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Belzedar last won the day on February 2 2017

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About Belzedar

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  1. I'm a bit confused. What exactly happens when he kills time? And how does that save his wife?
  2. Does this mean each Dawncity is a Herald's spawncity? I'm curious about the mechanism of this spawning. Are the Oathgates involved? Maybe Taln was supposed to spawn in the palace, but the Oathgate spren deliberately shunted him outside the city so he wouldn't fall into the hands of Aesudan and her Unmade friends.
  3. You're making a lot of assumptions about how lerasium works. It's possible that you need the full bead to get the full strength for any given metal. Alloying 1/16 of a bead with iron might only give 1/16 the lurching strength of a lerasium mistborn. In other words, hacking the system to exceed 16/16 LS might not be possible. So I'd do what I assume Hoid has done: burn half now, and save the other half for when we know what it's really capable of.
  4. Well, I hope you do finish this someday. It's definitely a book people will talk about!
  5. Very interesting, and very ambitious. I guess the best advice I can give is to focus on the characters, especially Ripheus. The "exotic question" of humanizing him is probably the biggest obstacle facing this story. If readers are going to be invested in the book, they need a character they can feel for. Focus on Ripheus as a human being. I know he's some kind of ultra-moral heroic archetype come to life, but he can still function like a person. Give him desires and fears that conflict with his concrete goals. Figure out his emotional arc for the book, and where he needs to be at the end. That should tell you what kind of ending the story needs. Perhaps this is the real problem with your big Form-changing climax: coherent or not, it's missing the main character. What do these events mean to Ripheus? How is he participating in them, and influencing the outcome?
  6. Well, @Ripheus23, thank you for outlining that. This is quite a story you have here! Though I must admit that the synopsis didn't help my understanding as much as I thought it would. But bear with me; I'm trying. You say you're having a problem with your ending, so I'm trying to figure out why the book ends this way. There's a series of whys and hows that I'm struggling with. What is the difference between Ripheus and Armirex? What is each one's goal? And why? Are they working together? Are they at odds? I get that Armirex wants to reawaken Appolyon so it can fix the Keyscape, but it sounds like it's Ripheus that does most of the work, draining the Sea Alone. But Ripheus didn't know about this plan, did he? You said he was only draining the Sea Alone to satisfy some biblical allusion. So did Armirex manipulate Ripheus into doing that? Did he create Earth (and all its scriptures) just to deceive Ripheus? Or is it all just a coincidence? Is this the Hoid-like magical luck?
  7. As a non-philosophy major, I might need a little help wrapping my mind around this. Can you provide a little more context for this endgame? Maybe a summary of the story, and some more details on how the magic works? The idea of the morality-based magic is very interesting, but I'm struggling to understand how it works. What determines where a person is "supposed" to be? Is it all subject to the person's own moral judgments? Or is there an external absolute morality (God?) pulling the strings? And what does the Keyscape actually do? What does day-to-day magic look like, and how does the absolute-proof theorem play into it?
  8. This type of prologue is dear to me as well, and this is a pretty good execution of it. It worked for the Wheel of Time, it worked for Stormlight, and I think it'll work for you, @StrikerEZ. The only thing I'd recommend is that, like the Stormlight and WoT prologues, you could add more of an event to this. A meaningful conversation seems to be part of the formula. Maybe Karethi could be debating this prophecy issue with one of his "companions" instead of just within his own mind. But you definitely have my interest. I'd love to see more.
  9. Hemalurgy. It's a totally decentralized magic system. You can use it anywhere in the cosmere, as long as you know how. It doesn't require special spiritual genetics, a splinter-bond, or any kind of magical initiation. Just common things, like metal and savagery. It's even theoretically possible that, with a little hint from a worldhopper, a civilization could discover hemalurgy, study it in depth, and implement it on a huge scale, without ever realizing that they're harnessing the power of a Shard on a distant planet that they've never heard of. So here's my question. Are there other magic systems like that? And, if so, have we seen them? Is it possible that we've witnessed the magic of an unknown shard, and mistaken it for the work of a local shard, or a basic law of the cosmere? (Wouldn't hemalurgy look like that, if you used it without knowing of Ruin?) A few months ago I posted my theory about the remaining unnamed Shards of Adonalsium. Based on the logic of that theory, I proposed the existence of a shard called Artifice. Artifice is a counterpart to Cultivation, sharing her interest in progress and creation, but approaching it through more direct mechanical means. Artifice is a creator who makes no effort to disguise creation as evolution. Artifice is a god of creativity, ingenuity, and invention. (Ingenuity, of course, is a not-quite-canon Shard, much discussed on a recent Shardcast. It sounds like Ingenuity is a creativity-oriented Shard that has a definite place in the cosmere, but Brandon can't canonize it because he isn't happy with the name. Well, Brandon, how about Artifice? That's a cool name.) I theorized that Artifice's magic system would be a crafting system. That reminded me of this WoB: Based on the tone of that conversation, I'm guessing the thing that picks Elantrians isn't really a fabrial. I'm inclined to think it's an Avatar, or something like that. But that's not important. Look at the part that I underlined. So fabrials are a cosmere-wide phenomenon, with big implications for the later cosmere. (not unlike hemalurgy.) And clearly the standard spren-and-gemstone device that we've seen on Roshar is not the only kind of device that you could call a fabrial. Brandon has also confirmed that the construction of fabrials is a magic system in its own right, distinct from the others on Roshar: But we have little or no reason to believe that fabrial science is connected to any of the local shards. It may not even be native to Roshar. Combine this with its apparent universality, and I propose that the construction of fabrials is actually a non-localized magic system, like hemalurgy, connected to a currently unrevealed shard. And I think this points to the existence of a creative, mechanically-oriented shard, like my theoretical Artifice/Ingenuity. This fabrial magic system would manifest differently on different Shardworlds, using local Foci and interacting with local manifestations of investiture (magic systems). On Roshar, fabrials use spren, just like surgebinding does. On Scadrial it would work differently. I believe the many magical devices we saw in Bands of Mourning are the Scadrian manifestation of the fabrial system. The undeniable parallel is that both southern Scadrian and Rosharan artifabrians can create a mechanical device which mimics the abilities of a local magic-user. The south Scadrian airship lowers its mass, like a feruchemist. Their allomantic grenades can use allomancy, just like humans do. And on Roshar, we see fabrials that can heal like an Edgedancer, soulcast like a Lightweaver, and teleport like an Elsecaller. The construction of these Scadrian fabrials could be seen as very similar to the Rosharan variant. The power source is a reservoir of raw investiture fuel: a stormlight-infused gemstone, or an ettmetal battery. The other key component, which I'll call the Effect Generator, is another piece of investiture, comparable to innate investiture in humans, which determines the magical effect. In Rosharan fabrials the Effect Generator is a spren. In Scadrian ones it is most likely either a nicrosilmind or a hemalurgic spike, or something similar produced by the mysterious Excisor device. The third component, which connects the Effect Generator to the power source, is a metal apparatus, which I'm sure we'll find hidden inside most south Scadrian devices. This seems to reflect a basic rule of this magic system, or perhaps of the cosmere in general: an inanimate object can only use magic if it's metallic. Further speculations: Thoughts?
  10. Well, the creatures on the surgebinding chart are larkins, the investiture-eating creatures. They have wings, but as far as we know, they are not dragons. The glyph you see in the chart's border has been discussed at length in the translation thread. I believe it says "Roshar," though "Urithiru" has also been proposed. The "dragon heads" in the Plains map, regrettably, are probably just rocks. I don't think there's a pattern here, but I applaud your initiative. Welcome to the Shard!
  11. Since you've picked out Earth cultures as a model, you can use their languages to come up with names. I don't know exactly how things are distributed, but I think it would make sense if all the kingdoms used Latin or Latin-derived versions of their elements' names, and the tribal clans used the Germanic or Gaelic versions. For instance, the Earth Kingdom could be called "Terra," and the earth clan/tribe could be called "Earthfolk" of "Turfmen."
  12. What if Unity was the shard's name all along? Maybe "Honor" is Tanavast's Passion.
  13. I have a few comments. First, if you're serious about writing a play, you might want to work on the formatting. There are plenty of free programs that will do stageplay or screenplay format for you automatically. Or, if you want to keep using a simple word processor, keep in mind that you need to create clear, visible distinctions between the three kinds of text: character, dialog, and stage direction. Right now the characters are the same as the dialog, which can get confusing. Second, you're missing a lot of punctuation. Take a sentence like "He is a liar the troops were well fed." This is actually two sentences. I've made one bold and the other italic. If you're not going to put a proper sentence break between them, you at least need a comma, a semicolon, or an em-dash. (And well-fed should have a hyphen.) Show, don't tell. For instance, the Angel tells the audience that this story "has far more to it than meets the eye." If this is true, the audience doesn't need to be told. They will figure it out by watching the play. In general, you'll want to cut down all the exposition. Too many of these characters give long speeches to explain things. Try to convey only the information that's absolutely necessary, and in short, meaningful bursts, then get right to the point of the scene. Have you written any more, or outlined the rest of the play? I'm curious to see where it's going.
  14. I guess it depends what you mean by "too drug-like." The fact that it's drug-like isn't inherently bad. Unless you're trying to get this published in a middle-grade book, I'm sure you won't have any problems with censorship. The problem, as I see it, is that it's too drug-like not to be about drugs. It looks like a story inspired by drug use, commenting on drug use. I can't tell if the commentary is pro-drug or anti-drug or somewhere in between, but this story will say something about drugs whether you want it to or not. So you should probably figure out what you'd like to say about drugs, and make sure you're not inadvertently saying the opposite. Or, of course, you could make it less drug-like. If that's your goal, I recommend you remove everything about burning moss and inhaling smoke. Find a way to get into the smokeworld that doesn't involve ingesting strange chemicals.
  15. fabrials

    Even if you could control it, and use it to motivate people for good causes, manipulating people like that is still pretty dishonorable. I doubt Dalinar would approve. All told, it sounds like a recipe for disaster. You might even be giving it an opening to work its magic from inside the gem.