Robinski

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About Robinski

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    Fighting unnecessary capitalisation since June 2013

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    Glasgow, Scotland

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  1. Yay! Thanks you Silk.
  2. Yeah: I always thought it implied an accent too, but probably because of cultural associations.
  3. Some people make it easy to be awesome right back Congratulations, and jubilations.
  4. I knew this could only be Hall & Oates before I clicked on the link. Great tune It does. I think D is likely to appear again before the end, possibly Lady P too, but not as foci. I should draw more from the part where they go through the kitchens, but there were women present when J was raging through the halls before. As to the other questions, fair ones all. I will think on it. Thanks again!
  5. Good grief, no, please don't apologise. I was just starting to become concerned I had offended you; I'm just so keen to get this aspect as right as I can. I'm so grateful for your patience in 'newbie wrangling' where these matters are concerned. Oooh, that's good. I wonder if it's a bit hammer-to-the-head given Lord P's later revelation... I like it better than my replacement, so will put it in this version. Good shout! Oh, mm, argh, yes; I see your point. I'll try it this way. Yes. I think I started with that as a justification in the very first submission, but it wasn't right, of course. Yup, right. I wasn't intending to be silent on the issue, but this submission clearly leaves a bad taste in the mouth. Working on it... I still believe that's what Lord P thinks, but clearly he needs work to deliver the smooth villain that I'm aspiring to. Whoopee... I didn't set out to take this on when I had the idea. Ch was a redhead in the short story in this setting (now substantially superseded by this novella), but having decided to cast her as a person of colour, I feel like I have a chance to learn a lot (more) and have a real go at getting this aspect more right than I have so far. Yeah, this is not a quick fix, but I will be vigilant for it in the edit: top of the list. Much obliged for the links. Second top of the list for the edit: give 'sidekicks' their own life (or reinforce what they do when not on screen). (1) - I feel like Lady P is or could be more of a character, with some work, and I was planning to try and flesh out D a bit more. (2) Not sure that going from BlkWit to Mn-Etr helps this - not that it was intended to, that wasn't my drift. I'll need to work on this; somehow. (3) I didn't really intend that, but appreciate it's gone that way to some extent. I'll need to try and address this; somehow. The 8 Absurdities link is excellent, thank you! 1 - Lone Representation: I feel like I do have other female characters, while still accepting that Ch is treated differently, I feel like she's not a Vin; 2 - Separate fighting style: I know you're not calling this one out, but I feel like I need to guard against it. Then again, with the magic system, I feel it doesn't call out any attribute that could be in danger of being considered 'unfeminine', J is cited by Lord P as having potential to be quite strong, but he's not Ch's superior in any way simply by being a man, I think. 3 - Enigmatic Decision-making: Hmm. I would not say Ch is any more enigmatic than D in her decisions, but that doesn't address the issue, I know!! Looking at my own writing (never any easy thing to do), I feel that this is a trait I have, but that it's not exclusive to the female characters. Anywho, I need to watch out for it. Check. 4 - "Feistiness": I'm glad you didn't call me on this one. I don't think Ch is 'feisty', I'm hoping she's capable, resourceful and intimidating (needs work). 5 - Femininity Balancing: I don't think I've done this per se, although I know I've trampled all over the 'not like other girls' thing. 6 - Frequent Reminders of Attractiveness: Guilty. I need to cut down on this. 7 - Sexual Abstinence: I really think I'm good here, Ch having been married and all, but also not displaying any signs of awkwardness in this area (I think). 8 - Gendered Magic: Again, I think I'm in the clear. I am forever in your debt for your patience in going over this stuff with me. Thank you. Those links are super helpful. I think there are 2 to4 subs remaining, and I'm going to try and bring this home with the above in mind. It'll still need loads of work, of course, but I'm willing to keep doing it.
  6. Absolutely the best thing you can do is look on Wiki under 'patois'. Much better explanation than I can give. I clicked over there just now and was reminded of the term 'pidgin', which is one that we missed. I always thought of 'pidgin' as an English thing but 'patois' comes from French; so sayeth Wiki.
  7. I have a bio, but not (yet) a short bio tagline. How short is short?
  8. So pleased to have your comments, ID. Thank you Yes, it's a fair question, and a problem for me in that J is not participating in the heist, or at least his part in it has been usurped somewhat by Lord P dropping his reveal about the ledger. I will need to consider what to do about that, because I don't want to let the reader down on the matter of the heist. I'm planning to play up the earlier ticking clock aspects that drive the heist when I edit, but I agree I also need a way to keep the heist on track too. Thanks for calling out! Good point. The fact that the moniker was given to her by people who would be insensitive to the issues doesn't help with the fact that it's there on the page. It was certainly low-hanging fruit when I adopted it. Yep. ...and it kind of runs to the theme as well, bones and all. On the one hand, I think it's unlikely that the type of society here would steer away from using a racist sobriquet; on the other hand I don't want to drive away any readers. I've changed it to Corpse Ship Butcher, for now, but it's really quite awkward. I'll have another go in the edit. I've tweaked this; I think it's better now. Good catch. I've changed this. I was trying to not make that link too clear when he used them at first, so that it was not too obvious that it was the tiger that caused the attack. I was aiming for it to look like him, so that the reveal had more weight. Perhaps it is not working like that however. It's wasn't so much about the physiological reaction to consuming that kind of marrow, but his lack of experience in harnessing the power/rage that results from using it. Having said this, I like the idea of a physical reaction, and will insert that. Thanks! I don't think his is: that certainly was not the intention. Ch is from a country where there are tigers, etc. which don't exist in W. Lord P is factually correct. Ch (allegedly) has the ability to use that power which (apparently) Wen adepts can't/struggle with. Putting (apparent) facts aside though, this touches on an area where I've always been uncertain. Surely I can have a racist character in my story, as long as the narrative doesn't support his view, and calls him out or rejects his position in some way? Having said that, it's not my intention for Lord P to be racist, his position is much/goals are broader than that. Lol. Well, he's trying to sell a belief to J. Does he have any evidence? Is it all smoke in the wind? Maybe, maybe not... ...since D's position is also grey, and seems to be 'working', I'm hoping that the reader will also entertain the possibility that Lord P's position could plausibly have some degree of truth in it. I'll need to continue to the end to see how this all plays out, than go back and adjust earlier scenes for key points. I will take a note with me to work on D's role, but perhaps more so Lord P's diatribe. Thanks for calling out. As always, I hope, the very last thing I want to do in the story is convey any sense that I believe such things, which I don't, in even the tiniest sense. But, can I have a nasty character that voices this thought? My first reaction to your comment, which I very much appreciate and very much want to address, is that I have made the mistake of not having J recoil from the notion. Arrrgghh. That's definitely not my intention. I've tried (and I think I have) expunged all the bad stuff from J in the first (icky) submission. I really think I've got rid of the fetishistic stuff, and I'm high alert for it in the first full edit. I cut short this submission to get it in, but the next section, which now I will probably just make the second half of this one, is J rejecting Lord P's position. If you are willing to consider the question above, can I have Lord P come out with these comments, as long as the narrative/MC/sole POV rejects them (which is my intention)? Definitely not the intention. I'll cut the whole thing if I have to. Not the intention. I think it is, from the edits I've made, which I appreciate you haven't seen. I'm not saying it's there yet, but I think it's much better in that respect. Going back to my earlier point, I guess I'm just still not sure whether there is any way to write a racist character that is'acceptable'. I can only call first draft and rush to submit. I always need to work and rework such things to make them effective. I genuinely don't know what to do. Where I want to be is as you say above, but I don't want to be there if I'm still on thin ice Thank you so much for the comments, and for persevering. Great to have you back. <R>
  9. Thank you so much for reading, @shatteredsmooth. That's good , and yes, it probably was... There's nothing previous; it is a possibly clumsy attempt to underline J's limited worldview. Hmm, yes. I'm not saying you're wrong. I suppose that's the difficulty with J accepting, or trying to accept what P is telling him. Unreliable internal monologue? Yeah, ok. There is dialogue earlier on about J crossing the rest of the group to keep more of the swag for himself and get a bigger share. Maybe there isn't a good basis or that, and maybe I need to call out his unreliable nature more. He is a thief, after all, and therefore inherently dishonest. Still... I will try and start out on the edit with a clear set of goals (which I don't always manage to do), one of which is to show that J ultimately is a nefarious wee sh1t. This is great news. I like the word 'rot', and will include it here somewhere for sure! Thanks so much for the comments. Much appreciated
  10. Thanks so much for reading, Mandamon. Appropriately like clockwork for a steampunk(?) author Calling WRS on this, as they did split in the last submission. She if off to do the thieving and find Pen. Yes, good call. I'm sprinkling in some internal reaction from J. Excellent comments, both. Thank you. Unclear, thanks for calling out. Their abilities are permanent, all of them (allegedly). I've called that out better. Clarified, thanks! Super comments. Thank you
  11. I've lost this week completely, still replying to posts from the last week! (Sorry.) By way of background, I might be 'drifting' in and out for a while; my mother (92!) was diagnosed with Vascular Dementia and Alzheimer's in January and it's starting to 'bite'.
  12. I defer to your superior knowledge, and also, I can see the point of that.
  13. That's the spirit!
  14. Patois (often refers to low class); cant; brogue (again, perhaps particularly suited for the Gaelic languages); dialect (perhaps more to do with the actual language rather than the accent); inflection (probably more to do with the delivery or style of speaking than the accent).