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Found 27 results

  1. As my friend and I read about Urithiru and learned it was the home of what were essentially a bunch of gods in human form, we realized how hard it would be to manage that many people. Therefore we created our patented: List of Urithiru PSAs That Must Have Happened: Original set: -To the lightweaver who put an illusion of a chasmfiend in the oathgate entrance, a foreign emissary was coming on a diplomatic mission, and suffice to say relations are now…strained. -Windrunners, while sticking someone to the ceiling might be an excellent way to stop a fight, please remember to let the participants down gently afterward, particularly in rooms with high ceilings. -We understand that the hallways might be twisted and confusing to many, but please refrain from soul casting the walls, even if you are quote “late for a meeting.” Particularly do not soulcast any walls into blood. What is wrong with you? There were children nearby! -Edgedancers, slicking the floor for a “fun prank” is not acceptable, particularly in public hallways. We have a laundress with a broken hip, and she’s threatening to sue. -This is a general reminder to those of you with a gravitation surge, please keep track of your altitude and stormlight. We’ve had three accidents already this month. -This is a general notice to all knights radiant. We ask that you use the stairs to get down from the top floor and refrain from jumping off the balcony. The ground is full of cracks and the bondsmith are getting irritated. -Please remember that there are people here who are not knights radiant and therefore possess no special abilities or healing factor. There are currently eight people in the hospital due to negligence in this area. -Since there are still many of you who refuse to refer to the Dustbringers by their preferred name, Releasers, mandatory sensitivity training will be held within the week. Please check the notice board for your order’s scheduled date and time. There it is. Feel free to add more. Some of the other good ones from my tumblr post on this: - Stonewards, please refrain from creating handholds and staircases in the walls. The city planning committee is in an uproar and the traffic congestion is immense. - Lightweavers, please remember to remove your illusions after you’re done practicing. We have multiple falling injuries from people assuming that the holes in the floor are illusions and not actually scheduled maintenance. - To whomever Lashed the barracks doorway shut, we understand you are not on speaking terms with other members of your order. However, they do have a right to be able to sleep in their own bed. And no, you can’t Lash them to the ceiling as a substitute. from aspiringwindrunner - Skybreakers, we know you’re all about the rules, but covertly rerolling a saving throw doesn’t warrant an out-of-character death penalty. - Windrunners, please stop going up to visiting dignitaries and offering to “show them the world”. - Stonewards, we know your herald is the best, please stop getting in shouting matches with the skybreakers in the hallways. - Edgedancers, please stop talking the skybreakers in circles. Their Highspren have filed complaints. - Lightweavers, while your practice is certainly important, please stop sending images screaming salacious rumors through the halls. On a similar note, please stop making fake dead ends, the ambassador was lost for nearly two days. from kyerinell
  2. I may not start the game knowing how to do hemalurgy. Playing an albino skaa mistborn from the remote dominance is okay. Having him be raised by koloss is not. Even after we've thrown the Final Empire into chaos and learned how to control koloss via allomancy, koloss blades still cannot be props for player characters. I am no longer allowed to have more than ten nudges. Terrisman Drizzt Do'Urden is NOT a valid character concept. This issue is closed. Canon defilement is fun. Using Straff Venture's skull as a bowl for anachronistic tortilla chips is not. If Kelsier stabs his eye out with a spike, he is god. If my character stabs his eye out with a spike, the next scene will involve a steel inquisitor chopping his head off. I cannot play a koloss. Character concepts that look like they were taken directly from a metal album cover are okay. Character concepts that look like they were taken directly from a "Weird Al" Yankovic album cover are not. Even though the above rule is in operation, playing blood-crazed servants of Ruin is generally frowned upon by my fellow players. Kandra canot be made using spikes taken from koloss. "Homicidal Maniac" is NOT a Drive, Profession, Specialty, Feature, or Personality trait. If I say my latest character concept is "extremely awesome", I am not allowed to play it. My character's drive can NOT be "Destroy Everything". This issue is also closed. Again. No more homicidal maniacs unless we're playing an evil campaign. Genocidal maniacs, omnicidal maniacs, fratricidal maniacs, and suicidal maniacs are also forever closed to me as character options. Tyrranicidal maniacs are okay, though. Lockpicks are not a valid torture implement. Arson is NOT the solution to all problems. When it's my turn to GM (or narrate or whatever), I will not treat everything the players say as their characters' actions in game. We are NOT playing Normality. Kandra women are not "the hottest women on Scadrial". Period. Any campaign where I become the holder of the shard of Ruin will end as soon as I become holder of the shard of Ruin. Even if the rest of the story isn't even close to complete. The same is true of the shard of Preservation. No matter how high my physique score is, I am not allowed to carry around a catapult. I am the reason we can't have nice things. Or massive stockpiles of Lerasium. (End of part 1 of the list.) A 73-year old skaa beggar cannot have a physique score of 6. I will not attack every character with piercings that we meet. The battle cry of servants of Ruin is not "Blood for the blood god"! There are no such things as koloss allomancers. I will not mock the steel inquisitors. "I just got this feeling." is an acceptable in-universe excuse for the metagamer to use his knowledge from the books to discover new allomantic metals, but "I hated him." is not an acceptable in-universe excuse to kill the metagamer. I will stop trying to convert random Extras to Cthulhu Mythos cults. Noblemen do not taste like chicken. I do not worship plants. I cannot kill an army all by myself. Even if I say please. I cannot base my skaa tineye off of Negan from the Walking Dead. Twinborn do not exist until the second age. If I light Rashek on fire, it will just piss him off. If my character has the "sniveling coward" burden, he cannot charge an army of several thousand koloss with no armor or weapons except for a table leg. No more starting death cults. My kandra cannot be the source of more than three werewolf legends per campaign. I cannot play a terrisman for the sole purpose of mocking my teammates in ancient languages they do not understand. When talking about skaa while pretending to be a nobleman, I cannot say that "They're like people, but there are more of them". I am not allowed to have five obsidian daggers as my only props at the start of the campaign. When given a list of mental illnesses for my insane character and told to choose one, I cannot pick "all of the above". I cannot violate the first contract over a game of shelldry. My character's name can't be Human. I am no longer allowed to play mentally ill characters unless the GM (or Narrator, as the game calls him) says otherwise. When we run out of supplies on the road, I will not suggest we resort to attacking and eating a nearby band of koloss. Especially if they outnumber us 50:1. My scholarly noble mistborn will not speak in eastern street slang. (End of part 2 of the list.) Any campaign where my kandra becomes the god of the afterlife not only never happened, but will never ever happen ever again. Period. Quellion the Citizen's flag does not include any swastikas. Kandra are not edible. I will not base characters off of Pink Floyd songs. Or Led Zeppelin songs. Or Judas Priest songs (this goes double if they're off the Jugulator album). Koloss swords are generally not considered acceptable dueling weapons. I will not solve every social conflict by turning it into a physical conflict. I cannot bribe the Lord Ruler, no matter how many duraluminmind charges I'm tapping. I will not burn duralumin and aluminum at the same time. The same goes for nicrosil and chromium. "Nobody expects the canton of inquisition!" is a really bad pun. Skaa are not good eating. Despite what word of god says on the matter, kanda can't burn lerasium. This issue is closed. I will not play "One Second" by Paradise Lost when I tap a huge amount of (feruchemical) zinc charges. I may not threaten to eat the steel inquisitor, even if I mean it. Especially if I mean it. Even if the rules allow it, I cannot start the game as Lord Prelan. After the thermite-napalm incident, I may no longer play mad scientists, inventors, or pyromaniacs. Especially if my character is all three. I will not be surprised or offended that "terrisman stew" does not contain actual terrismen, nor will I attempt to remedy the situation. We may not make "ash angels" in the fallen ash. Even if we say please. My leather armor cannot be made of koloss skin. We cannot quote Shakespeare when the Lord Ruler dies. Mistwraiths do not taste like jellyfish. Nor does my character know what jellyfish taste like. Or even what jellyfish are. No matter how insane my character is, he is not allowed to respond to interrogation by just saying "I am a stick"! I cannot kill every single female character in the crew that has a male player just because I find that sort of thing kind of creepy. I am no longer allowed to be the crew's primary fighter if I have "Chef" as my profession trait. If I ever deal more than 20 damage, my character will become the favored servant of Ruin. I am no longer allowed to have a steel, iron, or pewter rating of 10. This issue is closed. (End of part 3 of the list.) I may not have "god" as my profession trait. Even if the game says I have to have two negative circumstances to lose even one die on any roll, I automatically lose 3 if I try to start a physical conflict in a tornado. Southern Scadrians are not "Pre-cooked meat". My character's name is not Randy and he does not speak fluent German. We may no longer combine the "Create Guns" and "Malwish Technologist" stunts. The same is true for attempting to combine the "Create Custom Ammo", "Create Hazekiller Ammo", or "Customize Guns" stunts with the "Malwish Technologist" stunt. Even though there is no maximum encumbrance, I can't carry around 20 compressed kandra in my backpack. I may not play a worldhopper. I may not eat the koloss-blooded bandit we just killed unless I'm a kandra. I am not allowed to convince everyone in the crew base their characters off of characters from The Order of the Stick. "Elder Thing" is not an acceptable race selection. No more cannibalism unless I'm a kandra. I may not execute 50,000 random people every week just because it's Monday. I may not cuss NPCs out in foreign languages. Especially Finnish. I may no longer take the "Scrounger" stunt if I'm a chromium compounder. Or capable of using feruchemical chromium at all, for that matter. "Misthammer 40k" is a horrible idea. My character may not invent tabletop roleplaying games during his downtime. My character's name cannot be "Nyarlhotep", "Outer God" is not an acceptable race selection, "Messenger of the Outer Gods" is not an acceptable profession, and "Crawling Chaos" is not an acceptable specialty. I cannot play a Malwish character just so I can claim that, in my culture, it is polite to punch people in the face for no reason. Even if nothing in the rules forbids me from doing so, I may not dual wield koloss swords. Especially with a physique score of two. The definition of "cannibalism" in the context in which it was forbidden includes all sentient creatures, regardless of race. My character cannot start the game with an all-consuming hatred of masks and the people who wear them. Neither "Alcoholic" nor "Hobo" are acceptable profession traits. This is, of course, doubly true of "Alcoholic Hobo". I may not create a Rube Goldberg Device at all, but especially to do any of the following: Pour me more beer, put my clean clothes away, punch people in the face, disturb the peace, destroy Malwish masks, kill things I don't like, or be an abomination against nature. "Chaotic Stupid" is not an acceptable personality trait for a lawman. Or anyone, for that matter, but especially a lawman. My character's destiny cannot be "Find Ironeyes and cuss him out". (End of part 4 of the list.) If, at any point, my brass compounder takes on the mannerisms of Obliteration, he dies. If the responsibility of executing an outlaw falls upon our group, the people expect us to choose hanging or firing squad as our method, not blood eagle. "Hypnosis" is not an acceptable specialty for my roughs lawman. I do not put the "riot" in "rioter". I may not use my duralumin compounding to get laid. The Words of Founding say nothing about the Cthulhu Mythos. My character was born in Elendel, not New Orleans. If I have an influence score of 2, I may not start the game with the "Legendary Gun" stunt. I cannot choose more targets using the salvo option of my Terringul Ripper than there are bullets in it, even if, technically, the rules allow it. I may not use my contract with a kandra to make her take the form of an attractive woman for any reason. This issue is closed. I may not play an A-Copper/F-Duralumin twinborn with the "Face in the Crowd" stunt just to troll my crewmates by disappearing when they need me. "Bulletproof sunglasses" are not a real item and may not be taken as a prop during any era. "Drink beer and watch sports" cannot be my drive and it sure as hell can't be my destiny. If I take willpower damage, I can't roll for a bout of madness using the Call of Cthulhu Keeper Rulebook. I cannot usher in the apocalypse. I may not call random extras "Dirty, dirty communists". I may not select "Arousal" as my focused emotion for rioting. Nicrosil is not a toy. I may not start with a resources score of 8 and the "Filthy Rich" stunt just so I can take 11 soonie pups as my props. The "Point Blank" stunt does not apply to rotary guns. After Kelsier says "I am hope!" I can't say "And I'm despair"! There are no albino girls in the brothel, no matter how high my spirit roll is. I cannot play a steelrunner just so I can "get the hell outta here" whenever something dangerous happens. Kandra do not have feeding frenzies. Rotary guns are not acceptable dueling weapons. (End of part 5 of the list.) My character may not invent fascism. Especially if the reason for doing so in-universe it "because I'm bored". My character may not kickstart a chain of events that lead to the world looking like an alternate history novel written by a Scadrian Harry Turtledove. I may not attempt to cause a Mistborn/Holy Grail crossover. Even if it would be hilariously awesome AND awesomely hilarious at the same time. I may not attempt to kickstart a chain of events that lead to a shootout between the main characters of the Alloy of Law books and the iconic characters of my homebrew Weird West Dark Fantasy RPG in post-apocalyptic Hallandren. I may not throw my potato chips at the guy that accidentally got my character killed. My new character my not throw knives at the character of the guy who got my character killed. If my character is a blatant expy of Roland Deschain from Stephen King's Dark Tower books with tacked-on twinborn powers, I may not play said character. My character may not attempt an exorcism for any reason. My character cannot start the game convinced that he's a werewolf. I cannot play a sentient, gun-slinging potato chip. Much like arson, knives are not the solution to all of life's problems. Although I am not only allowed but encouraged to play a perfectly sane and well-adjusted character, I must have a better reason for doing so than just to incite irrationality and paranoia in my fellow players. Our plot for dethroning the Lord Ruler cannot hinge on inventing driveable lawnmowers. I cannot spend all my free time gaslighting Edwarn Ladrian. I cannot use my status as a constable to start an investigation into who is gaslighting Edwarn Ladrian when I know damnation well who it is. Plan B cannot be "Like plan A, but with more pewter". Even if the premise of the campaign is that something happened different than it did it canon, my character's last words can't be "This is Cody of AlternateHistoryHub". It would be kind of redundant to have my character start the game with 16 minutes to live, since that's usually about how long my characters last anyways. Everything bad that happens is always my character's fault until proven otherwise. No matter how bad an idea is, comparing said idea to German nationalism is harsh. Scratch that last one. Comparing an idea to German nationalism is okay so long as I absolutely positively DO NOT compare said idea to Highlander II: The Quickening. My character cannot invent heavy metal. If my character turns the campaign into a Mind Screw, his brain will come alive and kill his arm, which will come back for its revenge and redeem all of the damned souls of beers that sinned. Oh, and my character will die. I cannot create an adorable but deadly kandra minion, and I most certainly cannot name him "Lil' Snapper" My character cannot have Donald Trump hair. (End of part 6 of the list.) If you want more, just ask in the post replies/comment section thingy. Thank you.
  3. - NO MATING! - Adolin's safehouse in Kholinar being... his tailor. - "Monstrous terrors from the mythological past, enemies of all that was right and good. Destroyers who had laid waste to civilization countless times. They were playing cards" - Every time Kaladin accepts a challenge just for his Stormlight to run off is funny to me for some reason. - Shallan's conversation with Hoid.
  4. So what started out as a typo (talking about how long inquisitors love live) nearly a year ago has brought me to this. Just in time for the Holiday, enjoy these Mistborn Valentines Day Cards! See all of my Valentine's Day Cards here. See a PDF of printable, foldable versions of these cards here. It was a lot of fun making these, and I will probably do some more in the future. Maybe some Stormlight Archives Valentines? We'll see! If you have any ideas, please send me an email and let me know.

    © Bowen Jacobs

  5. Inspired by @TwiLyghtSansSparkles's wildly popular thread Memefying Books, I present... Memefying What Happened in Portland! Same premise as Twi's thread, but for the Reckoners RPG. I know many Sharders (myself among them) are a little wary of diving into this subforum because of how MUCH there is to read in here, so I'm hoping this thread will get more people interested in the amazing storytelling going on in here. To get the ball rolling, I have made a few memes from the first page of posts in the Portland thread. Enforcement officers outside Fortuity's penthouse in the OP: CorpseMaker at the end of The Only Joe's 2nd post: Nathan after spending a few hours with Doctor Funtimes:
  6. People really seemed to enjoy the Mistborn Valentine's Day Cards I made last year, and I had a lot of fun making them, so this year I'm back with 3 more for you. Enjoy! See all of my Valentine's Day Cards here. See a PDF of printable, foldable versions of these cards here.

    © Bowen Jacobs

  7. You've all probably had those moments when, reading a really breathtaking scene from a book, you imagine a soundtrack playing in its background. Or you stumble across a particularly epic piece of music, OST, anything, and immediately imagine it playing to the tune of Kaladin's resurgence as he has to protect Elhokar, or Kelsier's sacrifice, or Lightsong's death. Well, this thread is for you then! Post your epic OSTs that you link to the epic Cosmere scenes, form your own Cosmere Soundtrack!* *I will keep updating the OP with my own ideas.
  8. Relevart Drahs here or Shard Traveler, whatever you like better. I just just created This topic 'cause my, and maybe your, favorite part of books is the hilarious comments and Stormlight Archives is full of them. So your job, if you get on this topic, is to find your favorite funny comment in Stormlight Archives and post it here. Hope you enjoy doing this 'cause I know I've been dying to talk about it. Relevart Drahs
  9. Hey there Sanderfans, I just want to let everyone one know that there is a Brandon-themed Humble Bundle available now. It will be running for the next two weeks and features most of Brandon's novellas, a selection of Mistborn Adventure Game sourcebooks, as well as the Graphic Audio editions of Elantris and Warbreaker. Check it out here! The Bundle is broken up into the following tiers: For those who pay $1 or more Firstborn / Defending Elysium Omnibus The Emperor's Soul Legion Legion: Skin Deep Warbreaker Part 1 - Graphic Audio Elantris Part 1 - Graphic Audio Mistborn Adventure Game For those who pay $8 or more Sixth of the Dusk Shadows for Silence in the Forests of Hell Perfect State Warbreaker Part 2 - Graphic Audio Elantris Part 2 - Graphic Audio Terris: Wrought of Copper - Mistborn Adventure Game For those who pay $15 or more Snapshot Dreamer The Hope of Elantris - Graphic Audio Warbreaker Part 3 - Graphic Audio Elantris Part 3 - Graphic Audio White Sand volume 1 Alloy of Law - Mistborn Adventure Game All told, if you pay $15 you are getting $174 worth of stuff (that's over 90% off). For reference, just one Part of the Graphic Audio adaptations ordinarily costs $14. It is also important to note that The Emperor's Soul, Legion, and Legion: Skin Deep are not available in regions where Gollancz has exclusive distribution rights (pretty much anywhere that used to be part of the British Empire). Also this Humble Bundle is currently (as far as I can tell) the only place to get the solo ebook release of Dreamer and the Graphic Audio edition of The Hope of Elantris. In other news Amazon.com has a listing up for preorder for a solo hardcover release of Edgedancer. Previously, Edgedancer was going to be exclusive to Arcanum Unbounded for five years but it looks like Tor is amending their contract with Brandon in order to give it an individual release in October 2017. Just in time for a re-read before the release of Oathbringer in November! Nauvoo Games, who are making the Reckoners board game, has also posted some pictures on Twitter, from an event they did last month: I do not know for sure if this is the actual art style they are planning for the game, but I really hope it is. I think it captures the feel of the Reckoners trilogy perfectly. I also love that they used the Superman symbol, presumably as the symbol of the Faithful. Unfortunately however, I doubt that will remain in the actual release due to licensing reasons. Especially since the pendant in Abraham's portrait uses a different design for it. Edit: Since the people over at Nauvoo Games are awesome they just shared on Twitter that there will also be minis included in the game and posted a mock-up of a mini for Abraham!
  10. I was on the mobile version, when this happened
  11. Inspired by the useless uses for useful powers thread, I decided to create this. The goal is to think of some horrible side effect of using a Cosmere power. For instance: Burning tin right before someone rips a big fart. Ewwwwww Or: Tapping pewter and accidentally breaking out of your clothes (in public) Try thinking of more!
  12. I was wondering if anyone else on this site watched The Escapists show "zero punctuation". I would definitely recommend it if you want something funny to watch (if you like video games) or if you need to kill some time, so much time.
  13. Why must a man be judged by the color of his eyes instead of the content of his character?
  14. I just started watching Hetalia and I was wondering if any other fans of Hetalia were here.
  15. I thought a few of you wouldn't mind a pick-me-up.
  16. People really seemed to enjoy the Mistborn Valentine's Day Cards I made last year, and I had a lot of fun making them, so this year I'm back with 3 more for you. Enjoy! See all of my Valentine's Day Cards here. See a PDF of printable, foldable versions of these cards here.

    © Bowen Jacobs

  17. People really seemed to enjoy the Mistborn Valentine's Day Cards I made last year, and I had a lot of fun making them, so this year I'm back with 3 more for you. Enjoy! See all of my Valentine's Day Cards here. See a PDF of printable, foldable versions of these cards here.

    © Bowen Jacobs

  18. So, here we go again. Q: What does Pattern say when Shallan's hair becomes infested with small bugs? A: Mmmmmm...... Lice! Q: What do you call a pleasant chasmfiend? A: A chasmfriend. Sorry.
  19. While watching the weather channel they played the following segment. http://youtu.be/v49RNXNzLTs When I saw it I immediately though of the Stormfather. Unfortunately nobody was around that would get the joke, so I'm posting it here.
  20. So what started out as a typo (talking about how long inquisitors love live) nearly a year ago has brought me to this. Just in time for the Holiday, enjoy these Mistborn Valentines Day Cards! See all of my Valentine's Day Cards here. See a PDF of printable, foldable versions of these cards here. It was a lot of fun making these, and I will probably do some more in the future. Maybe some Stormlight Archives Valentines? We'll see! If you have any ideas, please send me an email and let me know.

    © Bowen Jacobs

  21. So what started out as a typo (talking about how long inquisitors love live) nearly a year ago has brought me to this. Just in time for the Holiday, enjoy these Mistborn Valentines Day Cards! See all of my Valentine's Day Cards here. See a PDF of printable, foldable versions of these cards here. It was a lot of fun making these, and I will probably do some more in the future. Maybe some Stormlight Archives Valentines? We'll see! If you have any ideas, please send me an email and let me know.

    © Bowen Jacobs

  22. So what started out as a typo (talking about how long inquisitors love live) nearly a year ago has brought me to this. Just in time for the Holiday, enjoy these Mistborn Valentines Day Cards! See all of my Valentine's Day Cards here. See a PDF of printable, foldable versions of these cards here. It was a lot of fun making these, and I will probably do some more in the future. Maybe some Stormlight Archives Valentines? We'll see! If you have any ideas, please send me an email and let me know.

    © Bowen Jacobs

  23. So what started out as a typo (talking about how long inquisitors love live) nearly a year ago has brought me to this. Just in time for the Holiday, enjoy these Mistborn Valentines Day Cards! See all of my Valentine's Day Cards here. See a PDF of printable, foldable versions of these cards here. It was a lot of fun making these, and I will probably do some more in the future. Maybe some Stormlight Archives Valentines? We'll see! If you have any ideas, please send me an email and let me know.

    © Bowen Jacobs