-cutting corners, Forest paths with sudden steep embankments, poor footing, and complimentary dead trees, and the good old-fashioned decoy wardrobes. All of them can be outfitted with convenient, easy to use spike holders

I think a maze would be appropriate because it's technically one big alley, or a mass of smaller interconnected alleys.

Edited by Fatebreaker
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We should put up posters in the various guild courts: Newcago, Raven throne, etc.

And commercials. Commercials are key.

I'm sure we could get some endorsements from various influential or well known guild members. 

Something along these lines:

       Hi, I'm Elsa Steelheart, ruler of the newcago court, and when it comes to completely harmless cookies there's only one place for me. Dark Alley baked goods. People who I send to visit the Dark Alley always experience Spikes of joy, among other things. So don't hesitate, visit the Dark Alley today!"

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When I was a kid I used to listen to recordings of old Sam Spade/Our Miss Brooks/ Father Knows Best  radio shows. Well the ads always get stuck in there with the shows so you learned ancient ads by heart. If anyone feels like challenging my nerdiness than come at me bro! :D

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We should put up posters in the various guild courts: Newcago, Raven throne, etc.

And commercials. Commercials are key.

I'm sure we could get some endorsements from various influential or well known guild members.

Something along these lines:

Hi, I'm Elsa Steelheart, ruler of the newcago court, and when it comes to completely harmless cookies there's only one place for me. Dark Alley baked goods. People who I send to visit the Dark Alley always experience Spikes of joy, among other things. So don't hesitate, visit the Dark Alley today!"

Fatebreaker, here is your endorcement.

Hello, My name is Queen Elsa Steelheart, queen and ruler of the Newcago Court.

As a famous monarch, I'm always asked where I get such fabulous food and cookies

And that's all thanks to Dark Alley baked goods.

These completely harmless cookies are really and truly fit for royalty.

The Dark Alley has many more choices of safe and delicious food.

Any members I send to the Dark Alley always experience screams and spikes of joy and come back rather unharmed.

For the low low price of possibly a spike, you get the out of this world cooking that really says: "I love non spiked cookies from the Dark Alley."

Also, take a cookie from them and you'll receive a spike absolutely free. Yes. Absolutely free!

So for incredible and delicious food, come visit the Dark Alley today!

And remember: "The only cookies for me are from the Dark Alley!"

Edited by Queen Elsa Steelheart
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I always find it so amusing when QC targets a new person to flirt at. It's always the newest, most active, and semi-powerful person to join a guild B)

 

I just realized that you sounded almost jealous.

 

Well, we at the DA strive for nothing if not the perfection of hemalurgy amusement.

 

And have achieved it!

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