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      Oathbringer Spoiler Policy   11/13/2017

      Oathbringer is out! Let's make our policy on spoilers clear! 1. You must preface topics with Oathbringer spoilers with the prefix [OB] in the front 2. You are only allowed to post spoilers and spoiler topics in the Oathbringer Spoiler Board, Cosmere Theories, and some select work-related forums. 3. For posts in the Oathbringer Spoiler Board you do not need to use spoiler tags inside a topic marked [OB]. For Cosmere Theories, you also do not need to put spoiler tags inside your topic if the topic has [OB] in the title. However, for Cosmere Theories, if you are adding Oathbringer stuff to an old theory without the [OB] tag, those must go in spoiler tags and you must make it obvious outside the spoiler tag that the spoiler is regarding Oathbringer content. 4. For select things that do require talking about OB spoilers, in Events, Coppermind, and Arcanum forums, those are allowed but keep OB spoilers in spoiler tags 5. Avoid and minimize spoilers in topic titles--even though those two boards will not appear in the Recent Topics ticker, topic titles still appear in Recent Activity and the forum home.  6. You aren't allowed to post Oathbringer spoilers in places other than listed, even with spoiler tags.  It will be nine months and then the Oathbringer board will be re-merged with the Stormlight board and you will not need to tag these spoilers. If you'd like to move something in the Stormlight Archive board to the Oathbringer board, to update it with new Oathbringer information, Report the post and we will happily move it to the Oathbringer spoiler board. Part-by-part Reactions Though the Oathbringer Spoiler Board will be very spoilery, very fast (maybe don't come there until you've read the book, as people do have copies that bookstores sold early), you'll have these five topics for reactions if you want to nerd out: Part 1 Reactions
      Part 2 Reactions
      Part 3 Reactions
      Part 4 Reactions
      Full Book Reactions For parts 1-4, they will not include the interludes immediately following it. On Discord All Oathbringer spoilers on Discord will be exclusively in the #oathbringer_spoilers channel for the nine month spoiler period and nowhere else.

kais

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  1. Little bit of this, little bit of that, some things I can't talk about yet...
  2. Sorry! Life is crazy hectic right now and I maybe just agreed to do two new books...
  3. So do we get a discount if we shop there then?? Asking for a friend...
  4. If a lot of people are doing it here on RE, we could have an accountability thread or something? Special NaNo thread? Cheer each other on?
  5. Sorry for the delay on this! Last week was all kinds of hectic, but you are not forgotten! Overall This was perfect! Pacing is good, tension is good, ending is satisfying. I really have no complaints anymore. Well done! As I go - love the mention of nostalgia on page 3 - also love the ending on page three. Solid work there - random thought on page six: I want a short where Sam finds one of the Nether computers, and its an old Apple IIe or something, and he's like, hey everyone, let me show you how to use Paint and play Space Whiskey - I still have no idea how the crate falling down stairs works with the Symphony and note generation. This is my lack of physics talking, probably - page thirteen and the flow is good. Loving it. - I love the little (big) creature - end of page 18: solid. Good mystery here! - ending: yes. All the yes
  6. And I'm so freaking proud of you, @TKWade! You (and your writing now) make my heart happy.
  7. Apologies all, I'm not going to sub this week after all. Between DVpit and the book launch for ASD, I can barely think straight.
  8. That was the original idea, but it didn't land quite right on initial alpha readthroughs. I've tweaked it a bit because I did want to try to draw parallels between it and the nonbinary gender, in that both exist but (at this time) aren't really 'legit'. I dunno. We'll see if it works as you get farther into the story. I've done more with explaining S's isolation in early chapters, so hopefully with those edits, this makes more sense @industrialistDragon agreed with you, so the morels stay! LOL! I'm not here to be praised. I need harsh criticisms, STAT! So pick away, no worries! There's a follow up next chapter so I'll be interested to know if that 'seals the deal' Are we going to do fanfic again??? Thank you so much!! I think this is super solid advice. I'm going to start a new version now and try to add that in from the start. Thank you!
  9. Check! Thank you @Mandamon and @Robinski. I'll go forth and edit
  10. And you are a lovely person for it. Thank you. No, that's why there are scabs. Scabs often make my skin not flex right. I assume that isn't just me? They didn't actually kiss. Just brushed lips and such. LOL. Story of all my writing. Thank you! Built up how? There's plenty of hints in earlier chapters that S's view of the world isn't the same as everyone else's. Do those need to be more apparent maybe? I've gone back and forth on dialogue versus internal monologue with this and can't quite find the right balance. I'll keep playing around. Thank you! That's okay! I don't know that it needs to be. Everyone seems in agreement with this, but I may keep it just because it's cute. This is brought out more in earlier chapters now. Hmm.... trying to think on how best to achieve this. I've put in a lot more about it in this draft, and haven't subbed some of the chapters that it is in now. Looks like I need more blatant call outs to alchemy? I was trying to use S as an unreliable narrator, but maybe it's just not working. History and tradition, really. I mean, the real world effects of the Industrial Revolution included loss of a huge swath of craft knowledge that we can't recover because of guild secrets. Some processes are completely lost to time. I don't know if we need them, but I suppose for those whose lives revolved around them, it was pretty upsetting. I guess I'm relying a lot on reader empathy for traditional handwork in this piece, which is problematic. Yup. But outside of Sam pushing S into the lake, I'm unsure how to get S back into it. I agree. I've been over it so many times though I just can't figure out how to fix it On and off, potentially. It was the daydreaming I really wanted to get across. (also I maybe pretended to be a Power Ranger in my backyard even up through high school...) I've edited this for clarity Thank you!
  11. So much so that we have a counter! Alas, it is now reset to zero (but it's not just you. It reset previous just last week. Almost every newbie fridges in their first sub. @TKWade can tell you stories). Best part of the knowledge is now you know, and you can fix it! If you can't figure out how to make a female character an actual character, it's best not to write one at all. Suzie doesn't even pass the Sexy Lamp Test, which is the lowest bar for judging female characters in a work. My suggestion would be to remove this sexy lamp altogether and replace it with a dog. Dogs are lovable. Dogs engender devotion from their owners. Dogs don't mind being plot devices, especially if you give them a treat after. Women do mind being plot devices, and that Suzie could be effortlessly swapped with a dog in this narrative should also give an indication of how troubling this type of representation is. Go forth and edit! You can do this!
  12. I don't know if I have adequately explained it. I didn't sub one of the redone chapters where S and Sam meet, so you're missing that part. I think it's 'defined but still nebulous', but I don't know if it lands well enough. I'll probably need to do another straight read through and see. I was trying to spin it as him being a jerk, but if both you and @Mandamon are tripping over it, it probably just needs to come out. I've cleaned this line up. I need cis het male help here. What would you do? Lesbians (loosely, very loosely), but also your sister? @Mandamon @Robinski @TKWade @rdpulfer help! I've changed up S's personality a little, so I think this is in line. I've moved from 'pathological fear' to 'consistently suppressed childhood interest and fear of maternal retribution' Yes. Yes she is. BWAHAHAHA Thank you! No worries! Will clean The 'mushroom' shaped ones do actually spin together sometimes, especially when the grow in clumps. Is this me being too nerdy? I'd say it's 50% voice, and 50% needs cleanup. One of the things I was trying to do with TWD was to not write in such a sterile manner (my major comment from agents when subbing AFD was that it lacked strong voice). So S, being a proto-scientist, got dialogue and 'voice' much more akin to how we write and talk in the sciences. I'm trying to strike a balance now between the inherent awkwardness of it, and the need to keep an actual voice in the narrative (which, I have been told by recent agents in rejection letters, is actually there this time!). Meaning, basically, the awkward phasing is mostly on purpose, but needs to be scaled back. Nope. He's always been a he From my last round with my editor, I think we settled on (for the A series, anyway), that Royal Daughter would be in caps, but the royal daughter would not. No soldiers this time, at all. I did away with them. It's just M and S, and their Sam tagalong. Apologies, I've been skipping around with the new chapters and forgot to mention that I changed S's backstory on this. Is it weird that in my mind, it has about the amount of one of those alcohol-filled chocolates? Can do. Thank you for the help!
  13. Easy enough to do. Thank you for the feedback! Well heck, I'm on a roll. And yeah, frozen snot is gross! This is my fault. I forgot to mention that I changed a fair bit of the earlier chapters. S now has an interest in magic, which has been repeatedly and resoundingly squashed by the mother. This was supposed to show some growth in S, in breaking from Mother's stranglehold. I probably need to bring that out more if it isn't landing, even without the backstory. Good call, and good opportunity to put in a little more guild backstory Yes, because it's a magical fantasy land No, and I'm debating deleting it entirely, since I removed the whole lake scene anyway. Although maybe it should stay, since I want to do more with the lake in the next book. Unsure. I'm conflicted. Because he's more of a jerk in this version? I need help. I don't know how straight men would react in this situation. True. I was hoping to walk the line between 'does S just not want to make decisions' or 'is A's presence so imposing that S can't make decisions?' Thank you for the detailed feedback, as always, @Mandamon!
  14. Welcome welcome, and congrats on your first sub! Overall The emotion is there, and the voice is there, I'm just a little lost on plot and purpose. What is the purpose of the narrative? Where is it supposed to go? It's a good look at PTSD, but it doesn't seem to have an arc. And reading through above comments... Suzie is dead? Wait, where is that mentioned? I skimmed back up and the only indicator is that she doesn't wake, but that just seems more like 'why is this woman suddenly such a hardcore sleeper' than anything. Also...not a fan of this trope. Like, really and truly, her being dead and his sole motivation makes me not like this piece. Women are not vehicles to push empathy for male characters. See women in refrigerator's trope. Your questions Is the fantasy element in this story too weak to justify having a plot based around it? The plot of this story revolves around the whole death avoidance number thing, but I didn't want to give that mechanic any focus, so I blamed it on the Devil. Is it enough? Fantasy? This reads more just like a story about PTSD. I don't see any fantasy elements to it, mention of devil or no. Suzie is dead at the end of the story. Did you figure that out before I mentioned it? Nope, and I greatly dislike it. See above comment. Did you notice the clues? (Suzie doesn't wake up from his shouting, despite John being certain that she'll wake up if he closes the door too quickly.) (“Hell, you could've probably woken the dead with your damnation shrieking.” “You're exaggerating, right?”) (I need to check myself out in the mirror to see how much damage I did.) I did notice, as you can see below, but to mean that means less that she is dead and more that something is going on. If not, how much clearer should I make it? I usually operate under the creed of “Always respect your reader. Pandering is cheap,” but right now I'm afraid it's much too vague after showing it to a few of my friends (who are not at all huge fans of reading). I'd suggest having the neighbor make a comment like 'you just haven't slept well since your wife died' or something like that. But what I really suggest is not having her be dead, or if she must be dead, not using her as the focal point upon which the MCs every emotion and action is based. Women are not disposable plot devices. John is “destined to die” when he tries to commit suicide, but is “saved” when he thinks about Suzie. After outright telling you that Suzie is dead and that his number increased by +1 *insert finger guns here* would you have made that conclusion yourself? Wait, she dies mid-piece? So it wasn't just a memory at the beginning? Gah, I'm too confused. It's worse fridging if she dies mid-piece. I still would not have made that connection, I don't think Again if so, how much clearer should I make it? Solve all three problems I have by making it a more obvious divine intervention, making it more fantastical, giving more clues that someone died, and making it obvious that he was saved, all in one go? Solve all three problems by not putting Suzie in a refrigerator. I'd rather see him try to work through his PTSD. If you want this to be a fantasy, I think you'll need to up the fantasy elements substantially. They're too subtle right now. It's a good start, but could use edits. Keep at it! As I go - you've got redundancy issues in the first page. Try reading your work out loud to yourself. That'll help you catch them - page six: he lives on the 7th floor but he's only ever taken the elevators once before? Like, even if you like to take stairs, there are still plenty of reasons to take the elevator, groceries being a top contender - numbers should be written out (so twenty-three, not 23) - page 11: so... if he has survived death 23 times, the guy in the park is 24. Shouldn't that break the momentum here? Shouldn't he be happy, or at least relived? - page 13: shouldn't Suzie be hearing these screams? - wait, so the college student across the hall woke up, but not Suzie?? - and he's...he's in the apartment? How? Why? I'm so confused - end: still super confused as to how Suzie has not woken up