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Illegally cute. I call foul. Ed bird doing her education job. Educating us on cute.

Alright well thanks to the revelations presented in thread, and I've just finished watching Ocean's Eleven and read it and like comprehended it, I'll say that I'm pretty annoyed right now. So, first I guess I'll have to talk about Conq, seeing as apparently he's from Roshar, but isn't from Roshar, and due to his actions, I wanna say that Roshar doesn't want him. So yeah, Conq. Don't know what afterlife is like in whatever faction you're now in, but you probs won't end up in the Roshar one. Don't really wanna say more about that, to be honest. Whatever faction was letting him just help them though, i'm pretty miffed at you too (has the faction that accepted Conq been said in thread? I kinda lied when I said I comprehended it) Secondly, now I know Nyali is an independent. Which doesn't really explain why she isn't acting like an independent. Is anyone in this little faction of peeps actually meant to be in the faction at this point? I mean, it's not like Nyali has the independent role that's hard cause you have to kill everyone, but instead has the one where they could easily go in thread at this point 'I'll just be chilling and using my ability because I'm independent and if you wanna test it then target me' but nope. Apparently it's a role where you gotta help Conq and whoever else is with Conq (I'm guessing the group that all voted on Ecth, because that would explain the bandwagon at this point). Lastly, 'sounds like she's not working with us anymore.' I've got mainly two things to say about this, first being that Nyali should not be using the word 'us' when she is an 'independent'. Okay? Secondly, now Wilson is in this little faction thing as well? Is everyone in this but me? Just because I didn't wanna make any PMs this game as a little thing to see if anyone would actually talk to me otherwise? (btw the answer is no) (This was all written before Conq replied to the thread) Conq, you've asked a great question there, and let me say, I think I've got the answer for you. You see, I didn't know any Rosharians before this cycle either, but now I can guess that Conq and Ecth are the other ones, so that's a start. But let's just not focus on that, let's instead focus on how I was in a similar position to Conq, where I didn't know any other Rosharians. Now that everyone knows that (because i think I told everyone else that when I actually told Joe something 'cause he seems to be in this faction of peeps) anyway, everyone should also be able to say that I definitely did not go to other people saying 'Hi I can't win the game while working with you but I'm gonna work with you anyway because there was no-one in my faction to talk to :(', instead I just chilled, because as long as other people die and I'm not helping the enemy faction, then I'm at least not doing anything negative. (Ecth has now replied to the thread, this is getting kind of long but screw it I'm peeved now) Okay, so apparently Ecth knew of me during T3, but I only know just learnt of him. Well I can definitely say that I am performing to my best this game. Might end the post here, gonna put a TLDR in 'cause I understand how useful it is unlike some people that write even longer posts (hint EL AND AMAN) (Conq has now replied again, but I'm just gonna ignore him because after all he totally isn't from Roshar) To make a medium post short: 1. I voted on Conq. 2. Nyali ain't really being independent. 3. Apparently everyone but me is working together or something. 4. I replied to Conq. 5. Turns out this game has not been good for me. 6. I just ignore Conq now.

Ugh, I dear hope not. This concept is so popular, there are three different tropes just to describe its varieties. I'd easily withstand Kaladin spending the next two books quietly pining for Shallan from a distance and going all craaawling iiin my skiiin on us if this cliché was the alternative. I'd say not really - she has literally no proof of her identity, and the last time Kaladin saw her, she gave him a completely different story for herself. There's no reason for him to trust her this time when she lied the last time, and there's no reason for her to assume she'll just be let inside - save for the "entitlement" that comes with lighteyes upbringing. Considering that boot theft thing, I'd say she should've swallowed her pride and act slightly more agreeable than "bah, you're so far beneath me, I bet you don't even know who your parents are". True, Kaladin didn't act like he should either, but I'm with goody153 on this one - it's Shallan who's responsible for the conflict escalating like that.

You don't really pick a colour, 'cause there is already some colour based stuff in SE, where black is game talk, and blue is OOG (out of game) talk. Usually used for stuff like if you can't put much effort in the game due to an RL thing. Otherwise, yeah, you just go to a sign-up thread (of which there are none right now) and just say something along the lines of 'I'm signing up and this is my character name' etc. The members of the Village (good) and the Eliminators (bad) are usually decided by random, but the GM might move some players around so that the game is balanced.

Round Five: Balancing the Scales. This round is one of the most exciting in years. This is Al Vron reporting live from Sennti. Some of the rounds before were real nail biters. There have been a few surprises along the way but everyone seems to be taking their game to another level. So sit back and enjoy some great Sennti action. The local favorite is Sel’s own Dunquaivel. This is her first Sennti match and she’s been groomed by some of the greats. She is rumored to have lightning reflexes and expert training. I know she’s one of the crowds favorites but you got to think that all the attention gets to her. When there are no expectations on you, you can just relax and enjoy the fight but we’ll see how well she does. I was in the Elysium Club last night and someone asked me “Hey Al, when are you going to retire?” I’ll tell you the same thing I told him. When they drag me away. I love Sennti. Ever since I watched my first game as a kid, I’ve been hooked. So until the Sennti execs give me the boot, I’ll keep giving you the play by play and they better come armed because I plan on putting up one heck of a fight. And there goes Dunquaivel. I really think that Sel is pushing her too hard. Being a rookie is tough enough but if you have been flagged as the one to bet, it really adds to the pressure. One of the advantages of being a rookie is that the hot shots ignore you until later but she doesn’t have that luxury and she’s now out of the running. Dunquaivel - Daniyah has been lynched. They were from Sel Round Five has begun. You have 47.5 hours. Vote Tally: Dani (9): Stink, Len, Wilson, Dani, Ec3, Con, Elb, Lopen, Stick Wilson (4): Nyali, Joe, Burnt, Bugsy Ec3 (1): Silverblade

He's adapting the Joker's "You're just a freak, like me" speech from The Dark Knight.

Classic XD

My grandmother came over with a bunch of stuff today. She hands me books on knitting (that she thinks I want), gives my brother some bits and pieces, holds out a pamphlet which I took. Seconds later my grandmother (gently) took the pamphlet from my hand and gave it to my brother while talking about something else, like she wasn't even conscious of what she was doing. Would I be wrong in calling ingrained sexism? I get the knitting books and my brother gets all the "Important" stuff? Because I'm offended and I'm not entirely sure why/if I should be. I was literally holding it and she literally took it from my hands and gave it to my brother. What, I'm not capable of holding a pamphlet or something? And it's my grandmother and I know she didn't mean any harm just........yeah. Opinions, anyone?

So I was thinking about how insanely intelligent Mr T was on the day he made the Diagram. This is a fairly crackpot theory, but it makes sense, and explains some things that didn't make sense to me. I think that on his intelligent days, he actually has more innate Investiture, and less on his stupid days. Hear me out on this. The first thing that made me think about what could be up was how he knew/figured out so much. It simply didn't make any sense to me. I don't care how smart you are, you don't simply deduce that much about the Radiants and Shin. You can't predict the effects of the Stormfather's visions on Dalinar years in advance like that. He simply gained knowledge that was literally impossible to aquire by simple superintelligence. I thought then about the Band's effect on your sight and how people's minds expand on Ascention. The two then connected in my head. What if the boons/banes affect your spiritweb to manipulate you into experiencing a cognitive effect? Magic is performed through Investiture manipulation, so why not this? If, then, Mr T is experiencing a change in his Investiture that directly impacts his intelligence and compassion, what happens when he has an incredibly high day? He gets some low level sight into the Spiritual Realm like you get with the Bands, coupled with the intelligence necessary to truly understand it. Also, since it stems from Cultivation, he may be better at predicting the future. It also appears fairly end neutral since his intelligence is random centering around average intelligence. Since distance is a non entity in the SR, he can figure things out in distant Shinovar and predict who the Stormfather would send visions to etc. To me, this is a satisfactory answer to why he knew so stinking much that day. On a side note, if he had an incredibly bad day, would he die of stupidity? He could potentially not have the base intelligence necessary to keep his heart beating and breath in his lungs.

The Wheel of Plot turns, and Ages come and pass, leaving memories that pass into legend. Legend fades to myth, and some of those myths end up looking really silly to people familiar with the source material! For example: The silly, nearly incomprehensible inner-city slang of a thieving street urchin in one age is regarded in another as the High Tongue. In the Final Empire, Kelsier was a sociopath and an anarchist, dedicated to destroying the existing social order, whereas Sazed was a great preserver of knowledge and bringer of stability. In Wax's time, we see that the Church of the Survivor is a powerful, organized institution with churches, doctrines, and commandments, and their adherents look aghast at Sazed's Path, viewing it as a dangerously Chaotic (in the D&D alignment sense) religion. Marsh, who saved the entire world from Ruin and destruction by fighting off a dark god's influence just barely enough to pull Vin's earring out, who has acted (mostly) as a benevolent servant of Harmony ever since, is viewed centuries later as the Grim Reaper, bringer of death. It makes me wonder what sort of strange ironies (not to be confused with Ironeyes, of course!) we'll end up seeing in the Mistborn Modern series. How will they look upon Wax, Wayne, Marasi, Steris, and the rest?

That's actually a really interesting observation. It's not the only time that you'll see something a little anachronistic; I think Wax and Wayne have a lot of metaphors that don't quite make sense given the history of their world. I expect it's for the benefit of the readers (especially the casual readers), so not throw off the pacing of the story. Brandon plays with that concept in Stormlight, with Wit intentionally making references to creatures that nobody on Roshar would be familiar with and totally derailing the conversation. But in terms of the text of the book, it can be treated as a 'translation' to English, with phrases like that meaning more like "the planet's final sighs" said in a way that seems natural to the readers. It does use earth with a lower-case-"e," so it's not specifically referring to our home planet.

Hey all! I've been a Sanderson fan since grade school when I read the Alcatraz Books, and throughout Jr. High and High School have kept on reading. I've not been reading as much recently as I would like so I have some catching up to do. And as I was starting The Final Empire again today realized that I was not yet a member here. So here I am! You can find me on the Brandon Sanderson Subreddit at u/thedj47 where I am moderately active.

I'll continue to defend Stephen! Stephen Leeds is a highly intelligent individual, but his mind cannot function at such a high level. In order to make up for this, his brain created Aspects, which are compartments of his brain represented by several hallucinations. Each hallucination is an expert on various subjects. I forget how many there are, but I think I remember there being several dozen. Each of these aspects has some kind of mental disorder, and many think that if Stephen didn't see these aspects, he himself would have those disorders. He can do incredible things with the aspects, such as unconsciously reading a book and creating an aspect with all the knowledge of what happened in the book. So I'd actually go on a limb and say he IS more quirky than L. And well, no one is as Wayne as Wayne. Each of the remaining characters are great in their own right, but the story and psychology of Stephen are vastly more interesting than any of these characters, at least in my opinion. I really wish more people would read Legion, I truly think it's one of Brandon's best works.

“I did manage to find something out about his powers, Queen Buttercup. I slid a razor edge, more than sharp enough to cut on its own, over his hand without him noticing. It did not cut him, meaning that he does have some damage resistance independent of Epic powers, although I could not say just how significant it is.” So Argon did have a more developed power portfolio, interesting. It was good that Buttercup had had managed to spot Argon’s maneuver, seeing how Kenshin herself had failed to do so. Even if it likely would have been too suspicious, Kenshin did not even consider further examining the corpses. Killing these creatures was easy enough that she didn’t even consider Argon too incompetent to deal with them on his own but seeing how spineless he likely would had have let per proceed anyway. However such an attempt may have turned out, Kenshin considered this as a failing on her part. “Ma’am, if I may ask, do you already have a plan on how to proceed further concerning him?”

Since no one else mentioned it here, thought I'd also point out the face in a rock formation on page 65, after Kenton joins Khriss' party. It's on the upper right of the page, noticed it on my first readthrough about two months back:

Is anyone else watching Stranger Things? I powered through the first 5 episodes yesterday and it is quite good.

Not to deter further discussion about the ethics of Adolin's actions, but to comment on the original topic... I can't stand love triangles. I mean, a little bit of teasing to make us wonder what will happen is great. But I don't like reading about teenage drama, which is what ever love triangle seems to degrade into. If the Shallan-Adolin-Kaladin triangle is still around by the end of book 4 (at least) then I'll be disappointed. I personally prefer Adolin. Mainly because it feels less cliche. I also think there's more room for growth of a Shallan-Adolin relationship. If it just continues as it is then I'd certainly be disappointed, but there are all kinds of ways that Brandon could introduce some interesting conflict and development into their romance. If you think Shallan and Adolin make a boring couple or a bad fit then you're ignoring the potential that they have, I think. Shallan and Kaladin, on the other hand, are both heavyweight characters. They've got their own stories to tell. I honestly don't see how anyone can think there's ROOM for a Shallan-Kaladin love story. It would be completely eclipsed by their personal story arcs. And the two of them (along with their romance) would totally hog the epic story that Brandon is telling. No... That just doesn't make sense to me from a storytelling standpoint. Adolin is a fascinating character, but he's not so strong that he'll get in the way of a romance story on the side. Yes, Shallan and Kaladin both had a difficult past. And they certainly shared a powerful experience being stuck in the chasms during a highstorm. That absolutely explains their awkward relationship at the moment. It doesn't at all mean they're good for each other. Kaladin could certainly use her optimism and all... But I'd much rather seem him conquer his own depression (or learn to live with it better) rather than just be paired with a woman who can patch up the problem. And after everything else... he (probably) killed her brother. I can see Shallan making peace with this, certainly, but I absolutely can't see her being romanced by Kaladin after discovering this. It would make no sense for her character. And Shallan and Adolin DO have a lot in common. Heck, they've both murdered people because they felt it was morally justified and necessary. I'd like to see Adolin being broken in some way, considering he's lived such a smooth and privileged rich-boy life up to this point. He needs some depth for Shallan to connect with. But there's plenty of time for that to develop. Heck, it's likely coming right up, given his final actions in WoR.

It's fine, I'm sure we can call the Inquisitors back before they reach your front door Actually, I would not mind having another week with the material that I was going to submit, so I will step back and submit on September 5th (please, Silk?).

I think the answer to the question would be: Had Adolin's mental state been any different when he met Sadeas, would he have killed him still? Had he not been stressed out of his mind, would he have snapped? I think the answer is no. He would have never done it because he has been there and the walked away. The difference here is he just broke down: too much stress, too much pressure. Everyone (especially Dalinar) has been shoveling everything within his yard without taking one moment to check if he was fine with it: Adolin is always fine with everything. You can shove him across the board back and forth and he is fine, except he isn't. He never was, but he loved to pretend he was. He refused to speak up his own doubts and fears, thinking he needed to be strong, for them. The snapping, the rage, it was all of those emotions he had been pilling up for the longest time which erupted. Was it nice? Well, no. Killing someone is never nice, but I still agree with Erunion here. Adolin remains, fundamentally a nice person which may be why he snapped: within his selflessness, he never got the chance to express his true feelings of anxiety. Little wonder he blew up. I also disagree Adolin hiding the clues where the act of a calculating individual: he wasn't calculating anything. If we go and re-read the scene, it says something along the lines of: "Dazed, Adolin still had enough mind to think of doing XYZ". Dazed. Confused. Clearly, he is in shock. Was it the journey or the destination? Only time will tell, but as far as I am concerned with Adolin, the only way to bring about his character wrong would be to not give him the focus he deserves and to ignore his growing mental instability, not giving it enough page time for the readers to dig into it. Adolin also is a rather sensitive guy with strong emotions: the killing will generate a new horde of stronger feelings even which he has never learned how to deal with. Therefore, if Adolin is suddenly composed and calm, then it will be a bad continuity for his character. So hopefully, once again, his arc will be satisfying for all who wishes to read it.

LG25: Night Three - Rox Felix Rox stood before the town proudly. “My Breath was stolen, yes, but it was recovered! Or how would I be standing here, when drabs have obviously been systematically killed?” “Have they been? Only two have died,” said someone suspiciously. “Well, yes, but more are obviously going to die,” Rox said, waving a hand impatiently. “Just wait and see tonight.” “I don’t think Rox escaped the drab assassin,” another said. “I think he Returned.” Rox gasped in shock. “There’s no call for such needless accusations! I am not one of those Idrian Returned! You all know me. Would I join them?” “If you Returned. If you had no other choice.” “I would never. Not even if it meant my life.” “People will do a lot for their lives,” someone commented quietly. “But… you know what? Fine.” And then Rox suddenly shifted. From a small, scrawny-looking man, he grew, his chin becoming sharper, hair lengthening slightly and softening from greasy to merely sleek, eyes darkening, body changing proportion until he was a perfect specimen of manhood. “I am Luckstar the Fortunate,” he said richly. “Let’s see you lynch me now. I am your god.” Silence spread across the square. Then, a single voice was clearly heard. “You killed Ryth and Asher!” Then there was a roar of sound. And none of Rox’s handsomeness protected him from being torn to pieces by a dozen hands. Ecth was lynched! He was a Idrian Returned! Night Three has begun. You have 24 hours to send in your actions. Vote Count Ecthelion (11): Frozen Mint, Dalinar, Conquestor, Twelfthrootoftwo, Magestar, Straw, Bard, Doctor, Meta, Lopen, Luckat Mark (1): Ecthelion Quicklinks Player List

Welcome to the forums! Have an upvote! Oh, and don't take the cookie, it's dangerous. My personal strategy for reading epic fantasy is to get it as a kindle book, so I can do quick searches for character names Other than that, I agree with everyone else; just try to immerse yourself in the story, and it'll work out. After you finish reading WoK, I'd suggest reading Warbreaker and Emperor's Soul, then doing a reread of WoK, and then finally starting WoR. It'll help you with some of the WoR concepts, hopefully

So I've noticed that a fair share of people here struggle with various self-esteem issues, anxiety, depression etc. and while text on a screen can't solve chemical imbalances or serious medical issues, we can certainly help each other feel better about ourselves and make life somewhat easier. So here's how it works: someone posts (and I'm not fishing here, we can totally start with the first person to reply). The next person compliments the person above them - and no shallow compliments either. We don't know what each other looks like so 'you have pretty eyes' is off, as is the bland 'you have a great personality'. Find something you genuinely like about that person and then give them a real, true compliment. Off-topic discussion can ensue, and I'm sure silliness will, but every single post has to compliment the person above or it gets a single downvote (is that within forum guidelines?) No holding back guys. You've read this and are now obligated to post. Go for it!

Finally, after 3 re-reads of everything Sanderson-related I could find, I am joining the discussion. Mistborn hooked me in, but the Stormlight Archive is driving me into a slow and beautiful insanity. Nobody I know in real life is a fan, and I really need a place where I don’t feel so weird if I research a fiction topic almost as rigorously as my master’s thesis. Most of the ideas that I had are related to stuff you guys have debated for years! I am in awe at your scientific approach to various hypotheses and also a bit intimidated. I have to admit that this very forum made me fall in love with Brandon’s work all over again. So hello!

LG25: Day 4 - TITLE Stanley grinned, standing over Yulis’s bed with a new dagger after he’d gotten rid of the old one. He’d just gotten his payment for the last two drabs from last night, and the coins were a comfortable weight in his pocket. So he didn’t bother to be subtle this time. He just stabbed. And stabbed. And stabbed. Stomach, throat, cheek, and finally the heart. He giggled maniacally as he did, and couldn’t seem to stop. There’s probably something wrong with me… I think I don’t actually care. He laughed and continued to stab, until Yulis was just a bloody, unrecognizable corpse. Then he went on to the other drab he’d heard of. Jaftar. This time he decided to be a bit more creative. Glitter! Jaftar awoke only briefly Breath was stolen! Mark IV died! He was a Hallandren Villager! He had a Lifeless! Silver Dragon died! He was a Hallandren Villager! Twelfth root of two was killed by an Awakened Rabbit! e was a Hallandren Villager with an Awakened Clothing! I’m still sending PM’s. I apologize in advance for any inaccuracies in the PM’s.

Welcome to the Shard arubio315! Have a cookie! Also, you should probably read Elantris and Warbreaker too, there might be some spoilers on this forum.

You guys killed all the easy ones while I was gone! Why cruel world?? *Shakes fist and then lapses into silence* ........... *Starts awake* Ah, my turn. Right. Er... I like David and Joel, but Joel has the most and David the least, so... Hurt Joel, Heal David. 1. David--10 2. Megan--18 3. Cody--18 9. Joel--18 10. Melody--18 17. Stephen Leeds--18

She doesn't look like a typical actress (even getting genuine frumpy hair/glasses/clothes), so some of the fans get a "Wow, a real person!" effect. Also, her orientation is never addressed, so LGBT fans of the show have embraced her as whatever they've decided she is ('cause she doesn't really do much of anything.)

Can't go wrong with any of those, @Morzathoth. I myself finished The Book of Cain. Which is alright, if you are a fan of the Diablo franchise. Am now (finally) reading Randall Munroe's (the XKCD guy) What If? book. I am mildly disappointed that a large fraction of the content in it comes directly from the respective section on the website (i.e. there isn't as much new content as I had hoped there would be). But it's still something I would recommend unconditionally.

Personally, I don't get the Barb obsession. Fine, she's the only teenage character that does not start out as an unlikable tool, but an intriguing character?

I have diabetes, and I prick my finger (and give shots and stuff) multiple times a day, and my best friend is extremely uncomfortable with blood. It's really rather amusing to watch her reactions.

I think Adolin might die. However, I dont think Brandon kills purely for shock value.

I am still convincecd that Tom Bombadil from LOTR ist Hoid after he decided to settle down. Adonalsium is Illuvatar, and Middle-Earth is some kind of Yolen restored.

I stood at the Jordan River where Jesus was baptised and waved at the Jordanian soldiers and Taiwanese tourists on the other side. And I saw and heard the Syrian civil war.....from safely behind the Israeli border. And I crawled through a tiny rock tunnel into a small cave where my ancestors hid out when fighting the Romans. Basically Israel is an awesome country.

@WayneSpren FunTimes as the Overly Attached Girlfriend is perfect. XD I have moar memes from page 1! Funtimes vs Fortuity: Scorch and Flashpoint squabbling:

I am pretty sure inquisitors have to burn metals for one thing Marsh had a metal vial on him that Vin stole in Hero of Ages and this WoB QUESTION So do Inquisitors, when they use Allomancy, have to actually ingest the metals? BRANDON SANDERSON They actually do. So what is happening is Hemalurgy rips off a piece of one person's soul and spikes it somebody else and so it is basically taking off the piece of someone's soul that makes them an Allomancer and adding it to someone else instead and so then they act as an Allomancer just as it would happen. This WoB makes it seem to me that Inquistors have to burn metals just like any other Allomancer.

You are new and new blood is delicious.

Rotate the screen/your head 90 degrees to the left. That is dope! Hooray for hidden things

marsh cause my profile pic

Not even a Voidbringer?

The Stormlight Archives Regency Romance PART FOUR Shallan was woken by a housemaid at quarter-to-nine, when the curtains around the bed were dragged open with no warning. Bright sunlight and fresh, wholesome country air streamed in; it was probably what doctors all round the country ordered for curing the feminine hysterics – she would not be the least surprised if it was a cure that particular Doctor was fond of recommending. Shallan, completely gracelessly, rolled onto her stomach and heaved the blanket over her head. “Lady Shallan! If you don’t rise now, your bath shall get cold – and Her Ladyship has requested your presence in the Teal Drawing Room at half-past-nine for breakfast.” Oh. Lady Jasnah. Things to do to-day. Doing things, what an absolutely dreadful concept. Shallan groaned and stirred; waking up – rather, being woken up – never failed to make her feel cross and fatigued. It took minutes to regain her faculties, and in the meantime her limbs hung leaden and clumsy. That was why when she kicked the blanket off, the cold bed-warmer fell from the bed onto the parquet with a loud clank, spraying a cloud of ash down the side of the linens that settled slowly onto the floor. This is what came of bothering to get out of bed in the morning. Numbly, Shallan allowed the maid to drape a dressing gown over her nightdress, and lead her lethargically down the hall towards the bathing chamber and the waiting bath. The chamber’s floor was of alternating tiles in blue and white, and the walls were painted white and scattered with framed pictures of artistically stylised towers. She undressed while staring at the wall with no particular interest; her eyes were unfocused and her mind was still dully contemplating the dream she was having when she was so rudely awoken. It was something about beads, endless beads under an endless black sky ... strange, wasn’t it, how quickly dreams fled from the mind in the light of day. When she stepped into the lukewarm water of the tub, the events of the previous evening hit her with humiliating clarity; she shuddered with the desperate cringing embarrassment of hindsight and slid her face underwater. No one heard her screams: there came only the sound of occasional splashing; merry bubbles rose gently to the surface. After the bath, Shallan felt much better. *** Shallan arrived at the Teal Drawing Room three minutes past the half-hour. True to its name, it was tastefully papered in delicate shades of teal and pastel turquoise; the moulding on the ceilings was white and resembled frozen tidal waves. Jasnah was seated already, looking perfectly refreshed for the morning - there was a cup of tea by her left hand and a rack of news sheets hanging from a wooden dolly on the floor by her right. Her hair was fashionably done up with carved bone sticks, and her lips were painted a deep red. A footman with a tray drew next to Shallan’s elbow and started unloading plates. Toasted bread rolls in a basket, fruit preserves, a small bowl of bland but healthful broth, miniature scones with butter and cream, fresh fruits peeled and sliced with a small jar of powdered white sugar on the side. The cutlery was silver today; the shields in relief on the handle were enamelled in white. She felt a pang when the footman retreated and she saw that there was no oatmeal; nothing on the table was made with oats. “You look well this morning,” commented Jasnah. She took a sip of tea. Her lips left no red smear on fine white porcelain. How did she do it? “I’m as well as could be expected,” said Shallan. She loaded her plate and started eating. How convenient it was that the Kholins had servants that made sure all their bread was buttered, whether they were going to eat it or not. “You should present a more amiable temperament, Shallan, if you want the gentlemen more favourably disposed towards you. Especially in the morning.” “By the time they find out what I’m like in the morning, it will be too late,” replied Shallan through a mouthful of bread and jam. Strawberry jam; that was a delight. She had not tasted jam this nice in years. The inns’ guest breakfasts served cheap jam made with more aspic than sugar, which left an unpleasant lingering aftertaste: after a disappointing try at the first inn, she had eaten her bread plain for the rest of the journey. “Nevertheless,” sighed Jasnah, “we want you to make a positive impression. If one cannot be congenial, one should always defer to courtesy. However, if all goes well and Cousin Adolin is pleased to make your acquaintance, we shall have an official presentation for the Family next week, before my uncle returns to the front. ‘’I have confidence that, if this suit proves successful, we should remain firm allies. There is much work to be done, and a mutual co-operation would be ... beneficial. The queen dowager, my mother, has influence but no power. My sister-in-law, the queen, has no interest. You understand, Shallan.” There was truth in that, an unexpectedly tentative truth, but it was still there, feebly revealing itself to her. Jasnah, in a roundabout fashion – was she even aware of it? – was showing Shallan something of her own vulnerability, as brief a view as it was. She had helped Jasnah bathe and had seen her undressed; Jasnah had not lied yet to Shallan nor ever had any reason to – but suddenly this last sentence outstripped the level of intimacy to which she had previously been privy. Shallan was queerly gratified to know that the confident Jasnah could feel she might falter from the weight of bearing her burdens alone. Shallan took a gulp of tea to wash the bread down. It was very hot tea. “I am grateful,” she gasped, clearing her throat. “For the opportunity. Of course. But would you not have accomplished your objectives sooner with a girl more biddable?” “A compliant girl would be next to useless at court; she would not be able to hold my cousin's overeager attentions: I have tried that before.” “And … have you not tried for an advantageous match of your own?” asked Shallan. This was very forward, but Shallan was no Anglethi, after all. She had been curious, and there never had been an opportunity – before this – to know; inquiries to others on the subject would have felt a duplicitous intrusion, as most information from second- or third-hand sources was likely to be no more valuable than common gossip. Jasnah, as a historian and scholar, was naturally disdainful of anything that wasn’t primary. Even that, sometimes, required wary scepticism. Jasnah looked at Shallan. Shallan sensed that Jasnah was looking in her direction, but wasn’t looking at her. Their eyes didn’t meet, but rather wavered to and fro; no doubt each woman was gazing intently at the other’s nose without making it obvious that she was. A pervasive tension hummed in the air; she felt that Jasnah was as likely to share another truth as she was to tell her to stop asking prying questions and finish her breakfast. Jasnah finally spoke: “There are certain – responsibilities – involved in marriage that I find I cannot accept. I will admit to this: I rank as Countess rather than Princess not because of relegation, no matter the rumour, but by my own choice. “I am grateful – though I cannot say I am approving – that you willingly make yourself beholden to a man, even if society judges him to be a good one and a smart match. If ever the responsibilities become ... unpalatable ... to you, you must inform me while there is still time. “But never mind, the day passes; we must get on.” Jasnah plucked the napkin off her lap and dropped it on her plate; as if on cue, the footman on duty at the door was by her side to pull out her chair. The newspaper rack was carried away and the settings were cleared as Shallan finished her last bite. Jasnah, standing now, said, “My cousin was expected to arrive after dinner last evening; we meant to make the first introduction then. He was delayed, so we might as well do it now. They are in the North Courtyard for their morning constitutionals – shall we join them?” Authors Notes: This is the scene that I wish had been the first chapter of WoR. Jasnah proves she has a heart! A shrivelled, dusty heart with a few dings in it, but it’s still there and she wants to protect Shallan while still using her at the same time. I write Shallan as snarky but not non-stop puns because 1) it doesn’t fit the genre 2) I am not funny 3) I found it kind of annoying after a while. I also don’t write Kaladin as the 100% angry jerk some people expect him to be, because here his character has already developed since he became friends with Adolin earlier than the original timeline. He has already figured out that not all noblemen are trash and to replay an AU version of the notoriously polarising WoR Prison Scene would be make me go blaaarrgghhh. YMMV, etc. The subtext: The Davar kids traded the aluminium necklace for oats. Oatmeal now gives Shallan homesickness. She would probably throw up if she had to eat plain oats boiled in water again, but it’s still nostalgia. Jasnah is sour about Amaram, who is Viscount Meridas in this universe. She is obliquely referring to him (“even if society judges him to be a good one and a smart match”) while Shallan thinks she is talking about Adolin. And saucy details: a Countess (female Earl) can refuse a suit from a Viscount without scandal, and as a landowning peer cannot be easily married off to a foreigner by the King as a Princess might. I know entailment and inheritance didn’t work that way historically, so I will wave my hands and say that because Elhokar is King and Jasnah is the older daughter, Gavilar indulged her and made sure she was provided with an income, especially since they started liking each other more before his death.

Crimson spears shot from Lucentia's body, forming walls that trapped Nathan with Samantha. He couldn't see beyond that; aside from being an alarming shade of red and growing with remarkable speed, the walls were opaque. Nathan had one thought: I can't teleport. “Now, from what I have seen your girlfriend can´t transform my diamonds, is there anything you can do that doesn´t involve running away or begging for my mercy?” Somehow, Funtimes' muffled laugh cut through the diamond. "Tra-vel-er! Don't go anywhere! I've got a surprise for you!" Her laugh became the roar of a chainsaw, which sliced through the floor with a grinding roar and a shower of sawdust. "Diamonds aren't for-e-ver," she sang, vanishing into the crawlspace, "not when you're a mean-ie-face!" Nathan heard her pounding against the floor, felt the slight jolts through his shoes, and leaped backward, dragging Sam with him to dodge the chainsaw blade that rose through the floor. Funtimes giggled and stretched out her hand. Nathan had to kneel to take it, but kneel he did, yanking Sam down with him. Telling him to go after "The others, quick!" she visited the hippie and the Unicyclist. With them in hand, she gave her next order: "Kitchen, please!" Turning a wheelchair into a hungry wheelchair was a wonderful threat. Turning an Epic's dress into peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches was a fantastic one. Unfortunately, it didn't seem to resonate with Lucentia the way it should have. Hollow pings sounded from her side of the door, followed by excited cries and the sound of something pushing along the floor, tearing gashes in the wood as it advanced. Red light shone from the crack beneath the kitchen door. “Now," Lucentia said, her voice low and cool, "from what I have seen your girlfriend can´t transform my diamonds, is there anything you can do that doesn´t involve running away or begging for my mercy?” Funtimes answered that question with a laugh and the roar of a chainsaw. Judging by the grinding wail it produced, it cut through Lucentia's diamonds just fine. She sang, she laughed, and from the sounds of things, she grabbed the others before instructing Traveler to take her to the kitchen. A small frown creased her face at the sight of his injuries, but she shook it off, waving a hand at one of the cupboards. Five chainsaws appeared. "What's going on out there?" Funtimes dashed forward, grabbed a chainsaw, and thrust it into Remington's hands. "Lucentia—growing diamonds—take that and have fun!" Each of the others received a chainsaw and similar instructions, delivered with a giggle and a mad gleam in her eye. With the loudest, wildest laugh of all, Doctor Funtimes started her chainsaw and cut into the floor. Remington didn't have to be told twice. He pulled the cord on his chainsaw, which came to life with a satisfying roar. Calamity, he thought with a chuckle, I just might wind up liking that woman.

Kathy turned around to find a man with strange hair and a weird costume. Definitely an Epic. No one else would wear something that strange. "Wait. I'm not bad. That guy..." she started. Then she noticed that Travis had disappeared. She turned back around to see the Epic pointing the flamethrower at her. "Calamity!" she thought. "I like these clothes too." Then she set herself on fire and ran towards a nearby building.

What he didn't tell you is they cut off the last three seconds and the "Or perish".