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Found 24 results

  1. Hey everyone, This is an isolated scene, and most likely it will mean more to the few who have read the whole story previously, but I also would welcome anyone's comments as to whether it is entertaining. The scene (which follows the submission info at the front) is designed to give Moth more agency and play a bigger part in the story. For those who don't know, Moth is 14 year-old, and Eight is her android companion. The info at the front is the material I need to submit to Angry Robot, and I would really appreciate comments from those with submission and publication experience on how this does. It's Draft 1/2, but I don't have much time left to rework it. Finally, Merry Christmas everyone!! Or happy alternative winter festival, for those who don't do the MC thing. Best, Robinski
  2. Hey everyone, Any comments at all will be much appreciated, thank you. Just whatever you feel. Your views will be particularly appreciated if you are a first time reader, as this is the second time I've submitted TMM to RE. If you missed the first week because you are a new member, I'd be happy to email you the first submission from last week. Best, Robinski
  3. Hello all, So, this is an SF novel of ~87,000 words. Some of you will have seen it before (from February to May this year, believe it or not), and I will totally understand if you don't wish to read it again. It has changed since the last time. How much? Well, hopefully just enough! I won't say much more other than that any comments you have will be most welcome, and to note that it is a story with adult themes. There is swearing aplenty, there are some sexual references and violence in later submissions, and one scene of moderately graphic sexual violence later on. NB: I would be obliged if you would please REFRAIN from using the title or any 'unique' or identifiable terms from the story, for example the one in the title. Character names should be okay, as they are not unique words. Thanks! Kind regards, Robinski
  4. I really wanted to wait until @kais and I could post together, but, well, I didn't, so there. I've never written fanfic before, so I'm probably rubbish at it, and writing someone else's character is a weird privilege that feels like it should be illegal. No doubt I have crashed and burned, but it was sooooooooooooo much fun that I'm completely unapologetic. Except to say, Kais, I'm really, really sorry!!!!!!! It's total frippery. If measured on the scale of political correctness, I suspect they wouldn't let the courier with the submission into the building in which they measure political correctness before they place things on the scale. Comments? If you like, but I'm trying to play it for laughs, so I've probably just offended everyone, unless there are any Australians on here Cheers, Robinski
  5. Hey folks, Well, here it is, the final part of TMM - I hope you find something in it to like! Most important apart from the usual stuff, of course, is whether I've kept the promises that I've made. Any comments very much appreciated. Robinski
  6. Here's the latest section, only two more to go after this. As usual, any comment that you care to make are gratefully accepted. <R>
  7. Hello All, Attached is the 13th and latest instalment of The Mandroid Murder. Running slightly over the 5,000 words - sorry about that. Nothing special if you have time to read, just the usual stuff. There are some ongoing issues which I need to resolve in the next edit, but I don't mind if you mention them again, Whatever strikes you as worthy of comment is fine by me. Best, Robinski
  8. Hello Everyone, Thank you for considering and I hope you have the time and inclination to read this latest submission. 'Previously on TMM...' is noted below, there are three chapters here, each relatively short, but slightly over the total - sorry about that. 'L' for the usual reasons, 'S' for one use of a sexually derogatory word that goes beyond 'L'. If anyone is interested, this submission takes us to Page 201 out of 294, so beyond the 2/3rds mark, and there are 'only' four more submissions to go after this one - if you're willing to stick with it. My gratitude again to all those who continue reading, and to those who have input up to this point. Best, Robinski
  9. Dear all, Many thanks of reading if you have the opportunity and all comments most welcome. I've flagged with a 'D', because there is mention of drugs, but there is no actual drug-taking. Many thanks, Robinski
  10. Hello everyone, Thank you kindly for reading if you have the time and the inclination. This is Submission 10 out of 16 in total – all going according to plan, and we are now past halfway in the story. As usual, anything goes as far as comments are concerned. There will be some aspects that have been commented upon previously which are not fixed all the way through the story. I would ask that you bear with me on these elements. This chapter might be a little rough for some in one particular place; be warned. I have included the ‘T’ rating for torture. I will say no more, but please notice the ‘S’ rating also. And not forgetting the omnipresent ‘L’ rating. To try and categorise a bit, to help you make a decision about reading, the ‘V’ is there to modify the ‘S’ not the ‘T’. The torture does NOT involve hacking-and-slashing, but a more passive form – more like Cruelty. There is no ‘G’ore, but the passage in question is quite graphic. If you want an edited version, I will provide a sanitised ‘cut’ if you email me or post on the forum thread. This will involve me modifying a couple of paragraphs and simply stating the bald facts of what happens there. So, I hope that’s not too much to cope with. Thanks for (thinking about) reading. Best, Robinski
  11. Hi everyone, If you happen to have the time and inclination to read this, I am very grateful. I am also interested in just about anything you have to say about it, so please do comment on anything you like. Previously on TMM... Best, Robinski
  12. Hey All, Here is Chapter 7of TMM in which stuff happens. Super keen as ever to hear your reactions. Hope you enjoy and really look forward to getting and all comments you see fit. Cheers, Robinski
  13. Hello Everybody, Thank you for your consideration of my latest submission of TMM, three whole chapters this time! Any comments very welcome, as ever. Whatever you like, and whatever you don't. If commenting, and you happen to remember, and if it's not too much trouble, can I ask you to reference the document pages, which are tracking my current draft. This week's sub should start at Page 97. Don't worry about it though, if you don't get the formatting, not a biggy Best, Robinski
  14. Hey, So, I see there are four submission requests and it's Monday morning. I've got a full day, so I'm going to stick my neck out and submit. This is Chapter 3 and the first appearance of M. Again, some of you may have seen this as bits and pieces, so apologies for the relatively recent repetition. And don't forget the language warning - it's M. I think there are more expletives than adverbs in this, although actually, I've taken one or two swears out. Best, Robinski
  15. Hello everyone, Soooo, please do ignore until tomorrow, but I've got a heavy day ahead, so thought no one would mind if I just 'slipped this under the door' a bit early and ran away. If you do have time to read this coming week, I'm just looking for anything that occurs to you. I'm ramping up the pace a bit with a 'full' submission. Interested to know if it holds your interest for two chapter and 5,000 words. Thank you for your consideration. Cheers, Robinski
  16. Hey everyone, I'm pleased to bring you another chapter of TMM, Number 8, to be precise - and the longest submission yet. For what it's worth, this chapter takes the page counter to a quarter of the way through. Best, Robinski
  17. Dear all, I am pleased to submit for your comments, the first two chapters of TMM. This is second draft, anything and everything are in the cross-hairs, nothing in particular I can think of to focus on, just everything! Some of you may recognise bits of this, maybe even most of this submission, which I sent out between July and September last year. If you are willing to bear with it, the new material will kick in soon, although I hope this reads more cohesively that the snippets and portraits that you saw before. If you haven't met these characters previously, I hope you enjoy them, or at least can put up with them long enough to jot down some observations. Much appreciated, Robinski
  18. Hey everyone, So here are Chapters 5 and 6; kind of short, but that's part of my whole approach to this story and these characters; short, sharp and hopefully sparky. So, early on in this chapter is something that I feel might be controversial. It's there with the intention of creating 'instant' character, to spice up the sound of the story a bit (in passing), and I really am just looking for your reaction to it, does it work or does it not, and why. Cheers, Robinski
  19. Hey all, Thanks in anticipation for reading. I like these one line summaries some people are doing, so... As usual, if you are able to read, I'm just looking for any comments that occur to you. Best, Robinski
  20. Hey folks, thanks for reading if you have the time. I'm still tracking through Writing Excuses Season 10 as I build my current project. Here's the beef for this week's submission. [Writing Excuses, Season 10, Ep14] – Write 500 words, focusing on just one of the promises you’ve identified for your story. Then stop, and start writing another 500 words with a different promise. Aaaand then do it a third time. So, here (following) are mine. Which one do you find the most effective / enjoyable / enticing? Plus any and all other notes that you care to mention – much appreciated!! [Writing Excuses, Season 10, Ep16] – Write your first thirteen lines, and see how much you can fit into that space—character attitude, point-of-view, mood, genre, conflict, setting, and more. Yeah, this one is in there too, I hope. Wow, that’s a really good challenge. Again, I would very much appreciate your comments on that thread. [Writing Excuses, Season 10, Ep17] – Take the world-building you’ve done, write your beginning, and then secretly write down your “gee-whiz.” Now run that beginning past some alpha readers, and have them attempt to identify the “gee-whiz.” Compare their answers with your own. Hmm, I'm saying nothing about this from my pov, but I’d be interested to hear your thoughts on this aspect, if you wouldn’t mind. As ever, my thanks for any comments you can spare. <R>
  21. Hey there everybody! So, last time, I submitted the first 500 words (x3) based on different promises for a scientist, Q and M (S10-Ep14); these included the first 13 lines, ‘crammed’ with set-up (S10-Ep16); also incorporating (in theory) the “gee whizz” theme/idea in each case (S10-Ep17). This time around, there are two exercises in play from Season 10 of Writing Excuses. (S10-E18) Pick your gee-whiz, whatever it may be, and describe it in 150 words from ten different perspectives. Yes, that’s 1500 words. (S10-E19) Write dialogue in which each of the speakers has a different subtext and motive. Without explicitly stating those, try and make them clear to the reader. I should mention that I have not edited these much, other than to get them down (or up) to 150 words – in the case of the perspectives. No need for line-by-lines, as doubtless most of these will never make it into a story. In terms of the second exercise, you may have read a previous submission in which Paxton Grimes, from the colony on Grbr. 34A1, met Moth in a train station and was ‘escorted’ by her into the centre of Milan, where he was meeting with Ant di F. Well, here is the opening of that meeting between Grimes and di F. I will post up (as a hidden ‘spoiler’) the basis for the scene after I’ve had a few comments on RE, assuming anyone reads it!! Thanks for your kind attention. <R>
  22. Hey there. After the three character ‘portraits’ from last time, I am following on through the writing exercises of Writing Excuses Season 10. The next one arises from a cast about secondary characters and making these rounded and interesting individuals, it goes like this: (S10-E7) Pick one of the dead-drop characters from the exercise two weeks ago, and turn them into a secondary character. Now take one of the characters with whom they interacted, and write the same scene again, but from this new character’s POV. Here is my attempt. The comments I'm looking really just relate back to the prompt and the cast. Is Grimes interesting, how does Moth come across as a secondary character, which is what she might become if I write out this story – which I hope to. Then, the next prompt after that requires me to imagine the scene before and after the main character scenes of the dead drop. (S10-E8) Sketch out the events before and after your dead-drop scene from last week and three weeks ago. For Q, I have a bit written more than the outline that they asked for. I just sort of happened that way, because I'm getting into the characters and itching to write a story for them. So, following the Grimes perspective below, there are Q then M’s before and after the drop scenes. Are there interesting? Again, character comments, please. Thanks for reading!! <R> p.s. An apology – last time, I should have had a big on ‘L’ for language tag on my submission – just completely forgot. Sorry!! p.p.s Sorry this is late.
  23. Hey there. The following are portraits of three characters in a story I am planning. I am writing this story as I work through Season 10 of Writing Excuses, which is set up as a writing ‘masterclass’ for listeners to work through with a particular project they are writing. I'm near the start where main consideration is about characters. The particular exercise (homework!!) is as follows: (S10-E5) Take three different characters and walk them through a scene. Convey their emotional states, their jobs, and their hobbies without directly stating any of those. The scene in question: walking through a marketplace, and they need to do a dead-drop. Here is my attempt. I know there are issues with it, and certain things that I should go back and punch up, but I'm just trying to maintain progress at this point, so I'm not putting any work into polishing - apologies! The comments I'm looking for are all around the characters, although anything else that you might wish to comment on in relation to world-building, etc. is more than welcome. Thanks for reading!! <R>